Author's Notez: Ok let me say, that I know this is confusing in bits, hell it’s confusing at times writing it. But it will all be explained soon, I hope… Just bear with me…..and THANK YOU all for your wonderful reviews. I’m taking a page from some other wonderful authors and talking to my reviewers in this way. Oh and the lyrics at the top are once more Silent Lucidity by Queensryche, the lyrics that Seifer was listening to are Lonely in Your Nightmare by Duran Duran.
DISCLAIMER: The boys and places don’t belong to me, mores the pity, but hey The box and the dream realm does, So square if your listening…the idea…you can’t have…it’s mine…possession is nine tenths of the law. Or so I heard *Grin* and any lyrics I use in this fic belong to their perspective owners. I can’t write lyrics worth a damn!
Chapter 2 - Beginnings
Hush now, don't you cry
Wipe away the teardrop from your eye
You're lying safe in bed
It was all a bad dream
Spinning in your head
Your mind tricked you to feel the pain
Of someone close to you leaving the game of life
So here it is, another chance
Wide awake you face the day
Your dream is over... or has it just begun?
There's a place I like to hide
A doorway that I run through in the night
Relax child, you were there
But only didn't realize it and you were scared
It's a place where you will learn
To face your fears, retrace the years
And ride the whims of your mind
Commanding in another world
Suddenly you hear and see
This magic new dimension
I- will be watching over you
I- am gonna help you see it through
I- will protect you in the night
I- am smiling next to you, in Silent Lucidity
-spoken during solo-
[Visualize your dream]
[Record it in the present tense]
[Put it into a permanent form]
[If you persist in your efforts]
[You can achieve dream control]
[How's that then, better?]
If you open your mind for me
You won't rely on open eyes to see
The walls you built within
Come tumbling down, and a new world will begin
Living twice at once you learn
You're safe from the pain in the dream domain
A soul set free to fly
A round trip journey in your head
Master of illusion, can you realize
Your dream's alive, you can be the guide but...
I- will be watching over you
I- am gonna help to see it through
I- will protect you in the night
I- am smiling next to you...
- "Silent Lucidity" - Queensryche
Seifer sat with his legs up on the dark oak stained desk, the glass on it smudged by his boots; he had one ankle laying upon the other, his hands behind his head, while he leaned back, looking up at the white vaulted ceilings, smirking. He had pulled it off, had sat there with Cid and Xu, and Quistis and a few of the other faculty. He had helped plan missions, had dealt with problems with students, everything, and he had done a damn good job. He always knew he would make a helluva great leader if given the chance.
“Giving yourself a bit more credit there aren’t you?”
“Shut up, I did a better job then you ever could and you know it!”
“I highly doubt it, just because I don’t like dealing with it, doesn’t mean I
can’t.”“Yeah, yeah…I still did a better job I say!” He snarkly replied.
“So what will we be doing now…hmmm.” Squall asked archly.
“Shit, I’m gonna go eat some more, I forgot how much I like eating.”
“I can feel it. Will you let me send someone with supplies to you? Hell come back to Garden, we’ll deal with everyone….”
“NO! Don’t send anyone, Squall, I refuse to take charity in any form, I’ll get by, don’t worry about it. In fact…I think I’ll go take a nap, nothing imperative is coming up, I’m not hungry anymore.” Seifer said while putting words to actions and getting up, and heading back to Squall’s room.
Once more he was walking like he owned the whole damn corridor, running a hand through his hair, forgetting that it wasn’t short and pulled back, but shaggy and in his face, the motion of his hand looked out of place, and Selphie who had been about to ask Squall what was the hurry, merely looked on with a bit of confusion. That action and the walk looked wrong on Squall, but were hauntingly familiar and she couldn’t place it, she hated not being able to remember something.
Meanwhile Seifer continued to walk past, never noticing her. Preoccupied with his thoughts of Squall and how they got to this point.
“You ever wonder why this is happening.”
“And? You come up with any answers?”
“Obviously not, if I haven’t shared them with you by now!”
“Your so eloquent Seifer.”
“Yeah and you can suck my left nut”
“You say the sweetest things to me…”
“SQUALL!” Zell yelled as he ran to catch up…”Dude…hang on…I wanna talk to you, didn’t you hear me callin’ you?”
