Only Time: Deja Vu
By J. Marie
Warning!! This is a lemon yaoi fanfiction starring Nakago and Tasuki from Fushigi Yugi. It is rated NC-17. Hey, I need Nakago pics too!! But where oh where are the Nakago shrines? *sighs and realizes she's gonna have to dig* Why do so many people hate him? I mean, just because he's evil doesn't mean you have to hate him. :) And it's a misunderstood evil. I mean, how do you think you'd turn out if you're childhood was as crappy as his? Poor little megalomaniac...
Who can say
where the road goes
where the day flows
- only time
And who can say
If your love grows
as your heart chose
- only time
Who can say
why your heart sighs
as your love flies
- only time
And who can say
why your heart cries
when your love lies
- only time
Who can say
when the roads meet
that love might be
in your heart
And who can say
when the day sleeps
If the night keeps
all your heart
Night keeps all your heart
And who can say
If your love grows
as your heart chose
- only time
Who can say
where the road goes
where the day flows
- only time
Who knows - only time
Who knows - only time
-- "Only Time" by Enya
Tasuki sat down on the living room couch, and turned on the television.
He was home. But it didn't make him feel any better. He stared blankly at the screen, none of what he saw registering. He was drowning in the poisoned waters of his soul. Everything was dark. All he could do was wallow in sadness.
Tasuki looked up from the television screen and saw his sister standing beside him. Her face was set in a concerned frown. Junko was a bitch, but knew when her little brother needed affection. There were times when she would stop her tirades and sharp reprimands and truly be the mother he had lost.
"Nothing," he said glumly, turning his face away from her.
"Bullshit. What's wrong?" Junko pressed. Blunt. To the point. Just like she taught her little brother to be.
Tasuki swallowed and closed his eyes. How could he even put the strange dark emotions he felt into words? "I.... had a bad day," he said softly.
"What happened? You got in a fight with your friends? With Chichiri?" Junko asked.
"No.... nothing like that. I just..... It's stupid," he sighed, frustrated.
"It's not stupid if it bothers you, Tasuki. Tell me," Junko sighed.
Tasuki looked up at his sister's brown eyes. Full of warmth. Full of concern. Full of comfort. "I'm stupid, aren't I?" he asked softly, sounding like a little boy. Like the little boy who would creep into her bed at night, when he would have nightmares about demons, and children dying.
Junko blinked. Normally such a question like that from Tasuki would receive a biting and sarcastic reply from her. But this wasn't the time for jokes. She knew that, intuitively, like a mother would. "No. You don't pay attention to everything, but you're not stupid. When you care, you're sharp as a tack. C'mon, Tasuki. You're my baby brother. Smarts run in our blood," Junko smiled.
"Am I ugly?"
Junko blinked. Never did she expect a question like that from Tasuki. "Tasuki... Of course not. Would I call you Dollface if you were ugly? You're beautiful! I wish I was as pretty as you are... And there's nothing wrong with a guy being pretty, either. Because you do look like a guy. It's not like Nuriko, where you have to do a double take," Junko said, confused as to what was running through her red-haired brother's mind.
"Then... what's wrong with me? Why doesn't anyone love me?" Tasuki asked, his voice breaking.
Junko pursed her lips. A million thoughts ran through her mind in the space of a second. She knew her brother was different. He was attracted to men. She knew it before Tasuki even did. Even before her yaoi doujinshi turned up missing. She also knew, as obvious as Tasuki was to her, that he had a crush on Tamahome. She wondered if Tasuki had confessed his feelings, only to have his heart broken by someone who was as straight as an arrow.
"Tasuki.... I love you. Don't I count? Even if I'm a girl?" Junko asked.
Tasuki blinked his golden eyes, and the dark emotions seemed to fade away, for the moment at least. Tears welled up in his eyes and he smiled. "You do?" he asked, tentatively.
