Author's Note: Ack, the cliches! Oh, the pain! ::squints at piece:: But don't expect this to keep at this pace. We're going down the dark alley! Continued straight after the end of Chapter 4.

DISCLAIMER: Characters of Final Fantasy VIII are property of Squaresoft. NOT us.

Tainted Love

Chapter 5 - Perhaps...

By Koorime and LaughingWolfGirl

Zell made it back to his room and paced, the anger filling him required some action. He could not sit down; he walked over to his punching bag and began to punch and jab at it, taking out all his hurt feelings, ignoring the tears pouring down his face. He could feel his strength just about gone; he went and curled up on his bed, wrapping the blanket around him and not caring about getting undressed. He fell into a fitful slumber.

Doctor Kadowaki approached Seifer, taking his chin in hand as she examined his bleeding lip. "What did you do to that boy? Hyne, look at you!"

Seifer rolled his eyes. "I'm fine, just forget it." He began sorting his clothes and putting them on, all the while the Doctor's searing gaze never left his back.

"Zell is not alright, Seifer! What have you done to him? Have you been bullying him again?"

With his pants on, he zipped up his vest and looked around for his gloves before he remembered he hadn't brought them. "I ain't done nothing." Even as the words left his mouth, they stung - the memory of Zell's pained look flashing in his mind.

Doctor Kadowaki yanked him around with surprising strength. Her dark eyes sparkled with a maternal fire. "I know you boys don't get along. But whatever you have done cannot be justified as nothing. The look on that boy's face can't be ignored, now I don't care what you've done but you apologise!"

Seifer looked down and away, gritting his teeth. That was one thing he could never say. But she wouldn't have any of it.

"You go to him now and apologise!"

Seifer glared at her. "Why should I?"

"Because not only will he never forgive you, but… " Suddenly she just seemed to deflate. Shaking her head, she raised a hand as though the sight of Seifer was too much. "Oh, do what you will. But let me assure you, you wouldn't be doing yourself a favour in losing any possibility of gaining Zell Dincht's friendship. Don't let your pride get in the way, Seifer."

The doors hissed shut behind the doctor and he was left alone in his silence. Seifer found it suddenly hard to breathe, and he had to bite his tongue to keep something from escaping. He looked back out the window to the setting sun, vibrant strands of gold streaked across the darkening cerulean sky; he made up his mind. Storming through the doors a moment later, he started for the Dormitory. Doctor Kadowaki watched him leave, a critical look on her face.

Hyne help them.

He just couldn't walk quickly enough; Seifer was literally stalking the halls, the falling dusk casting tarnished rays of gold over him. He didn't even look where he was going, and snarled when he knocked into someone. Ready to spit some venomous insult, he paused as he was met with a challenging blue gaze. Squall stared back at him, eyes holding nothing but indifferent malevolence; he shrank back. Was this how Zell felt? Hyne… What was he supposed to say to those eyes? They were so angry!

Finally, Seifer turned without a word, leaving Squall in the mostly deserted hallway. It seemed like an eternity before he was in front of Zell's dorm, just like 3 days ago when he had nearly broken down the door. This time he nearly did the same, until he realized that it had been left open. The steel panels slid open silently; Zell was curled up on his bed, wrapped tightly in a blanket. Seifer didn't bother closing the door, stepping in and over to the small form on the bed. Zell didn't respond, as Seifer bent over him, he saw the tear tracks that had leaked from now closed eyes; Zell was asleep. Seifer bent down by the bed, a hand sweeping back Zell's hair from his face. Unable to resist, his arms wound around the familiar warmth and he pulled Zell against him.

Zell felt the added warmth that had nothing to do with his blankets and struggled to wake up. He groggily turned his head and seeing Seifer, smiled before he fully woke up and then hurt and anger once more fought for dominance in his eyes. "What the hell are you doing here?" He quickly pulled out of Seifer's arms.

Seifer managed to catch Zell's hands before he pulled away entirely. "Zell, wait. Listen to me-"

"No, get out! I don't wanna hear nothin' you have to say, 'n let go of my hands!" He struggled to free himself while trying to pull away.

