Disclaimer: Not mine...anyone want to give them to me?
Feedback: Yes, please!
Part 21 - Confrontations...
Squall looked terrified at the thought of taking me. I couldn't keep the laughter from coming out, and for the first time in a long time, I laughed.
"Relax, baby," I said, "I was only joking."
Perhaps one day I will let Squall take me, but right now I don't know if I'd be able to do that. I had a slight issue with control, and while Squall owns my heart and soul, taking me is a whole other issue.
I kissed him tenderly on the lips, before I smiled and said, "We'd better head back."
Squall nodded and we walked back to Garden, hand-in-hand.
Once we arrived back at the Garden, we ran into Ryuichi who was standing near the front gate, waving at a red car that was pulling out of the driveway. Squall stopped in front of him, while I tried to see who was in the car that was driving away. There was a slim form hanging out of the window from the waist up, waving at Ryuichi with as much energy as Selphie. His hair was a bright-pink, so I assumed he was a member of the band, "Bad Luck".
"Squall-san!" Ryuichi exclaimed.
I winced and turned around to see Ryuichi glomping onto my smaller lover. His arms were wrapped around Squall's shoulders, the side of his face was pressed against his chest, and there was a bright and cheery smile on his face.
I was seething as I reached for Squall and pulled him towards me.
"Mine," was the only word my anger-filled mind could come up with.
Ryuichi blinked up at me with an innocent expression on his face.
I scowled and refused to fall for the adorable expression.
Squall was the only one who could affect me that way.
"Ne, Squall-san?" Ryuichi said, choosing to ignore me, "Nida-san wa, doko kara kimashitaka?"
'What the hell did he just say?!?' I thought.
". . . I don't know," Squall answered, while I sizzled at not knowing what Ryuichi had said. The only word I caught in that sentence was 'Nida'.
"Oh. . ." said Ryuichi, thoughtfully.
"Why?" Squall asked.
"Anou, he not happy," Ryuichi said.
"Who cares?" I growled, "And what the hell did you say to Squall?"
"He wanted to know where Nida was," Squall said.
"Oh," I said intelligently. "Who cares if Nida is happy or not?"
"He no leave room," Ryuichi said, looking at the ground, "Kumagoro feels guilty."
"What? Who the hell is Kumagoro?" I asked.
Ryuichi held up the pink doll I had seen him with earlier. Upon closer inspection, it looked like a rabbit with long, floppy ears. Ryuichi frowned, his eyes glassing over with what looked like tears and said, "Kumagoro sad because he help print pictures of Nida-san. Now, Nida no like come out of room." 
'Oh brother,' I thought with a roll of my eyes.
To my surprise, however, Squall said, "I'll talk to him."
"What?!?!?" I exclaimed.
Squall looked away and said, "I need to apologize to him."
"For what? You didn't do shit to him." I stared at Squall in disbelief as he nibbled on his lower lip. "I haven't heard an apology from Nida yet."
". . . . ." Squall looked towards the Garden as if he were frightened. Then he said, "He doesn't need to apologize. . ."
Squall walked through the front gates, probably on his way to find Nida. I scowled and ran after him, leaving Ryuichi and Kuma-whatever to themselves. He seemed to have forgotten about us, anyway. Ryuichi had sat down on the steps and started a conversation with the pink doll.
"Squall, wait!" I shouted as I ran to catch up with him. "There's no reason for you to apologize, baby."
"Maybe I don't need to apologize," he said slowly, "but I want to make things. . . right. . . between us."
"Why do you still care?" I frowned, crossing my arms over my chest. "All Nida did was manipulate you."
"There has to be a reason for it," Squall said, refusing to meet my eyes.
"Because he wants me," I answered.
Squall shook his head. "No, there has to be more than that."
"What are you saying? I'm not good enough to be fought over?" I immediately regretted my words when a look of hurt passed over Squall's features. "I was just kidding, baby."
Squall nodded, "I know. . ."
I brought Squall into my arms and gave him a hug. I mentally kicked myself in the ass for my stupidity. Squall was still sensitive towards our relationship; he needed more time to get back to himself. I kissed the top of his head and mumbled, "I'm sorry."
