Notes: Well, I suppose it's kind of like a sequel to Would You Like a Souvenir. I mean, It's the same Tonberry, who, unfortunately is carted back to Balamb Garden by Selphie. So, here goes! Life for a Ton who's sort of like a pet.

Life in the Thing That Smacks Into Things

Chapter 1 - The People

By WanderingTonberry

Sometimes...I wonder whether or not getting knocked unconscious from hugs and carted back to this... 'Garden', was such a bad thing. I mean, sure I was kidnapped daylight, but perhaps it was for the better. Why? No more weed picking for me! Not to mention I got to wear something that wasn't brown...Even if I did look a bit ridiculous in it.

When I had regained consciousness, I was in the room that belonged to the female who had squeezed the living daylights out of me. Selphie, her name was. She was nice though. Always had a good supply of sweets on hand. I found myself becoming increasingly fond of these things called 'Twinkies'.

Anyway, about my clothes. To begin with, I only had the brown robe I was abducted in. The hyper girl thought I needed something that wasn't so drab. I didn't want to walk around naked, so I agreed. What was it? Well, again, I'm not too sure. She calls them 'shorts'. They end right above my feet and there's a hole in the back so my tail could fit through. They were actually pretty comfortable. She also made me a little shirt. I thought I was going to die when I saw it. Do you remember what I said about souvenirs? Well...She put one of those annoying catch phrases on it. So in the end, I was stuck wearing yellow shorts, and a white shirt that said "My buddy went to Cetra and all I got was this lousy T-shirt."

I didn't die from shame, amazingly. It seemed that people were rather taken with me. The females of their race, at least. I think the males resented all the attention I was getting. It wasn't unusual to be scooped up and cuddled when all I was doing was climbing up on the water fountain for a drink. I often heard comments like, "Those adorable little shorts bring out your eyes so well!" or "That shirt is so funny! It matches you down to your skin!" Was it because the letters were in green stitching? Oh well.

The two male members of the party that I had run into seemed to take just a strong liking to me as most of the female population had. I was well known around the 'Garden' (I still think it's a nuisance. We hit a barn yesterday). I can't count how many times I was hurtled into the laps of adoring fans when it smacked into something. I guess I was popular. Heehee.

Anyway, I became somewhat like a mascot to Selphie's group of friends. Well, her main group of buddies. It seemed she was friends with just about everyone! I mean, it's amazing how she can say 'hi' to everyone in the hallways without getting weird looks. Then again, I can't even really lift a paw without being scooped up by one of the students or instructors.

Well, back to her group of friends. They were a weird bunch. Sure they were nice, always pampering me (especially the small blonde, his name is Zell I'm told) but they all have such weird personality quarks. Shall we elaborate a little?

Let's start with Selphie herself. She has so much energy, it's hard to believe. Personally, I think it has something to do with all the Mountain Dew and Hostess Desserts she eats...I could be wrong. She's neat, though. She gave me my own little bed next to hers. Sheets, pillows and all!

Next, the pseudo cowboy... I believe his name was Irvine. He seemed kind of like the big Ton. Why? Well, he just seemed to want to mate with everyone! I liked him, even if he was distracted half the time with whoever was walking by. More often than not I'd steal his hat from him. I liked it! Made me look rather...dashing. The way I could tilt it up just a little and you could catch the gleam in my eyes...Just sexy.

Well, let's talk about the next person on the list. The instructor, Quistis. She was really kind to me, scratching where I never really could seem to reach. I think she's mating with that nice girl I met several days ago...Now what was her name...? Xu? I think that was it. She's really nice too, but I'll get to her later.

The next person on my list would have to be their leader, Squall. He always seemed so quiet, but I always prided myself in making him laugh. It really didn't take all that much. The first time was easy. I stuck two straws up my nose and started wavering around like a Grat. He thought it was priceless. Then again, I had never seen his pale skin turn so red...

Then there was Zell. He laughed at basically everything. I think that's why everyone liked him so much. He made you feel good about yourself. He's cozy with the taller blonde I think. I mean, they're always fighting, but I catch them snuggling when I spend the night in their room. I also like Zell's tattoo... It looks just like the great dragon Bahamut, doesn't it?

Next, we have Zell's secret mate, Seifer. He's the one I stabbed back at the ruins. Though he's somewhat of a bastard, he's actually really cool when he's not showing off. He even spars with me. Not something many students are willing to do. I think I kind of hurt him the last round... I hadn't honestly thought he would have tripped and fell on his rear when I was counterattacking! I wasn't my fault...Heehehee...Honest! That lantern appeared by itself! And the whole setting his clothes on fire? Pure Coincidence. Heh. He wasn't too angry though. I had gotten the soot marks out of his pants.

Was I forgetting anyone before I move on to those outside of the group...? Ah yes...Squall's horribly annoying girlfriend. She was so...clingy. She was a sorceress too. But not a very good one... I think I went into a seizure the first time I heard her laugh. Not to mention the fact that my cup had exploded into little bits of ceramic when she squealed. That first time I had heard her go, "Squuuuuuuuuuaaaaallie-poooooooooo" I had lost my favorite cup. Now I make a note to put warding on my glasses and cups whenever she's around.

Well, moving to those who aren't usually in the group, we have Xu. She's a pretty lady. I'm not exactly sure what she does around the 'Garden' but she always seems to have time to give me a piggy-back ride around the Bridge. I liked her.

Finally, we have Nida. He was a nice guy, I guess. He flies this big monstrosity. I feel kind of sorry for him... I have this feeling he has a crush on the commander. But he's with that...THING. Rinoa...I really didn't like her. Perhaps I'd work a little of my Tonberry magic and hook them up. All I needed was the right moment...

Well, maybe I'd explain the different parts of this flying hulk of a building later...I had plans to make! Tonberry match-making services were now open for business!

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