The Lion's Tears
Chapter 2 - Shelter From The Nightmares
The following days after Squall's little 'episode' seemed to go ignored until Zell heard screaming from the room next to his at two in the morning.
Zell rushed over to his friends room, he yanked the door open (which just happened to be unlocked, as part of Balamb Garden regulations) and found Squall thrashing in his bed, his eyes tightly closed, sweat mixed with tears streaming down his pale face. Zell knelt down beside the boy and gently shook his shoulders to wake him from his nightmare.
Squall sat up sharply, a scream piercing the silent room. His eyes franticly searching the room. After a few shaking breaths he seemed to realize he was still in his room, as his shoulders slumped forward and his head fell into the palms of his sweaty hands. Zell had sat there quietly waiting for his friend to calm down until he finally placed a hand on the brunettes back, which tensed as though afraid of human contact.
Squall looked up, meeting the caring face of Zell as his breathing gradually slowed.
"Zell... Why are you here?" Squall's face reddened slightly assuming his friend had witnessed yet another one of his break downs.
"I heard ya screaming, and when I came over here to see if ya were okay or not it looked like ya were having a nightmare.." Zell trailed off silently asking what the nightmare had been about. Squall looked down embarrassed, his voice barely audible as he explained what the dream had been about.
"I dreamt... that I.. cut myself so much that I couldn't stop bleeding and I.. died. I know its weird 'cause usually if someone cuts themselves then they want to die right? But its not like that... I just don't know what to do anymore, and this just seems like the most logical way out....
"anyway, when I died a found out that everyone ended up talking about me in past tense, like I had always feared. But after awhile... they just forgot.. If someone brought up my name they were like, 'Squall who?' and when they did remember they remembered me for the wrong reasons, 'oh you mean the boy who crashed the garden into F.H?' and 'The boy who killed him self?' I never wanted to seem like I cared about what people thought about me, but in truth I think I cared more then anyone else.
" I cared so much I ended up hurting myself more and more each day. When someone would call me one of Seifer's stupid nicknames... Lionheartless, puberty boy.. I know its immature, but I just can't help worrying of what people think of me.. I don't want to, but I can't help it. And these nightmares.. they seem to just get worse and worse. Piling up on each other until I wake up screaming, sometimes I can manage to quiet my screams by stuffing my head into the pillow... or just by cutting myself. That's why I always have a knife by my bed incase I wake up.. screaming."
Zell silently got up onto the bed with Squall and put his arms around the boy, as though it was common to do such a thing.
"Where is it?" He asked the scared boy searching the room with his eyes, trying to find a silver glint that would aid in his findings.
"The blade? Where is the knife that ya keep by your bed?" There was a long moment of silence until Squall answered.
"Its in the second drawer, underneath the papers." He answered reluctantly.
Zell eased his left arm to the side of the bed, trying not to jostle the boy out of his embrace. He clumsily opened the drawer, shuffling lose paper around until he held what he was looking for. He didn't bother closing the drawer as he put the large but closed pocket knife into his sock, making sure it wouldn't fall out.
"Why?" Squall timidly asked as he watched the boys actions.
Zell gently pulled his friend around so he was face to face with the brunette.
"Promise me something?" His question held no room for debate.
"Anything.." Squall's eyes widened as he saw the emotions floating around in the blondes electric blue eyes. Tenderness, passion, strength.. love?
"I want you to promise me you'll never do this again. I want you to honestly say that you will stop cutting.
I want you to promise that you will come to me if any of your problems seem to high and you can't think of any other solution besides hurting your self in any way. Promise me?"
Squall was surprised as his friends voice lost his usual slang, sounding almost like he really cared what Squall was about to say. As though he would do something drastic if Squall ended up cutting himself again. And he really believed he would, even threaten his own life to make sure that Squall never hurt himself again. And he never would if it ended up making Zell happy, he would do anything to see the blonde smile again.
"I promise." Zell's smile brightened up the room as though the sun had already come up from the horizon, the blonde hugged his friend till Squall couldn't breath any more. Zell laughed, a deep booming laugh that made even Squall's mouth twitch with happiness.
"No one is ever gonna hurt ya again, not if I can help it. And I'll make damn well sure that ya keep your promise too." Zell smiled again as Squall held onto him like a life line, both boys not wanting to let go quietly sat there as the sun peeked up from beneath the forest line, casting the room in a strange candle like glow. They both shut their eyes, their breathing almost matched as each of them fell into a peaceful sleep, both smiling as dreams of the other plagued their minds.
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