For some reason, Seifer found himself hesitating again. It was just two words... Luckily, Seifer was stronger and he pulled Zell into his arms, not letting him go. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, baby." Hyne, that wasn't enough. He knew it wasn't, but Zell had to know.

Zell stilled, hearing the words. "Why?? Why are you saying that, especially when all you’re gonna do is hurt me again…?" he said woodenly, his head leaning against Seifer's chest.

Hyne… "I know I'm a bastard, everyone does. Look, before you, I was with… someone else, and that was," he shook his head. "It wasn't healthy. I hurt you because I didn't want to be hurt again. I know it's a stupid excuse, but it's the truth. I don't mean to hurt you, Zell. But I meant what I said in there. This was a mistake," Seifer smiled, looking Zell in the face. "But it was the best mistake. And I don't want to take it back."

Zell looked up into Seifer's eyes looking back and forth; gauging his sincerity. His voice when he spoke held a note of hope, with a dose of guard. "Really? You really feel that way? … So where do we go from here?"

Seifer nodded, a hand threading through Zell's hair. "Yeah, I mean it. I dunno what happens now, but," he struggled with his voice, swallowing hard. "I don't want to lose you."

Zell closed his eyes and then opened them and looked back into Seifer's and even though his lips weren't smiling, his eyes did the smiling for him. He leaned up and sweetly kissed Seifer's lips, softly. "I don't want you to lose me either."

Seifer sighed in relief, returning the gentle notion of acceptance. "Will you stay with me?" he cracked a weak grin. "I don't think I can really change who I am, but I promise I won't bullshit you. Alright?"

Zell reached up and laid his hand on Seifer's cheek. “I will as long as you’re honest with me. Tell me if something is bothering you instead of treating me like shit." He reached over at the bruised and cut lip, remorse filling his face. "I'm sorry, baby."

Seifer caught Zell's hand and kissed it. "Nah, you got nothing t'be sorry about. Y'could say I pretty much hit myself," he laughed, but it lacked mirth. "I know I asked for it."

Zell suddenly impishly grinned. "Yeah, you did. But it's a good thing I didn’t hit you with everything I had.” He grinned. “I pulled that punch, ya know."

Seifer smiled in turn. "'M sure ya did. I've taken worse."

"Not the way I do it," was the cheeky response. And then before Seifer could respond, Zell threw his arms around his neck and kissed him deeply. Seifer jumped back almost instantly with a small cry, touching a hand to his lip as he winced slightly.

Zell sucked in his breath and looked contrite at the cut on Seifer's lip. "Hyne, baby, I'm so sorry about that... Damn…"

Seifer drew the back of his hand gently across his lip, shaking his head. "Nah, don't worry about it. Just gotta be careful," he gave Zell a small smile. "Guess I can't kiss ya then, huh?"

Zell looked crestfallen at that thought, but then smiled impishly. "But there's nothing that says I can't kiss on you, right?"

Seifer chuckled, threading his fingers through Zell's hair and he brushed his lips over his temple. "Yeah well, if you wanna... " He trailed off and shrugged, hoping Zell would get the hint. "Um... d'you think you could wait? Cos I kinda need a shower and I haven't really slept in days," he ducked his head, hoping he wasn't blushing. "Don't really wanna fall asleep on ya," he snickered.

Zell chuckled. "I didn't mean right now! ‘Cause yeah, I can see what ya mean about the shower thing." He laughingly moved out of striking distance. "Go take your shower and get some sleep.” He smiled tentatively. “Um... you could stay here and sleep if you like... with me."

The corners of Seifer's mouth curved into something of a smile, but it came off as more of a smirk. "Actually, I gotta change and clothes are back at my place, so... " He glanced back at the open door, then back at Zell. "Should I... come back later?"

Zell looked up at Seifer. "Well I would like ya to, but it's up to you, if ya feel you would sleep better in your room, go ahead and stay there. I’m gonna knock out myself, I’m still recovering."

Seifer nodded, moving for the door. "'Mkay. Think I'll crash back at my place. I'll be back later though," he winked at Zell.

Zell smiled. "That works. You'll know where I’m at, gotta stick around; doc's

orders.""Oh, what'd she say?" Seifer leaned against the door frame, standing mostly in the hall.

