Where Did All the Guys Go?
Chapter 9 - The Chang Nightmare at the Hospital of Hell: Part One
And thus everyone had this time set fourth once more to the local hospital, or as Kazuya, Lee, Jin, Hwoarang, Bryan, Lei, Paul, and Forest now referred to it as, ‘the hospital of hell’...
The hospital employees well recognized these guys from last time, but surprisingly weren’t one bit startled to see them back, considering they were now known to the hospital as ‘the crazy eight’...
Lei was rushed straight to the emergency room, while Julia now explained the ‘quarantine’ process to everyone else in the main waiting room.
“Okay, listen up guys. Since we have all apparently been exposed to SARS now, we must all be vaccinated, or we may suffer the same fate as Lei...”
“Is he, like, going to die?” Christie asked.
At this moment, Bryan tried to rise from his seat on the couch as Kazuya and Paul restrained him. “He is NOT GOING TO DIE!!!”
“Don’t you talk to Christie like that! Like I said before, we won’t hesitate to sedate you!” Julia yelled.
“This is... weird...” Forest whispered to Hwoarang, who was sitting in the chair next to him.
“I know...”
Suddenly, Forest remembered something, as he now saw his father Marshall approaching from across the room with Baek.
“Oh crap...” Forest now sighed as he saw this.
“What is—” Hwoarang then stopped as he saw this too, “Shit, the thought of what Master Baek would say about this slipped my mind earlier...”
“Oh no... I bet dad has figured out what really happened with the whole ‘peppered beef’ incident by now...”
“What’s wrong, Hwo?” Jin asked, but then got the picture when he saw Marshall and Baek approaching from across the room of doom...
Hwoarang and Forest were both sweatdropping when the two stopped in front of them, with their arms folded.
“Son...” Marshall began as he looked down at Forest, “...You could have told me the truth.”
Hwoarang then looked up at Baek, anticipating his reaction. “That goes for you too, Hwoarang,” Baek sighed, “I’ve been suspecting this for quite some time I must say. You’re obsession with Kazama Jin was nothing short of obvious to *everyone*.”
Jin then started to chuckle slightly at this remark, as Hwoarang sighed under his breath.
“Yes,” Marshall continued, “And besides boys, we both... have something to tell you too, I’m afraid...”
Hwoarang, Jin, and Forest all froze...
“Oh god dad...” Forest gasped as he looked up at them, “You-you’re not... you...you’re not... not.”
“Whoa whoa whoa, wait a second...” Hwoarang shook his head, “It-it’s not... not that... right…? Right...?!”
Jin just sat there... “............”
Marshall and Baek blinked, and then looked at each other. “...NO!!” they both simultaneously exclaimed.
That rat killed my sensei!!! Marshall though to himself.
“I just wanted to admit to you that I am a proud bisexual myself,” Baek nodded, “I did have a fling with one of the Tekken Two competitors, I’ll admit...”
“...Who was it...?” Hwoarang asked, somewhat afraid.
“Trust me, Hwoarang... you may not want to know, and I doubt he would want anyone to know himself, especially who he’s seeing now.”
“...Um, okay......”
“And what about you, dad...?” Forest now asked.
“Son.......”
*Everyone leans in
“...Years and years ago...... Paul and I—”
“STOP IT!!!! I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ANYMORE!!!!!!” Forest shouted at the top of his lungs as he stood up and covered his ears, while Jin and Hwoarang grabbed hold of each other after hearing the highest human voice they had ever heard.
“Hwoarang-kun...” Jin whispered, “I-I take back what I said about your stereo being too loud... I think I just lost thirty-percent of the hearing in both of my ears...”
*Everyone is looking at Forest with their eyes widened...
Marshall sweatdropped BIG, before looking back at Forest, “Err, that’s not what I was going to say, son...”
“......oh...”
“I was going to say we both use to have flings ourselves back in those days during the first and second tournaments...”
Baek then looked down at Jin, “That’s what happened with your parents, I’m afraid...”
Jin’s brows furrowed, “What do you mean?”
