Object of My Lust
'I'll see you tomorrow, my ass,' I thought, staring angrily at Squall's office door. Is it so hard to say, 'No, I won't be seeing you' or 'I'm going to be avoiding you tomorrow' or even 'Seifer, I'm pissed about not coming yesterday'?
What the hell is Squall's problem, anyway? Even I don't lie to people - bend the truth, maybe - but not lie. If he didn't want to see me, he should have said so. That way, I wouldn't be sitting outside his office, again. I would've been in there long before he even got there.
It's all Rinoa's fault.
Why did Squall have to stay with her? I know she's a sweet girl, but their personalities clash. I don't know how they've been able to last this long. And judging by Squall's blowjob last night, I'm assuming he's been with other guys before.
Jealousy fluttered through me at the thought of Squall being with other guys, but I quickly pushed it aside and summed it up to: I wanted to be the first one to claim him. What other reason could it be? Marking my territory is a top priority on my list of 'Things To Do' - quite literally.
I looked up from my chair and came face-to-face with Squall's petite girlfriend. She was bent forward with her hands clasped behind her back, looking at me with her soft-brown eyes.
"Have you seen Squall?" she asked. "He's not in his dorm room, and I'm almost certain he's not in his office."
Rinoa held up a spare key and pointed towards Squall's closed-office-doors. "I tried knocking earlier this morning, but no one answered," she said, "I'm a little hesitant to use this key. . ."
I snatched the key from Rinoa's hand and stood from the chair.
"Seifer, wait!" she cried as I marched to the door. I ignored her and shoved the key into the lock, twisting the doorknob once there was an audible 'click'.
The room was plunged in darkness; all the curtains were drawn, allowing no light to escape. I could hear Rinoa enter the room behind me, and then the lights flickered on, brightening the room in orange-light.
Squall was seated in his chair with his head and arms resting on the desk, sleeping. Papers were scattered beneath his face, along with pens and highlighters. His chocolate-colored hair hung around his face, which was tilted to the side, resting against his cheek.
"He's so adorable," Rinoa murmured from beside me.
I scowled. "I'd like to see how 'adorable' he looks once he has a red mark on his face from sleeping on his arms."
"You're so moody, Seifer," Rinoa said before she approached Squall, placing a small hand on his back, gently coaxing him awake.
It made me sick. And for a reason that was beyond me, I was angry.
"Wake up, puberty boy!" I shouted in my annoyance.
Rinoa glared at me when Squall jolted off the desk, blinking open bloodshot eyes.
Shit, how long did he stay up last night?
It took a moment for Squall to focus his eyes, but after a minute he began to recognize his surroundings.
Then he froze when he realized Rinoa and I were in the room.
"I was looking for you," Rinoa said quietly, "Zell and I are going into town and we wanted to know if you wanted to come along."
Squall winced when Rinoa wrapped her arms around his shoulders. I could sense, rather than see, his discomfort. Rinoa didn't seem to notice, though. Maybe it was because Squall's back was facing her. Then again, I couldn't see the discomfort on his face; I could just sense it.
"I. . . I can't," Squall swallowed. "I have a lot of paperwork that hasn't been completed yet."
Rinoa sighed. "You always have to do paperwork!"
"I'm sorry," Squall said quietly. I could see the tension in his shoulders and was surprised that Rinoa hadn't taken notice of it yet.
"I'm sure you can walk into town without holding Squall's hand, princess," I said sarcastically.
Squall narrowed his eyes at me, warningly.
"Bite me, Seifer," Rinoa said with a fake smile.
"No thanks, sugar, I already did that."
"Are you sure? I didn't have to go to the doctor for a rabies shot."
Rinoa had a witty tongue, despite what others may have thought. It was one reason why I still cared for her. . .
But right now, she was interfering with my target. While I know that Rinoa laid claim on him first, I decided that I was doing them a favor by breaking them up. Rinoa couldn't fulfill Squall's needs, and Squall couldn't fulfill Rinoa's needs. It was only a matter of time before they figured it out.
"Shut up," Squall growled once I opened my mouth to retort.
Rinoa stuck her tongue out at me, before planting a kiss on Squall's cheek.
"I'll see you later, sweetie," she said.
Squall offered her a soft smile and we both watched as she bounced out of the room - but before she left, she gave me a brief hug, and then she flipped me off with a friendly smile.
"I think she's been hanging out with Selphie too much," I told Squall once Rinoa closed his office doors.
Squall didn't say anything as he started to massage his left shoulder, using his hand to squeeze the tight muscles.
"You stayed here all night?" I asked as I approached his desk. I looked over the papers that were scattered everywhere, noting that there were hundreds, all needing his signature.