"Just that I gotta take it easy for a few more days, no training and stuff." He huffed and pouted slightly at the thought of no martial arts training for him. He lived for his training.

Seifer smirked, head tilting to one side. "Nothin' strenuous?"

"Hey, she said training, nothing else. So as long as I don't go over board, some ‘strenuous’ activity might actually benefit me," he said cheekily.

The gunblader snickered, pushing off the wall. "I'll see ya later, man." He waved at the small blond with a smile and started for his own dorm.

"See ya, Seifer," Zell said while turning over in his cot and getting comfortable, smiling to himself in wonder. 'What the hell had he gotten himself into, and what a rush of a ride it was gonna be', he thought to himself before closing his eyes and falling asleep.

Seifer couldn't believe how much better he felt. Just a few minutes ago, his head and stomach were doing some awful churning dance. But seeing Zell smile had actually felt kinda rewarding. The door to his dorm slid open, the grin instantly faded when he caught sight of the dark form stretched out on his bed.

"... What are you doing here?" he asked quietly.

Squall had an arm over his stomach, the other tucked behind his head. He looked at Seifer, dark blue locking with eyes the colour of a sea's turmoil.

"Lying down." He sat up and swung his legs over the side before rising to his feet. "I left some of my stuff here."

Seifer stepped in quickly, closing the door behind him. "Well hurry up," he motioned at the exit. "I need to take a shower."

The brunette gave him a look. "Nothing I haven't seen before." Squall stepped in close, bending his head down to roam over Seifer's vest, though never touching. After a moment, he straightened and looked Seifer in the eye. "You slept with him, didn't you?"

Seifer was taken aback by the cold accusation in Squall’s gaze. // Well, no, but... // "How the hell is that any of your business? 'Member, you left, so you ended it. What I do's got nothing t'do with you, Squall."

Squall's look was nonchalant, if indifference could be described as such. "You've got no standards, Seifer." He started for the open bathroom, motioning with one hand. "Not everyone wants to view your little groping sessions." Squall leaned back against the doorframe, expression impassive. "And in an elevator... ?"

Seifer growled low in his throat, tugging off his vest as he grabbed a towel and made for the bathroom. "Yer statin' the obvious. My taste must really suck if I was ever with you." He was stopped short as a hand clamped over his throat, pinning him against the cool tiles of the wall. Despite Squall's size, the boy's strength wasn't something to be taken for granted, as Seifer had learned in the past. Storm grey-blue bored into him as the brunette's fingers gripped tight, holding him still. "Say that again."

"You're jealous."

Squall scoffed. "Of your little fuck toy?"

Seifer's hand moved over Squall's wrist at his throat. "You hate sleeping alone. You can't stand it."

Squall's jaw twitched. "Those small moments when you let me sleep."

Seifer's hard grasp made the fingers on his throat loosen, they slid down his collarbone to his chest. "Is that why you're here? Li'l Squall hasn't been gettin' any?" he taunted, the familiar smirk returning.

Squall's expression betrayed nothing. "And I know you'll give it to me."

Seifer let go of Squall's hand. "You're a bit late. I'm with Zell now, y'see... "

"So?"

"So that's a 'no'."

Squall was silent for a moment, but then he shrugged and took a step back. "Fine." He started fiddling with a ring on his finger, it slipped off and the brunette held it out. "Then you can take this back."

Seifer froze, staring at Griever in dumbfounded silence; he'd forgotten all about it. "I don't want that."

The other gunblader made a sound in the back of throat. "Well I don't want it. You paid for it, so you can have it back."

Seifer felt something akin to a hard ache in his stomach, he pushed past Squall for the shower and switched on the faucets. "I told you, it's yours." // Please don't make me take it back... // He removed the silver chain around his neck and placed it on the shelf by the sink; Squall hadn't moved.

"If you take it back I'll have nothing more to do with you," the brunette stated, twirling the ring between his fingers. An expectant silence hung between them, broken only by the gentle hiss of the streaming water.

Seifer took the offered ring without a word. Squall was surprised when his hand was caught and the ring was slipped back on his finger. He looked up at the blond in question, frowning slightly. Seifer bit his tongue as he bore witness to emotion in those dark eyes; such a rare spectacle.