"Of course I do! Do you think I woulda let you make it to sixteen if I didn't?" Junko grinned. Tasuki just grabbed his sister, who was far shorter than he was, and held her tight, tears seeping from his eyes. He shut them, but the tears kept coming. He couldn't entirely explain where all the sadness had came from, but he was glad that it was gone. Junko held him back, not entirely understanding what was wrong, but giving him her love.
Tasuki regained control of himself after a few minutes of silence. He was still hugging his sister, who was stroking his hair like she did when he was little. Junko had never been mean or cruel to him. She got angry easily, and exploded easily, but she had always taken care of Tasuki. She had always been there for him. Whether it was to comfort him from his bad dreams, or put a band-aid on his scraped knee, or teach him how to tie his shoelaces, Junko had always been there. She had taught him so much. And she loved him. And he loved her.
Sometimes, it was nice to have a sister who could double as your mom.
"Is this a Kodak moment?" Tasuki whispered after a while.
Junko burst into giggles, and so did he. He wiped his face, and realized that his sister even looked a little misty-eyed. She kissed his forehead maternally.
"So... what happened? You told Tamahome you liked him and freaked him out or something?" Junko asked lightly.
Tasuki turned blue, and half a dozen sweatdrops appeared on his face. "Wha....?!?!?!" he giggled nervously.
Junko gave him a suspicious look. "No? Then what happened?" she asked, crossing her arms and looking stern.
Tasuki licked his lips, blushing so furiously he was almost positive he was going to spontaneously combust. "Uh.... What makes you think I like Tamahome? Or that I like any guys, for that matter...?" he asked nervously.
Junko smirked. "Oh, please, Tasuki. I raised you. I'm actually glad you're gay. Because if you brought home some drippy little bitch, I'd kill her," she shrugged.
Tasuki sighed and hung his head. "Aw, man. You weren't suppose to know...." he sighed.
"I'm not stupid. But I really do want to know what happened."
"Nothing really. I just... I just was thinking bad thoughts. Does that make any sense?"
"Yeah. I do it, too, sometimes. But don't worry about it...."
Tasuki smiled and stood up. "My study partner is coming over at five. Wanna cook dinner for us? It's that blonde guy you were drooling over at my bus stop a couple days ago."
"Sure, sure. Study partner, eh?" Junko asked with a wicked gleam in her eye.
Tasuki sighed and planted a kiss on the top of his sister's head. "Yes. Just my study partner. Trust me. This guy is a chick magnet. We got this big project we gotta do...." Tasuki said with a sigh, and started to head out.
"Alright. But he's pretty hot. And dammit, way too young for me," Junko griped.
"Hey, sis...." Tasuki said at the living room doorway, glancing back at his older sister with a grin on his pretty face.
"Yeah?" Junko asked.
"I love you, too."
Miaka picked up the telephone receiver on the fifth ring. She had been braiding Yuiren's hair for her.
"Hello?" she asked brightly.
"Miaka! It's Keisuke!! Call Yui and Tetsuya and tell them to come over right away!! You need to come too! And bring Taka!! It's very important!! And leave Tamahome at home! And tell Yui not to bring Suboshi and Amiboshi!" Keisuke cried, sounding about to panic.
"Why? What happened? Are you okay? Is Mom okay??" Miaka asked fearfully. Yuiren was still sitting in the chair, petting their pet cat. She was watching her mother with open curiosity.
"We're both fine! It's the book! You have to come read this!! The story is erased, Miaka!! The whole story!! There's just one paragraph left!! A new one!! Hurry, okay?" Keisuke answered urgently.
Miaka swallowed, and she began to feel weak. She caught Taka's eye as he entered the room. The worry in her face caused him to rush to her side. He looked at her in concern.
"We'll be right over, Keisuke. Just hold on."
"Uh, nothing. Come on in," Junko grinned at Nakago as he entered her house.
