Author's Note - The dream sequence is taking a different format for Squally-boy, but I trust that you are all smart enough to figure it out. ^_- Just thought it'd be easier than reading too much italics.
This is the Last Time
Part 5
By Sukunami
The world was nothing but darkness and a thick noise. Squall supposed there was a chance that the noise could be separated into individual sounds, but he couldn't seem to remember how to do that. He wasn't even sure why it would be worth the trouble. So he laid there in the darkness, wondering just what would happen if he decided to stop listening...
The second after I realize I'm awake, fury overcomes me. Immediately sitting up, I glare down at the man who had been apparently my pillow during the night... day... it doesn't matter anymore. He meets my icy gaze with amused smirk, obviously unthreatened by me.
"You needed the sleep, Squall. And I'm still here."
I turn away from those light green eyes, hating my weakness. It's too quiet here. The lowest level of Balamb Garden had been transformed into a prison for Adel's most special enemies, of which only two now remained. We were supposed to have been killed in a mass execution months ago, but I had somehow summoned Shiva to attack the sorceress when Seifer was being punished for not killing me with his first strike. I still haven't a clue how I did it, but the event immediately attracted Adel's interest.
She wants me.
One by one, the few people I could call friend have died before me and the world through her media. After each death came the time to mourn that person's lost and worry about the next to die. There is the power inside of me to fight her, I think, but I can't find it. My chest hurts too much to focus, my body is exhausted from lack of sleep and worry, and my spirit is slowly cracking.
Laguna... Dad was the last who died. I could almost feel the world lose hope with his public execution, but he had never stood prouder at that moment. There was no limp or stuttering, just the king of a man that the Estharian people thought him to be. While to me, he was the father I never knew, then loved, and now killed.
Warm arms wrap around me, fingers stroking the scar on my bare chest. "Say goodbye to me?"
The child in me screams 'no' as if he won't be taken from me because I haven't said goodbye to him. Instead, I kiss and suck at the muscled arms holding me tightly. I can't afford to think anymore, and only Seifer has been able to succeed at the daunting task of ending my thoughts.
Soon I'm holding his unclothed body down on the cold metal floor, my actions frantic as I try to both taste and touch all of the body beneath me. He is strangely submissive, letting me move along him without restriction of his own desires. Sparing what was only to be a moment to look at his face, I find him watching me with eyes full of both bliss and sorrow. Keeping the eye contact, I kiss lightly down his firm stomach, the need for urgency gone. Moving further, I hold him in a loose grip before taking his stiffening manhood into my mouth. His eyes narrow to a sliver, but our connection doesn't break as I move on him with steady suction.
Eventually he smirks, a large hand forcing me to stop. Seifer doesn't speak at my questioning expression, instead rolls onto his stomach and then moves back onto bended knees.
"I'm not as flexible as you," he states as his offer.
Never. Years of kissing, sucking, fucking, loving and he has never offered himself to me. It hadn't bothered me. Seifer isn't afraid of pain and it hasn't been an issue of control between us, so I assumed he had his own reasons to avoid this position. Placing my hands on his lower back and massaging down to his ass, I easily feel his tension. Normally I would stop this now, but this is his goodbye to me. I won't throw that in his face.
Leaning forward, I press my lips against his tailbone and nibble at the tight flesh. He is holding his breath, only shuttering gasps escaping his mouth as I trail lower. After a prolonged lick against his opening, I slowly push my tongue into the tight entrance. He flinches at the first entry, but I persist until he starts tiny rocking motions in time with my rhythm.
"Squall," he croaks out. "Now, before.... just do it."
I hesitate. 'Now, before I can't do it' or something of the like. He is doing this just for me. Hyne, I love him.
With a soft tone, I remind him to breathe deeply while I rub his back in the attempt to soothe. I position myself at his entrance and wait for enough tension to fade so that I can enter smoothly. He hisses with inhaled breath at my slow entry, but I don't stop until I'm most of the way in. I hadn't imagined such overwhelming tightness, as if I could feel every quiver in his body and every throb of life as he surrounds me completely. Waiting for him to adjust to the alien feel, I kiss along his taunt back while rubbing his hipbones.
He starts to laugh, the squeezing on my cock brings white spots to my vision. "Should I be offended?" I growl out from pleasure, not hurt.
"It's just... you're in me." As if to make the point clearer, he moves forward a bit and thrusts back deeper onto me.
"Nn. I noticed."