"Keep it."

Squall didn't know what to make of it. He gave Griever a questioning look, then glanced back at Seifer. The blond was watching him; he looked hesitant and almost wary. Well he wouldn't have to worry about anything for now. Squall pushed Seifer back into the shower, against the wall. They paid no heed to the fact that they were still mostly clad, meeting for a fierce kiss under the rushing water that coiled hot steam over them.

Zell was tossing and turning, seeing the fangs and feeling the crunch of bones once more, he somehow knew it was a dream, but couldn't seem to stop or control it, he was down and in pain. That hallway was there again - Seifer at the other end, unreachable. He called and called to no avail. He tried to get up to run down the long hallway, one arm holding his broken ribs, wincing at the pain, while the other reached out for Seifer, as he continued to call, watching in slow motion as Seifer smirked and turned his back on him; closing the door and leaving him in the dark.

He woke up suddenly, sitting straight up. Sweat drenching his body, he fell back down with a groan. "Damn it!" he threw his forearm over his eyes trying to slow his breathing down a bit thinking, over the dream. That was the second time he dreamed like that. It was starting to freak him out.

Zell rolled over onto his side, staring at the white wall, wanting to sleep, but couldn't. He was almost afraid to go back to sleep, so he got up and walked into the bathroom, relieving himself and then decided to shower, maybe if the water was hot enough it would relax him and he could get to sleep better, with no dreams.

Zell finished his shower and had spent forever and a year blowing his hair up in its spiky style, using nearly a whole bottle of Aqua Hair Gel. He got dressed, bored with sitting in his room and walked out into the main walkway of the Garden, walking slowly hoping to catch a glimpse of a certain taller blonde. When he didn’t he walked towards the main entrance enjoying the fresh air outside.

He sat on one of the benches, laying his head back and looking up at the sky. He didn't know how long he sat there watching the clouds floating by, but heard his name being called, accompanied by the familiar sound of a skateboard. He looked over and mentally groaned and smiled all in one, seeing black, spiky hair in disarray and huge brown eyes in a lanky, handsome frame.

"Hey, Zack, whatcha doing here?" he asked.

"Dude, came to see how ya been, haven’t seen ya around lately," was the reply that implied a bit more, as the boy sat close to Zell on the bench.

Zell slid over slightly putting some space between them, even though he tried to do this nonchalantly. "Yeah well I got hurt, but don’t tell Ma, ok? So I was in the Infirmary for a few days and am still recuperating." His smile was full of friendliness, but nothing more. Zack felt his hopes plunge into his belly, but then a determined light filled his eyes.

"So how bad where ya hurt and how did ya get hurt?" he asked.

"It was during training and I got hit by a 'Rex," he said.

Zack's eyes grew huge. "A fuckin' Rex... Dude... that’s like, shit... Oh, man... And you’re still walkin' and talkin'. Damn you’re a tough little dude," he laughed while slowly putting his arm behind Zell on the back of the bench they sat on, acting like it was nothing.

Zell didn't seem to see the arm. He was too busy trying to think of a way of making sure Zack knew they were just friends. Zack saw the preoccupation on Zell's face and moved in closer, startling Zell when he ran his fingers along his throat under the ear. "Do you ever think of that night, Zell? I think about it all the time and the days after that," he said huskily. Zell almost groaned aloud at this, while he moved away once more, but found that if he moved anymore he would end up on the floor.

"Zack... Look, it was nice, really, but remember all the arguing we did too? We worked better as friends, we decided that, both of us. Ya gotta let it go, Zack, I’m sorry," he said, standing up and walking a few steps.

Zack watched Zell, his heart in his eyes. "No, I remember it was you doing all the arguing. It was you who didn't want to commit, didn't want to deal with it or us, said you wanted to be able to concentrate on your life here in this place and couldn’t afford distractions, I went along with it hoping you would change your mind." He got up and walked over to Zell, putting his hands on Zell's shoulders and then before Zell could blink, he kissed him hard, holding him to him.

Zell pushed Zack away, using the back of his hand to wipe the kiss off, feeling guilt when he saw the hurt in Zack's warm brown eyes; he sighed. "Damn, Zack. Look, I’m sorry, but I’m... kind of with someone right now. Please, I would like for us to be friends, but we can't be anything else."