Nakago gave the short girl before him a quick glance, his calculating mind summing her up. Her hair was long, black, and straight. Her almond-shaped eyes were brown, but glittered with the slyness of a weasel. Even though Tasuki's eyes were golden, the look in his sister's eyes was not unlike the look in his. The eyes of a hot-headed, obnoxious, loud-mouthed scrapper. Junko was a tomboy, flat out. Despite the fact that she was female, she disliked her own gender for it's apparent weakness virulently. And had apparently passed her views on to her impressionable baby brother. Junko and Tasuki looked almost nothing alike, but they're personalities were mirrors of the other. Tough on the outside, but soft on the inside.
"Nice house. What is it you do for a living?" Nakago asked airily. The house was indeed nice to be down the block from Nakago's affluent family. It was modest compared to most of the other's, even small, but still quite nice. It had a unique flavor to it. Junko had her stamp of personality on all the decorations, designed more for comfort than for looks, unlike Nakago's house. Tasuki could be seen here and there in the decorations. Nakago felt almost a twinge of jealousy. His parents never asked him what he would like to go in his own home.
"I'm a novelist. I sometimes even write stories for some manga or doujinshi, but for the most part I write books," Junko said, showing Nakago to a seat in the living room. It was a big orange chair, overstuffed and quite soft. Nakago noticed where Tasuki had written his name on the arm. Tasuki's Chair!! Sit here and die!!
"What sort of books?" Nakago asked, although he couldn't care less. He wondered how Tasuki would react to find him in his chair.
Junko smirked a bit. "Yaoi. Shounen-ai. June. Usually lemons," she said in a tone that said she amused herself by freaking out teenage boys who freaked out at the mention of male/male relations.
Nakago just shrugged, to Junko's mild surprise. "Oh. But what sort? Fantasy? Science fiction? Plain modern romance? Original, fan works, what?" he said, actually seeming mildly interested now. He enjoyed this game. Junko would find him quite the tough nut to crack.
Junko grinned slightly. "On my novels, it's always science fiction or fantasy. The yaoi is never really the focus of the story then, more like a side romance, away from the main plot. Same for the manga. For the doujinshi, it's usually fan stuff. Final Fantasy is my favorite. My boyfriend draws the pictures," she said smugly.
"Boyfriend?" Nakago asked with a raised eyebrow.
"He likes boys, too," Junko grinned.
"I see. And your brother knows this?"
"Her brother knows what??" Tasuki asked obnoxiously as he entered the room, glaring hatefully at Nakago when he realized the tall blonde was in his chair.
"You know that your sister is an evil ecchi yaoi hentai?" Nakago asked calmly, favoring Tasuki with a smug smile. He was pleased to note that all the dark emotions that had earlier plagued the sexy redhead were apparently gone. Nakago had been wondering if he should go ahead with his plan to seduce Tasuki, but the return of Tasuki's good spirits solidified his desire to get on with it. But Nakago still had his doubts.
Tasuki turned bright red. "What...?" he asked, blushing brightly. He gave Junko an alarmed look. She wasn't suppose to have told Nakago that!!
"I see that you do. That's very interesting, though," Nakago said in his calm, cold voice.
"You're not going to.... tell everyone at school, are you?" Tasuki asked in embarrassment.
"Of course, he's not," Junko said lightly. "Because if he does, then we'll tell everyone that he found this out by reading them himself, and that he slept with Kenji. And you know Kenji will back the story up."
Tasuki looked instantly relieved and grinned widely. "Kenji being...?" Nakago asked, his face taking on a sour look as he reviewed the fact that Junko knew how to threaten well.
"My boyfriend," Junko beamed. Nakago scowled.
"Heh heh. My sis learned how to cut deals in America," Tasuki grinned at Nakago.
"Now, I'm going to start dinner. You said you had a big project to work on, Tasuki, so you better get cracking. Don't make me have to beat your ass in front of all your friends just to improve your grades," Junko threatened as she headed out of the living room. Tasuki stuck his tongue out at her when she turned her back, and Nakago suppressed a chuckle at this antic.