He shakes his head. "You can't understand. I..."
At his faltering, I stroke his softened erection while pressing forward. "Later."
Taking his moan as agreement, I move in and out of the dry heat while handling his length with somewhat inexperienced movements. Always receiving, I know what feels good, but I'm typically too deep into the act to actually know what he was doing to me. I'm hurting him. It always hurts the first several times. But he is also relishing in the mixed physical pleasure along with the awareness that he is pleasing me.
There is no hope in making it last.
Lying on metal ground, both of us sweaty and sticky, I rest my head on his shoulder while he fingers the area around my bellybutton. I should be crying, yelling, or raging about the unfairness of losing Seifer. But I'd rather not ruin this. Not his goodbye.
I am the only witness. To broadcast the execution of the ex-(twice over)-Sorceress Knight would most likely only boost the morale of the people Adel is oppressing. And so, chained by wards to prevent junctioning and spells, I watch. I try to call upon Shiva, Diablos, any of the guardian forces to save Seifer, but apparently my calls aren't heard or else ignored.
Still sore, he doesn't stand as straight as he could, but his typical 'fuck the world' sneer in place. Seifer is killed.
My vision tunnels as I mentally retreat back from the sight of his body. Sensing the doorway to peace and death, I escape to that portal only to have it closed in my path. Turning, I find a thin veil of black blocking my view to the world outside of my mind. At the wicked laughter of her conquest, I can't find it in me to care that Adel had taken what she wanted.
I sense that time passes as I linger in the darkness of my mind, waiting for the door to open and grant me release.
Rinoa is killed by my blade, a serious blow to the resistance force against Adel. I have to give the dark haired beauty credit, never once begging for her life or crying pathetic tears. She only wished for me to waken. But I can't do that. I'd have to leave the doorway to where Seifer may be, and that is out of the question.
I almost kill Ellone. Kiros saves her, however, the bastard not killing me because 'Sis' pleads for a life I don't want. He loses his hand in reward for holding back. Even through the veil blocking my vision of the outer world, I can see the damage Dad's death has brought upon the now quickly aging man.
But mostly I don't bother looking out there. I just don't care what my controlled body is doing.
Please...
The voice, young and full of pain, confuses me. I don't see him beyond the veil, and there can't be anything here.
Someone help me... Please, God. Someone...
'God'? Looking at the door, I'm disheartened to discover it still closed to me. Then, a white line of light appears like a crack to the side of the doorway. Curious, I touch the sliver of light, instantly blinded for a long moment. Blinking, I find myself somewhere dimly lit, dust floating in the various rays of light from broken windows.
"Who...?"
Glancing down, I find the child. He is bound up, tied to a metal support wider than he is. Clothes appearing much like it was once a small tuxedo are now torn, dirty, and stained. Green eyes redden from spilt tears stare up at me in part horror, but there is hope as well.
"Seifer...?"
He flinches and looks about to flee if it weren't for his state. "How do you know my name?"
I kneel and reach out to touch him, discovering the reason for his fear - my arm is transparent. Confused, I examine my body, realizing I must appear the ghost to this poor child. Perhaps I am. Then there is sorrow as I also realize that I can't touch him like this.
Deep voices soon approach, Seifer biting his lips as if to hold back more tears. It doesn't take me long to understand that he has been kidnapped. Why isn't clear, but that doesn't matter to me. I try to perform a spell, but I can't sense any power of magical power in this dimension. None of the guardian forces either.
One of the men that had appeared grips Seifer's chin to force eye contact, mocking the child for having parents that don't love him enough to pay the price. They speak words of death to a boy that can't be more than seven. Can he really know what death means?
Instead of letting the hate, fear, and worry overwhelm me, I calm myself despite the situation. All this time within my mind, I've rebuilt that deadened nature of mine. Instead of demanding or begging for the guardian forces to appear, I merely open myself with a bare whisper to grant them whatever they wish.
An almost unheard voice replies that they only need passage.
Walls built during the decades, only one man was let in. Now, I have to force myself to let something out. For Seifer, anything. My body shivers and arches as I hear the soft jingles of the bells on Shiva's jewelry, her form walking through my very soul. Falling to my knees, I have barely the energy to watch the ice demon's work. She easily takes the two men by their throats, the sound of snapping clear in the quiet building. With only a light press of her finger, she freezes and shatters the bindings on the young boy, then disappears.
