Author's Notes: Yume - The male who assumes the bottom position during yaoi sex AKA the bitch
The Chronicles of Obsession: Desire
Chapter 3 - Alone
The Japanese collapsed, crushing his knees against the land. He felt the sharp rocks gash through his skin the more his weight fell to the ground. But he couldn't feel it, his mind was far away from his body. It took him away from this desert wasteland that he had been traveling across for 2 days. It still was unclear to him, how he got here. He completely lost, nothing in this place was familiar. He glanced across the entire land, seeing nothing, but coarse rock formations and pale green withered trees. Dried bushes and brown shrubs stretched across this foreign land with a burning sun in the sky, scarring him with blisters and sores. The land was also cruel to him, scratching at him with its thorns and branches, tripping him stones.
Two days had passed since Jin awoke here with fail memories. He could remember Heihachi's betrayal, but everything after was unclear. It wandered in his mind as he plodded in random directions, hoping for a way out. But no matter where he went, there was nothing. There was no sign of human life, no roads, cities, planes, nothing. He really was in the middle of nowhere… alone. As the Japanese thought more about his loneliness, he began to believe he truly deserved this. This was he path he had craved for himself, he pushed away the two people loved dearly… in exchange for a bullet in the head. The Japanese cursed himself over and over, even hit himself for being such a fool. He gave up the love of his life and his best friend… for this.
He couldn't face it any longer, the loneliness, the anger, the brutality. He just wanted to fade away, as if none of this really happened. And be someplace else… but it didn't matter. His mind was overcome with loneliness… because it what he chose for himself and he forced to endure it once again.
The Japanese sat quietly in the corner of the classroom, writing away on his essay. Even though, class had been dismissed, Jin wanted to finish writing the introduction of his paper. As the students piled out into the hallways, a few girls remained giggling to themselves. Jin glanced over at them, watching the four schoolgirls twitter even louder when they noticed he was looking at them. The Japanese sighed softly and continued brushing his pen against the paper. He knew those girls like to throw themselves at him whenever they could get the chance. Not only that, they were also four of Jin's massive and obsessive fan-girls. Soon afterwards, the four young girls wandered over to him, adding that extra swing in their hips.
"Konbonwa, Kazama-San." (Good evening, Kazama-San) One the girls said in a cute, seductive voice, speaking for the entire group.
"Konbonwa." (Good Evening) Jin replied politely, slipping his books and papers into his black handbag.
"Kyou wa kurasu ga suki desu ka, Kazama-San?" (Did you like class today, Kazama-San?) Another a girl asked shyly, hiding slightly behind one of her friends.
"Ogenki desu ka, Kazama-San?" (How are you doing, Kazama-San?) The third school girl asked, stepping closer to the Japanese.
"Daijoubo desu ka, Kazama-San?" (Are you all right, Kazama-San?) A final fourth voice added to the near one-sided conversation. Jin exhaled a gentle laugh and smiled graciously to the obsessive girls.
"Watashi wa genki desu." (I'm fine.) Jin replied, pulling his handbag onto the top of his desk.
"Ne, Kazama-San, otenki desu ne?" (Hey, Kazama-San, its such beautiful weather.) The second girl commented, leaning slightly over him.
"Hai, so desu," (Yes, it is.) The Japanese replied with a plain smile, placing the last of his remaining papers in his bag.
"Ja, matane." (Well, see you later.) As soon as he said those words left his lips, all of the girls started whining and complaining. The fan girls swarmed around him, invading the Japanese's space. Jin had to restrain himself from cowering and crying in a corner from being violated. He didn't like women, he never wanted to be the center of attention for girls, but somehow he was. Jin had been trying for a long to be attracted to girls, but he just wasn't interested.
