Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters but I do own the Seiffy-kun doll! *hugs her dollie*
Only in My Dreams
By Elise Maxwell
I leaned on the wall near the door of the cafeteria. Seifer and I watched as Irvine asked everyone at his table questions. It was just he, Selphie, Quistis and Zell. Rinoa had left earlier, complaining of a headache. I could understand why…
“What’s he doing?” Seifer asked.
“He’s asking them about your death. He does that about a week after we go see your grave,” I explained. “Irvine became really involved in psychology after you left. He wanted to know why people grieve.”
“He knows. He mourns anyway. It’s his way of saying he doesn’t care what science says about how the brain works and how to fix it, but he wants to remember you and who you’d been to him.”
Seifer nodded and followed me as I walked to the table.
“Hi Squall!” Selphie grinned.
“Squall.” Quistis nodded, as did Zell.
“Yo,” Irvine greeted the young man. “So year number three, what do you miss most about Seifer?”
“They have to start with me.” I said for Seifer’s sake, but rolled my eyes for effect on the others. I pondered for a moment, trying to come up with something memorable. “The way he made love. Hyne was he good in bed!”
Everyone burst out laughing, including the ghost.
Irvine recovered first. “Man, you always have the most creative replies.”
“I learned it from him.” I said as I sat at the table.
“I miss his little quips, even if most of them were about me.” Selphie smiled thoughtfully.
Quistis smirked. “I miss that little stray hair that would never go with the rest.”
“Death sucks,” Seifer replied trying to get that piece of hair to go with the others. I kept a smile on my face but then stared blankly at Quistis when her eyes went wide at the spot where Seifer stood. She frowned and shook her head, then looked around again confused.
“You saw him!” I blurted out before I could stop myself. Maybe it was wishful thinking.
The blonde woman put a hand on her face. “Maybe.”
“I miss Seifer’s voice. It’s so quiet without him.” Zell leaned back in his seat, looking as if he was reminiscing, not listening to the others.
“Are you okay Quisty?” Selphie asked.
She nodded and scoffed. “I think I’m going nuts.”
“Do you think it’s catching?!” Selphie grinned.
“You already are crazy,” the ghost and I said together.
Selphie giggled. “Aw, how’d you know?”
I saw Quistis flinch.
“She can see me, and hear me a little,” Seifer whispered to me.
“What about you Irvine?” Quistis asked, trying to distract herself.
Irvine smiled. “I still miss our philosophical conversations.”
“Yeah, you guys did tend to sit down in Squall’s room and talk for hours on end.” Zell grinned.
“I usually fell asleep.” I rolled my eyes.
Quistis giggled. “I remember the first time we thought he’d died, while we were at Galbadia Garden. Remember? You got angry, saying that you didn’t want anyone talking about you in the past tense.”
I nodded as Seifer smirked. “But look where it got me. People just talk about what a hero I WAS in after we defeated Ultemicia.” I shrugged.
They all nodded and sat silent for a moment.
“You all missed me back then? Even after what I did?” Seifer mused aloud.
“Of course,” Quistis replied involuntarily then froze.
“What?” Selphie asked.
“Uh, nothing,” she answered shakily. “I was just thinking.”
I glanced at Seifer then back at Quistis. “Well, I need to be going.” I stood and waved. Everyone replied his or her goodbyes and I began to walk toward the door, Seifer trailing me.
“Squall!” Quistis yelled to me as I walked out the door. I turned to let her catch up. “Can I talk to you?”
“Sure.” I smiled hearing Seifer cough amused. “You room or mine?”
“Mine,” she answered and I followed her with a feeling of victory.
Quistis put a hand to her head. It looked like she had a headache and this conversation wasn’t helping. For the last 45 minutes, I had been trying to convince her that Seifer was really there, and finally, she was starting to break. She especially believed us when we started conversing and replied to one of Seifer’s little comments. I happened to be quite amused by the comment too.
“I told you guys I was here but NO, you don’t even believe your commander.” Seifer crossed his arms and huffed.
Quistis narrowed her eyes. “Do you think it was a picnic seeing you die?!” She stood angrily. “We suffered too you stupid jerk! How did you think we’d react if you came back? It’s only natural that we think we’re crazy!”
In the years that everyone had known Quistis, she’d never shown as much emotion as she did in those 10 seconds that she let her barriers crumble. I started to feel a bit regretful.