Nakago blinked. He was actually amused. Not the sort of amusement you get at another's expense, as he usually did, but he actually found Tasuki amusing. That was odd.
"You're sitting in my chair," Tasuki said darkly when Junko was out of earshot.
"Yes, I am. It's very kind of you to let your guests sit in your favorite chair," Nakago said arrogantly as he pulled out his notebooks, and a few history books.
Tasuki snarled. No one sat in his chair but him. But if he raised a fuss, Junko would have his head on a silver platter for being rude to his guest. And she was the type to stick an apple in your mouth, after your head was resting on the silver platter. He sat down across from Nakago, and yanked out his own books.
It was going to be a long night.
The entire group sat silently with Keisuke after reading the new paragraph.
"So... Miaka and I caused a disturbance to Universe of the Four Gods world? We were the reasons why Tenkou went rampant?" Yui asked in a small voice.
"What did they mean by seishi being corrupted?" Miaka asked, looking nervously at Taka, who had remained silent the entire time.
Keisuke was dead serious. Tetsuya was pacing the room, as quiet as Taka. He had grown to love his sons, reincarnations of seishi that had been rivals for Yui's affections or not. Suboshi and Amiboshi were as important to him as his own wife. He couldn't stand the thought of anything bad happening to any of them.
"I'm not sure. I don't know if it means now, or in the past. You see, none of the Gods seishi are suppose to be evil. But most of the Seiryu Seven were. I think that's what it's referring too, but I'm not sure. Because look at their reincarnations. Not a one of them is evil," Keisuke sighed.
"But why the Seiryu Seven? Why not the Suzaku Seven?" Yui asked.
"My theory is that because it was Suzaku's turn at the cycle, and because Seiryu was almost muscling in on his territory, his seishi became corrupted. If it had been Seiryu's turn, and Suzaku's priestess had shown up outside of the cycle, it would have been the other way around," Keisuke said placidly. He sipped thoughtfully at his beer. His hands shook slightly.
"Why now? Why did it take so long?" Miaka asked, almost angrily. Either way, you looked at it, her son or her husband was involved.
"Because they're all of age. That's why now," Tetsuya finally spoke. He caught his wife's eye, and he and Yui exchanged worried glances. They both loved their twin sons.
"What do we do?" Taka finally asked. He was thinking only of his innocent son, who was practicing martial arts back at home
"Nothing. We can't do anything. I don't know what needs to be done, and the book isn't clear enough. We'll just have to trust fate, destiny, Taiitsukun, whatever, that everything turns out alright. Right now, I think things are only being set up. Powers being unlocked. If I'm right, Suzaku and Seiryu are trying to reach out to their favored seishi. And I think Genbu and Byakko, too, because that book has been glowing green and yellow now for the past ten minutes," Keisuke observed, staring at the Book of the Universe of the Four Gods, observing the alternating glow of green and yellow.
"But wait! Taikiko's father read the book while his daughter was in there!! Didn't that disrupt the cycle?" Yui pressed, tearing her eyes from the glow.
"I don't think so. I don't think it mattered that me or Tetsuya read it, Yui. I think it mattered that you and Miaka read it. No man could ever be a God's priestess. It's only the potential Mikos that matter," Keisuke sighed. He was beginning to feel like a younger, male version of Taiitsukun for this world. Having to explain everything in painful detail.
"So our children, and maybe even Taka, are never going to be able to live in peace?" Miaka asked tearfully. Taka wrapped an arm around her and drew his wife to him, comforting her.
"I don't know, Miaka.... I just don't know...." Keisuke said sadly, watching his best friend's jaw work.
"So, have the Genbu Seven and the Byakko Seven been reincarnated in this world, too?" Tetsuya asked.
"I'm wondering. I think they have been. Or at the very least, they've been reincarnated somewhere. Because if my theory is right, then all Four Gods are going to need all their seishi."