“Kazuya and Lee had a fight about... something, and so Kazuya went out with Jun to make Lee jealous, while Lee went out with, well, a LOT of people. At about the same time Kazuya broke it off with Jun, she broke it off with him also, telling him that Michelle was more of a man than he would ever be, even though she was a woman, and then... hey, I’m getting carried away here... Let’s just say it was all crazy and leave it at that.”
“...So *that’s* why my mother and Michelle were always gone for days at time on those ‘Save the Forest & Animal’ expeditions that I had never heard of!!”
**Hwoarang, Forest, Baek, and Marshall give him the ‘DUH!’ look as they shake their heads.
“Yep, and just about every T2 competitor knew this. There’s a lot you young’ns have yet to learn,” Baek declared.
At about this time, Paul walked up, obviously curious as to what Forest’s ear-piercing scream was for. “Forest... what was that screaming for a second ago?”
“Err, nothing...”
Paul then took a guess as he slowly turned to Marshall, “What did you say to my—er, him?!”
“I’m not mad at him about you, Paul,” Marshall smiled courteously, as Paul looked relieved. “...However, I’m afraid I’m going to have to kick your ass!!!”
“............”
Michelle was on her way to check on Lei, who should have at least been awake. She and Julia both worked at the hospital part time as nurses, as well as Jun and Christie. Michelle carried in hand a couple of injecting needle shots as she proceeded to inaudibly turn the doorknob to Lei’s room, before gently cracking open the door.
“Well hello Le—.........”
However... Michelle had walked in to see that the room was a matter of fact, deserted... She then noted that Wulong’s fighting clothes which had been folded next to the bed were gone as well, and Michelle knew what this had to mean...”
“*Sigh* He snuck out!!” she exclaimed before instantly running back out the door and into the large hallway. He couldn’t have gotten far. “LEI WULONG YOU GET YOUR TAIL BACK IN HERE THIS INSTANT!!!”
Lei, who was actually right around the corner at the end of the thankfully empty hallway for the time being, cringed at the tone in Michelle’s voice. “This is ridiculous! I feel fine, and there is *no* way either of those crazy Changs is sticking me *anywhere* with a needle!” Lei assured as he prepared to turn left and take one of the elevators back to the first floor, when he then heard a couple of foreign, yet all-too-familiar voices around the corner..
“So how is little Lei doing?”
“He’s fine for now with the medicine, but mother just went to go give him his shots.”
“Speaking of shots, aren’t the other Tekken competitors overdue for theirs?”
“That’s right, but you can go ahead and take a break honey, leave the others to *me*.”
Lei, who was peaking his head around the corner, then saw none other than Christie Monteiro and Julia Chang come around the corner in nurse’s outfits. “Crap... Christie too...?” Lei sighed. “Wait a minute... honey? Hmp,” he then turned around to take the longer way around, but unfortunately heard yet another all-too-familiar voice...
“Michelle dear, are you down there?”
“No...” Lei muttered as he pressed his back against the wall, “Jun... That shao pitiao keh.”
At this point, Lei finally realized the situation he was now in. He was at the intersection to two hallways, which split into three. If Michelle was coming toward him from one, Julia and Christie from the other, and Jun now from the third, then this meant he was in trouble...
“Damnit...” Lei silently spat, but was abruptly stricken with another idea as he saw he was standing next to a storage closet. Lei then gave this some thought. “Hmm... storage closets equal death... but then again, so do the Changs, Jun, and Christie with their *gulp* needles, so I think I’ll take the storage closet!” he then swiftly opened the door, closing it a split second later as he stepped inside.
“Yes Jun, I’m down here, but it seems we now have a problem...” Michelle called down the hallway as she met Jun at the intersection soon after.
“What do you mean?” Jun asked, “Has Lei escaped or something?”
“I’m afraid so,” Michelle sighed.
Christie and Julia who had just reached the hallways’ intersection as well now joined in on the conversation. “Lei escaped, didn’t he?” Julia asked Michelle, who nodded in turn.
“Like, I like, so saw that coming and all,” Christie said as she rolled her eyes.
“Well he’s got to be around here somewhere,” Jun assured, “I guess we can notify the staff and split up to look for him. My physic powers tell me he *didn’t* get too far.”