Zack looked at Zell intently. "Who is he, do I know him?" he asked, instinctively knowing it was a he, as they had talked about their preferences.

Zell looked up into the stars. "You don't know him... Hell, sometimes I don't know him..." he smiled softly.

Zack watched the little smile on Zell's face and felt his heart fall, he wanted Zell, he wanted him badly, and wasn't sure how to get him back. But he would find a way, Zell would be his, some how some way, they were meant to be together; he just had to show Zell this. For now he would bide his time and sit back and be a friend and pounce when he saw the time was right.

"Dude... So like learned any new tricks on the board?" Zack asked in a friendly tone.

"No, not lately..." Zell said, glad that Zack was being a good sport.

"Wanna try some?" He was asked and walked over and took the board from Zack and began to ride it doing stunts. Zell was doing jumps and laughing as he was rusty and would fall. Each time he did, Zack had to restrain himself from wanting to run over and see if he was ok. He watched with longing in his eyes, hiding it when Zell looked over his way, simply smiling.

Zell could feel himself getting sore and tired and he walked back over to Zack handing him the board. "Your turn, dude. I wanna see what new stuff you've learned." Zack took the board and began doing hand stands on it and other jumps while Zell called out encouragements to him. When Zack was done skating, he came over and sat near Zell once more.

"Hey you got any good eats around here?" he asked.

Zell grinned. "Hell yeah. They got awesome hot dogs here, if we can get them in time."

"Well what are you waiting for? Take me to the hot dogs, dude." They both got up and walked into the Garden, laughing and joking. Zack made sure he walked close to Zell, but making it seem like was nothing. Zell who was telling a joke didn't even realize how close Zack was, just contiued to go on with his joke.

Once they had gotten their food they sat at a table talking about the antics of mutual friends and laughing uproariously, time escaping Zell; he was having fun.

Seifer couldn't rest. He was too tense, his stomach actually hurt from not having relaxed for so long. What was he doing?? Oh, he knew exactly what he had done and how... the last few hours were still spinning through his mind. Squall lay on his side beside the blond, tracing lazy patterns on the fine, smooth skin of Seifer's chest.

Abruptly, Seifer sat up and let out a shaky breath, pulling the sheet to his waist. Squall rose and leaned back against the wall, a hand resting on the blond's shoulder. When he got no response, he kneeled forward and wound his slim arms around Seifer's waist, pressing himself to the sweat-cooled back; Seifer shivered. Squall pressed a kiss to his shoulderblade, tongue flicking out to lap briefly.

Seifer gasped and started to pull away, Squall let him go without protest, already knowing where this was leading. Seifer stood, wrapping one of the sheets around himself. "Squall, look... "

The brunette waved dismissively. "Never mind." He drew his knees up to his chest and leaned his forehead against them. Damn, he was tired.

Seifer waited, not sure what to say. "No, you gotta hear this-"

Squall silenced him with a sad look. "Please don't talk right now."

Seifer reached out to brush Squall's hair back to see his eyes, but Squall just pushed his hand away.

Seifer sighed. "C'mon, don't start this again."

Squall wrapped his arms around his knees. "We never ended things, you know."

"You left before we could."

A nod. "Things were getting..."

Seifer pursed his lips. "It's cos o’the ring, isn't it?"

Squall said nothing, but Seifer knew it must have been. Seifer placed his hands on hips, not quite sure what to do. Squall couldn't hang around forever, but he didn't want to order him to leave. He swallowed, casting an odd glance back at the door. "You didn't have to keep it, y'know. If it bothered you that much."

" ... "

This had to be settled. Seifer motioned with a hand, the other still planted on his hip. "So, what...? You just want the sex? Is that it?"

Squall's hands tangled in his hair as he bent his head forward. " ... "

Seifer shook his head. "'Cos you know I'm with someone. Man if you’re just out for the quick one, you're gonna have to find another fuck buddy, cos I don't do that."

"Bullshit."

Seifer blinked. "S'cuse me?"