"And these four special seishi, you were speaking of? Like Nakago and Tasuki, you said? What about them?" Taka asked.
"Those four are going to have the hardest job. Most of which is figuring out what 'the most sacred power of them all' is," Keisuke swallowed. "And I pray this glow from the book means that the Gods are trying to help them find it..."
The five men and women in the room turned their eyes to the seemingly innocent book laying on Keisuke's coffee table.
The glow had stopped.
The only truly feminine thing about Junko was her ability to cook.
Nakago was almost positive he was going to going to gain ten pounds from just one meal. And Tasuki had been amazingly well-mannered throughout the meal, at least by Tasuki's standards. The redhead's obnoxious burp at the end, however, set Nakago's teeth on edge.
"Hey, that was real good, Sis!" Tasuki cried out as he licked the remainder of the chocolate cake his sister had served them off his plate. Nakago stared at the remains of his own piece, actually thinking that if Tamahome had been here, there wouldn't be anything left to eat.
"Sorry about the portions, Nakago. I know they were huge. But Tasuki's a growing boy, and I'm used to feeding bottomless pits like Tamahome," Junko giggled. Nakago noted that most of Junko's extra weight could be attributed to the fact that she ate almost as much as Tamahome did, only she wasn't as active.
"It was delicious, Junko-san. Thank you for the meal," Nakago said as she cleaned the table.
"He's so polite! You could stand to learn some manners from him," Junko said, whacking Tasuki on the back of the head. He growled at his sister, a chocolate mustache on his upper lip.
"Yeah, cuz you couldn't teach me any. When people ask me if I wuz raised by wolves, I tell 'em no. It was worse. I was raised by Junko," Tasuki growled. Junko flung her sponge at him, which missed. Tasuki made faces at her, and she began screaming loudly at him. Obscene gestures were soon applied liberally throughout the ensuing argument by both sides.
Nakago actually let himself chuckle. He found Tasuki's antics, and his hostile dynamics with the sister he obviously loved, entirely amusing. But he felt a little envy creep in. How nice it was for Tasuki to have a caring sister, even if she did yell a lot.
It made Nakago want to possess Tasuki even more. In his mind, it was as if by dominating Tasuki, he could own the qualities about the redhead he was envious of. Tasuki's easy way with people, at least with other men. Tasuki's ability to stay strong. The love that Tasuki received from people around him and didn't even know it. The brotherly love of Chichiri, the sisterly/motherly love of Junko, the friendship love of his other friends. There was even a sort of sisterly love from Miaka, Tamahome's mother. Nakago told himself that he despised Tasuki and his friends, but he was jealous of their love and friendship.
It was something he never had.
Nakago waited until the argument finished, with Tasuki on the losing side. Junko smirked and told Nakago she was taking over the living room to watch her shows, and her boyfriend was coming over. He and Tasuki would have to take their studies to the bedroom. And if Nakago wished to spend the night, that was fine with her if his parents didn't mind. Nakago resisted the urge to smirk at the convenience Junko offered him and didn't know it.
Or did she?
Nakago knew Junko was clever. It was obvious from the way she looked at people. The tall blonde wondered if the petite Japanese girl was subtly encouraging Nakago to seduce her own brother. But Nakago was sure it was for other reasons than his own, if that was the case.
"So, basically, you're saying you don't want us little ecchi teenagers messing up your chance to get laid," Tasuki said, interrupting Nakago's train of thought.
"Exactly. Now go upstairs, and go study, fer chrissakes, and get out of my bloody hair!!!" Junko hollered, waving a large spoon at Tasuki.
Nakago stood up. "As you wish, Junko-san," Nakago bowed, hiding his smirk. Tasuki sighed and got up, washing his hands and face off before going to grab his stuff to study upstairs.
Nakago grinned as he followed Tasuki to the redhead's bedroom. It was a cold grin, a grin a dragon would give you before devouring your village.