Lei was listening from inside the storage closet. “*Gulp.*”
“Well I’ll go take care of the others downstairs,” Julia suggested, “The rest of you can devise a plan while I get to *work* hehe.”
“Like, okay babe,” Christie nodded, as Julia then headed over to the elevator.
Michelle then looked at Jun, “Come on dear, I guess it’s time to get to work too, as well as also pinpointing our little detective.”
Lei then listened as the footsteps began to fade into the distance. Something was going on here. “Okaaaaay. *Babe*? *Dear*? Hmp.”
**Back to the Waiting Room**
“Aahh!!!” Everyone heard Steve Fox scream... “CRIKEY!!! BLOODY HELL AND I MEAN *BLOODY*!!!”
“Next,” Julia called out from one of the patient rooms, while holding a needle in her hand. Steve looked traumatized...
(Everyone looks scared)
She then looked at Jin and Hwoarang, who both pointed to each other. “Him!”
“Why don’t you both come?” she suggested.
Kazuya then rose from his seat on one of the several couches, “I’m coming too, this I gotta see!”
“And me,” Baek snickered.
Michelle then walked out from a neighbouring hall. “Oh, and I’ll be needing Jin when you’re done with him, as well as Kazuya, and Bryan.”
“What do you want with us...?” Kazuya asked hesitantly as he arched a brow.
Bryan, who had been pacing around the room endlessly since he had arrived after having been restrained from going back into the emergency clinic, then walked up to them. “What are you all talking about? Nothing happened to Lei, right...? Right?!!!” he said this while shaking Michelle by the shoulders.
“Seemed *fine* enough to me,” she smiled, obviously trying to piss him off.
“That’s it!” Bryan spat, “I’m going back there right NOW!!”
“NO you’re *not* Mr. Fury!!!” Michelle assured, “No one’s allowed to see him yet! It’s not safe!”
Bryan then shot her a death-glare, “Cyborgs don’t get sick you moron!!”
“Sorry,” Michelle curtly replied, “That doesn’t matter, and you’ll still be receiving your shots like the rest of us.”
“FUCK!!!!”
(Everyone turns around to see Hwoarang walking out of the patients’ clinic holding his arm in immense pain as he mutters various cuss words)
Bryan then looked back at Michelle. “Two words: Hell-no!”
She then smirked in a smart-assed manner, “If you want to see Lei at *all*, then you WILL, as well as donate your blood.”
“What??!!”
“That’s right,” Michelle deviously nodded, “You, Kazuya, and Jin all have type AB blood, which is very rare. We are in need of that particular blood type here at the hospital, and we can’t just take every last drop of Jun’s, so now we’ll be needing yours as well.”
“AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!”
(Everyone turns to see a VERY frightened Jin walk, well, run out of Julia’s room of doom...)
Bryan then looked back at Michelle once more. “I hate you.”
“Lee?” Kazuya called from across the room, as Lee then walked up.
“Yea Kaz?” he asked.
“Would you... accompany me to the blood dead, err, ‘drive’ room?”
Lee chuckled, “Of course I will.”
Jin then looked at Hwoarang, though Hwoarang spoke up before Jin could even ask his question. “Yea, I’ll come with you Jin,” he then whispered, “I don’t want to stay here anymore, anyways...” he then rubbed his bicep and cringed, before gesturing his glance to Julia...
“See, that’s not fair!” Bryan sighed to himself, “Kazuya gets Lee, while Jin gets Hwoarang, but I...”
“Just come on guys,” Michelle sighed as she led the five of them down to the blood donation room.
(A loud bang is heard from ‘Julia’s room of doom’...)
“No, no please don’t NOOO!!! AAaaaahhhh!!!!”
(Paul walks out of the room shortly afterwards, as Forest laughs)
Julia then looked at Forest while holding up a *BIG* needle. “You’re turn!”
“Yea Forest honey,” Paul smirked with wink, accompanied by a leering smile.
Forest then noticed the blood on Julia’s latex glove. “...I am SO going to *kill* Lei...”
Eddy and Tiger were sitting on one of the many couches, while Eddy looked narrowly at the sparring matches ‘order of matches’ list. Something looked suspicious...
“Yo, Tiger?”
“Wuz snappin’ G-dog?”