Squall finally looked at him. "We never made anything serious until you gave me this," he held up the hand bearing Griever. "This doesn't make any sense. Don't pretend you're above what we do because you didn't pull any resistance in there," Squall nodded at the bathroom. "Zell's just another name on your list. You're not going to stop until you've gone through all of Garden."

Seifer grit his teeth. "You've got a lot of nerve, Leonhart."

Squall rolled his eyes, falling back against the pillows. "And we're back to surname basis." He gave Seifer a pointed look. "You're too capricious, Seifer. People like you aren't made for anything but a quick fuck."

Seifer rolled his eyes, heading for the bathroom. He'd had enough. "Anytime, Leonhart. You know where the door is."

Squall was already climbing to his feet and he began rifling through the drawers; evidently he had indeed left some of his belongings here. Slipping on a black shirt and loose jacket, he pulled a pair of jeans on, not bothering with boxers. The denim hung rather loosely, digging deeper into the drawer, Squall found a leather belt and quickly adorned that as well. Seifer reemerged from the bathroom with their drenched attire in his hands.

"I can put this all through the drier and send it back to ya... " Seifer began. Squall shook his head, and took back his wet clothing.

"Don't worry about it."

Seifer stopped him when he was already at the door. "Squall, just tell me now what you want."

Squall paused, hand hovering over the control panel. "... When I figure it out, I'll tell you." And with that he was gone. Seifer collapsed onto his bed, groaning with exasperation as he buried his head in his pillow. The scent of Squall's shampoo was still present, he inhaled deeply as reality struck home. What had he done? But even more... how was he supposed to face Zell now?

Mentally uttering a string of curses, Seifer glanced at the clock and realised he'd left the other blond's dorm more than six hours ago. Oh, hell. He was expected... But somehow he couldn't bring himself to the thought of meeting Zell in the light of recent events. He'd fucked himself beyond belief.

Zell was getting sleepy and told Zack this.

"Well then... Why not getcha back to your room, and then I’ll head out?" he said.

Zell was too tired to disagree and they both got up, throwing their trash away and walking back to Zell's room. "Can you find your way out of here ok? Or would you rather I walk ya back out?"

"Naw it’s cool, I can find my way out. Come on, you’re the one that is still recuperating," he said while putting his arm over Zell's shoulders in what seemed to Zell a friendly gesture.

"Thanks, dude..."

When they got to Zell's room, Zell was kind of hoping to see Seifer in the room but then thought about it and figured if he wasn't it was probably better this way as Zack was still with him. They walked in and Zell trudged over to his cot, taking his jacket off and throwing his stuff everywhere carelessly, while Zack followed behind him picking things up, straightening everything up with a smile on his face.

"Dude, you’re such a slob, you know it. You *need* someone like me to keep your stuff picked up," he half-jokingly said. Zell merely smiled tiredly, the bags under his eyes showing just how bad he was, and his body was stiff and sore, he was paying for his earlier hijinks.

Zell lay on the bed, too tired to even take off his shoes. Zack took pity on Zell and walked over, also hoping that this stayed with Zell later and he thought kindly of Zack. He took Zell's shoes off then helped undress Zell down to his skivvies, trying to hide the lust in his eyes, Zell was oblivious to it all, having trouble holding his eye lids open at all. Zack helped him under the covers and then brushed his hair back slightly. He saw that Zell was sound asleep and smiled, leaning down and softly kissing his forehead, then stood up and watched him, admiring how adorable Zell looked.

The tattoo that Zell had gotten a few months ago while they were together sat upon the little blonde’s face perfectly, he still couldn't believe that Zell had done it. It had been a dare, but Zell was always a pugnacious shit, and had a small chip on his shoulder, always was out to prove he was tough. But it only increased his appeal in Zack's eyes. Zack sighed and picked up his board and walked out of the room reluctantly. Slowly, taking one last lingering look from his vantage point at the open door, he turned and walked out, closing the door softly.

Seifer was mulling. Such deep contemplation was not a usual practice for the blond, and frankly it was giving him a headache. His boots echoed in the empty hallway, most cadets had already retired to their own dorms. As he turned the corner, he collided with a youth about his age, with spiky black hair. He had a skateboard tucked under one arm, from his dress and composure, Seifer could tell that this boy wasn't a student at Garden. He didn't stop, though slowed his pace and threw a small apology over his shoulder.