Seifer stopped and turned around, and for just a second looked confused at the height difference and the fact that Zell had been calling out Squall. He was used to being higher up then he was. When he saw the look of concern on Zell’s face he wiped his face clean of everything, looking highly bored. ”What?” he said coldly, smirking inward at how Squall always sounded cold to everyone, hell this was easy, he could do Squall in his sleep. He mentally chuckled at the growls emanating from the back of his mind.
“Well I was wondering if ya wanted to get together later and do some training, it’s been a while since we trained.” Zell asked tentatively, something about Squall was off; it didn’t feel like his friend. But that was silly; Squall was standing here in front of him.
“What time did ya wanna do this? I was gonna go take a nap.” Seifer said, forgetting for a moment his speech patterns.
Zell was thrown off listening to Squall’s tone and words, but once more figured it was his imagination, and since when did Squall admit to taking naps? Zell shook himself pulling himself back into present rather than his thoughts, “um…how about 1800 hours?”
“That’ll work for me, see ya there.” And turned and walked off.
“You’re forgetting again, you’re me, I don’t talk that way Seifer, and I don’t walk like you either!” Squall said in a bored tone.
“Shit, your right. Fuck…..” he adjusted his walk, remembering how he used to watch and salivate over the way Squall walked. “So it’ll take a few times to get used to being you when I play.”
“See that it takes less time then a few!”
“Kiss my ass!”
“*mental sigh* Again? Can you not be more original?”
“Kiss my ass sideways?”
“Oh…very original that.”
“*Mental snickers* you like kissin’ my ass, admit it.”
“I admit nothing.”
“Hey you were kissin’ my ass in the dream realm the other day.”
“Hurry and get to the dorm, I would like my body back any day now.”
“Yeah whatever you say, boss.” Was the mocking reply.
He hurried his pace nonetheless, ignoring all the little looks and waves the cadets gave him. Somehow he could see Squall doing that. Once he finally arrived and walked into the room, he dropped the fur-lined bolero jacket haphazardly on the edge of the regulation cot, laughing as it slid from the edge on to the floor, he then took off the shirt and pants, leaving himself nude. He walked over to the only thing that seemed out of place in Squall’s barren room, the full length mirror. He looked over the body that he had lusted after for so long. Running his hands down the alabaster smooth skin, feeling the nipples harden, the sensations burning their way through from his hands. He continued to let his hands roam as they willed, his breathing becoming hitched. He looked into Squall’s face, a crooked grin appearing with eyes full of desire. He licked his lips sensually, running a finger tip across the lower lip.
“Seifer…what…what….are you doing?” Squall asked huskily, feeling the same sensations that Seifer was.
“I’m masturbating you, or would that be making out? Hell the logic escapes me, and I don’t care really, but I’m experimenting. Shut up and enjoy, I’ll give ya your body back later. I’m gonna have fun right now.”
He laughed, a heady high was taking over, he could do all that he had ever wanted to do to Squall, well from the inside out maybe. It was a powerful drug that he could get addicted to.
His hand slid up to his cheek caressing it, while the other slid along a thigh, running blunt nails against silky skin, and light dustings of hair. Goosebumps appeared all along Squall’s body where the hand touched. The arousal hanging there heavily between his legs stirred to life, growing as he watched, hardening as the blood pooled there. He made sure he didn’t’ touch the erection, not yet, he wanted to feel every inch of Squall’s body, the cleanliness, the scents, the tastes.
Wanting to drive Squall and therefore himself mad with desire first.
He stepped back and sat against the wall behind him, legs spread, knees bent, his eyes trained on the body in the mirror, he was looking at Squall, touching Squall, with Squall’s hands and eyes, and loving the thrill of it all.
He licked his index finger, swirling his tongue around it in a simulation dance of what he would have really liked to be licking on, watching cold grey eyes come to life with desire. He gave a half smile to the man in the mirror, just the edge of lips curling upwards. His other hand that was running along the upper portion of his thigh moved inward, raking his nails against skin, not so gently now, he sucked his breath in, while eye lids fluttered closed.
He heard Squall asking in a low husky voice... ”Why…..Seifer?”
“Because I can, I’m here now, and it’s something….” He dropped the rest of that thought, no sense in going there.
