Disclaimer: Characters property of Square Soft. This fic is not for profit.
By Race Ulfson
Seifer threw me back onto the bed and rolled in with me. I was still trying to hit him. He crushed me to him, pinning my hands, holding me still.
He said, "What have they done to you?"
I was crying. I guess I was hysterical. The physical stress, the drugs... or lack of.
I told him, "I did what they wanted. I was a good boy! I made it to the goal. There was no happy ending. You didn't come back. I'm still alone!"
"You're not alone. I'm here."
"Yes, I am. You're going to leave me, too. Don't take Shiva... I can't stand being alone!"
Seifer rolled us both over and arranged me so I was lying more comfortably on top of him. He cuddled me close and rubbed my back. It felt... safe.
Seifer had no illusions about me. I didn't have to live up to being The Great Hero around him. He'd kicked my ass too many times to lose respect for me now.
I told him everything.
I told him how scared I'd been through the whole Ultimecia Thing. How it left a darkness inside me I couldn't get away from.
How the weight of Their respect was crushing me. I was becoming deformed, shaped to others' expectations. The wildness I sought when I escaped from them, the fuck clubs, the drinking.
I told Seifer about how I failed everyone. I couldn't make Rinoa, my father, myself happy.
I told him about the suicide attempts.
Seifer said nothing, just listened and rubbed circles on my back. Sometimes his arms would tighten briefly around me and his hands would stop their soothing. Then he would take a deep breath and start again. His hands were so warm on my skin. Without meaning to, I was slowly relaxing.
I told him how we'd been forced to turn the GF's in after the war because they were dangerous to us and we were dangerous with them. I became so depressed Zell stole Shiva back and gave her to me.
"Zell is a good friend," Seifer said.
"Zell would back me if I suggested putting small children on the breakfast menu. He's part of the problem. Zell... he was there, too, but somehow I ended up The Great Hero. He worships me. I let him down all the time."
"You think he disapproves of your lifestyle?"
"Hyne, yes. You should have seen his face when he fetched me out of that club in Esther. It's not the homosexuality, it's the blind casual fucking. And all the rest. Zell says it's self destructive." I smiled a little. "He knows he can't stop me, so he does damage control."
Seifer made a noncommital noise. I wiped my eyes. At least my nose wasn't running. I rested my head on Seifer's chest and listened to his heart beat for a while.
"Please don't take Shiva."
Seifer rolled me back to the helpless position. "Just disjunction while I cast. You can have her right back."
Obediently I set Shiva aside, ignoring the rush of loss that washed over me. Seifer put his hands on my legs and cast curaga after curaga. I lay there blinking back tears. I was sure Seifer would send me back to the Garden now that I no longer needed him.
He ran his hands over me again. I could feel the magic seeking and prying. Gently, Seifer removed the last of the Hospital Things and the tape. He whispered one more cure and all the pain was gone.
I brought Shiva back and welcomed her in a relieved rush. "What about the casts?"
Seifer rubbed my legs just above the casts. He smirked at me. "If I take them off you won't be helpless anymore."
The shivery targeted feeling came back. "I thought that was the idea."
"Maybe." Seifer moved his hand to between my legs.
I was instantly hard. "Seifer!" I protested, but I didn't push him away.
He flashed me the patented Almasy smirk. Seifer reached up under me, grabbing me by the hips, and hauled me a short ways towards the foot of the bed. The mushiness of the bed and the weight of the casts pushed up a bubble behind my lower back. Now that the pain was gone I used the bubble to help me lean up on my elbows to look at Seifer.
I'm not into foreplay. When I want to fuck, I want to fuck now. I don't need to be primed or loosened up. If it hurts, I'll deal with it. But what he was doing was incredible. I thought, he can do that forever.
My body suddenly decided no, it wanted more right now.
"Seifer..." I shivered and squirmed under his hands. "Seifer..." I tried to buck my hips up to him to give him the hint. That's when I realized that with these casts on, there was no way. I couldn't bend my knees. I couldn't get my legs spread wide enough, my ass up enough. "Seifer," I said, my voice getting rough, "It's not going to work!"
He paused. "Seducing you? I dunno, seems to be working fine."
"I'm not going to fuck you."
"I sure as Hyne can't do you like this!"
Seifer laughed and kissed my belly. "Do you seriously think you are ever gonna be in enough control here to fuck me?" He licked my navel before going back to what he'd been doing.
I tried to think of some way to make him give me more, but Seifer was right, he was the one in control. I lay back, arms stretched over my head. The bed arched me up. My body was bowed up, offered to him.
Seifer took my submission and gently kissed what was within reach - my nipples, my chest, my belly, hips... everything but what I wanted.
"Seifer," I growled.
He brushed my face. I captured one of his fingers and bit it, showing my frustration at too much gentleness.
All the pleasures stopped abruptly.
I writhed and sulked but was finally forced to apologize. "Sorry."
He put his hand back over my face. This time I sucked his fingers while he used his other hand to heat me back up to where I'd been before. Seifer reclaimed his fingers and slid one up inside me. He found the sweet spot right away, making me thrash.
Seifer held me down and rocked my hips on the waterbed, stroking my spot until I was ready to start screaming. I wanted to grab his golden hair and force him to do what I needed, but I was afraid of spoiling the perfect position he'd gotten me into.
Finally, Seifer lowered his mouth to my cock. I would have come instantly but he wouldn't let me. Instead, the pleasure built until I was almost mad with it. I think I was screaming his name. I know I was begging. Then...
Seifer kissed me and pet me and held me until I could move and think again. That would have been a good point for time compression. If you have to spend a thousand years doing something, that had my vote.
Too soon Seifer broke away from me. I stayed limp on the bed, waiting for my usual post-coital depression.
Seifer came back to the bed with a dremel, two pairs of safety glasses, and disposable respirators.
"Kinky," I said, startling a laugh out of him.
"Hold still, okay? There are much better ways to do this, But I don't have access to them."
It was such a relief to be able to bend my kness, to scratch, to get out of the bed. Which I did and promptly collapsed.
Seifer came back from taking out the mess and scooped me up. "No, no, and no. You're gonna need some physical therapy. At least stretch and warm up a little, you know that! Minimal walking, minimal standing. You're not really healed, how many times do I have to tell you that?"
I looked up into his sea colored eyes. "How do you know I didn't just want you to hold me some more?"
That was just the, er, teaser. More yaoi soon!
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