Freed, I expected Seifer to run away. Instead, he warily walks up to me and stops a short distance away. "Are you my guardian angel?"
"No."
"Why not? You saved me."
I attempt a smile as I stand up. "I have to go. Will you be okay?"
His eyes narrow. "Where you goin'?"
"Hopefully to find you."
That confuses the poor boy, but I don't want to waste more time without being able to touch him. I've been a fool. All these years spent waiting for a door to open for me when I should've done it myself. I could have truly lost him. But now, I know where he has gone and like hell I'm going to leave him there alone.
Turning, I reach out for the crack between dimensions, my lips twisted in a sneer that promises overdue revenge before my quest to rejoin Seifer.
Hazy blue eyes opened in a dimly lit room, rhythmic clicks and beeps sounding to his side. It wasn't helping his headache much. Rediscovering movement, he turned his head to face the side opposite of the irritating noises. His lips quirked in the failed attempt to smile as he eyed the slumped figure next to the railed bed.
"Dad..."
Previously dozing, the long haired man jumped at the rough voice and took a quick survey of the room before looking at the teen on the bed. "Um, Squall, it's me. Laguna."
The brunette frowned, not understanding the difference.
"Seifer just left to get some coffee. He should be back real soon, heaven forbid he leave you for longer than ten minutes."
"Seifer... Shit!" He sat up, his breath momentarily lost at the flare of pain.
"Don't move like that. You'll only open the stitching, forget the fact that you've been unconscious for almost a week and shouldn't be attempting to run off."
Squall knocked away the hand that was trying to force him to lie down. "Is he okay? Did she take him?"
"Did who take who? Squall, what exactly--"
The door was slammed open, instantly drawing attention. "God damn it, what's so hard about coffee? I tell you, Squall had better wake up soon before my taste buds are..." He stopped once he finally looked up from the styrofoam cup of steaming liquid. "Laguna, get out."
The long haired man puffed an frustrated sigh before standing. "It's a wonder you don't have more friends with such elegant requests. Call me if you need me, blondie." Before he left the room, he leaned in to whisper privately to Seifer but was still overheard by the brunette. "Take it easy. He seems a bit out of it. Hell, he called me 'Dad' of all things."
While the door was still closing from Laguna's exit, Seifer walked up to the side of the bed and placed his cup of coffee onto a small table. "Lie down, idiot. You'll only hurt yourself."
Squall ignored him. "Are you okay?"
"I believe I'm the one walking around while you're in a hospital gown, not that I don't oppose the view. Now, lie down before I have to force you."
"Promise?"
The blonde straightened. "Don't you dare use that tone with me while you're recovering from near death. What's wrong with you?"
He sighed and tried to cross his arms, frowning when he discovered tubes and wires preventing decent movement. Annoyed, he began removing the interfering items with the firm decision that he wanted to go home. Wincing while plucking out the IV, he briefly wondered where his clothes could have been hidden.
"Damn it, Squall! Just lie down, relax, and tell me what the fuck is going through your head."
He relented to the strong hands pushing him back onto the mattress. "I want to go home."
"And we will. Just spare a moment to heal, would you?"
Grasping a hand, Squall pressed the soft, callus-free palm on his cheek and kissed the thumb. "I remember it all," he whispered.
A pause. "Then I guess you have a story to tell me."
After a nurse had been contacted to fix the damage Squall caused, the teen managed to coax Seifer into the small bed with him. Careful of the replaced IV and monitoring wires, he pressed the smaller man back against him as they laid there. Squall's words were steady, not quite monotone in the telling of the events after Adel took Balamb Garden as hers. Hearing of the executions, Seifer wished his earlier theory of such a situation was incorrect. But in truth, it was probably the best way to weaken the SeeD Headmaster, a man who felt the guilt for those that died in the Third Sorceress War because he wasn't good enough to have ended it from the start. The pain Squall experienced from believing himself the cause of death for his friends and father must have been infinitely more damaging. Memories were returning to the blonde as the narrative continued.
Seifer interrupted before the teen spoke of his death. "I gave myself to you as my goodbye."
There was only a nod in reply.
"I didn't really have the chance to ask - did you like it?"
A bark of bitter laughter. "It was incredible. You always are."
Kissing the neck, Seifer let his silence tell the brunette to continue. He still was unable to explain his fears about letting Squall take him. It was partially about control, the position representing a helpless state to him. But more so it was the idea of having someone else within him where he could be torn apart and left there to bleed. It would be too much like what Ultimecia and then Adel had done to him, mind and body not being so different.
