Notes: This is a Seifer/Zell written for winter for being my 800th hit. It’s not quite right, I never was good at writing non-con.

I Love To Hate You

Part 2

By Purple Penguin

Zell slumped against the wall in the training centre secret area. He buried his head on his hands feeling terrible. This so-called new start had quickly turned sour. It had been a month since what had happened in Balamb that day and Seifer hadn’t backed off like Zell had thought he would, instead he had got worse.


“I’m glad to see you back Zell, I hope this year will be good for you.”

The little blonde grinned at his tactical instructor, his eyes slid past to the doorway where Seifer stood with that damned smirk plastered on his face. Zell glared at him then turned his attention back to the instructor. “Thank you Sir.”

The instructor continued to talk about his progress and Zell risked another quick glance back at the doorway. His eyes went wide; the other blonde grinned wickedly at him while his hand worked its way into his pants, stroking himself.

“Zell? Are you listening?”

“What?” His attention snapped back to the instructor who looked irritated. “If you aren’t interested in what I have to say then-”

“No, no I am interested really it’s just-” He trailed off to look back at the doorway where Seifer last stood. The instructor followed Zell’s gaze to the empty hallway and he shot Zell a worried look.

“Zell, are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah I’m fine Sir.”

“Well, you’re free to go.” He watched the blonde leave his classroom carefully.

Zell stepped out and glanced both ways before he left. The corridors were near deserted and Seifer was nowhere to be seen, Zell breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed.

Suddenly a classroom door opened and he was dragged inside. Zell opened his mouth to yell for help but a hand clamped over his mouth.

The little blonde shuddered at the memory, he wasn’t drunk that time he had no excuse and he knew he should have resisted harder. He tried to but his resistance sort of... died when Seifer had him pinned to the instructor’s desk. He let Seifer fuck him, he welcomed it, he enjoyed it. He convinced himself that it was just a minor slip and that it would never happen again, but it always did happen again and every time was supposed to be the last. He was convinced he was going crazy he hated Seifer, he always would and nothing would ever change that.

At dinner Zell sat with his friends picking at his food, pushing it around the plate.

“Hey, are you okay?”

“Yeah.” He said quietly.

Carrie and Selphie shared a look. “What is it?”

The little blonde suddenly stiffened and glared at someone who was coming their way from behind the girls. Seifer sauntered past their table; he winked at Zell on the way past.

“Is he still giving you hassle?”

Zell nodded. He hadn’t told them about the ‘thing’ between himself and Seifer, how could he? What would they think of him? To willing become Seifer’s new play toy.

Much to Zell’s surprise Seifer hadn’t told anyone either, he called it their dirty little secret and he seemed to enjoy all the sneaking around.

“You shouldn’t let him get to you; it’s not like he’s ever going to have you.” Selphie smiled at him. “You’re too smart for that.”

Zell managed a slight little smile in return but he felt worse than he had before.

“So what are you two doing today?” He said, quick to change the subject from Seifer.

Selphie beamed and patted her friend on the back. “Carrie has a date.”

“Really? Who is he? Is he hot?”

Carrie blushed a deep red. “Yeah he’s pretty hot; he’s not from around here.”

“Where’s he from?”

“Galbadia, we met on a mission, he training to be a Seed too.”

Selphie grinned. “He’s name’s Irvine and I’ve met him!”

“Really? Will I get to meet him too?”

“Maybe.” Her blush faded to a pale pink. “He’s not going to be here long, but I’m meeting him outside Balamb tonight we’re going to see a movie. You can wait with me if you want.”

“Yeah. that’ll be great.” Zell grinned.

Zell shivered in the cold night air, he didn’t have a jacket on because he didn’t know it would take this long.

“How much longer?”

“He’ll be here.” Carrie said confidently, although she had a leather jacket on.

Zell shifted from foot to foot. He had come to see if this guy was good enough for his best friend, he was like a brother to Carrie and that was what older brothers did.

“Ooh here he comes! Zell look!”