"I'll meet you in the cafeteria later, okay?" he said.
"You don't want me to come with you?" I didn't trust Squall being alone with Nida at all. Who knows what that manipulative bitch could do to him.
"I can take care of it," he assured me. "I'm not weak, you know."
"Of course you're not weak," I agreed.
Squall was emotionally weak, though.
"I'll see you later," he said, standing on his tiptoes to press a kiss against my cheek.
I watched as Squall began heading towards the dormitory. Once he disappeared, I sucked in a deep breath and decided to take a shower. After that, I could just wait in the cafeteria for Squally-boy.
| Squall |
I stood in front of Nida's door with my hand raised in the air, ready to knock.
'What am I doing here?' I asked myself.
Physically, I knew I could protect myself from Nida, but there was something about him that made me uneasy. It seemed that Nida knew how to hurt me.
I didn't want to be hurt anymore.
I knocked on his door, tentatively.
If I made things right between Nida and I, maybe we could become friends again. . .
"Who is it?" came a distorted voice from behind the door.
". . . Squall," I said quietly.
Almost immediately, the door swung open. I blinked at the sight of Nida standing in the doorway. His eyes were red and bloodshot; his face was drawn; and there were dark circles around his eyes.
"What do you want, _commander_?" Nida growled.
I opened my mouth to speak, but no sound came out. An unknown fear began to coil in my belly. I couldn't understand why Nida affected me like this.
"Well?" Nida said in irritation.
"I-I," I swallowed nervously and looked at the ground, "I'm sorry. . ."
"You're sorry?" Nida repeated, spitting the words out with venom.
"Fuck you, Squall," Nida snapped, "I don't need your fucking sympathy."
". . .Why?" I swallowed again, trying to find the courage that had abandoned me, "Why do you. . . hate me?"
Nida rolled his eyes, but a smirk began forming on his face, "Does that hurt your feelings, _commander_?" He studied me for a moment, his smirk growing wider, "I guess Seifer took more than your ass," he said, "It looks like he took your balls as well. Have you decided that being a woman is your true calling?"
I backed away from Nida, a little. There was something about Nida that reminded me of the Seifer that I had grown up with. I frowned and gave a startled gasp when Nida grabbed the front of my shirt and pulled me into his room.
"Don't try to act like such a saint, you fuck," he growled, slamming me against the wall. "You have everything that people only dream about, and you don't appreciate _any_ of it." Nida brought his face close to mine - so close I could feel his breath against my lips. "You have friends, family, fame, a man who loves you. Yet, you don't appreciate any of it. You weren't the only one who helped save the world, you know."
I stared at Nida as the truth began to come out.
"Everyone was cast in your shadow after the war," he continued, "You were the hero; the one and only person who saved the world." Nida snorted. "Yeah, right. I've always stood in the shadow of you and your friends. Do you know what people call me in the Garden? They don't even know my name. They refer to me as 'The Pilot of Balamb Garden'," he spat. "But that was okay; I didn't mind. You had Rinoa, I was happy. You helped save the world from Time Compression, I was happy. You found your father, I was happy. None of that shit bothered me, until you took the only thing I wanted!" 
Nida made a move to punch my face, but I raised my hand in time and caught his fist. He looked startled for a moment, and then he narrowed his eyes. "You don't appreciate anything that you have," he spat, "You don't deserve Seifer."
"I know I don't deserve him," I said, startling us both. "I just. . ."
"You just what? You have to have everything that makes other people happy? You saw what Seifer had to offer through me, so you spread your legs open like a whore and fucked him?"
Nida's words stung and I looked away from his piercing eyes.
"N-No, I. . ." I tried to find the words I wanted to express, but Nida's mind was moving faster.
"You have to make everyone as miserable as you are? You have to be the center of everyone's attention? What, is your fame as a world hero dying out? Do you want to stir controversy around the world now, just for a little spotlight?"
"Controversy?" I asked, confused.
Nida rolled his eyes. "Don't play sweet and innocent to me, Squall. I know you're a dirty slut who'll do anything for a good fuck. You just want to stir controversy over the world by having people discuss your new homosexual relationship."
"That's not true," I said.
