Longing for your smile

Chapter Five

By Forbidden Angelus

"So how did the mission go?" Zell asked him

"I don't want to talk about it… " Seifer replied.

It was one o'clock and time for lunch, they were at the Cafeteria. It was the day after Seifer's mission.

"Kenneth did the bastard?"

"He's always doing the bastard."

"I have to agree with you, but what I meant was…"

"I know what you meant, but this has nothing to do with Kenneth…"

"So, what is it?"

Seifer sighed.

"I was on the ground, because Kenneth pulled me and I was thinking that maybe I was all the things he and everyone else call me… But then… I don't know… A unbearable rage built up in my body… Suddenly I found my body acting like someone else was taking control of it and I was miles away… Then I hit that monster with a powerful ice spell that I've never seen…"

"Wow! Then?"

"Then what?"

"What happened next?"

"Nothing, I just walked back to the ship." he said


Zell eat another hot dog

"You know, I've always wondered where do all the hot dogs you eat go…"

"Dunno, either…"

"And what's that… that… thing… that's about to stand and walk on itself??"

"Dunno, but I like it…"

"Zell…" Seifer said, turning his head

"Have you noticed?"


"You're calling me Zell instead of Chicken Wuss…"

Seifer blushed a little, praying God that Zell'd not see it

"Well… I… er…" he stammered "Jus' thinkin' that you would prefer that…"

"Oh, hey… Thanks…" he smiled


Crys ran toward their table and sat down

"Do not run in the Garden…" Seifer said

"You're like my mom!" Crys said.

Zell chuckled and Seifer gave him the glare of death.

"What brings you here, red-tip??"

"I asked Quistis out!!" she exclaimed excited

Seifer's jaw reached the table surface, while Zell greeted Crys

"So you've finally did it!!"

"Yes, I'm so happy!!"

"Where are you going?"

"In Balamb there's a little romantic restaurant, it's called 'The 7th Heaven!!'"

"Yes, I know it, it's perfect!! So when are you going?"

"Tomorrow evening, so I was hoping that you guys would help me finding a good dress in Balamb!!!"

"We ain't exactly expert in those things!!!"

"Yes… But you have just to say which dress suits me and which not… So? You'll come?"

"W-Wait a moment!!" Seifer exclaimed

"Yes, Seifer?"

"You… You are going on a date with Quistis??!!!!!"

"Yes, what's wrong?"

"You mean you like her, I mean you like her like a… like a…"

"Yes, lover…"

"Never thought you were homosexual…"

"Now you know, happy?"


"Good, so?"

"Yes, we'll help you…" Seifer assured her.

"Good… See ya later, then!!"

They watched her leave, then Zell turned to Seifer.

"You seemed a little upset about Crys…"

"Yes, I guess… I have always thought the only one who was gay 'round here, was-" he stopped

"Was, who?"

"Nothing …"


"I… I can't tell you…"

Zell eyed Seifer suspiciously and went back eating.

"Can you please tell me his or her initials??? Please?"


"Please, please??"

"I said no."

"Pretty please?"


"Pretty please with puppy eyes?"

Seifer laughed

"Okay, you won!!"


"His initials are A.S."

"So he's a guy, mmmhh…"

"Yes, happy now?"

"Yeah, thank you!!"

Zell got up and raced out of the Cafeteria, muttering 'I'm going to find who is him!!'

Seifer shook his head and finished his food.

Zell hadn't come back, yet. So Seifer was able to remain alone in their room without distractions.

He sat on his bed and sighed.

My Knight…

Seifer's eyes widened and he got up from the bed, looking around him.

"Who… Who are you?"

Don't you recognize me, my Knight?

"N…No… If this is a joke it isn't funny…"

His voice trembled and he bit his lower lip for his weakness.

I'm real, I'm here… Come to me, my Knight…

"You're not real… This isn't happening…"

He slowly backend towards the door. He tripped and let out a strangled cry.

"Go away, please!!!" he screamed.

Is this the way to thank me? I saved your life…

"No! You made my life miserable!!"

Back at Island Closest to the Hell… Who do you think has cast that powerful Ice Spell?? You??

Seifer got to his feet and ran to the door. He tripped for the second time and he slammed hard against the closed door. He tried to open it then he remembered that he needed the electronic key to do so. He left his on the bed.

Lose something, my Knight?

Seifer heard a laughter in his head, a creeping laughter like…

NO!! This isn't real!! I'm not hearing…her voice… she's dead, DEAD!!! It's just a little sick bad joke…

Oh, but it isn't a joke, my Knight. You're…

The door opened suddenly, the voice disappeared and Seifer fell.

So it was a guy… a guy with the A.S. initials…

Andy Sunders? No… he isn't surely gay, he's fucked almost every girl in the Garden…

Andrew Sykes? Don't know… but he seems to be madly in love with Shu, who on the other side doesn't even know he exist…

Zell sighed in frustration.