The little blonde looked up to see a tall man with long light brown/reddish hair tied back in a ponytail. He wore a pale brown trench coat, cowboy boots and a hat to match. He smiled at Carrie and kissed her on the cheek.

“Hey baby.”

“Irvine, this is my best friend Zell.”

The cowboy grinned at the blonde. “Hey mate.”


Carrie looked back at Zell. “I’ll see you back at garden later, okay?”

“Have fun.” He sighed as he watched them leave, he was happy for his friend she deserved some happiness. He didn’t feel like headed back to garden, maybe he could go into balamb and get some food from somewhere.

He jumped when a head landed on his shoulder and a breath tickled his ear. “He’s cute, don’t you think?” The voice chuckled. “I heard your little friend had a date and I just had to come see for myself.”

Zell sighed.

“I wonder how long he’ll be around.”

Zell whirled round. “Don’t even think about interfering with them.”

Seifer smirked. “Jealous chicken Wuss?”

“Of course not but Carrie is my friend and I don’t wan to see her get hurt.”

“How very noble, unfortunately things aren’t always the way you want them to be, sometimes you can’t do anything.”

The little blonde frowned. “What does that mean? Are you talking in riddles?”

The tall blonde rolled his eyes. “That guy was Irvine Kinneas.” He pointed towards in the direction the couple had gone. “He’s a professional heartbreaker; he puts my amount of lovers to shame.”

“He- Wait, how many lovers have you had?”

Seifer laughed and waved a finger at him. “Ah, ah.”

“So he’s going to hurt my friend? What do I do?” He turned and walked a few steps away from Seifer.



“Listen if you interfere she will blame you not Irvine.” He spoke in a simple voice as if he was indicating that Zell was stupid.

“So how- how can I... protect her.”

Seifer turned away. “We’ll just have to watch her.”


“Yeah, you’re not exactly the world’s best stealth Chicken Wuss. Besides when you can revenge on this guy can I help? There’s a few things I wanted to repay him for.”

Zell slowly nodded. “Fine, you can help.” He started walking towards the town.

“Where you going?”


“Can I come?”


“Why not?”

“Look a lot of people know me in Balamb or more importantly they know my mother and the last thing I want is her hearing that I’ve been seen with a guy.”

“She doesn’t know you’re gay?”

“No and I want it to stay that way so if you so much as touch me and I’ll sue you for sexual harassment.”

The tall blonde shrugged. “Fine.”

Zell frowned, confused. He thought Seifer would have left if he knew he couldn’t embarrass Zell by groping the other blonde in public. Instead Seifer followed Zell into Balamb.

Zell woke up to someone knocking on the door.

“Zell are you up yet? It’s Selphie.” A voice called through the door.

The little blonde’s eyes shot open. Had he remembered to lock the door last night? He couldn’t remember doing it; they were in a bit of a hurry to get in last night. Seifer had been all over him on the walk back to garden and by the time they got back to Zell’s dorm both of them were extremely horny.

“Zell?” Selphie called again.

A warm body rolled over and pressed to his side. “Aren’t you going to answer her?”

“Shh or she might come in here.”

“You did lock the door, right?”

The door suddenly clicked open and footsteps came their way. Seifer leapt up out of bed, over Zell and into the toilet. Selphie came in just as the toilet door slammed shut.

“Is this a bad time?” She looked at Zell who was propped up on his elbows. Her eyes brightened as she scanned the room seeing all the articles of clothing on the floor. “Do you have company? Who is he?”

“No one Selphie, really.”

She pouted. “Carrie let me meet her date.”

“He is NOT my date.”

“Is he someone I know? If he isn’t, why won’t you let me meet him?”

Zell sat up on the edge of the bed with the duvet over his crotch as he was still completely naked.

“He’s very shy so....” He paused at the sound of laughter coming from the toilet.

Zell glared at the door then looked back at Selphie, his eyes widened and he paled when he caught sight of a familiar trench coat hanging from the cupboard door behind Selphie’s head. His little friend cocked her head at his alarmed look. “What? What is it?”