“Check this out bro, look what its say’n all up in here.” He then pointed to a few matches in particular:
Bryan & Xiaoyu vs. Lei & Miharu
Lee & Hwoarang vs. Jin & Kazuya
Jun & Christie vs. Michelle & Julia
Mokujin & Jack-2 vs. Tetsujin & Gun Jack
And so on...
“Is there anything strange go’n on in here to you?” Eddy asked.
Tiger then took a closer look. “...You mean da Jacks are... you know... too?”
“..........”
Lei was walking down the hallway to finally take the elevator back to the first floor, when suddenly, the detective was stricken with another idea that had slipped his mind before. “You know, if these elevator doors should part only to reveal one of the Changs, Jun [shudders] or Christie, then this would trounce the whole rationale of me getting out of here in the first place.”
“Hmm,” he thought as he suddenly snapped his fingers. “I have an idea.”
**Five Minutes Later**
Lei had walked into a neighbouring hospital room, which had been deserted, only to come out in a white cape, as most doctors wore, a white mask to shield part of his face, and a stethoscope around his neck to top it off. He had also tucked his thick, jet-black ponytail into the back of his shirt after realizing his hair was a dead give-away.
Wulong continued to amble down the wide hallway, sighing in relief as the silver hued elevator doors once again came into view. “I hope this works...”
“Hold it right there!”
Lei rapidly turned around, “Aiya! Oh...”
“...Are you feeling okay, doctor?”
“Doctor?” Wulong asked in a puzzled tone of voice, before looking down and catching a glance at his obvious attire. “Oh, yes. I have had a... long day,” Lei replied in comment to the young male nurse.
“Doctor! Thank God!”
Lei then turned his view to the side to see yet another man, who was running down the hall rather urgently, frantically waving a clipboard around as he did so. “Dr. Mirakoni! What are you doing in the hallway at such at time when peoples’ lives are depending on you for their very survival as they know it?!”
“........Uh—”
“No time to talk, doctor! Your expertises are needed greatly! Now, or people will *die*!!”
*^*In the Blood Drive Room...*^*
“So,” Michelle began, “Who wants to go first?”
(Bryan points to Kazuya, who points to Jin, who points to Bryan.)
“...Um ok, I’ll just pick someone then. Kazuya; you can go first.”
Kazuya nodded assertively. “Fine, I can handle it!”
Lee smirked, “Yea, just like you said you could handle *that*.”
(Hwoarang, Jin, and Bryan laugh.)
“...Must you always be a smart-ass?”
“I learn from the best, Kazzy-babes,” Lee said mockingly and then pat the annoyed Mishima on the shoulder, as Kazuya loudly sighed.
“Kazzy-babes...” Jin laughed silently to himself.
Kazuya just sighed again, “Let’s just get this over with already...” he then sat down on the gurney as Michelle rubbed some disinfectant above his arteries.
“Alright,” Michelle began as she held up a clear tube with a long needle at the end, “Here it comes, now just think of a *happy* thought,” she then sang, “Any happy little thought.”
Kazuya looked frightened. “I’m not two, Chang.”
“You do sing nice, though,” Jin complemented.
“Why thank you, Jin,” Michelle smiled, “It’s nice to see that you took mostly after you mother.”
Hwoarang then started to laugh at this, “That’s the same thing I said!”
Michelle continued to smile at Jin, “Jun has suggested that I should try to get a little more involved in your life, we could become one big, happy family!”
“Damn,” Lee said as he looked down at the floor, before looking up again, “That sure would be a BIG family then...”
Michelle smiled once more, as Jin shuddered, “That’s gooooood,” she then suddenly jammed the needle into Kazuya’s arm.
“Arrghhhh... damn...” Kazuya gritted his teeth.
“Hmm, I’ve heard that before too,” Lee said slyly.
“Shut... up... Chaolan!!”
“Hey...” Lee began as a thought crossed his mind, “Michelle just succeeded in what Heihachi failed at for years: extracting your DNA.”
“Wait a minute,” Hwoarang then had an abrupt thought cross his own mind, “Wouldn’t it be pretty damn dangerous to give people Jin’s or Kazuya’s blood if it has that devil gene, thing in it?”