“I’m sorry.” Seifer looked hurt. “I didn’t know you all felt so strongly…” He bit his lip.
Quistis covered her face with her hands and sat back down on her couch to compose herself. I’m sure she heard me stand and whisper to Seifer. “We all suffered, Seifer,” she muttered in reply. “Squall suffered the most. He was your best friend.”
I turned to Quistis, Seifer behind me. She smiled. “He almost looks real, like you two came to ask me to hang out it Balamb City. He’s just so transparent…” Tears poured down her face as we watched her break down.
“Quisty…” My mouth worked to say something more, but I couldn’t.
Quistis bit her lip, trying not to cry anymore, but it didn’t work. She put her head in her hands again and sobbed, reliving the death of one of her best friends.
I closed my eyes and faced the floor, trying not to do what she was doing. Seifer must have sensed my pain and put his arms around my shoulders. The feeling entered my body again; tingling enveloped my body, making me gasp quietly. I looked up, and then relaxed to cherish the feeling.
Quistis looked up when I gasped and I caught her staring at the odd sight. It must have been weird to see her two best guy friends acting that way, but for some reason, she looked like she expected it. She smiled softly through her tears, and I watched as she realized we were happy with one another, and that Seifer really was with us.
When Seifer let his arms drop, she completely believed he was there. “You’re real.” She gazed at us happily.
“Quis,” Seifer kneeled in front of her and put a hand to her cheek. He eyes opened wide to the feeling that emanated from her cheek. “Please, get Squall off the meds and out of counseling.”
She nodded and looked sadly at the blonde man who could be her twin. “I just wish… that I could hug you.”
Seifer looked down and closed his eyes. “Don’t I know it…”
Quistis frowned and looked at me. I glanced at her as her mouth formed an ‘oh’ and she silently wished us luck with a smile. “I’ll make sure he gets to spend as much time with you as possible.” She paused. “But could I talk to him alone for a few minutes? No listening in,” she teased.
Seifer nodded. “I want to see how Rinoa’s doing anyway.” He stood and melded hands with me before waving and walking through the door.
Quistis sighed and took a few moments to calm down. I handed her a tissue and she used it. “What now?”
“Just as you said.” I knelt in front of her.
“How much time is left?”
I shook my head.
She sighed again. “Why didn’t you go?”
“I didn’t think it was important at the time!” I hissed.
“Well that’s no excuse to just…” Quistis trailed off at my glare
“Do you think I had much left to live for!?”
“What about us!? You shouldn’t have punished yourself!”
“I was being selfish, I know!” I yelled, hating myself for what I’d done.
Silence enveloped the room as Quistis glared with a fury at me. I put my head in my hands, and my fingers pulled on the untamed locks.
“We all had our ways. You cut your hair.” I glanced up as Quistis fingered the fringe of hair that ended near her chin. “I… let it happen.”
“How long,” she demanded an answer.
I stayed silent for a while. “Two months. Maybe less.” A shaky sigh escaped my lips and I went on. “Dr. Kadowaki said the stress I’d been enduring might shorten the time.”
“I hope Rinoa will be okay.”
“She’ll be fine. She’s pregnant.” I smiled.
“What?!” Quistis gaped at the brunette.
“The headache,” I hinted. “She was so happy when she found out it was a boy. Julia was ecstatic. Zell gloated to me.”
“How did I miss this?”
“You were in Esthar at the time.” I took a moment to think. “The week before last?”
She nodded. “You’re right. I guess everyone assumed I knew.” She shrugged.
I smiled. “I figure they plan to name him Seifer or Squall.”
Quistis chuckled. “I wouldn’t be surprised.” She frowned. “God, it’s been three years and we’re still acting like children.”
“You noticed too?” I laughed. “It’s like this for about a week though, after we visit the grave. Then everything seems to go back to normal. I go back to therapy as usual…” I chewed on my lip.
“That’s about how it happens,” she agreed.
“Should I keep going?”
Quistis shrugged. “I suppose you can talk to him from now on. It doesn’t matter to me hon.” She smiled softly.
I stood and beckoned her up. She stood and we hugged tightly. It felt good.
“I’ll be in my room,” I told her.
She nodded and waved me out. Once the door was closed I heard as she flopped back onto the couch. “Next up on Oprah, Friends who see ghosts and convince you that you see them too!”
I grinned and strolled away.
* * *
At least someone believes him now ^_^
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