He leapt out of bed, holding a pillow over his groin and stood in front of the trench coat. He pushed Selphie towards the door with his free hand.

“Anyway thanks for stopping by, I’ll see you later.” He walked her out the door, not giving her a chance to double-back into his room.


“Bye.” He shut the door and then leant on it in relief.

He looked up at the sound of laughter. Seifer walked out of the toilet. “That was too close.”

Zell glared and threw the pillow he had been holding over his groin at the taller blonde. Seifer caught it easily and pulled Zell in for a kiss.

A couple of hours later Zell stepped out of his room and straight into Selphie.

“Will you tell me who he is yet?”

“No, what are you doing here?”

“I wanted to know if you wanted to come to breakfast with us?”

“Us? Carrie came home last night?”

Selphie slapped him in the chest. “Yes not all of us go to bed with people they hardly know.” She gave him a look. Little did she know that Zell had known Seifer way longer than Carrie had known Irvine.

“Maybe you’ll tell us over breakfast?”

“You told her didn’t you?”

“Well.... I had to tell someone, I’m happy for you.”

Zell winced. “Please don’t be.”

“I feel left out now, I’m the only single one left.”

Zell snorted. If this guy was is bad as Seifer said he was then Selphie was the lucky one, he had a feeling that he would be stuck with Seifer for a while, until someone better came along. Even though he was Seifer, it was nice to wake up beside someone and at least he didn’t have to worry about regular beatings from the guy anymore, Seifer didn’t even bother teasing him anymore apart from the occasional ’Chicken Wuss’. Maybe sex was more important than anything else to the tall blonde and he didn’t ant to risk not having a willing body to fuck.

Carrie grinned at Zell as he sat opposite her in the cafeteria.

“She told you, didn’t she?”

“Who is he? Don’t be shy, I let you meet Irvine so it’s only fair.”

“How was your date? Did he behave himself?”

She waved a finger at him. “No changing the subject, I want to know who he is and you’ll tell me eventually you always do.”

“Not this time.”

“My date went well, the movie was great and yes Irvy behaved himself perfectly.”

“Irvy? Bit early for pet names, isn’t it?”

“It’s not a pet name.”

Zell couldn’t resist teasing her. “He didn’t try to put his hand down your top at all?”

She faked disgust and threw a napkin at him. “I’m surprised you can still walk.”

Selphie pulled up a chair. “Now, now you two as much as I like to see a good bitch fight-” She trailed off as Zell glared at her.

“So are you going to be seeing your mystery guy tonight Zell?”

The little blonde shrugged. He enjoyed the friendly banter and teasing but he dreaded to think what would happen if they found not that it was Seifer who shared his bed.

“Is he from garden? He must be or at least live in Balamb, or you’d never see him.”

Zell waved a drop. “Just drop it, okay? I’ll never tell you.”

The girls pouted. “I’ll find out eventually, I’m a great spy.”

“What’s this?” A friend of Carrie’s asked as she pasted.

Selphie beamed. “Zell’s getting la- Mpf!” The blonde slapped a hand over her mouth quickly.

“What are you freaks up to this time?” A snooty girl dragged her friend along with her as she pasted.

Zell moved his hand. “Don’t spread it around I don’t want anyone to know.”

“Don’t spread what around?” A familiar blonde loomed over Selphie.

She smirked at Seifer, as Zell desperately mouthed ‘no’ to her. “Zell got laid last night, you lost he’s not stupid enough to fall for your shit!”

Zell collapsed onto the table in defeat.

Seifer laughed. “Is that right?”

Both girls folded their arms and glared at him as he walked round the table and whispered something to Zell before he walked away.

“What do he tell you?”

Zell shook his head. “Don’t worry about it.”

The next night Zell and Selphie followed Carrie out of her room. She had been showing them her new dress, which she now wore to go to a club with Irvine. “So what are you two doing tonight then?”