Damn Seifer! Why couldn't he just give me the boy's name??!

The young fighter headed for his room to grab his fighting gloves, he wanted to train a little.

He inserted the card and he entered the code. The door swung open and something, someone, fell on him, knocking the wind out of him.



"Ow… My head… that hurt…" Zell moaned, massaging his head.


"Oh, Seifer… Were you expecting me to do such a funny thing like that??"

"N-No… I was just leaning on the door, then you opened it…"

"Okay, now… I believe you, so would you please get off me, you're not that light!!!"

Seifer blushed "Sorry…"

He got to his feet and helped Zell, too.

"What were you doing here, anyway?" he asked Zell "I thought you went to Balamb with Irvine, Squall, Selphie and Rinoa…" "Naw! I would have been in the way… They're all lovey-dovey…"

"I can quite imagine…"

"Besides, I was going to train myself, so I came here to get my gloves…"

"Can I join you?"

"A spar?"


"Okay, grab you gunblade and let's go!"

They were facing themselves in the Training Center.

"Okay, the rule is 'there're no rules', 'kay?" Seifer said.

Zell nodded.

"Don't hold anything, punch me, kick me… etc., 'kay?

Zell grinned and nodded.

"Try to kill me, 'kay?"

Zell went serious. "Seifer…"

"I'll block all the blows, don't worry… I'm better than you, ain't I?"

Zell snarled and launched himself toward the other blonde.

Seifer dodged the fist and counter with his Hyperion, barely missing the tattooed-boy.

The moment after Zell had touched the ground, he punched Seifer in the chest, making him do some steps back; then the younger boy kicked him off his feet, sending him on his butt.

"So, Who's the gay boy?" Zell asked.

"I'll never tell you…"

"No? Get to your feet."

Seifer jumped to his feet and attacked Zell, but the smaller SeeD dodged all his blows and countered with a well-aimed punch at his jaw.

"Who's the better now? So, that name?"

"You'll have to kill me first!!"

"The rule is there're no rules, you said…"


"Try to kill me, you said…"


"Then I'll kill you!!"

He charged at Seifer.



"And then FINAL HEAVEN!!!"

Seifer fell to the ground clutching at his chest.

"Gagh… That… hurts…"

He managed to said, before he fainted.

Zell scratched the back of his head.

"Maybe I exaggerated a bit…" he mumbled, casting a cure spell on Seifer. Then he leaned the other boy on his shoulder and started to go back to his room.

He laid Seifer on his bed, then he went to the bathroom and took the first-aid kit. When he came back Seifer was already conscious.

"How do you feel?"

"You improved since last time."

"Yes, and you didn't use all your strength… You should have…"

I feared I might hurt you…

"Look what you made me do!! I used my limit on you…"

"I'm still alive…"

"Because I didn't use all my strength…"

"See? I did the same thing… You're just luckier…"

"I suppose you're right… Now took off the shirt I have to take a look at your ribs… I used a cure spell but don't know how much it worked…"

Seifer froze.

I have to take off my shirt… in front of him??!!

He had already been half-naked, in the same room of Zell, but at the time the boy was facing the other way.

"C'mon, we don't have the whole day…"

Slowly, Seifer took off his shirt, that joined his coat, previously taken off by Zell, on a chair.

"Okay, let me se…"

Zell began to press gently his ribs at each side of his body.

"That hurts?" he asked when Seifer gasped.

The other blonde nodded, pressing his lips together, hoping Zell wouldn't see the erection he was having for such closeness…

"Yep. That must be broken… A potion should work…" he gave Seifer a potion from the first-aid kit.

"Feeling better?"

Seifer nodded.


Zell took the first-aid kid and disappeared in the bathroom.

Seifer felt disappointed when the other SeeD's caring touch had disappeared, but felt also relieved because he feared he might have done something he'd regret for the rest of his life.

"Who's the gay boy, then?"

"Still with that story?"

"Yeah, I can't do anything if I'm curios!!"

"Just tell me something…"


"What the hell are you going to do when you'll know who the fuck he is?"

"Hey, calm down!!"

"I'm calm." Seifer growled "So?!"

"Dunno… Maybe I'll just leave him alone… Maybe I'll became friend with him… Maybe I'll blackmail him… Hell! I don't know! Tell me who the hell he is!!"

"Fuck you."

Seifer stood up and went to the window, gazing outside.

"Is someone I know? How old is he?"

Seifer felt the rage, the frustration, the sadness, beginning to build up inside of him…

If Zell doesn't stop, I'm going to explode!!

"Is he a SeeD? What color is his hair? And his eyes?"

"IT'S ME!!!!" Seifer yelled


"I'm gay!! A.S.!!! Almasy Seifer!!! The gay boy is me!!!" he finally burst out.


"Yes, me!!"

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