A Heart Split in Two

Part 5

By Domino

A train whistle echoes through the terminal. Rinoa Heartilly stuffs the journal into her bag and climbs on the train. She recalls what her friends have told her.

“Irvine....? He said he was going to Deling City to take some time off. Why do you need to talk to him....?”

She takes her seat by the window and waits for the train to depart Balamb. She sees a man talking his way onto the train. “Zell...?!” She whispers to herself. The journal is left behind as she tells the conductor to allow Zell onto the train. “What are you doing here?!?!,” She snaps as she escorts him back to her seat. “Look, you’ve been acting all weird since you got that damn book! I’m here to make sure you don’t do anything stupid!”

“You don’t know what it’s like!! Squall chose Irvine over me! I loved Squall, and I need some answers.....”

As soon as she finishes her sentence, she breaks down in tears. Zell consoles her the best he can. “I’m sorry...... He meant that much to you. His journal must’ve really upset you...”

“Read July 2nd’s entry...” Rinoa hands Zell the journal and he begins reading to himself. His eyes widen as he reads Squall’s graphic detail of that night with Irvine. “Oh...... My GOD!!!” Zell shouts. “See what I mean?,” Rinoa says. Zell keeps reading to the next entry which, oddly enough, involved him and his town of Balamb.....

July 4th,

Now that the Garden is capable of moving, we began to head for the city of Balamb. I heard rumors of a possible occupation of the city by Galbadia. Zell had to come with us, so I allowed him into the group along with me and Irvine. The place was crawling with soldiers, and the hotel was being used by the Commander and the Captain. We stopped by Zell’s house to ask his mom about the situation. She said that they were looking for someone named Ellone. We knew we had to find her before the soldiers did. I was tired from all the previous battles, and the hotel was, um, not available, so Mrs. Dinct offered Zell’s room to us. Zell protested at first, but he reluctantly agreed to it.

“Heeeyyyy..... I remember that!,” Zell said. “I didn’t want that guy or Squall into my room, but my ma forced me to let them in!” Rinoa peeks over and reads where Zell is pointing. “Keep going,” Rinoa says coldly.

So, we went upstairs and found Zell’s “shrine.” He had a punching bag, a skateboard, and a miniature shrine to his grandfather. This shrine had a complete set of antique guns. I knew that was a dangerous combination. Irvine had a passion for guns that rivaled his passion for me. He ran up to the gun rack like an excited little kid. “Wow.... These are some’o them old school rifles!,” Irvine exclaimed.

“Hey, be careful! Those belonged to my grandpa!,” Zell retorted.

“These are so cool!”

“Heh, heh..... Well, all right. Go ahead and check ‘em out.”

Irvine picked up one of the guns not knowing it was still loaded. A shot rang out as he pulled the trigger. Zell screamed at him, “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING...?!?!”

I knew he would.. As a personal note to myself, never, ever put guns and Irvine in the same room alone.

That night Zell slept in his old bed and arranged some sleeping bags, blankets, and pillows on the floor for me and Irvine. It’s been a while since I was in a cozy home setting instead of the dorm. The blankets were so warm and soft. All three of us talked into the night. Soon Zell drifted off to sleep and Irvine and I were still awake. “So like... what now?” Irvine whispered into my ear. “Well, he is asleep......”

“You mean..... You want to.... Mess around..?!”

“You’re not in the mood?”

“No, but.... He could wake up and.....!” I had to shut him up, so I kissed him. He gave in and rubbed his hands over my pajamas. I felt him slip his hand into my pants. He then grabbed my hardening member and fondled it. I tried not to make any noise, but Irvine kept rubbing me. It felt so good. I bit down on my lower lip and my breathing became heavier. Zell suddenly turned and let out a huge snore. It startled the both of us. He said “Hey, guys... you can talk but keep it down..... Damn.... ZZZZZ...” Irvine and I decided to stop what we were doing and go to sleep. Irvine kissed my lips and neck and whispered “Maybe next time.... Good night.”

“Those two were fooling around!! They woke me up!” Zell shouts. “They could’ve waited until they were alone! Damn.......!” Rinoa calms Zell down as other passenger look on with puzzled faces. “Be quiet! I don’t want to get kicked off!”


“Read the next entry. It looks short.”