Squall's words become more hesitant as he continued, uncertain about how to explain that half-life while being under the control of a sorceress. But Seifer of course understood it well. The brunette wasn't certain about the time that had past, only major events seeping through that veil of darkness. It was safe to assume it had been seven years before the kidnapping incident.
"God, do you know how many therapy sessions I had to bear about seeing my guardian angel? I can't believe I haven't recognized you... but you were older as my savior ghost. Older and rather wretched looking."
"It doesn't help you were so young. Seven?"
"Un. I was taken from my birthday party, or rather my father's party that happened to celebrate my birthday. Three days I was in that rundown building until the actual day of my birth."
"Coincidence, then. I didn't realize it was the anniversary of your death."
"What happened when you went back?"
"I had it wrong, that I was somehow summoning Shiva despite the wards Adel had placed. I'm just a portal for them to appear, a connection from their plane and to my dimension. Once I stopped trying to make the GF's appear, I was able to let them appear... Sorry, it's hard for me to explain the difference."
"Go on."
"I retook control of my body and killed Adel. It took a long time, but by then the pain was actually kind of nice. Once she was gone, I told Griever to kill me or I would put the blade to myself. He granted my request."
"I've met the bastard. He called you his chosen or something after you had passed out."
"The group of us were all chosen children of the different GFs, as you are the child of Ifrit. Of those children, Griever made his selection to be their ultimate connection to the outer world. The chosen child holds the destiny to destroy those who corrupt magic, which taints the lifeblood of the guardian forces."
Seifer took a moment to absorb some of the information, then squeezed the slim body with care of the healing wounds. "I'm glad you found me."
"It's only been you."
Grinning, Seifer brushed lips over an ear as he whispered, "Only me."
Soon Squall returned to restful sleep within the enclosing arms. Only once he was certain of the steady rhythm of lulled breaths did Seifer relax the hold on his emotions. Twin trails of moisture slipped from his eyes and into the brown locks that he buried his face in. It was too much, this need for each other. There were over twenty years without Squall, but he wasn't sure how he managed to live that empty life. And now he knew the same thoughts were within his lover, a man who had chanced death and rebirth with the single intent to rejoin Seifer. It hurt, this pure need, but it was a welcomed pain as it pulsed deep inside him.
At the sound of the opening door, he kept his eyes closed in mock sleep. There was a frustrated huff before a light tsking noise as the nurse on duty left the two men as they were. After making the mental note to tip that woman later, Seifer moved once against the limp body to attempt more contact between them before eventually finding his own peace in comforting darkness.
"Here you go, madam. A present."
Leanne glared suspiciously at the packet of papers. "What is this?"
Charming smile in place, Seifer leaned forward on the counter. "The cafe is entirely yours. Building, land, and all."
Hazel eyes widened. "Why... What are your intentions, exactly?"
"Well, there is one catch. I would like you to leave the place to Squall in the case you retire or other circumstances."
Bit by bit, a pleased smile appeared on the woman's face. "You little con-artist. He'd never let you buy this place for him so you're going through me?"
"This place is special to him for some reason. And this is where we first met, so I certainly don't mind making certain it stays around."
She eyed the blonde man as if to judge worthiness before waving him over to the couch so they could sit comfortably. With closed eyes, she started. "I met the boy here as well. Been a little over a year since I found him sitting in the alleyway looking about ready to cry, but he never did. The dear thing holds too much in. I assume you know, but he has no blood relation. The foster homes he was in... well, Squall is a good kid, but a difficult one. Got into fights just because boys at school would find him condescending instead of simply quiet."
Seifer nodded his understanding of such circumstances. He often thought in the past that the brunette had been asking for a beating with his attitude.
"The last home he was in, though, the family turned sour. The husband lost his job or something, got drunk, and attacked his wife for a supposed affair. Squall tried to protect the woman, ended up pretty badly injured himself before he was able to knock out the man. Somehow, the dear ended up with most of the blame for escalating the situation. The woman he saved turned on him for hurting her husband.
"Well, it actually took me months to drag the full story out of him. All I knew on the night I found him was that he was a mere child with a bloody shirt and a hurting spirit. I decided to take a chance and help him out. He started work here while I loaned him money for rent and new clothes. I won't deny he has boosted the customer count here with both his attractiveness and coffee skills, but for me it been nice to have someone to look after again."