Squall stopped massaging and blinked at me with that. . . expression, again - the one that made him look surprised and confused. I said nothing as he continued to stare at me, waiting for him to answer the question.
". . . I have to bring these papers in by four o'clock," he said, though he still continued to study me.
I looked at the silver watch on my wrist, noting that it was a little past two o'clock.
"You're not going to finish it in time," I told him.
"I know." Squall looked down at his desk and started to rearrange the papers, hoping to get it into some kind of order. His eyes were completely blood-shot and despite myself, I felt sorry for him. I was about to offer my help, but then I thought of a better plan.
"I'll help you sign the papers if you go out with me tonight," I said, "You're signature isn't hard to forge."
"I can do it myself," came Squall's immediate answer. I doubted he even thought about it.
"No, you can't," I said, "There's no way you can sign all of these," I picked up handfuls of paper and threw them on his desk, "by four o'clock. And if they're not done, you don't fulfill your duty - even if it's a duty you never asked for, you still have to do it, right?"
Again, he gave me that look.
"What?" I snapped, becoming irritated.
". . . Nothing," Squall said quietly. And much to my surprise, he motioned for me to sit down in the chair across from him.
"Is that a 'yes'?" I asked with a smirk.
Squall scowled and offered me no reply.
In Squall-language, that was a 'yes'.
I picked up a pen and grabbed several papers. After stealing a glance at Squall's messy signature, I began scribbling down his name wherever I found an 'X' and a line.
An hour later, I dropped my pen on the desk to rest my hand. Squall continued to skim through the papers, signing them all as quickly as possible. I sucked in a deep breath and leaned back against the chair, admiring the way Squall's dark hair fell across his eyes, obscuring his face. He had both arms on the table, practically lying against it as he wrote. I could tell he was still exhausted. On more than one occasion, he yawned and rubbed his tired eyes.
"How can you do this shit?" I said.
Squall looked up for a brief moment.
I blinked when I noticed his eyes were watering.
"Uh," I shifted uncomfortably in my chair, "Did you get something in your eye?"
A tear slid down Squall's pale cheek.
I momentarily panicked, not knowing what to do. Why the hell was he crying? And why the hell was he crying in front of me? Doesn't he know that it's an unwritten rule not to cry in front of another guy?
Through his tear-filled eyes, Squall glared at me.
"I'm not crying," he growled, "My eyes are burning."
"From what?" I asked in disbelief.
"These papers," he answered.
"My eyes aren't stinging. . ."
Squall sighed and rubbed at his eyes, furiously. Then he opened one of his drawers and pulled out a bottle of Visine.
I watched as he poured several droplets into his eyes, not knowing whether or not to believe him.
"Maybe you should get glasses," I suggested. Then I kicked myself in the ass again for sounding concerned. It didn't matter if Squall was really crying. After all, it wasn't my problem to begin with. "It might help," I added.
'Dumbass!' I cursed mentally. It seemed like my brain was unable to keep up with my mouth. And Squall gave me that look again! I'm beginning to hate that look!
"I have reading glasses in my room." His voice was soft and full of disbelief.
I shrugged it off.
"I'll grab them for you," I said, "I need to smoke a cigarette, anyway."
"You don't have the code to my room," he said.
"How do you know that?" I smirked at him.
I chuckled. "Give me your dorm key if you don't trust me with your access code."
I thought if I played the nice guy, Squall would give me his access code. Instead, he tossed me a set of keys, saying, "It's the brass one."
"Shit," I cursed, "Thanks for your trust in me."
I left the room and quickly headed towards the elevators.
Annoyed didn't even begin to describe the way that I felt. I wasn't annoyed with Squall, but myself. It wouldn't have bothered me if I acted concerned for personal reasons, but those words had come out of my mouth without any motivation - and it pissed me off.
Once I reached the first floor, I headed towards the Training Center, knowing that it was the only place I could smoke without getting caught. Luckily, I had Hyperion with me.
When I reached the Training Center, I pushed through the double doors on the left, taking a seat on one of the broken logs. You would think that someone would've removed the damn things by now, but I guess 'lazy' should become SeeD's middle name.
I reached into my trench-coat pocket, pulling out my beloved Marlboro Lights. If there was one true love that I held, it was my cigarettes, my REDRUM, my gunblade, and myself. Nothing else mattered to me - especially sexy SeeD Commander's who had hidden talents with their mouths.
I smoked my cigarette and thought about what I should do with Squall tonight. Fucking him was top priority, of course, but knowing Mr. Morality, he wouldn't do anything without being swooned first. And a trip to Balamb was out of the question. As much as I believed Squall and Rinoa didn't belong together, I didn't want Squall to get caught cheating on Rinoa.