This would be too easy for him.
"So, alright, I give. You got all these armies and all your great strategies and plans. Fine. You'd eventually catch me. Fine. What then?" Tasuki snarled, his golden eyes narrowed in irritation. Nakago's logic was beginning to piss him off.
Nakago smirked. They were in Tasuki's bedroom, which was decorated in loud colors and had a lot of red. Dozens of posters of J-Rock stars, anime characters, and videogame characters littered Tasuki's walls. His large bed, covered in red pillows and orange sheets was in complete disarray. Nakago had plans to wind up on that bed, but he hoped Tasuki cleaned his sheets once in a while. Tasuki's clothes were scattered around the room, and his furniture and collections were covered in dust. Nakago doubted Tasuki ever cleaned. Nakago found the room a shock to his sensibilities, as his own room, decorated in subdued colors, mostly blue, was spotless and organized.
"Well, you'd be thrown in jail to cool off for a couple days. Then I'd have you brought in for interrogation," Nakago said patiently.
Tasuki rolled his eyes. "Okay, so what would you interrogate me about?" he asked hotly. He looked close to exploding. And it had absolutely nothing to do with the fate of his bandit character. Nakago had started back in on him the moment they were alone.
When Tasuki was opening his door, Nakago had bumped into him, saying he tripped on the carpet. Nakago, the picture of grace, had tripped. That didn't sit well with Tasuki, who also suspected that when Nakago's hand had brushed his ass, it was not trying to steady himself. Tasuki also doubted the veracity of Nakago's accidental spill of his drink on his white shirt, causing him to take it off. Junko was washing it downstairs, but Nakago had refused the need for one of Tasuki's shirts, saying it was too hot anyways. Tasuki had to force himself not to stare at Nakago's perfect chest. And Nakago was sitting too close. Way too close.
"The usual, at first. You'd be at my mercy, so I'd want a little of your background. Like information about your family," Nakago said in a rather breathy tone, getting closer to Tasuki, who found himself staring at the curve of Nakago's pectorals again.
"What would that have to do with anything? And what makes you think I'd tell you?" Tasuki said uncomfortably, forcing himself to meet Nakago's true blue eyes. The coldness was gone, and his eyes were so vibrant, yet despite the lack of coldness, there was still no warmth.
"Well, you'd be tied up," Nakago sneered, his eyes wandering Tasuki's body without shame. "Chained to a wall in the dungeon. You'd be wearing your pants, and nothing else. And I would have a whip."
"Let me guess, if I didn't tell you, you'd whip me," Tasuki sighed. Something nagged at the back of his head about the whip.
"Exactly. And being whipped would be quite painful," Nakago said as his smile faltered. This scenario sounded familiar to him, frightening familiar to him. But it wouldn't involve Tasuki. For some reason, a half-faded memory of Tamahome chained up while Nakago whipped him formed. It brought unpleasant feelings of guilt, although there was no remorse from Nakago in the memory, if it could be called that.
"So I would eventually crack. Whatever. I couldn't care less about my real family, so I'd tell you about my overbearing mother with her large breasts, and my five bossy older sisters. I'd even encourage you to find them and whip them too," Tasuki shrugged.
"So we'd be getting somewhere. Then I'd proceed to question you about your bandit friends," Nakago said calmly, shaking the strange emotions and strange memory away.
"You wouldn't get anywhere. I wouldn't tell you. No matter what. You could whip me till I bleed, and I still wouldn't betray my friends. Ever," Tasuki growled.
This was even more familiar ground. Nakago narrowed his eyes. "Then you'd be the first to receive my punishment, Tasuki. Would you really want that sort of reputation?" he asked dangerously, not even consciously realizing what he was saying.
It was Tasuki's turn to look startled. A memory of seeing Nakago before his friends, telling Tasuki that he was now a god, and if Tasuki continued to resist him, then Tasuki would be the first to receive this god's punishment. Fear and anger mixed around in his head, until he shook the half-formed memory from him.