Michelle sweardropped. “...Oops... I guess I forgot about that little problem... oh well, that just means more from Mr. Fury here!”
“Damnit...” Bryan cursed.
Kazuya then gave Michelle an evil death-glare in the eyes, “So lets get this straight, Chang. You’re telling me that you just *stabbed* me in the arm for nothing?!”
“..........”
“Hey, Hwoarang,” Jin whispered in Hwoarang’s ear.
“Yea babe?”
“I have an idea, if you’re getting as board with this as I am...”
“And what’s that?”
Jin smiled darkly. “Hospitals are known to have a good number of storage closets.”
(Hwoarang has a flashback from the *last* time…)
“Err, I don’t know about that, Jin...”
“Oh come on,” Jin sighed, “Lee is in here,” he then licked his lower lip at the redhead whilst lowering his eyelids slightly.
“...Okay, let’s go!” Hwoarang gave his classic smirky smile as he dragged Jin out of the room, unknowingly to any of the others.
“You’re turn, Bryan Fury,” Michelle pointed to the neighbouring gurney next to Kazuya, “And we will be needing a *lot* of your blood.”
Bryan then looked at Kazuya, who appeared to be clutching onto his arm where Michelle had just *ripped* the IV need out for dear life... “It’s so wrong... what you are doing to these people,” Bryan shook his head in loathing as he sat down.
“Now, count to three,” Michelle suggested.
“...No.”
Michelle smiled *big*, “Have it your way,” she then forcefully *stabbed* the IV needle into Bryan’s arm, HARD.
**Back to the Waiting Room...**
Paul looked down the hall to where Michelle had led a few of the guys. “So, how do you think its going?”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Everyone in the waiting room then looked down toward the hall where the incredibly loud scream had just come from, which still echoed throughout the entire hospital...
“Thank GOD I don’t have type AB blood...” Forest declared, as Paul rapidly nodded in agreement, still clutching his arm from where Julia had stabbed him as well.
Meanwhile, Jin and Hwoarang are searching for a storage closet that suits their needs.
Jin eyed the one at the end of the ongoing, white hall. “Let’s try that one down there?”
“Sounds good to me,” the redhead assured with a grin. He wasn’t worried like before, they were all the way on the opposite side of the hospital, away from everyone else.
Once they made it to the door, which was rather quickly, Hwoarang then reached his hand for the doorknob as he swiftly opened it too......
“Huh?! Hwoarang!!!!”
“JIN JIN!!!”
“Oops...”
Paul and Forest suddenly ran around the corner to the hallway rather rapidly as well, and then stopped when they saw Jin and Hwoarang standing a foot in front of the open-doored storage closet.
Forest then got the picture... “Uuhh, we were just looking for the... restroom!”
Hwoarang blinked. “Forest, there’s a restroom right up front where the waiting room is.”
“......It was full...?” Paul shrugged.
They all turned their heads once more as Kazuya dragged Lee down the hallway; and around the corner to... everyone else. Kazuya then stopped dead in his tracks as he eyed his son. “Jin! The hospital is no place for such clandestine activities!”
“Then what were you doing heading over here so quickly with Lee?” Jin retorted with a brow arched.
“We were... looking for the cafeteria,” Lee promptly assured.
Hwoarang then whispered to Jin, “Well at least it’s better than Paul and F. Law’s excuse...”
“...I heard that!” Forest exclaimed.
“Hey...” Kazuya then thought of something while looking at Jin, “If you, Hwoarang, Paul, Forest, and Lee and I are all out here, than who’s in there?” he then extended his finger toward the swung open door of the large storage closet.
Xiaoyu then peeked her head out temporarily, while Miharu suddenly reached her arm out; forcefully slamming the door shut to the storage closet.
“Oh. Kids...” Kazuya sighed.
**Off to the Blood Donation Room Once More...**
“How’s it coming along in here?” Jun Kazama brightly asked as the entered through the room’s double doors to greet a very happy Michelle; and a not-so-happy Bryan.
“Just splendid, darling,” Michelle smiled.
“Oh dear,” Jun suddenly spoke as she took a better glance at Fury, “He’s beginning to look dreadfully pale.”
Michelle shrugged. “I don’t see how anyone can even tell?”
