DISCLAIMER: I do not own Squall or Seifer. I had a pair of muses but they kind of wandered off…. ^-^’
Author's Notes: The others characters and ALL song lyrics found within this fic are MINE. Please do not steal without permission.
This story takes place a few years after the game takes place. I don’t really elaborate on what happened to the other characters. It doesn’t really have anything to do with the story itself. I don’t really spend a lot of time on the other characters because they aren’t completely relative to the story.
All but one section is written in Seifer’s POV. The POV change is listed so don’t worry about being confuzzeled. :D
This was written for a contest on a SxS mailing list. Please read and review :D Feel Free to e-mail me comments at Sodoshiin @ hotmail.com
Thanks to Elise Maxwell and WolfPilot06 for being meh betas!
The first week passed rather quickly.
I don’t know exactly how I felt about it.
A shirtless Squall sounded nice, and the fact that he would be beside me for the night again helped.
But I don’t know if I was excited really.
“Why don’t you ever stay?” I asked from my spot lounged on the bed as he was preparing for sleep.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re gone every morning.”
“Our agreement was that I would spend the NIGHT with you.” He eyed me before starting to pull off his shirt.
“Ah…” I rolled over onto my back and stared up at the ceiling. “So, I’m not allowed to touch you, all we do is sleep and you’re gone by morning.”
He tossed his shirt on the edge of and stood with his hand on his hip. “Are you complaining?”
“I guess I am.” I folded my arms under my head.
He appeared above me, glaring down with a raised eyebrow. “So, you don’t think it’s worth it?”
“Well, honestly, no. The idea of what could happen later is nice, but as for right now it feels like a punishment.”
I’d never seen him look so shocked in his life. “A PUNISHMENT??!”
“Yeah, I mean look at what time it is. I NEVER go to bed this early! You just walk in here go to sleep then leave.” I shrugged. “I mean, come on.”
“If you’re thinking you’re going to get laid before the time is up you’re fucking crazy.” He scoffed. “I’m not breaking the deal.”
“I’m not asking you to.” I replied.
“So, you just want something now to help you along?” He folded his arms over his chest and continued to glare at me.
“Uhm….” I sat up a little on my elbows, blinking a bit. “That’s not exactly….uhm….I wasn’t implying.”
“Well, that’s what it sounded like to me.” Dear god, he’d braced his hand on the end of the bed and started to crawl over the comforter toward me.
I swallowed. “I….I didn’t mean……”
He crawled over the lower half of my body, his arms braced on either side of me, smirking at the obvious shocked look I knew I had on my face. “But it would help?”
I said nothing as he lowered his face to mine.
His lips were warm and soft and tasted like toothpaste. His fingers dug into my hair, his bare chest pressed against the cloth of my t-shirt.
Then suddenly he shoved his tongue into my mouth, his lips pressing hard against mine, burying my head back into the pillow I was laying on.
His fingers stroked the nape of my neck, his body rubbing against mine is a way that was already getting some results.
And there was no way he couldn’t feel it.
One hand moved from the back of my head and slid down, under the edge of my shirt, sliding up to rub my chest while his lower half began to move over mine. His fingers were slightly cold and I gasped as they dragged lightly over my nipple.
He’d become liquid hot in less than five seconds, and I was loving it.
By the time he pulled away I was breathing hard and already ready for anything else he had planned.
“There. Better?” He was still over me, his head titled, his lips flushed and parted.
He had me and he knew it.
“Good. Now get ready for bed.” He moved his hand from under my shirt, sliding it down my skin as he moved from the bed.
I lay there after he’d gone into the bathroom, staring at the ceiling.
That night made me think. A lot more than I normally liked to.
We spent the days ignoring one another, the evenings performing at every club in town, and our nights, before, and since then, doing nothing but sleeping.
I made me wondering just how much he was pushing himself.
He’d never made any inclinations he’d liked guys, so why was I different? Why had he decided to throw whatever morals he had aside to play a game he didn’t even seem to be enjoying.
By the time the final week had ended I felt horrible.
I could tell he was nervous. Not only did he refuse to talk with me at all that day, but he seemed to be purposefully avoiding me.
I was almost surprised when he showed up at my door that night.
He hadn’t bothered to change into his night clothes.
I don’t think he felt the need to.
“I’ve been thinking.” I told him, watching as he started to pull off his shirt.
“About?” Pulling the article of clothing over his head he ran a hand through his hair and looked at me.
“All this.” I sat down on the edge of the bed. “I don’t think it’s right.”
“It’s what I promised.” he shrugged, kicking off his shoes and starting to pull off his socks. They both landed in the general vicinity of his shirt.
“I don’t want you to feel you owe me anything.” I said pointedly.
“Damnit Seifer! You kept your half of the bargain. Just let me do this.” He huffed, frowning deeply and pulling off his belt.
I stood, folding my arms over my chest and glaring. “Why the fuck are you doing this Squall? You’re not gay! You don’t like guys! I know you hate every fucking minute of this!”
His eyes burned into mine. “Because I don’t want to wake up this morning and find out you’ve OD’ed in some back alley! I don’t want to have to make that call to Fujin and Raijin to tell them that you won’t be coming home next christmas! Because I want you HERE, I want to know that you’re okay and that when I wake up in the morning you’re going to be there!”
“Then why all this?”
“Because you’re more important to me than I am. We’ve been friends for god knows HOW fucking long. And I’m not going to lose you just because you’re being fucking stupid.”
“Well you know what Squall, I don’t want you here if you don’t want to be here. I’m not some fucking charity case-”
”I never said I didn’t want to be here Seifer. I’m not a masochist. You know me, I wouldn’t stay if I hated it.”
I dropped back down onto the bed, my elbows resting on my knees. I couldn’t look at him. I didn’t want him to see the weakness in my eyes. I didn’t want to let him go, but I didn’t really know why. But I didn’t really know if I believed him, if I COULD believe him…“Squall.....it’s alright....we can stop it now....”
“But, you went through with it....”
“I know, but I guess I just don’t want it like I did before.”
His jaw dropped. “What the fuck do you mean?”
“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna go back the way I was. You don’t have to stick around like this anymore. You can leave, I’ll be fine.”
“What if I don’t want to leave.”
“I WANT you to leave.”
I tried to ignore the fact that his entire body winced at that comment.
He watched me for a moment, as if to make sure I was serious, then turned and left.
As soon as the door closed my heart sank.
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