Nakago had a strange expression on his face, mirrored by Tasuki's. "Maybe we shouldn't discuss the interrogation. Maybe we should go back to working on our character's origin's," Nakago said oddly, his face pale.
Tasuki, however, pressed the issue. "Would you really whip until I bled? Would you kill me if I didn't betray my friends?" Tasuki asked, eyeing Nakago cautiously, moving away from the tall blonde.
Nakago was still pale. In the flash of his mind he saw Tasuki throwing a sword at him. Hotohori rushing him, holy sword drawn. Tamahome ripping his chest open and holding Nakago's heart in his hand. Chichiri holding a staff, breaking his barrier, nearly at the cost of his own life. Tasuki and Chichiri preparing to battle him, even if it meant their lives. He saw........
And Tasuki saw it, too. The shocked look on his face told all.
What was going on?
Nakago turned his face. Why did Tasuki and his friends hate him so much? What had he done that was so bad?
Tasuki wavered. He saw Nakago sitting before him. But he saw two people. One was a heartless murderer, and the other was just an arrogant, selfish young man.
"No. I wouldn't. The person I created for this project would. But I'm not him, okay? I'm not really him," Nakago said softly, almost as if he was trying to convince himself.
Tasuki blinked, and it was as if a spell had been broken. He smiled slightly, and put a hand on Nakago's shoulder. "I believe you," he said more confidently than he felt.
Nakago blinked. The spell, if that was what he had been under, broke for him, too. Tasuki's confidence in him was surprising. Was Tasuki really that trusting?
"Let's just start from the beginning then. I'll work on my character, you work on yours...." Nakago swallowed, and moved back away from Tasuki, picking up a notepad and a textbook while he did so. Tasuki found one of his red beanbag chairs to rest on, and began quietly working on his character as well.
Sexual tension was easily replaced by real tension.
Tasuki stirred awake, and realized he'd fallen asleep studying. He frowned. He'd never actually studied long enough to fall asleep doing it. He looked over at the other end of his room, where Nakago was also dozing. The redhead glanced at his clock. It was past midnight.
"Shit.... Good thing tomorrow's Saturday.... Hey, Nakago, it's almost 2 am!" Tasuki said loudly. The blonde snapped awake, blinking the sleep from his eyes.
"Is it that late already?" Nakago asked drowsily, rubbing his eyes. The act was so normal, that it made Tasuki smile. He didn't know Nakago could act human.
"Yeah... Well, my sis said you could stay over if you wanted... Wouldn't recommend the couch, though. Knowing my ecchi sister, she and her weirdo boyfriend are probably watching porn down there," Tasuki yawned, standing up to stretch. The quiet hours they had not talking or interacting with the other had seemed to calm them both down.
"Then where am I suppose to sleep? Your bed?" Nakago asked rhetorically, not feeling like driving home, but not seeing much of a choice. His desire to seduce Tasuki had been flattened by the odd episode he'd had earlier.
"You can if you want," Tasuki shrugged. "Just don't get frisky with me under the covers."
"Don't flatter yourself, Fang Boy," Nakago snorted, although a few hours ago, that had been just his intention. Now is desire to possess and dominate Tasuki was gone.
Tasuki bared his teeth, flashing his prominent canines. "It's a king size, so even a giant like you can keep to your side," Tasuki said, ignoring the insult and the nickname. He had gotten use to Fang Boy over the years. It wasnít as bad as Dollface.
"You do wash your bedsheets, right?" Nakago asked suspiciously as he rose. Tasuki was stripping down to his boxers and getting in his bed, prepared to turn off the light. Sleepiness had made his sense of shame disappear, and his own sex drive was stalled due to their odd episode earlier.
"Once a week. Either get in, or go home. Sleep on the floor. I don't care. I'm tired," Tasuki grouched, snapping the light in his room off and curling up under his covers.