I finished smoking my cigarette a few minutes later. I threw it on the ground and smashed it with my boot. Then I exited the Training Center and headed towards the dormitories.
Maybe we could spend the night in my dorm room. . .
"SEIFER!" came Fujin's familiar voice.
"What?" I turned to the side, where I had heard her call from.
"We've been lookin' everywhere for 'ya, ya know," said Raijin.
Fujin nodded her agreement and I smirked.
"I've been busy," I answered.
Fujin raised her eyebrow at me, indicating that I should elaborate.
"I'll tell you guys about it later," I said, "I have to go."
"Where 'ya goin', Seif?" asked Raijin.
"I said I'll tell you guys later," I said.
I continued down the hallways of the dormitory, finding Squall's room with ease. When I stepped inside, I wasn't surprised to find it impeccably clean. I had expected it to be larger, but it was the same size as any normal dorm room. I could only assume it was the same room he had from when he had become a SeeD - back then, there was no time for me to locate Squall's room. As soon as he had become SeeD, he was sent on that damn mission the following day.
Once I located his reading glasses on the desk, I turned and left the room, heading back towards the elevators. Normally, I would've ransacked his room, but I didn't think it would increase my chances of getting him into bed.
I returned to Squall's office within five minutes, only to find him asleep on his desk again.
I approached his desk, ready to shake him awake - but then I stopped, noticing the adorable expression on his face.
I never thought I'd use the word 'adorable' on Squall, but that was the only word to describe the peaceful expression on his face. His arms were still flat out on the desks, but now his head rested between them with his cheek pressed against the papers. His dark hair framed his porcelain features. The chocolate-colored tresses were a wild mess, but it was mess that only served to make Squall sexier.
I sat down on the chair across from Squall, and then I continued forging his signature. Maybe Squall would let me fuck him as repayment for doing all of his shitty work. . .
I managed to finish Squall's work a few minutes before four o'clock. Some irrational part of my mind refused to let me wake Squall up, so I ended up taking his paperwork to Headmaster Cid's office.
The headmaster didn't question why I was bringing him Squall's work, even though he was clearly surprised that I was doing Squall a favor.
And that irked me.
Why the hell was I doing Squall favors? And why the hell did I carry him to the couch in his office, instead of letting him sleep on that damned desk of his?
I frowned as I watched Squall's sleeping form. His chest rose steadily with each breath.
It was obvious that Squall was exhausted. He didn't even stir when I carried him to the couch.
I better get laid after all this crap I just did for him.
I decided to take Squall back to the beach tonight. No one went there past eleven, so we would be safe from Garden viewers.
I rested my head against the back of the chair, deciding to stay with Squall until eleven. There was no way in hell I was allowing him to ditch me again. He was making a habit out of it, and quite frankly, I was sick of this fucking office.
Besides, he owed me.
I must've fallen asleep while I was waiting for sleeping beauty to awaken, because I woke up to the sound of whispering voices. My mind was too cloudy to focus on the words, but I forced myself awake without opening my eyes.
Squall and Rinoa were having an argument.
"Squall, I know it takes a lot of responsibility to be commander of Garden, but you never have any time for me."
"I know; I'm sorry," Squall apologized, "I try to make time for you -"
"No, you don't," Rinoa interrupted, "You spend all your time in the office or in the Training Center. You never have any time for me!"
"Rinoa, please, be quiet," Squall said, "You're going to wake up Seifer."
"I don't care!" Rinoa cried. "This is important!"
"Lets talk outside, then."
"Why do you suddenly care about Seifer?" Rinoa demanded. "I mean, I'm glad you two are getting along, but just this morning you two hated each other."
Once again, I could sense Squall's immediate discomfort.
"I-It's nothing," Squall said with an almost undetectable shake to his voice.
Rinoa didn't seem to notice.
"Squall," Rinoa said, lowering her voice, "You know that I care for you, and I know you care for me, but what are we?"
". . . What?"
"What are we?" Rinoa repeated. "Are we together? Are we friends? Sometimes I'm not so sure."
There was a moment of hesitance before Rinoa spoke again.
"Our relationship isn't like any other couple," she said. "There's no affection involved. . ."
"Rinoa, I. . ."
"I love you, Squall," she admitted quietly, "but I'm not so sure what kind of love that is. I no longer feel the need to be held in your arms, and I know you no longer feel the need to hold me in your arms. So what does that make us?"
Silence filled the air and I started to grow irritated.
It didn't take fucking rocket science to figure it out; it was what I had been telling Squall all along. They were too different to share a romantic relationship. They would make better friends because neither one would hold the other back.
I'll take 'Fucking Idiots' for two-hundred, please.