Jin knew what he was, he was aware of it since he was child. There was no cure for it, nothing could change the fact that he loved men. Even if there were a cure for it, the Japanese would remain as he was. He couldn't understand the appeal of girls, but he knew it probably started with his mother. The love he had for his mother was unbinding and pure, and in a way, the only woman that really was for him was his mother. But that was it. The thought of him being with a girl sickened him. There was no desire for him to explore a woman sexually and maybe it was because he believed women were only mother figures, nothing more. That was all the Japanese could conclude. Perhaps he could only see women give nurturing love, maybe he was afraid of "tainting" a girl, even if it was true, his body, mind, and soul cried for a man. Everything was captivating about a man… but he knew no one would understand this. That was why he hid the true Jin away and wore a mask to school everyday, the mask of a "normal", friendly guy who shied away from girls. If anyone ever find out about the real Jin, they would laugh and torment him. It puzzled him… why people tortured those who are "different".
The Japanese thoughts were cut off short when one of the girls bumped into and nearly lost her balance. Jin peered behind the toppled girl just in time to see a Chinese girl darting down the lines of desks.
"OIIII!" (HEYYY!!) The unbalanced girl cried angrily, but the Chinese girl kept running towards the door.
"Gomennasai!" (Sorry!) The hurried girl replied with a slight wave, not looking back. The insulted girl growled and stomped her foot on the ground.
"Ano onna wa okashii desu ne!" (That girl is weird!) The second girl said in a snobbish tone. Jin grew a confused look
"Ano onna!" (That bitch!) The angry girl finally managed to yell. The Japanese sighed as he remembered the clash between his groupies and the new girl. Jin didn't know all the details, but the new girl was suppose to be a pervert of some sort.
"Chougokujin uwakionna!" (Chinese slut!) Another girl added. Jin let out a heavy sigh, wondering how long this was going to go on.
"Konojo wa ozomashii!" (She's disgusting!) The third school girl stated, pulling herself away from Jin. Slowly, but surely, the girls starting branching towards the doorway, granting Jin his freedom. The Japanese sighed with relief and laid back in his chair, trying to regain his thoughts.
"Boku wa yaoi ga suki desu!" (I like yaoi!) One of the girls mimicked, in a high pitch voice. The Japanese's eyes lit up at those words. The girls laughed at the impersonation and finally walked out of the room.
"Saitei!" (Disugusting!) One of the girls' voices echoed down the hall. The Japanese was deep in thought, thinking or hoping that maybe this new girl was different from the rest.
"Would she…" The Japanese trailed off as doubts began to fill his mind. He shook his head sadly, forgetting he ever had the idea.
"No one… would understand." Holding to that belief, he gathered his things and left the room. As he walked down the empty hallways, he began to wonder if there was such a thing as open minded-ness. He saw prejudice everyday, not just homosexuality, but with religion, races, classes, in nearly everything. His mind slipped back in past, trying to thinking of a time where bigotry didn't exist.
But as he thought more about it, the more examples of prejudice grew. The India people ruled over by the British. The African Americans slaved by the Whites. The Indians tricked by the Americans. The Jews tortured by the Germans. The Women inferior to the Men. Even though, these things had passed and were claimed to be in the past, a part of them still remained. Must gays go through the same thing just because they are who they are? Jin sighed wearily, he already knew the answer to that one.
The Japanese left his train of thought and returned to the physical world, stepping through the last double doors of the school. The bright sun greeted the Japanese's face with warm rays of light as the cool wind slithered about in the air. He took a deep breath of the refreshing air to forget his worries and skimmed around the parking lot of the school for his grandfather's escorts. However, there was no one he recognized in his sight. Believing they were late once again, the Japanese sat at the bottom of the stairs, watching his fellow schoolmates interact with each other.
After a few seconds of studying his classmates, he saw the Chinese girl again, standing by herself. He gazed at her with interest as she tried to socialize with other school members, but all she received was scoffs and insults. The Japanese felt his heart sadden at the sight of the girl trying her best to make friends.
It's cruel what we do to each other… the Japanese thought to himself. After a while, the Chinese girl finally gave up and stood quietly to herself with her arms, her eyes closed tightly and her eyebrows furled. It… looked like she was lonely.
Maybe… I should talk to her, Jin wondered, he knew how she felt and the last thing he wanted was someone to go through what he was. But just as he was pulling himself up, the girl quickly pointed an anger finger at a random group of people.
