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Chapter Nine - Retrospection

By Fantasy Lover

Once proud and full of passion, he fought the cause of man
Many people loved his courage, many followed his command
He changed the old into the new, and the course of things to come
And then one day they noticed he was gone
At first it didnít matter, nobody seemed to care
They all became to busy to find him anywhere
So no one knew, not even him, the problems he would find
On the day he journeyed deep into his mind

- Closet Chronicles (Kansas)


Squall was still trying to get his tears under control. It comforted him to know that Seifer was right by his side. Then it occurred to him that there were still spectators watching the perplexing scene. It didnít really bother him that they knew, but he recalled Seiferís reluctance to want to tell. They could handle the scorn and the endless taunts. What caused the most fear was the threat of being discharged from their home. If Cid found out, well, he didnít want to think about that right now.

"Seifer *sniff* I think Iím better *sniff* now. Thanks. Listen... Could you get these *sniff* assholes out of my room? I *sniff* think theyíve seen enough," he said softly. His eyes were puffy and red from his agonizing grief.

"What people?" he looked around noticing the crowd for the first time, "Damn... Get the FUCK out of here! What are you waiting for? MOVE! Quit gawking!"

Hearing that, the people scattered. They knew Seiferís temper, and to do what he said the first time.

"How you feeling now, babe?"

"Awful. *sniff* First I dream that I lost you forever, and now everyone in the garden thinks Iím a fucking coward. Damn, I hate this place!"

"Come on, Squall. Nobody thinks your a coward."

"Okay...then what would you think if you found a grown man *sniff* screaming at the top of his lungs over a meaningless nightmare, and then *sniff* begin bawling like a baby. Huh? What would you *sniff* think?"

"Iíd think he was human," he smiled.

Squall, too, smiled. He didnít need to hear anything else. Then, his anguish reappeared.

"Seifer..." He paused, "What do you think theyíll say about us."

"I really donít know. Besides, they would have found out sooner or later...but letís not talk about that right now."

"Yeah, I guess your right. um...Seifer...I was wondering if I could tell you about my dream. Is that okay with you?"

"Of course it is. You know you can tell me anything."

"....And then the gun went off. Thatís when I woke up."

"Wow. I can understand why you reacted the way you did. That would scare the shit out of anybody. I wonder...." His sentence was interrupted by Squallís phone.

"Hello? Oh, hi Quistis. I can?" There was a long pause, "But why? It was only...yes, I see. Yes. Thank you, Quistis. Bye."

"What was that all about?"

"They want me to take the day off."

"Sweet. What for?"

"They think Iíve been under too much stress lately. They want me to talk to Dr. Kadowaki this afternoon."

"Really? Man, theyíre so nosy," Seifer glanced at his watch, " Crap. Itís 8:50. I gotta get going or Iíll be late."

They exchanged a quick kiss, and then Seifer was gone....

It had been a long night and Squall was still tired from his earlier incident. He wasnít looking forward to sleep, but he knew he needed it. As he lay in bed, he slowly drifted off to sleep.

"Whatís going on? Where am I? Why is it so dark in here?" he thought aloud.

Then, a voice came from the darkness "Squall... Are you there?"

The voice was so familiar, yet he couldnít quite place it.

"Yes. Iím here," came to reply, "Who are you?"

"Itís me, Babe. Donít you recognize my voice?"

"Seifer? Where are you?"

Squall felt a tight grip on his arm, "Iím right here. I told you Iíd never leave you."

"Where do you think we are?"

"I donít know, but I wish theyíd turn on the lights."

As if by magic, a small white circle of light illuminated the two men. Suddenly, Squall felt a force pulling him away his lover. He held on even tighter, yet it wasnít enough. His hands began to slip, and he watched in horror as the blond flew into the darkness. He knew he couldnít let this happen.

He mustered up all the strength he had, trying to escape from the mysterious energy that surrounded him. Then, with a sudden burst of energy, he broke free from the invisible restraint.

"Iím coming, Seifer. I wonít let them take you."

With a flying leap, he grabbed Seiferís arm. It worked, and they were hurled across the room. They were filled with pain as they collided with a wall, but the pain seemed insignificant. They were together, and no matter what happened, no one could change that.


The voice continued to call them, but it was to no avail. They were out of harms way. As they ran, Squall thought he heard a buzzing sound.

"What the..."

It took some time for him to get his bearings, but he realized that he was in his room, resting on the floor. *Ring* He reached up to his phone.

"Hello," he mumbled, still groggy from his short sleep, "Oh, Dr. Kadowaki, I completely forgot. Iíll be there in a few minutes... Yes... Thank you."

He threw on his clothes quickly, and made his way to the infirmary. It was lunchtime, so there were many people wandering the halls. He glanced from side to side, and noticed that all eyes were on him. They all knew of his humiliating experience, and of his relationship with Seifer. He continued on to the infirmary with his head held low.

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