“Well, me being the only single one, I’ll be sitting in my room along drinking coco.” Selphie turned to Zell. “Would you like to keep a lonely old maid company? Or do you have plans tonight?” She winked at him.

“No, no plans we can be lonely old maids together.”

Carrie smiled at them as her turned down another hallway. “Try to have fun without me.”

“Bye, see you later.”

“I want details!” Selphie yelled after her.

Zell shook his head at her as they headed to Selphie’s room.

The little blonde cocked his head at a high whistle. “What was that?” He looked back over his shoulder and frowned. “I’ll be right back.”

Zell left his bewildered friend and rounded the corner to glare at a familiar blonde. “What the hell do you want?”

Strong arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer. “I was lonely, I wondered if you couldn’t help me with that problem.” He started to nuzzle into Zell’s neck, nibbling at the skin.

“I can’t, I promised Selphie that I’d drink coco with her?”

The taller blonde chuckled. “You’re turning me down to drink coco?” He gently brushed lips with the little blonde.

“Oh my god!!”

The two men broke apart quickly; Zell stood frozen in horror. Selphie slowly raised a hand to her mouth that hung open. “Y-You-two.... W-When? H-How?”

She gave Seifer a stern look. “Why?” She asked Zell. “You can do better than him.”

“I’m sorry.” He whispered.

“No, don’t be.” Suddenly her eyes went wide. “Oh god, what I said before, I didn’t mean that!” She backed up slowly. “Look I can drink coco on my own, you go.”


She nodded and smiled at him, but she still glared at Seifer.

“I still can’t believe it, you and Seifer?”

“Don’t say it like that, its not like we’re a couple or anything.”

“You just-fuck?”

Zell paused for a moment. It was strange to hear Selphie swear like that. “Yeah, I guess.”

She smirked. “Is he any good?”

Zell almost spat his coffee out all over the table. “What?!”

“Seifer, is he any good in bed, although I guess he must be if you keep going back, huh?”

Zell went a very deep red. “Selphie.” He hissed.

“You’re blushing, is that a yes?”

“Hey, where’s Carrie? I haven’t seen her this morning.”

Selphie smirked. “No changing the subject, but you’re right I haven’t seen her either.” She smiled. “Maybe Carrie got lucky too.”

Zell smiled slightly. “Maybe.”

“What? What was that look for?”

“Nothing, it’s just something told me about this guy.”

“Something bad?”

“Don’t worry about it, it may not be true.”

“If it’s about my friend then I want to know, now tell me!”

“Seifer said this guy had a reputation as a heartbreaker, you know a love ‘em and leave ‘em type of guy. Don’t tell Carrie, it may not be true, Seifer’s isn’t very truth worthy.”

“What do you mean don’t tell her? She has the right to know.”

“If she thinks we’ve been snooping around, then she’ll blame us even if we are right.”

“But we didn’t snoop Seifer told you.”

“And when in my right mind would I ask Seifer anything.”


“No, you can’t tell her about me and Seifer either.”

Selphie held her head. “All these secrets, we’re supposed to be friends and now I can’t mention Irvine or Seifer in case I forgot what she doesn’t know.”

“Just act normally, it’ll probably never happen.”

But of course it did.

A few days later Carrie found out that Irvine was dated three girls at the same time as well as her. She had threatened him with a rusty object but she hadn’t hurt him. Selphie told Zell to beat him up.

Zell left his dorm and walked straight into a smirking Seifer. “You look happy.”

“Oh I am.”

“I guess you got your wish, if you hated him so much why didn’t you just beat him up.”

“Where would the fun be in that?”

“You beat me up enough times.”

“That was for your own good.”

Zell frowned. “How was it for my own good?”

“You were an easy target, everyone could beat you up, because you wanted to hurt me so much now look at you, no one would dare touch you... except me of course and I haven’t heard you complaining.”

Zell just frowned at him. “So what are you going to do this guy? Nothing sick, is it?”

“How’d you mean?”

“Not going to rape him are you?”