". . . What are you saying?" Squall finally asked.
"I think you know," Rinoa answered quietly.
Is it bad that I'm hoping this conversation is going in the direction I think it's going?
"You want to leave me?"
". . . I'm sorry, Squall. I love you more than anything in the world, but I love you like a brother." Rinoa sounded genuinely sorry.
"Don't be sorry," Squall said in a soft voice. It was hollow and devoid of emotion, covering up the true pain he was undoubtedly feeling.
"It's ok, Rinoa," he assured her. "I understand."
That was a lie.
He didn't understand.
"Really?" she asked.
I opened my eyes a bit, just enough so that I could see the two of them.
Squall and Rinoa were standing near the double doors, holding each other in an affectionate hug.
I felt my blood boil at the image.
"I'll see you later, then," Rinoa said quietly.
". . . Yeah," Squall answered after a moment.
When I heard the door open and close, I sat up in my chair and opened my eyes.
Squall seemed unsurprised that I was awake.
I didn't say anything as we stared at each other.
Finally, Squall said, "Aren't you going to mock me?"
I faked a surprised expression. "Why, Squall? How could you think such a thing?!"
Squall frowned and turned his head to the side. His lower lip was thrust out in an unconscious pout, making him look sexy with his arms crossed over his chest.
"Lets go to the beach tonight," I said.
Squall shot me an incredulous look. "Seifer. . . I don't feel like doing anything. . ."
"I don't care," I said. "I finished up your damn paperwork, and I handed it in to Cid. You owe me."
I stood from the chair and crossed the room. I stopped when I stood in front of Squall, inches only separating our bodies. I reached for his chin and forced him to look at me, noticing the glittering sheen of liquid in his eyes.
This time, I was certain that they were tears.
Squall gazed up at me with an almost vulnerable look on his porcelain face. His stormy-gray eyes were shielded with his dark eyelashes, and his long bangs frayed over his forehead. I cupped my hand against the side of his face, stroking his cheekbone with my thumb. Unconsciously, he leaned against my touch, rubbing his cheek against the palm of my hand. His eyelashes fluttered as I cradled his face, and I leaned down to capture his luscious lips.
There was no hesitation in Squall's kisses. I brushed my lips against his, slowly. I felt him tremble as I grazed my mouth against his. Then his lips parted, allowing my tongue to slip into the warm cavern of his mouth.
Fire arched through me from the heat of his moist tongue. One of his hands pulled me down to deepen the kiss. I could feel his fingers stroking through my blond hair, gently massaging with a skilled touch. Despite myself, I shivered and moaned, pushing my tongue in deeper, tasting the sweetness of his mouth and devouring it.
Squall moaned and pressed his smaller frame against mine. I felt his arousal press against my thigh; a hard line that made my own cock spring to life.
I wrapped an arm around his slim waist and kissed him harder. He moaned louder and seemed to melt into my arms.
Our mouths connected, again and again, in a deep kiss that brought heat arching through our bodies.
I lowered the hand around his waist to his ass, where I cupped the firm globe and squeezed it tightly. I could feel his jaw-line moving as I held the side of his face; our kisses becoming harder, but no less gentle. I started rubbing my cock against his stomach, causing his own erection to rub against my leg. Pleasure washed through me from the friction, and Squall gasped against my mouth.
"Seifer," Squall managed to breathe against my lips, breaking the kiss.
"Hmmm?" I murmured, nuzzling my nose against his cheek, before I moved down and started suckling on his neck. I slipped a hand between our bodies and rubbed the palm of my hand against his cock.
"I. . . I can't do this r-right now," he moaned, even though he was pushing his arousal against my moving hand.
"Why not?" I mumbled as I nipped at his neck.
"I, nnnn, I just need some time," he gasped. "I-It's not right."
I lifted my face from his creamy throat and looked at him.
"It's not fair to Rinoa," he breathed.
"It didn't bother you before," I said.
Squall winced and took a step back from me. "I. . . just need to be alone right now."
Irritation didn't even begin to describe what I was feeling.
"Why?" I demanded. "To think? About what?"
Squall didn't answer and looked away from me.
"You're not doing anything wrong, Squall," I said.
"Seifer," Squall looked at me, eyes pleading for understanding, "Please. . ."
Despite myself, I felt my anger and irritation begin to drain away.
"Fine," I said, "I'll meet you at your dorm room tomorrow morning."
"Ok," Squall agreed.
"You'd better be there," I growled.
". . . I promise," he said.
I felt satisfied with his answer, so I turned on my heel and walked out the door.
At least I didn't have to worry about Rinoa anymore.
To be continued. . .
Return to Archive | next | previous