Thanks to: March Hare for betaing.. proofreading.. ^-^
Notes: >.< I um... wow. Talk about mood change. *bops Seifer and Squall on the head* I'm having a hard time writing these boys because I cannot get into their heads... at least not as completely as I got into Laguna's head. ^-^ I really think I should stick to characters I can relate to. *sigh* Anyway... enjoy. Feedback is welcome.
Disclaimer: I don't own FF8.
Don't Try to Save Me
I awake to pain. Terrible, soul-consuming pain. There's a fire burning in the pit of my stomach and it makes my entire body burn. I hear a voice whispering to me, it urges me to 'embrace' the anger. I don't understand, and I don't care. I just lay quietly, trying to focus on something other than the pain. It's not easy. When something is all around you... You can hardly ignore it. The voice, it murmurs softly against my ear again. I've never heard a voice so melodic before. Lyrical almost. He's only telling me to 'let it take over', but his voice is so soft, and sweet, it sounds like he's singing. I find myself drowning in that voice. And the pain...
Gone. I don't understand, but I won't complain. His voice washes over my body, warming every part of me and relieving the pain.
The flame in my stomach grows, spreading throughout my chest, then working it's way down my legs and up to my arms. It should have hurt, but it doesn't. It's just very warm, and almost comforting.
As the fire wraps itself around my head, I think of Seifer.
"He's dead." The voice murmurs in my ear.
No... No, he's not. I saw him. I touched him. He was real.
"A dream. It was all a dream."
No... Please... He has to be alive. I saw him.
"Just a sick, fucked up dream. He's dead. I killed him."
My eyes hurt, but I force them to open anyway. The light stings my eyes and I gaze at the man leaning over me. He's beautiful, as elegant as his voice. "You..." My voice doesn't want to work. I can't make more than that one word emit from my sore throat.
"I killed him."
The anger is sharp and immediate. I want to kill him. I try to lunge, but my body is held down by some restraints I can't see. "Beautiful." The man whispers, his golden eyes wide and sparkling. "That's it. Get angry. Hate me. Kill me. Let it consume you."
Rinoa used to tell me that anger can only hurt a soul. That it festers within your heart and makes your mind sick. I never told her just how angry I truly was. At Sis for leaving me. At my father for never being there. For putting everything before his children. At the world for expecting me to be perfect. I never told her... I never told anyone. I never let anyone see. I just let the anger rest in my heart, hidden so deep it couldn't be seen. Sometimes I buried it so deeply that I would forget...
It burns so hot...
I can feel it wrapping around my brain...
I thrash against the restraints, almost blacking out as the anger reaches it's peak.
Then, with a scream of pure rage, I pull as hard as I can.
I feel the skin in my wrist ripping.
I feel the pain as my shoulder dislocates.
But mostly I feel an intense need to strangle the man standing beside me.
He hurt Seifer...
Now he's going to pay.
He is smiling smugly when he walks into the room. My lungs... I can't breathe. He's waited so long... I haven't seen anyone for so long. I've just hung here, waiting. Hoping. Praying.
He hears my raspy breathes and casts a light cure spell. Just enough to keep me living, but not enough to ease the pain completely. "Who are you?" I whisper, my voice sounds hoarse, it echoes oddly in the empty room. "Why are you doing this?"
"I am called Koisoko... As for why..." He shrugs and moves closer. His eyes, golden like fire.. It almost hurts to look at them. "Did you ever wonder...?"
I don't want to take the bait. But he pauses and looks at me expectantly. I'm so tired. I hang my head and mutter, "Wonder what?"
"Why there have been many Sorceress' in our history... but no Sorcerers."
"Too.. too much..." I mutter, unable to finish the sentence. My lungs are burning again. It hurts to breath, it hurts even more to speak.
"Yes. The intense physical pressure of all that power is too much for the male psyche to handle. That's the way it's always been."
I gaze at him. What is he getting at? There is an almost demonic smile on his face as he speaks. Something... doesn't feel right. My heart... feels so heavy..
Why... Why do I feel as if he's... He's...
"But I discovered the secret." Koisoko steps before me and places his finger under my chin. He raises my face so I'm staring directly into his eyes. "I've figured out how..."
What is he babbling about? Where is Squall? I have to see him. I need to see him, right now. I really, desperately need to see him. I think... I think I'm panicking.
Calm down, Seifer.
"I was going to use him as bait and use you for my experiment..."
"But his anger is so strong, and so pure... I decided I'd use you as the bait and use him for my experiment."
Return to Archive | next | previous