"Oh, please, Squall. Did you discover that you liked boys' overnight? The last I heard, you jumped into outer space to save a girl. Unless, there's something about Rinoa I'm not aware of," he said.
"Nida, I - "
"Just admit it, Squall. You're just a dirty whore."
I looked at the ground and released Nida's hand. My bangs fell over my eyes, hiding my face from Nida's view. It may be true that I'm a dirty whore, but Seifer makes me feel as if I'm beautiful. He treats me like I'm a jewel that needs to be cherished.
That's all that matters.
"I'm sorry for ruining your relationship with Seifer, but. . . if you really love him, shouldn't you be happy for him?" I asked. "I. . . I think I've made him happy. . . for now."
"For _now_?" Nida said, raising his voice. "What, are you going to dump him once something better comes along?"
I frowned and said, "No. . . that's not what I meant."
"Then what?" Nida demanded.
". . . Seifer is bound to get tired of me," I said quietly.
"What?!?!?" Nida exclaimed incredulously. "Do you expect me to believe that?!?!? You expect Seifer to get tired of you? Jesus, Squall, are you fishing for compliments here? Why would Seifer get tired of the 'Almighty-Sexy-Commander'?"
I lifted my eyes and stared at Nida.
For a long moment all we did was look at each other. Then Nida said, "You really _are_ clueless, aren't you?"
I was confused again.
Nida chuckled, but there was no longer any malice to his voice. "And here I thought it was just an act," Nida said, shaking his head, but still laughing a little.
"What was an act?"
What was he talking about? And why was he laughing at me?
Once his chuckles died down, Nida looked at me, and a genuine smile crossed over his lips. It was the first time I'd seen him smile like that in a long time.
"Do you love Seifer?" he asked.
After a moments hesitation, I nodded.
"Good," he said, "You'd better take care of him."
"I-I don't understand," I said slowly. "Aren't you mad at me?"
Nida sighed and stepped back, sitting on the edge of his bed. "I was. . ." he said, "but, I thought it was just you looking for happiness. It's stupid, I know, but I thought since you saw Seifer and I together, you realized that Seifer had so much to offer."
"I thought you just spread your legs for him, hoping to seduce him. Seifer explained to me that you were looking for someone to 'teach' you. Of course, I didn't believe it. I thought it was just an act to get Seifer to fall in love with you," he said. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry."
I was a bit confused at this turn of events, but I felt an unknown weight lift from my shoulders upon hearing Nida's words, and seeing his genuine smile.
"I'm sorry I ruined your relationship," I said.
Nida shook his head. "You didn't ruin anything, Squall. Seifer has never loved me. . . our relationship had been completely physical," he sighed. "Besides, you deserve him more than I do."
"Forget what I said earlier, Squall. You're one of the sweetest guys I ever met, even though you're a cold prick on the outside."
"It's true, though. I haven't appreciated anything I have."
"Squall," Nida said, looking at me sharply, "There's nothing in your life that you don't appreciate. You care for your friends, even though it's hard for you to show it. You love Seifer and you'll provide more for him than I ever could. You risked your life to save the world. And even though you don't speak to your father much, it's understandable. How can you start a relationship with a man who abandoned you when you were little? You've been offered nothing but shit in your life, and you deserve all the happiness that comes your way."
I swallowed as I felt a lump form in my throat.
I was undeserving of Nida's sympathy.
"Friends?" Nida asked with a wry smile on his lips.
"I-I don't deserve your friendship."
"Don't be ridiculous, Squall. You have every right to hate my guts."
"But I took the only thing you've ever wanted."
"Oh, please. Seifer's great, but he's not _that_ great," Nida said, though there were tears in his eyes. "Let's just put this behind us."
I looked at Nida, noticing the genuine understanding in his eyes. Then I offered my own, soft smile, saying, "Ok."
To be continued. . .
 Ryu-chan is speaking more Pidgin-English than broken English. . . ^^;;
 In the beginning of the game, after Squall and the others passed the SeeD Exam, Headmaster Cid told Nida something like, "Do your best, even if you don't stand out."
AN: This is much better than the last chapter. Hopefully, I made Nida likeable again. ^_~
Return to Archive | next | previous