Author's Notes: I was bored in college one day.

All I can say about this is: I’m sorry. Stupid, silly fic.

Chicken Soup

Part One - Festival madness

By Purple Penguin

Selphie had organized a festival around the annual Balamb football match. All the girls were busy helping her with the planning and setting up food stall and things, Squall had allowed her to set up a garden cheerleaders team everything was great except the guys really weren’t pulling their weight. She made up a list of things we still needed and headed for the cafeteria where her friend seemed to be lived these days.

The resident cowboy grinned at her and waved her over to sit on his lap. “Hey guys!”

“Selphie how’s the festival going?”

“Great but I wondered if you guys could help me out with- oh just little things.”

The two blondes opposite them gave her a suspicious look. Seifer and Zell sat side by side not too close so people would think anything of it and close enough so the taller man could place a hand on his secret lover’s knee without anyone seeing it.

“Not out yet?” She whispered.

“We’ll get there.” Seifer shrugged. “What did you want us to do? Nothing bad is it?”

“No nothing too terrible but…. Zell I thought you would be perfect to be a football mascot.”

“A WHAT!?”

“A mascot, you’ll have to dress up in some sort of costume and dance around but no one will know it’s you.”

Seifer started to laugh. “Oh I can just picture it now!”

“Really?” Selphie squealed. “Great because I want you to pick a costume for Zell to wear, some sort of animal I think would be good.”

“HIM?! You want me to wear something that he chose? No way!”

“Come on Chickie it’ll be fun!”

“He’ll dress me up in something stupid!”

Irvine chuckled. “How come we have to suffer? What about Squall and Nida?”

She grinned. “Oh I’m sure I’ll find something for them to do.” She rubbed her hands together like a bad guy in a batman movie or something.

“What about Mr. Cowboy?”

“Oh Irvy can help me with decorations.”

The other two stared. “That’s it? Why do we have to make idiots of ourselves and he gets off easy?”

She looked sheepish. “Well there was one thing you could do for me?”

Her lover raised an eyebrow in questioning.

“I need some people to serve food in the ballroom after the game, the fans will be coming to eat there.”

“I thought the food was being served outside on the stalls?”

“It is that’s the family picnic, the ballroom is late food, adults only.”

“Adult only?”

“Yeah no kids to get in the way.”

“So it’s just serving food right? No surprises?”

She looked sheepish. “Only your outfit.”

“Outfit? Don’t I get to wear a tux?”

“No I want you to be a cowboy and don’t worry Nida will help you.”

Seifer looked amused. “What about Squall?”

“Oh I don’t know if I should tell you, he might run away if he knows what he has to do.”

Seifer grinned. “You can tell us, we won’t tell honest.”

“Well one of my cheerleaders dropped out at the last minute and I have a spare costume.”

The boys burst out laughing. “Oh I so can picture Squall in a girl’s cheerleading outfit, glaring at the crowd as the others have those fake cheesy grins.” Seifer said excitedly.

“Doesn’t Seifer get something to do? After Zell’s got his costume what then?”

“He’s the mascot leader, he leads the mascot out onto the pitch and then on the tour.”

“Tour?” Zell said looking frightened.

“Yeah for all the guests in Balamb and garden, you can do that right?”

Seifer grinned again. “Oh this gets better and better.”

Dressing up.


Selphie excused herself from the people who are helping with the food to hurry down to the small room that she had made the changing room. All the boys were in there at the same time. She opened the door, hearing Seifer’s laughter echoing round the garden.

“Oh.” She bit her lip.

“You can laugh Selphie we all have.” Irvine said as he stared at poor Zell.

“It’s very…. Appropriate.” she giggled.

“W-What? How? I am not a chicken!”

“You are now!”

They all laughed again.

The little blonde stood with wings folded in a great brown speckled hen suit. His eyes are visible through the open beak. He turned on his lover, pointing at him. “I don’t know what you’re laughing at Seifer, you’re not getting laid for months!”

Irvine laughed at Seifer’s expression, the grin disappeared so quickly. “What? But- I’m just kidding… and besides you can’t last that long without sex!”

“Aren’t you guys going to get dressed then?” He looked over at everyone else.

Selphie handed Nida and Irvine their waiter outfits for the adult only dinner.


Zell grinned. “Whose laughing now huh?”

“Cowboys you said, how many cowboys wear something like this?” Nida pulled out the leather thong, cowboy boots, waistcoat, holster and cowboy hat.

“Well I made some adjustments but that’s why it’s adult only, you see?”

Both boys frowned including Irvine and he usually liked to get his kit off.

“Put it on, you might like it?”

“I doubt it.” Nida did as he was told though and the cowboy followed suit, turning their backs as they put on the thongs.

“And Squall?”

The brunette glared at her and sighed, taking off his shirt in one motion and struggling into the red strappy top, it was really tight, his muscles showing through it making him look more built than he really was. He pulled off his boots and pants and stepped into the blue shirt pulling it up and attaching it at the waist. Finally he put on the white tennis shoes and curtsied for them.

Seifer wolf-whistled him. The other two were also done, Squall looked his lover up and down as did Nida.

“Sexy.” They both said at once.

“That’s not fair!”

They all looked round at Zell. “What’s not?”

“No one’s going to say that to me, I’m just a chicken.”

“We always knew that chickie.”

“Shut up Seifer!”

The crowd was really huge, cheering for their team. Both teams lined up for the Balamb national anthem and the Trabian national anthem, then the Balamb mascot was brought out with his wings folded. The mascot leader gave the bird a kick.


“Smile for the crowd Chickie.”

“Don’t call me that, or people will know it’s me!”

The chicken was led around the pitch twice and they sat on a bench and Seifer pointed up to where the cheer leaders with coming on. “Hey chickie, want to see something funny.“ He pointed to the last cheer leader that followed the others onto the pitch. “I hope Squall’s been practicing his spelling.”

The girls smiled prettily at the crowd the last cheer leader glared murderously at everyone and lined up with the others.


Notes: Wrote this a long time ago, will probably continue if you think it’s worth it.

Was going to have a Trabian mascot as some sort of predator animal chase the Chicken and maybe Squall fucking up his spelling or something in a funny way.

Question: How many cheer leaders are they supposed to have on one team?

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