Heartbreak and Second Love
Chapter 2 - The Beach
Feeling movement in my arms, I slowly open my eyes. Sleep still on my mind. I sigh sadly when I see Squall in a fetal position, sobbing but trying to keep the noise down. Tightening my hold on him, I pull him closer to my larger body.
"Squall, it's okay. I'm here." He frowns slightly when my familiar baritone voice penetrates his thoughts. He relaxes in my hold, and I smile when his sobs die down. Lifting my arm from his waist I gently wipe the tear tracks from his smooth cheeks. He sighs quietly, nuzzling against my fingers.
He tenses suddenly, and wondering what was wrong, I part my lips in question before I too finally hear the sound. We obviously didn't hear it last night since we fell asleep so quickly, but the sound of moaning and a bed creaking loudly penetrates the walls. My heart breaks at the sound of Squall's renewed sobs.
"I should have known." He mumbles, his voice raspy with tears. Lightly tracing small circles on his naked stomach, I try to calm him down. But the sounds continue to penetrate my ears, and in a sudden bought of anger I slam my fist backwards into the wall. The moaning stops adruptedly, and Squall jumps. Apologizing for startling him, I gently usher him out of the bed to get dressed. I don't want to be here if they decide to start up again. And I definitely don't want Squall hearing it.
I should have known something like this would happen! Zell had been distancing himself from me more every day. It was only a matter of time before he went to his second crush, Rinoa. Even if it saddens me deeply, it's understandable that he would grow tired of me now that I'm a little helpless. He always put me on a pedestal, and I guess when I had the accident I fell of it. Hard.
Seifer's never put me on a pedestal, he's the only one who hasn't. Maybe that's why his opinion of me never changed. I was never placed above everyone else for him, so I couldn't have fell of it.
"Squall, come on." Turning around to face Seifer, I take a couple of steps forward in the general direction of the door. The sound of clothes rustling makes me stop. Shaking my head I hear Seifer stop, and turn to wait by the door. Remembering my count, I continue counting the number of steps it takes from the bed to the door. From past experience I know where the door is, since I've been here so often. But I would like to be able to remember exactly where everything is. So far it's been hard, but I basically remember the amount of steps it takes to get to each room. Though it's frustrating when I forget my count, and I don't know where I am. That's usually the time Seifer appears and he takes me to where I need to go. I always found it weird he would appear every time I needed him. But maybe he just sensed when I was in trouble or needed help somehow?
"Lets go to the beach." Seifer said, grabbing my elbow lightly when I make it through the door efficiently. I can hear the smile in his voice, praising me on my efforts.
"Sure." Praising me for something Zell would just be impatient with...
I rest my hand lightly on the crook of Squall's elbow. Gently guiding him towards the Garden's large gates, and the peaceful beach beyond that. I keep my steps small, making sure that they easily match Squall's normal strides. I don't want to have him jogging to catch up with me like he used to. I smirk at the memory of the brunette calling my name to silently plead for me to slow down. And when I would eventually glance over my shoulder I would smirk at seeing him walking at his own steady pace with his head down and arms crossed. Lower lip jutting out ever so slightly in a small pout. I'd always smile and stop, waiting for him to catch up to me. Those were some good times..
"Seifer?" I blink at the sudden feeling of soft sand beneath my boots. Looking over at Squall I see him frown slightly as his head moves to sweep the view in front of him. It must be hard not to be able to see the beautiful waves. Squall always loved to sit on the beach and just watch the waves. He said it was comforting. I hope he can still feel that same amount of comfort by just listening to the water slapping the shore, and the smell of salt in the air.
Wrapping an arm around his shoulders I pull him forward until we're closer to the rising tide. I plop myself down, resting back on my elbows. Squall carefully lowers himself to the sand, sitting in his 'classic' position. With one long leg stretched out, and arms wrapped around the other bent leg, head resting on the upraised knee. He'd always be in that position when he watched the waves. He confessed that it was the most comfortable position, even if it did make him look like a child.
Several minutes pass in comfortable silence. Both of us lost in our own thoughts. It's definitely a little colder here by the water, but Squall doesn't look cold, so I don't spend too much time worrying about it.
"Do you think it's over?" I look over at the brunette, my brows furrowed in question.
"What might be over?" His eyes scrunch closed.
"Zell and I?" I sit there, stunned.. did he not hear what was going on in the other room? I sit up and scoot closer to him, wrapping an arm around his slender waist.
"What do you think?" He pauses for a moment.