"YOU GUYS ARE A BUNCH FREAKS!!!" The girl screamed at the nearest crowd. Jin blinked a few times at the girl, frozen mid way of standing up. He was in completely shock, not only was this girl direct, but her knowledge of English was outstanding.
"I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF JAPAN, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!! JAPAN! JAPAN, THE CREATOR OF YAOI, SHOUNEN-AI, AND BISHOUEN!!" The girl stormed, stomping her feet madly on the concrete with her hands balled into fist. The Japanese couldn't help, but laugh at her statement. He felt sympathy for the poor, confused girl, she was placed at the one of the prestige schools for high-class officials… AKA the most traditional, strictest, closed-minded people on the planet. The Japanese leaned against the stair rail and watched the girl with amusement, wondering what she was gonna do next.
"Maaaaa, ne!" The girl complained, throwing her hands to her sides, "You'd think just one girl, ONE GIRL, from this snobby school would be a yaoi fan girl!" She emphasized holding one finger in the air. Jin held a hand to his lips, giggling quietly to himself as the others stared at her dumbfounded. He was starting to like this courageous girl, she had a lot of guts to be screaming at the richest, most spoiled brats in all of Japan.
"But NOOOOOOO! Yaoi wa wazuri!! Yaoi ga daikerai desu!" (~ Yaoi's bad! I HATE yaoi!) The girl mimicked standing on one of her legs to portray her fellow ditzy snobs. Jin was holding back on his laughter, trying so hard not to burst out laughing. This girl was a riot and Jin began to wish he could be like her, to have the ability to say what you feel. The Japanese kept his eyes on her, amazed by everything she was doing.
"And not to mention all the bishounen I've met were ASSHOLES!!" The girl roared with frustration and growled at her sneering classmates.
"FINE!! You just wait and see!! I WILL FIND A YAOI FANGIRL HERE! OR FANBOY!! Whatever one I find first!" She declared, standing proudly with her hands on her waist. Jin was fascinated with this new girl and a little envious too. He admired her undying spirit and began to wish he were like that. Once Jin pulled his head out of the clouds, he realized that the girl was watching him. The Japanese's eyes wandered around the school as if was saying "Are you… looking at me?"
Did she me laughing?, the Japanese wondered, the girl still had kept her eyes locked on him, not moving. In a flash, the girl ran storming up to him in a cloud of dust and screeched to a halt right dead in front of him that it sent him toppling backwards against the stairs. Before the Japanese could even sit up, the girl was leaning over him with a pen and notebook in hand.
"DOMOOUUU!!!" (HELLOOO!!!) The girl cried cheerfully. Jin just stared at her and right when he was going to say something, she started up again.
"Onamae desu ka?! Nani-sai ka? Umare ka? Nan-shumi ka?! Gokyoudakoibitopetoka?!" (What's your name!? Age? Birthday? Hobbies?! Siblings,girlfriends,pets?!) The girl asked eagerly, running her words together while scribbling madly on her notebook. The Japanese blinked a few times, not knowing what to say.
"What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue?" The girl said with a cat girl, sticking out her tongue.
"Sort of…" Jin replied, still unsure of what emotion he was feeling.
"You-sa speak-a English?" The happy girl asked curiously, tilting her head. Jin nodded
"WOWWW!!" She squealed with joy, shooting a hand out right in front of the Japanese's face.
"I'm Ling, Ling Xiaoyu!" The girl said with a bright smile.
"I'm Kazama," The Japanese replied, ready to shake her hand… that was until she yanked it back before he could do that.
"Maaaa, ne!" She cried, standing at her full height and placing her hands on her hips, "What is it with you Japanese and saying your last name first?" The girl let out a low growl and leaned back over the Japanese.
"Come on! You don't have to be so informal!" Ling explained with a grin, holding her hand out again. Jin glanced at her hand then at the smiling girl and slowly held out his hand
"It's… Jin." The Japanese, opening up a part of himself.
"Jin? Like the drink?" Ling said with a raised eyebrow.
"No…" Jin said, confused by what she meant.