Nakago sighed. He was also tired, and a small part of him didn't want to sleep alone. He stripped down to his boxers as well, folding his pants neatly by his books. He climbed into the bed, making sure nothing would jump out at him. He was relieved not to find any wet spots, and the bed smelled more like detergent than anything else. Nakago rested his head on one of the numerous red pillows, wondering why Tasuki had so many.
Tasuki's breathing was even, and Nakago was surprised to discover that Tasuki was already fast asleep. The redhead was curled up on his side, facing away from Nakago. The blonde found his eyes resting on Tasuki's pale back, and the tumble of his fiery red hair. Despite Nakago's exhaustion, he could not sleep. His thoughts kept turning back to the strange emotions and visions he had, and how easily Tasuki had accepted his promise that he would never really hurt anyone. Surely it couldn't be that easy.
There was distrust and mild dislike for Nakago in Tasuki, but the blonde sensed no real hostility. Tasuki was temperamental, and hotheaded, but he didn't hate anyone. It was odd, to Nakago, who was so good at hating people. Tasuki acted nothing like Nakago's circle of "friends". On reflection, Nakago had no friends. He had flunkies, really. Not a one of his "friends" would he trust with anything that came from his heart. Never would he discuss his feelings with any of them. Sometimes he spoke to Tomo about his plans, because Tomo was clever. But even Soi was not worthy of Nakago's trust. She worshipped him. Loved him. Would even die for him, if he asked. But Nakago did not love Soi. Her ready submissiveness, and her deference to him actually made him want to sneer. Nakago found Soi to be pathetic and foolish.
But Tasuki wasn't like the rest of Tasukiís own goody-goody friends. He didn't think or act like them. He had his morals, and his ethics, but they were nothing like those of say, Tamahome, who had a strong sense of right and wrong. Tasuki wasn't afraid to break the rules, and do his own thing. He never judged Nakago. He didn't act like he was better than Nakago because he had Japanese blood in him, and was Nakago was of pure American stock, although that might be because Tasuki was half-American himself. He didn't act like he was better than Nakago, or condemn Nakago's cold-hearted actions. He might disagree, but he never acted as self-righteous as Tamahome or Nuriko. He didn't automatically assume the worst of Nakago. Nakago found that refreshing. He almost choked under the disapproval he received from Tasukiís friends. Which fueled Nakagoís heated rivalry with them.
Tasuki was so passionate. Nakago was cool and calm. It was hard for him to get emotionally worked up about anything. He had deadened his emotions long ago. If someone told Nakago that fifteen children had died in a plane crash, Nakago would shrug and never give the tragedy a second thought. He would never cry at his adopted mother's funeral. He would never let himself get whipped until he bled, just to protect his friends. Tasuki's compassion was fascinating to Nakago. His endlessly shifting emotions were so different from Nakago's disturbing self-control.
And then Nakago began to wonder why he was thinking about these things. Why did it matter? Did he like Tasuki? That couldn't be it. Nakago didn't care about anyone but himself. No one would watch out for him, so he had to watch out for himself. He couldn't possibly like such an immature, rude, and obnoxious boy.
Tasuki muttered something in his sleep, rolling over on his back. Nakago studied the sleeping redhead's form. Strands of fiery hair were strewn across his doll-like face, making Tasuki seem almost seductive in his sleep. His mouth hung open, making loud snoring noises, which almost ruined the effect of his hair. One of his arms was thrown over his head, and the other rested peacefully on his smooth, toned chest. It was the same strange sultry adorableness that Nakago had noticed before.
Nakago licked his lips, his sexual desire returning to him. It wasn't the same sexual desire he had before, where it was partially a desire to dominate, possess, and conquer the redhead. It was just desire. Simple physical attraction. Simple physical attraction that burned through all of Nakago's senses. Lust took away any thought of sleep or rest from Nakago's mind. Tasuki was beautiful. Nakago wanted him.
And Nakago always got what he wanted.
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