“...That’s it!” Bryan yelled as he abruptly stood up from the gurney, “If I *do* ever die again, it won’t be to likes of a scrawny bitch like you Chang! You’ve already taken at least half of my blood, so I think it’s about time I do this!” he then vehemently ripped the IV needle right out of his artery. “...Okay, so maybe I *shouldn’t* have done that...”
“..........”
Christie suddenly burst in through the flinging doors. “Guys, like, no one in the entire hospital has been able to locate Wulong Lei and— what the hell??!!”
“WHAT?!” Bryan tried to exclaim, though it came out a bit weaker...
“Christie!” Michelle sighed, “We did *not* want Mr. Fury here to know that about Lei!”
“Hey, it’s not *my* fault; you were the one supposed to be, like, watching him!!” Christie retorted.
“Hey, don’t talk to my Michelle in such a tone,” Jun interrupted.
“Well it isn’t my fault!” Christie protested, “Did anyone check outside the front? He could have, like, like jumped out the window?!”
“From the fourth story?!” Jun gasped, “Lei knows he can’t do stuff like that... but oh my gosh... it *is* a definite probability!!”
“We need to go check immediately!” Michelle confidently assured.
“Oh why...?” Jun sniffled to herself, “I never thought you would be driven into suicide, Lei... This is all your fault, Bryan Fury!!! Bryan? Bryan...?”
“..........”
“Now *this* is, like, *definitely* not my fault...” Christie murmured.
**On the Hospital’s Third Floor...*^*
“Good job, doctor!”
“Yes, xie xie, domo...” Lei sighed while hastily walking out of the delivery room. He then cringed in recollection to what he had just witnessed while pursuing the delivery of triplets... “Thank God Bryan’s not a woman; and that men don’t get pregnant,” another thought then crossed the cop’s mind directly after this statement, “Though... I’d be the one who’d have to worry about getting pregnant... I always will be his piao-liang shao chou san ba...” he smirked with a sigh.
“Dr. Mirakoni! We just got word of another patient who is in urgent need of your genius!” the male nurse yelled down the hallway, while sprinting toward the agitated Lei, “We need you to perform a pap-smear test right away! Then we need you to tie some tubes. Oh, and remove a few ovaries.”
“........Ta ma de...” Chuin-zi!
**At the Elevator Leading to the Underground Level of the Hospital of Hell*^*
“This food is gonna suck, Jin,” Hwoarang assured. He, Paul, and Forest were all heading to the hospital’s cafeteria for some hopefully not deadly food...
“Yea, you’re probably right, Hwo.”
“...You actually agreed with me?”
“Hey,” Paul suddenly spoke, “Which pairing do you think is cooler: SeiferxZell, or SeiferxSquall?”
“SeiferxSquall, duh!” Hwoarang assured.
“I disagree,” Forest responded, “I think SeiferxZell is better.”
“Does it matter?” Jin shrugged, “I like SeiferxSquall better, but many make Seifer a rapist.”
“It’s cool, though,” Paul nodded, “Just as long as Rinoa isn’t anywhere. She sucks.”
“What about Harry Potter yaoi?” Forest asked. “I vote HarryxRon.”
“And me,” Paul then gave Forest five.
“And I say HarryxDraco is the best one,” the redhead guaranteed.
Jin nodded in agreement, “And SnapexSirius.”
“You just like rival pairings,” Forest sighed.
“And you two just like friendship pairings,” Jin shot back.
Forest blinked. “You’re right... Hmp, wonder why?”
When the four stepped into the cafeteria, they noticed many of the other fighters had come up with the same idea. They then saw as Eddy Gordo hastily ran towards them, holding a piece of paper.
“Yo fellas! You need to check da thin wood chillen in my palm pronto, this is tripp’n! Someone needs a cap busted in their ass!”
“Wha...?” Jin tilted his head to the side.
“He means to look at the piece of paper, Jin,” Hwoarang informed as he took the unfolded piece of paper into grasp. “Hmm... what? Fuck’n A!”
^*^*^*^*^*^*^
A/N: And that’s more of my crazy writing for ya! Tune in next time to see how everything turns out at the Hospital of hell...
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