Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters but I do own the Seiffy-kun doll! *hugs her dollie*
I’m sure this will confuse the hell outta everyone, but I did a really short part at the end in first person and I’ve been inspired by it to write a first person POV fic. It will be very interesting too. ^_~
Only in My Dreams
By Elise Maxwell
“Well I know these wont work,” Squall said as he entered his room and threw the little bottle that the doctor had prescribed into the trashcan. He knew he would just end up feeling drugged and sick if he took them.
“Quisty might find it in there.” Seifer pointed out, sitting on the counter of the little kitchen area in Squall’s room.
“You’re probably right.” Squall pulled them out. “Are there any side effects?”
Seifer snickered. “Man, you’re the same as when…”
“When you were alive? Yeah, only difference is you're dead… and I’m alone.” Squall sighed and distracted himself by reading the label.
Seifer looked guilty. “I didn’t mean to.”
“I know, it’s just…” Squall looked at him with a pained look. “It wasn’t fair. Poor Julia. She’s had to live with her mother’s grief.”
“Life’s never fair. Hell, death isn’t either,” Seifer replied, an ache in his eyes illustrated his feelings
“You’re here. They must have been fair somewhere.” Squall opened the little bottle and poured two caplets out before closing it again and tossing it through Seifer and into a cup on the counter near the corner of the wall.
“Are you really going to take those?” the flickering Seifer asked as Squall leaned with his back to the counter beside him. He peered over the brunette’s shoulder and looked at the little yellow pills. “Nuprin. Little, yellow, different.”
Squall chuckled. “Will you go away if I do?”
“Ditto,” the brunette replied with a smirk and tossed them in the sink. He turned on the water to let it run and dissolve the pills.
“So, why did you ignore me for so long? I mean, I must have been an asshole or something.” Seifer leaned on the wall. As he did so Squall cocked his skull at him. “What?”
“Won’t you go through that wall?”
“I’m sitting on the counter aren’t I?” Seifer smirked as his former partner turned red. “Besides, I don’t rule what ghosts can and can’t touch.” He paused. “Back to question at hand…”
“How long have you been here? WHY are you here?” Squall turned and frowned at him. The look on his face was of hurt and his eyes looked watery.
“I… I wanted to see you. What’s the matter?”
“What’s the matter?!” Squall hissed angrily. “I lost the best friend I ever had and I’m the only one who can see of even hear you for that fucking matter! What am I supposed to do? Tell everyone!? They already think I’m going through some post traumatic stress syndrome, and I’m starting to believe them.” He closed his eyes and shook his head trying to clear it.
Seifer looked quite dejected by that statement. “You don’t want me here?”
The brunette fell onto the couch, his head in his hands. “I don’t know. Hyne, Seifer it’s been three years. Appear to me after three years?” This was all too much for him to take.
“It’s a magic number? I don’t know! Look, I had no idea how much time had passed Squall! How was I supposed to know I didn’t die yesterday or even ten years ago!?”
“Life has been hell. I hope death is heaven.” Squall said still looking down, his voice cracking a bit.
“I’m glad to see you lasted this long.” The blonde smiled sympathetically, but it faded when he saw drops falling from behind Squall’s hair. “Squall…” He hopped off of the counter to put a hand near Squall’s cheek.
Squall’s eyes opened in shock and he looked up at Seifer. The feeling of his hand in Squall’s cheek was exhilarating. Tingles ran through his veins, emanating from that one spot. He closed his eyes and reveled in the feeling. When Seifer took his hand away, he felt at a loss and looked at the apparition.
“You…. you’re really here,” he said, then paused. “Where’s your scar?” He reached up to touch Seifer’s forehead and as he did so, Seifer flickered and became completely visible, no longer wavering or blinking in and out. The scar also resided on his forehead again.
Seifer had a shocked look on his face, trying to register what had just happened. “That felt… odd.”
“S-same here.” The brunette put a hand to his own scar, which was tingling, but the feeling was already fading.
“Oh Hyne, Squall I didn’t want to leave.” The green-eyed ghost looked like he would cry if he could.
“I just wish…” Squall reached a hand out to let it feel along where Seifer’s cheek and chin would be. The tingling invaded his hand and he sighed at the feeling. “I just wish they would believe me.”
“I can stay here,” the blonde suggested.
“What would you do all day?”
“I didn’t know ghosts slept.”
This made Seifer’s brow crease in thought. Squall smirked and let his hand drop “We’re acting just the same. It’s as if you never left.” He caught Seifer’s eye. “Did you really mean what you said?”
Seifer knew exactly what he was talking about. Especially when he saw the brunette finger the chain resting on his pale neck. “You took it. I didn’t get to give it to you.”
“I had a feeling…” Squall toyed with the silver. He chuckled for a moment. “So you really love me?”
Seifer smiled. “Of course.” He looked down. “I just cant believe that you, well, feel the same.” He peeked back up at Squall.