"Well, okay, strange parents, but I'm glad to meet you!" The girl took his hand and shook it happily. Jin couldn't help, but smile, she was just bubbling over with joy and it was easy to catch. Suddenly, the girl yanked the Japanese up to his feet one strong pull. Jin stood staring at the brute strength of this Chinese girl. Just then, Jin saw a black limousine from the corner of his eye and let out a sigh, there was so much more he wanted to learn about the girl… but it was going to have to wait.
"Well, I'm sorry, but I have to go." Jin said with a hint of sadness. Ling looked up at him and just grinned.
"All right, I'll see tomorrow you, ne?" She had no worries about it, even though it had been a while since she was able to connect to someone because she knew there was a tomorrow. Jin could sense that from her and it made him feel very light.
"Tomorrow then." Jin smiled warmly. The girl nodded cheerfully in reply and gave a little wave. With a happy view of tomorrow, Jin was finally able to walk towards the sleek car. However, he still couldn't shake that feeling. He was dying to know more about her and blinked when his mind came up with a brilliant notion. The Japanese stopped in his tracks and slightly turned to face the girl.
"Actually…" Jin asked hesitantly, summoned all the strength in his body to finish the remaining words, "…Do you need a ride home?" Silence rang between the two for a moment.
"YEAH!!" The girl screamed with joy and scurried quickly next to him like a happy bunny. Jin laughed happily and continued to walk to the car with the perky rabbit at his side. As they got closer and closer to the car, Jin noticed all the girls giving Ling cruel looks. The Japanese looked to Ling and knew she was aware of it. He exhaled a sigh, he didn't even think about what his fan girls would do to the poor girl just because he gave her his attention.
Before he could even give thought to the situation, he felt the girl wrap her hands around his arm. He glanced down at the girl as she slipped her fingers into his and saw her sticking her tongue out at all the staring audience. The Japanese's doubts were lifted in an instant, she never ceased to amaze him. They both ignored the scrutiny of their peers as they marched joyously towards the car and nothing made them happier then getting into the black vehicle, their holy ground. As the car drove away, Jin and Ling settled down in their seats across from each other. When they were finally comfortable, Jin grew a smile, anxiously waiting for this moment, but he had no idea where to start. After a while, he finally decided to let the questions flow naturally.
"So, do you like going to school here?" Jin paused for a moment, sarcastically thinking that was a great place to begin. He was already wanted to groan in his failure, but Ling humored him.
"Um, let me think about it…" The girl sat for a moment, holding her hand to her chin before giving her final answer, "NOOOO!" Jin let out a soft chuckle and tenderly closed his eyes.
"It's a bit difficult to become acquainted with it." The Japanese explained, placing his hands properly on his lap.
"Difficult? I don't think so! The people here are vultures I tell you!! Vultures!" Ling exclaimed, holding her hands in mid air. Jin couldn't help but laugh again.
"You're very whimsical." The Japanese said with dainty, delicate laugh. Jin blinked at the words that just came from his mouth, clearing his face of any expression. He hadn't made a slip like that in a while, he considered lucky that he didn't add a feminine tone to his laugh. Ling stared at the Japanese, slightly confused by the sudden change of his words, but wiped it away with a slight smirk.
"So… do you have a girlfriend?" The girl asked coyly. Jin froze at those words.
"What?" The Japanese didn't know if she was hitting on him or something else.
"OR a boyfriend?" She added with a big grin. Jin knew it definitely was something else now.
"WHAT!?" Jin cried, he was completely defenseless for this conversation. Suddenly, the girl's attention turned to something outside. Her eyes grew wide in realization and scrambled towards the driver.
"STOP THE CAAAARRRR!!!" Ling screamed into the driver's ear. In less than a second, the limousine screeched its tires to a stop, sending the girl tumbling around inside. The girl regained her senses quickly and darted out of the car, leaving a puzzled Jin. She returned a few seconds lately.