Seifer looked disgusted. “Fuck no! I’m not that perverse, I don’t know where he’s been, he may have diseases.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“I thought I might buy him a drink.”


“You’ll see, are you coming?”

“Yeah.” He whispered.

Zell sat at the bar with head propped up in his hands, his elbows resting on the bar. Seifer sat beside him casually chatting and laughing with Irvine. This was some plan; Zell was starting to think this was just an excuse for Seifer to get Irvine into bed.

His attention was caught when the cowboy held his head. “I think I drank too much.” He stood up wobbly on his feet, his eyes rolled back into his head and he collapsed.

“Did you put something in his drink?”

Seifer grinned at him and slung the unconscious cowboy over his shoulder, Zell jogged after him.

“Where are we going?”



Seifer just grinned.

There was no one around when they reached the docks which Zell quickly decided was a good thing when Seifer started to strip Irvine’s clothes off.

“What the hell are you-”?

“Just keep watch.”

The little blonde nervously glanced around, looking down at Seifer a few times to see what the older man was doing. Zell glared when the cowboy was placed on his head and Seifer slung a now naked Irvine over his shoulder again.

“Come on.”

There was one ship in the harbour. It was a pleasure cruiser; the ramp was down for boarding the next morning. Seifer ran up the ramp with Irvine.

“Seifer! Wait.” Zell whispered as he followed the older man. “This ship will be crawling with people tomorrow, you can’t-” He jogged to catch up as Seifer disappeared into the ship.

The tall blonde ran into the main hall, which was set all with tables, chairs and posh foods. Irvine was placed on a barstool, facing outwards with his hands handcuffed to the bar rail.

“Are you crazy?!”

Seifer spun to face Zell. “Just picture it, tomorrow when the ship is boarded this room will be full of people, posh, snooty ones too. Think of how embarrassed you’d be to wake up naked in a room full of people.”

Zell thought about it and grinned. Seifer pulled the shorter blonde in for a kiss, which Zell eagerly returned.

the couple left the room not noticing the video tape that had recorded their every move.

The headmaster’s eyes almost fell out of his head at the tape that Martine showed him. At first when he heard the accusation about Martine’s adoptive son getting drugged and humiliated by Seifer and Zell he thought it was ridiculous. Not because he thought Seifer was a saint but when did Zell work with Seifer. The tape clearly showed the two blondes kissing. What was Zell thinking?

The headmaster had told Martine he’ll deal with it but the other man wanted Seifer to get punished instead of merely getting detention. There was mission starting tomorrow, to recapture some loose prisoners in Galbadia, it would take months to find them all. The headmaster thought time away from Seifer would do Zell some good, maybe his grades would improve.

He hit the intercom button.

“This is the headmaster speaking, would Seifer Almasy and Zell Dincht please come up to my office immediately.”

Zell and his friends looked up as the headmaster called.

Selphie narrowed her eyes. “What did you do?”


Seifer walked up o the table and the two of them left the cafeteria. Carrie watched them leave. “Am I missing something?”

As soon as they got into the lift, Zell turned to Seifer. “If I get expelled for this, I’ll hate you forever.”

“You won’t get expelled; this is your first offence. I’m the one likely to get expelled.”

“Doesn’t that bother you?”

Seifer shrugged.

The lift pinged telling them it had reached its destination. Zell didn’t move forward at all. Seifer pushed him out of the lift. “You won’t get expelled.” He said as he walked behind Zell to push him into the headmaster’s office.

“Hello boys.”

“Sir.” They said in unison, as they stood side-by-side in front of the headmaster’s desk.

“I’ve had an interested report from the headmaster of Galbadia garden concerning Irvine Kinneas, at first I didn’t believe it but now that I’ve seen this-” He held up the tape and popped it into the machine beside his desk.

Zell’s face fell when the Seifer on the screen kissed him again. Their cover was blown for both the Irvine thing and their ‘thing’ between them.

“Not going to expel us are you?”