July 5th,

It turns out the Captain was Fujin and her Commander was Raijin! They had orders from Seifer to burn down the city. Zell was not about to let them get away! He kicked their asses! Those two are such morons to be siding with Seifer, but I have to admire their loyalty. All they want is Seifer back. On Who knew....?

July 6th,

We’ve arrived in Trabia Garden. The place is ruined due to the direct missile hit. Selphie went inside to survey the damage. Irvine went after her. He still loves her. Why? I thought he loved me. I had to find out, so I went in too. When I caught up to Irvine, I confronted him about Selphie. “What are you doing?!”

“I’m sure she’s in shock... I need to catch up to her.”


“(Squall, I love you. But she’s still my friend! I can’t bear to see her like this! How can you be so cold?!)”

I stood there, narrowing my eyes.

“(I’m sorry Squall.....)”

“(No, it’s okay. You’re right. Go catch up to her.)”

The others followed me into the ruins where several students treated and consoled each other. Selphie told all of us, including Irvine, to wait for her at the basketball courts. She finally came by and told us everything was gonna be okay. Rinoa goes on about the fear of being left behind. Irvine, oddly enough, comforts her. “Someone you love may disappear before your very eyes.” Then he dropped a bomb on all of us after that. When he was about 4, Irvine was in an orphanage with several other children. It was after the Sorceress’ War, so most likely he lost his parents in battle. He remembers certain little children who gave him hope. He took us back to the orphanage in terms of memory.....

“Hey Irvy, you wanna play?”

“Sephie, what’cha playin’?”


Sephie.....?! He knew her as a child....? Selphie remembered the house, as did Quistis. Irvine knew them both the whole time! “I knew right away when we first met.” Why didn’t he tell us? “It seemed like you have forgotten. Because it just kinda sucked that I was the only one who remembered.... Spunky little Sephie and bossy little Quisty!” Zell remembers telling on them when they set off fireworks. “We got in so much trouble.,” Quistis remarked. Irvine kept going. Seifer was there too! He taunted Zell a lot. As for me, I was isolated. I wanted “Sis” to come back to us. “Elle...” It was Ellone! I used to hog her up to myself!

But why couldn’t anyone but Irvine remember? Was it because of our bad childhoods? Zell forgot and he was raised in a good environment. Irvine said “it’s the price we pay for using the GF..... They provide us power.... but it makes its place in our brains...” We didn’t want to believe him, but he was right. Irvine hadn’t junctioned with a GF until recently. But were we gonna give up using GF’s? We decided to keep going with them. Zell put it best. “I’m willing to pay the price if it means erasing bad memories and protecting my parents!” And the matron...? The woman who cared for us.....? It was Sorceress Edea..... This is getting so confusing..... But Rinoa... She wasn’t there with us...... She didn’t have to keep on fighting with us, but she chose to stay. As for Irvine, he too wanted to keep on going if it kept us together for a little longer. My thoughts exactly.....

Before we left, Irvine pulled me over to the side. “I need to talk to you.”

“Okay. What is it?”

“I told Selphie about us.”


“Remember the fight we had after the concert? I told her then. She had the right to know. If it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t be here right now. Please Squall..... Forgive me.”

His eyes began tearing up again. He knows that hurts me.... I guess it was inevitable. We found Selphie aiding some hurt students when we asked her to come with us. We had to get her alone. Irvine picked out a spot near the basketball courts. She looked a little confused. “Hey guys. What’s up?”

“Selphie.... Do you know about us....?” I asked.

“About you and Irvine?”


“I’ve known since the night I tried to get you and Rinoa together. Have you told her?”

“I can’t. Not yet.”

“You need to tell her soon. She likes you, and I don’t think it’s right for you to be leading her on like this.”

“You’re right Selphie.”

“I know you’ll tell her. But I’m glad you found someone Squall. Your secret is safe with me for the time being!”

“Thanks Selphie.”

I didn’t want to hurt Rinoa. But my love for her and Irvine kept clashing in my heart. I had to tell her, but how......?

Zell closes the book. “Wow...... So Selphie knew....” Rinoa ponders “Why didn’t she tell me then?”

“She had her reasons too. Come on. Deling City’s pretty far off. Let’s get some sleep.” Rinoa closes her eyes and rests on Zell’s shoulder. The train turns its inner lights off and the two friends sleep peacefully.


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