"You've been good to him. I can see why he considers you as his mother."
"For a time I did consider adopting him, but he wouldn't have it. Said I had done more than enough for him."
"Thank you for telling me."
She patted his cheek. "I'm not as blind as you think. You'll just have to forgive me for being protective of my boy and realize that you will always be the bastard that stole him from me."
Seifer laughed. "Understood, madam."
Standing up from the couch, she waved a warning finger at him. "None of that. It's Leanne."
He smiled in reply, happy to be wholly welcomed in the small coffee house at last.
"You're early."
Not moving, Seifer responded. "I've been trying to seduce the fair lady of this establishment for weeks, and have finally succeeded. You should congratulate me." When the teen didn't reply or move to the jesting comment, the blonde turned to face him. "What's wrong? Not feeling well?"
He frowned. "It's been over a month. I think I've healed by now."
"Then get to work and make my drink, wench."
Squall shifted his stance, breaking and reconnecting eye contact in a nervous action.
He smiled interestedly at the typically unflappable brunette. "Seriously, what's up?"
Bowing his head forward, he stared at the ground. "I'm not good at this..." Removing his hand from his pocket, he held it out palm up in front of the blonde.
Eyeing the object, the blonde sighed. "Squally-boy, shame on you. Here I am with tickets to the Caribbean for a weekend getaway, a fancy meal planned to perfection up to the after-dinner drinks shared out on the beach under the moonlight, and you have to spoil it all."
"It's my turn this time. With our birthday in two days, I figured you'd plan something."
Seifer picked up the ring, a platinum band with a brushed finish and a polished edge that shined in the light. Though not the best judge of jewelry, he could tell that the cost was more than Squall typically spent in months. Just before putting it on, he found an engraving along the inside - Only you. He hesitated for several loud heartbeats before placing it on his finger.
"I know it's not what you--"
"Shush. Let me enjoy the moment before you get too self-conscious." After examining the appearance of having the chilled ring on his finger, he took a small box from the inner pocket of his great coat. "I was hoping to sneak this on your finger while you were asleep after a night of hard pounding sex, but I guess this works, too."
The box opened for him, Squall took the ring delicately between finger and thumb. Made of gold and platinum, the teen eyed it until he seemed to determine that it wasn't dangerously expensive. "You are in me..." he reads before a satisfied smile came to his lips.
"We don't have a president to marry us this time around, not to mention the issue of same-sex marriages, but for now I think our pledges to each other will be enough." Smirking, he took the raised hand and kissed the newly fitted ring. "Well, at least until Laguna wins over the country."
"He's adopted too many of your habits for that."
"And that's a bad thing? I'm hurt."
"About the trip--"
"You are going. Tickets are non-refundable and the islands are calling."
"I have finals--"
"That you could ace with your eyes closed. Don't make me resort to kidnapping, and you know very well that I would do it."
"You..." He kissed the upturned lips. "...are a horrible influence."
"It's for your own good, and you know it."
"Fine, but only if the deal in Asia has closed before we have to leave."
He blinked. "What the... Selphie's gotten to you?"
"She was hoping my own influences could help her out a bit. Apparently you're behind schedule."
"Like hell I am! We have weeks before I need to press for that contract."
Squall shrugged. "I only know what I'm told, and you can hardly expect me to pass up a chance to harass you."
"Fuck, I have been a bad influence."
The brunette leaned over the arm of the couch as he took pouting lips into a deep kiss, but moved back before it could reach too high of a level. "See you later tonight."
"I want my damn coffee first. The service here is horrid."
"Maybe you don't tip well enough," the brunette stated while already moving towards the backroom.
Observing the shifting ass under the dark uniform, Seifer muttered various curses at the sight of pure temptation. No one held control over an Almasy, and damn if he'd let a kid win out in this power play. He watched as Squall reemerged from the backroom and then suddenly get hit by sprays of whipped cream when a pressurized can breaks in Leanne's hands. Seeing the brunette finger the whiteness on his face and hair, Seifer automatically pulled out a small silver colored cell phone from his coat and speed dialed the Japan office. As he listened to the ringing tone and watched Squall lick a coated finger, he made the mental note to place an indefinite hold on Selphie's latest raise request.
{Owari}
Author's Note - Whooho! it's done. What more can I say accept to apologize for the el'cheapo ending. Going to the airport in a few hours and felt like killing... uh, ending this fic so I don't have to think about it over the weekend.