"Sorry! I'll be right back!" She explained and disappeared, running down the driveway of a shop. Jin sat speechless for a moment, not knowing what to think of the situation. He glanced after the skipping girl to see her dash into the arms of a handsome man. Jin's breath escaped him when he laid eyes on the mysterious being. His eyes gazed over the Korean time and time again, memorizing every curve and feature this man had to offer. The Japanese watched a tender smile grow on his affection's face, making him even more beautiful. His gentle expressions, pleasant emotions made the Japanese's body ache with a yearning.
Jin gently placed his hand on the window, brushing his fingers against the surface that showed him the beautiful Korean. His breathing become heavy and his heart pounded angrily against his chest, making it seem like he was short on breath. He slowly stroked the image of this heavenly creature and inside, he felt himself cry. The suffering started to become too great for his soul and mind to bare. He couldn't hide himself, but why did he keep trying to? His hand clenched on the glass, pressing against it with every restraint he was placing upon himself… Because… he believed no matter how hard he tried, he would be the one to be hurt in the end. He began to hear his grandfather's cold words run through his mind, words of denial, pain, and reality.
"Why…?" The Japanese asked, controlling his tears. His gaze retreated to the Korean once more as Ling returned to the limousine. Jin sighed as he pulled himself together, taking the bits and pieces of his real self and locking them away. But as the Japanese began to shroud the real Jin into darkness, his eyes wouldn't leave the Korean and Jin savored those last few moments as Ling stepped closer to the car. However, even when he knew he shouldn't be glancing anymore at the Korean, he couldn't force him to look away. The Japanese exhaled a long breath as the girl entered the car.
Just a little longer… the Japanese cried in his soul, before tearing his gaze away. In that instant his eyes left the Korean, his heart let out a chaotic scream. The Japanese turned back to the girl, nearly lifeless… he knew he was going to have to come up with some sort of explanation. But when the Japanese glanced up at the girl, she was in her own world.
"Ohhhh, Hwoarang-chan!" The girl said fleetingly with stars in her eyes.
"Hwoa... rang?" The Japanese felt his heart skip a beat at that simple word.
"Oh, yes! He's so great!! He saved me and he's knows English, Japanese, Korean!! And not too mention he looks so hot in those tight, leather pants!!" The girl tittered to herself, but the Japanese found it hard to listen to her words as he stared in a trance at the Korean. His mind was still whispering the Korean's name over and over.
"Is that so…" Jin said softly, not really paying attention to the conversation. Ling raised a curious eyebrow then looked at her Korean friend.
"Maybe I should introduce you to him." Ling said with an evil grin. … Instant pepper red. The Japanese felt his cheeks burn with a flush. He quickly turned to the girl with a slight flustered look.
"Tha-That's really not necessary." The Japanese tried to say without stammering, turning redder. The girl appeared in a flash between the Japanese legs and slammed her palms into his thighs.
"I KNEW IT!! I KNEW YOU WERE GAY!!!" The girl cried overjoyed, pulling the Japanese into a tight hug.
"Wh-WHAT?!" Jin whined, nearly whimpering, but the girl was too overwhelmed to notice.
"Finally, after all these years!! I FINALLY HAVE A GAY-DAR!!" Ling exclaimed as she squeezed Jin in excitement. When she finally released the Japanese from her violent hug, he clasped his hands over his face in embarrassment. Ling tried to peek around his fingers to get a look of the Japanese, but he just shied away. The girl just smiled happily at the bashful Japanese.
"You're really cute that way." Ling said softly in a gentle voice. The Japanese peered from behind his fingers curiously and glimpsed up at the sudden fragile girl.
"Huh?" The Japanese asked as his hands drifted away from his face.
"You look better shy and feminine … rather than the friendly, lonely guy at school." The girl said, looking warmly into his eyes. Jin could hear those words as if they were speaking to depths of his heart and shyly glanced back to the Korean. However, he found himself unconsciously looking back to Ling and she could see it in his eyes, looking for some sort of permission. Ling smiled warmly and closed her eyes as she gave a simple, kindred nod. Jin's heart burst into tears. He quickly gazed at the Korean once again and felt a sense of peace overcome him more and more while he stared lovingly, glancing over the Korean blissfully, feeling nothing but love and freedom.
"… You would be yume." Ling added.
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