The brunette found his nails interesting. “I always did. I mean, I looked up to you for so long, but you were always such a bully.”
“Yeah, well you can take the kid outta the orphanage but you can’t take the orphan outta the kid.” Seifer chuckled. It sounded so magical and melodic. Squall wanted to hear it forever, die listening to it.
He smiled. “I mean, until the whole Ultimecia thing happened. I wanted to get you out of her control. I never thought of defeating her as saving you until you thanked me that day after you came back to the garden. I never knew I saved you from her control.” Squall scoffed. “Seems kinda sappy now that I think about it.”
Seifer laughed wholeheartedly. The sound made Squall want to melt. The blonde must have noticed this and stopped to stare and the amazed man. “I want to hold you so bad.” He stood and walked over to the counter. “This is so unfair.”
The brunette looked sadly at the floor. “No one ever said life was fair.”
“So what do we do?” Squall asked.
“Go on like normal. Or at least you should.” The blonde turned back. “I just wish I could touch you.”
“The feeling you give me now is like a thousand.”
Seifer smirked. “Now that’s really sappy.”
“It’s true.” Squall stood. “Why don’t you follow me around? Just try not to make the comments you used to. I might burst out laughing and scare them all even more.”
Seifer pouted. “Fine.”
Squall contemplated as he watched Zell’s students practice in the training gym. The teens seemed to be fine in their sparring activities and Zell shouted out criticisms to certain students that Squall seemed to agree with. He frowned when Seifer stopped next to one girl and pointed at her. The brunette gave a slight shake of head, as if to say, ‘what?’
“She keeps glancing at that boy over there,” Seifer replied and pointed at a tall blonde boy not 7 feet in front and to the left of the girl. Squall walked around the cadets and noticed what Seifer was talking about. He glanced at Zell and nodded at the young girl.
“Saskia!” Zell barked and her opponent, a friend, caught the young lady off guard, making her fall to the ground. “Keep your eyes on Aili!” Aili helped a blushing Saskia up and they started to spar again.
Seifer made a blowjob motion and Squall covered his mouth, trying not to laugh.
“Well its probably true!” Seifer protested as Zell walked over to the snickering Squall.
“The kids do that often enough.” Zell smiled. “What’s so funny?”
“Nothing,” Squall replied, regaining his composure. “It’s just kinda cute…”
“I haven’t seen you laugh since…” Zell trailed off and Seifer looked over.
“Since I/he died,” the two men said in chorus, but only one could be heard.
Zell sighed. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s alright,” Squall told him.
Seifer strolled over and looked at Zell. “He thinks it’s his fault.”
“Everyone does,” Squall replied involuntarily.
“What?” Zell asked.
“I mean everyone does apologize to me. Why? Like I’m the only one who lost him.” Squall looked sympathetically at the spiky blonde. “It wasn’t your fault, or Rinoa’s. He chose.”
Zell looked at the marble floor and scratched his head. “I know.” He sighed. “Even though he made fun of me when we were kids, in those two years, we became friends, and you know what? I have no regrets. Sure, I wish we could have hung out more and got to know each other, but if we hadn’t become friends, I would really have regretted it.”
Squall and Seifer both smiled and the blonde put a hand to Zell’s shoulder.
The spiky blonde shivered and grinned. “Did they turn on the air conditioning?”
Squall chuckled but glanced concerned at the tall blonde.
“Guess I really am a ghost.” Seifer stared at the mostly opaque hand.
Zell turned to his class as the bell rang. “Alright! Same time tomorrow!” he shouted and nodded a goodbye to the brunette.
“Wow, I didn’t know.” Seifer stared after the retreating man.
“You didn’t know a lot about everyone.” Squall looked at the tall apparition. “Follow me.” The shorter man led the ghost out of the gym and on to familiar faces.
He was really here. I couldn’t believe it. Even though he’d proven it before, the fact that Zell felt cold when Seifer touched him made it true to me.
I punched in the code to my room as Seifer walked right through the door. I rolled my eyes and sighed before hitting the enter key and found him waiting in the middle of the room for me. I smirked, carrying Hyperion to its case.
“I can’t believe you use it.” Seifer referred to the dark blade.
I nodded. “I started using it about a month after you died. Everyone thought it was like a sign of respect toward you. I just wanted to keep your memory with me.” I set the blade in the case and closed it with a sigh. “I thought I’d have to use it today, but I guess I was wrong.”
Seifer came up behind me and put his arms around my shoulders. I gasped, but relaxed and reveled in the feeling it gave me. Tingles ran through my body, eminating from my chest. It was the most enchanting feeling in the world. I never wanted it to stop.
When he let go, I felt so empty, but satisfied. Happy. I turned and looked into his sea green eyes. They looked so sad. It must hurt, not being able to touch anyone. I looked away. They looked so…
“Come on. Let’s go see everyone.”
* * *
Ya I know it’s short, but I didn’t know where to split up what I’d typed so live wit it ^_~ I got back to typing now.
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