The headmaster smiled. “Of course not, I’ll let you off easy, as I don’t think it was your entire fault.” He gave Seifer a stern look. “As for you Seifer, you’re going away for a while, there’s a mission starting tomorrow.” He threw Seifer the paper with the details on it.

The taller blonde smirked. “How predictable, he’s splitting us up Chickie, this’ll take months.” He threw the paper back on to the headmaster’s desk.

“Martine suggested it actually, he wanted you to get a real punishment for this and not just detention, which is what you’re getting.” He said to Zell “Forever.”


“Until you become a SeeD. Seifer you leave tomorrow morning at 6:00. Dismissed.”

Seifer punched the wall of the lift causing it to shake.

“I didn’t think you’d care.”

“Care? That smug bastard thinks he can order us around like puppets!” He sighed as the lift stopped at their floor. “Don’t you ever wish you could leave?

Zell stepped out of the lift, being steered in the direction of the dorms by Seifer. “Leave garden?”


“And go where? Do what?”

“I don’t know, just wherever and”

Zell typed in his door code. “I will never understand you.”

Seifer leered at his lover once the door was closed. “This is my last night Chickie, I hope you’ll make it memorable.” He pulled the little blonde closer and started to undress him.

“Do you miss him?”

“Seifer? Of course not.”

“Let me rephrase that, do you miss the sex?”

Zell smiled slightly at Selphie. “Maybe, but it has only been a day.”

“But now instead of sitting here staring at a blank TV screen with me you could be getting your brains fucked out.”

Zell glanced at her. “Are you trying to make me feel worse?”

“I’m sorry.”

“He starting talking about freedom and leaving garden, maybe he’ll ran away and not return.”

“Do you ever stop hating him?”

“I don’t know.”

“I’ll always hate the Seifer that beat me up everyday and waited for me in the showers to humiliate me but maybe I didn’t hate this version.”

Selphie patted him on the shoulder. “Well in a few weeks he’ll be back and you’ll still be complaining because you’ll wish he wasn’t here.”


Three weeks later.

Zell was in the cafeteria with his friends for lunch when the headmaster made his announcement.

“Hello everyone, this is the headmaster, I’m afraid I have bad news. Two of the SeeDs and cadets that were sent to Galbadia are dead.” He paused.

Zell stared at the table in dread, he knew one of them was Seifer, he just knew it.

“They are Atoki Abbison and Seifer Almasy. A memorial service will be held for them on Friday outside the front gate, if you would like to attend.”

“Oh my god.” Selphie said in shock. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, not like I ever liked the guy I just got used to him.”

“Are you going to the memorial service?”

Zell looked over his shoulder and met the sad eyes of Raijin. “Yeah, I’ll go.”

Carrie and Selphie went with Zell, Raijin and the silver haired girl that Zell now knew as Fujin. Zell knew his friends never liked Seifer they were only there to make up the numbers. Seifer never had many friends. The other guy had a lots people there for him, they cried a lot and said nice things about him.

“Should we be crying, ya know?” Raijin asked Zell.

“No I don’t think Seifer would have wanted that.”

4 months later.

He shoved the spade into the ground, hard digging up all the old roots to get ready to plant new crops for the next summer. He stopped leaning on his spade, the sweat poured down his naked torso. He had been at it for hours and the sun beat down on him.

This may not be as flashy as being a SeeD but at the end of the day he had money in his back pocket and a little cottage in the village. He ran a hand through his sweat drenched blonde hair, this wasn’t such a bad life, and at least he was free.


“Yeah?” He yelled back. He had to take the other guy’s name, which wasn’t so bad he wasn’t Seifer Almasy anymore he was dead.

“Some cadets from garden are snooping around here, if they want to look around my land, watch them!”

“Will do!” Cadets? Were they from Balamb?

He walked up the hill that over looked the main street of their village and smiled at the cadets. One of them lagged behind; his fluffy blonde hair glowed in the sunlight.

Atoki smiled. “Hey Chickie.” He stood, picked up his spade. Time to get back to work.

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