"It’s nothing… so I’m horny… what, you never masturbated? Come off it Squall, the others might believe your icy exterior holds no sexuality, but I know different. “
Before Squall could comment, he took the forward approach and reached for the heavy erection between his legs, letting the warmth of his hand seep into the skin, feeling the silky smoothness once more.
The rough padding of his palm added to the sensations as he ran his hand slowly upward from the base to the tip, feeling a trickle of moisture that escaped the slit at the top. He ran his finger over it and lifted it to his lips, removing the other finger and letting his tongue taste the fluid. It was bittersweet, his favorite flavor, and his form of addiction like chocolate. He lowered his hand once more, stroking the cock in his hand, the cock that was his and yet not.
He laid his head back against the wall, watching intently the man in the mirror once more, his own true face superceding over Squall’s for just a second, both pairs of eyes full of desire, one green, and one grey.
His finger that he had been sucking on, and was still moist, he brought down between his legs, the top of his hand rubbing against the heavy sacs beneath, and reached the puckered entrance, the way to Shangri-la, and the way home.
He slowly inserted it, moaning from the thrill of the pain and pleasure overtaking him, his hips thrust into his hand, while his grip tightened a bit. He then thrust back onto the finger, inserting another increasing the potency of his enjoyment.
He could hear Squall’s breathy moans and hisses as he too felt the pleasure of what Seifer was doing.
He watched all this in the mirror, so incredibly turned on by what he was seeing, doing and feeling. He felt lightning arc up his spine as he hit the little spongy spot deep within.
Open mouthed cries filled the room, as Seifer made love to Squall’s body from the inside out.
Both came together in a shower of stars, their explosions from one body simultaneously rocked them to their cores. The fact that they had both felt each and every thing the other felt shook them deeply. They were irrevocably bound to one another now, in ways no one would or could actually understand. Neither did they, but at this moment in time they didn’t question it, they just were.
Seifer laid there on the floor, still looking at Squall in the mirror, he closed a bit of his mind, keeping thoughts to himself so that Squall could not see or hear them. He felt lost and confused, the love he felt for Squall was there, hidden, having been rejected once it had been buried in a darkened room, never to see the light. But being here with Squall, seeing the dreams at first…realizing that they were more than just dreams, that they could actually communicate with one another, could actually see through one another’s eyes…and to actually take over one another’s bodies made that love want to spill forth from its hidden domain. And that was something he was not prepared to do.
He would not give voice to his feelings. Especially not now, when he was living on the streets, never knowing where his next meal was coming from, never knowing when he would have to fight to live, fight against the mass of humanity that hated him. He would only give way to what he felt when he was on some kind of even footing with Squall.
When they could both be the same.
He slowly got up and looked over at the clock on the mantle and saw it was only 1400 hours, he still had plenty of time before he would train with Zell, he hit the button on the clock radio, listening to music, turning the dial until he found something he liked. He climbed into bed, pulling the covers over his head shutting out the world…dropping the wall once more in his mind.
“Taking a nap now?” Squall asked, concern slightly coloring his tone.
“Yeah, suddenly I feel so damn tired.”
Silence reigned supreme in their minds. And just as Seifer was about to fall asleep he listened to what was playing…throwing the covers back while he turned his head to face the radio...glaring at it until he began to laugh nearly hysterically…until tears fell from his eyes…and he laid back down…letting the tears fall.
Even on the darkest night when empty promise means empty hand
and soldiers coming home like shadows turning red
When the lights of hope are fading quickly then look to me
I'll be your homing angel, I'll be in your head.
Because you're lonely in your nightmare let me in...
And there's heat beneath your winter let me in...
I see the delta traces living lonely out on the limb.
And a passing glimmer warm beneath your skin
Please tread gently on the ground when all around you earth
turns to fire
Only get a second chance when danger's on the wind.
Because you're lonely in your nightmare let me in...
Because there's heat beneath your winter let me in...
Must be lucky weather when you find the kind of wind that you need
C'mon show me all the light and shade that made your name
I know you've got it in your head, I've seen that look before
You've built your refuge turns you captive all the same
Jade green eyes, lost and alone, opened and a hand reached up to feel the tracks of tears upon a cold cheek. They closed once more, to sleep and dream; to find the other in the dream realm.
Return to Archive | next | previous