"He'll probably want to be with Rinoa." The murmured words barely reach my ear when he speaks them with such self-loathing, "At least she's not an invalid."
I pull Squall closer to me, wrapping my other arm around him in a tight hug. Resting my head on top of his dark tresses, I sigh. "Zell's always been.. petty, for lack of a better word. He doesn't know that he can still love someone if there suddenly not perfect in his eyes." Squall tenses in my hold.
"You think he'll leave me?" I tighten my hold on him.
"Oh Squall.." Shudders rack his body, but deciding to save him the embarrassment, I wrap my trench coat around him, blaming it on the cold. "He doesn't deserve you Squall. It's not your fault that he can't see beyond the surface." Squall sighs, his quivering frame slowly regaining control.
"It's my fault." My eyes widen in surprise and I pull back slightly to look the smaller man in the face.
"What do you mean, it's your fault? No it's not!" He sighs.
"If I had been paying better attention I would have been able to beat that Malboro easily. If I had been smart enough to tell Zell to stay home instead of coming along on the mission, I wouldn't have been distracted in the first place. It's my fault." I shake my head, a little bit of anger bubbling up inside me at the mere mention of Zell's name and what they were doing that was so 'distracting'.
I grab Squall by the shoulders and turn him to face me. "It's not your fault Squall. Everyone makes mistakes. This just happened to be your time to make one. It's. Not. Your. Fault." I punctuate each word with a small shake to the slim frame. The younger man looks down, thinking over my words. I pull him back into my chest, keeping him warm despite the chilly breeze now blowing in from the cold waters in front of us.
At least half an hour passes before Squall finally starts to shake, from the cold this time. I pull us both up and start heading back to the Garden. "Come on Squall, I'm freezing my nads off out here." He gives a small smirk, still lost in his thoughts.
By the time we get back to the dorms, Zell and Rinoa are both gone. I breath a sigh of relief (at the same time feeling Seifer trying to hold back a chuckle at that. I just don't want any confrontations), and carefully make my way to my dorm room. Seifer's hand as light as a feather on my elbow and he just lets it rest there, instead of guiding me with it. I grin in thanks, and continue until I feel the soft carpet beneath my sock clad feet (Seifer and I having already dropped our boots by the door when we came in).
I hear Seifer's clothes rustle, probably kneeling down to take off his socks (he likes to feel the carpet underneath his feet for some reason, he always has. Maybe it's a fetish? Who knows, Seifer's always been strange). Making my way forward, I let out a gasp when I suddenly trip over something and fall flat on my face. Stabs of pain go through my nose, fuck, I must have broken it or something.
I hear Seifer get up quickly, rushing over to me. He pulls me up gently, dragging me to the joint bathroom to wash up.
I sit on the toilet as Seifer runs a washcloth under warm water. He turns the tap off, and gently dabs at the blood surrounding my nose. A cool tingle spreads through the pained area, judging it's strength, I guess it to be a Curaga at least. I frown slightly at Seifer wasting a perfectly good Curaga, when a Cura would have done the job efficiently. Seifer chuckles, obviously reading my thoughts "I want to make sure it heals properly, I didn't want to take the chance with a weaker healing spell." Warm fingers touch my nose gently. "Besides, wouldn't want you to have a crooked nose now, would we?" I smile and shake my head at his excuse.
"Come on." He helps me up and pulls me outside. I frown when I feel the rough carpet beneath me feet.
"Why are we in your room Seifer?" I hear the blonde falter in his steps, before righting himself.
"I just thought you'd prefer to sleep in my room instead." He responds quietly. I frown in sadness, the sounds of this morning coming back to me again.
"Hey.." Seifer says quietly, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and guiding me to the bed. I sink down into the large mattress, Seifer quickly following me and pulling the covers over top of us. He wraps me in his muscular arms, soothing me with murmured words. I eventually over come the sadness, and try to surpass that giggle I feel in my throat when I feel the blonde's warm breath on my ear.
"Squall?" I snuggle closer.
"Yeah?" Seifer pauses for a moment.
"Promise me that if.. if Zell tries to pretend that nothing happened this morning and want's to continue seeing you, that you'll break it off with him." I smile.
"Of course Seifer, why would I do anything else. I'm not stupid." The larger man tightens his hold
"I know Squall. I just don't want you getting hurt." I sigh quietly, trying to burrow deeper into his warm embrace.
"I'll get over it eventually. ... thanks for being here for me."
"No problem. G'night Squall."
"Night." We both drift off into sleep, our breath becoming slower and matching the others.
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