Zack wanted to say something cheeky but the look on the other guys face didn't look too happy and he wasn't known as a great fighter, so he bit his tongue and kept walking, thinking of Zell and strategies that might help him get his heart's desire.

Standing in front of Zell's door, Seifer suddenly realised that he didn't know the entry code. He was only here because he said that he would come back. Shifting from one foot to the other, he silently debated whether he should turn back while he still had the chance. What was he going to say to Zell? Should he tell him? Suffice to say that his recent encounter with Squall was troubling him.

Zell had told him to speak if Seifer was being bothered by something. Seifer didn't think he had the courage. He reached out and punched the button for the intercom, a beep answered him and he took a step back, anxiety escalating with every moment. Suddenly he didn't want to be here.

Zell was in dreamland, he heard a noise, but couldn't be bothered to figure out what it was. He turned over and tried to break through the waves of sleep, trying to get up.. He did so, groggily and headed for the door, still in just his underwear. He opened it leaning against it still half asleep…

Zack had gotten half way to the entrance of the Garden when he realized he had left his keys in Zell's room. 'Shit', he thought, he would have to go back and get them. He jogged back, hoping that Zell wouldn't be out completely, and that he would be able to get his key. He turned the corner and saw the same arrogant lookin' guy in front of Zell's door, 'ah fuck', he thought. ‘Don't tell me that's who Zell is involved with... Shit. Now how do I compete?' was his first thoughts, his steps slowing.

Seifer blinked in surprise at Zell’s appearance when he opened the door and leaned heavily it; he must have been sleeping. "Oh, did I wake you?"

"Uh-huh... So... washup?" he said sleepily, trying to cover his huge yawn with his hand.

"... What?" Zell's speech was slurred with sleep, Seifer could hardly understand him.

Zell smiled up at Seifer. "Sorry…” He yawned again. “I asked what’s up."

Zack had made it to the door by this time and chuckled at Zell's appearance. "Dude, I know your Ma taught ya better then to open a door in your skivvies," he said. " I forgot my key, dude. Left it on your nightstand."

"Ah, kiss my ass," Zell said jokingly and moved out of the way. "So go get your key."

Seifer turned in surprise to the newcomer; it was that kid he'd bumped into. He too stepped to the side without a word as the black-haired boarder moved past him, Seifer gave Zell an odd look but still said nothing, waiting until they were alone.

Zack moved into the room quickly and then put his hand on Zell's shoulder as he got ready to walk past him. "Come to the skate park next Saturday, it's gonna be rad. And dude, get some rest. That stuff ya did earlier is gonna kick in and be a bitch to your body if it ain't already." He smiled and glanced at Seifer then walked out, calling over his shoulder, "See ya, man. Call me later." Zell agreed to.

Seifer watched the kid disappear round the corner before he turned to look at Zell. "Don't ever tell them to call cos then they won't." He walked past Zell into the room, and glanced around in the darkness for somewhere to sit.

"Huh?? Shit... He always does what he says. He's reliable that way, like clockwork," Zell said while following Seifer into the room farther, sitting on his bed. "Did ya sleep good?" he asked innocently.

Seifer found the desk and leaned back, crossing his arms. "Close the door."

Zell got up and walked back over and closed the door automatically, not thinking about it at all. He then went back and sat on the bed cross-legged, waiting and looking at Seifer, still yawning like mad.

"So I guess you're waiting for me to ask who that was?" Seifer said finally, looking to where he could discern Zell's outline in the shadows.

Zell looked confused. "Um... actually, no. Wasn't even thinking of it at all, he's one of my buds from Balamb is all," he said his mind still fuzzy from sleep.

Seifer stared hard at his boots, even though he couldn't see them. He was frowning deeply, and rather surprised that he wasn't actually jealous. He wondered why. Perhaps because his relationship with Squall was more betrayal than Zell would ever do to him. He nodded, concluding that Zell wasn't the type to cheat. Not like him. He nodded and tapped his fingers on the desk, surmising what he should do.

"Okay," he said simply, pushing off from the desk and stepping over to the bed. Cadet dorms were rather modest.

Zell still watched Seifer, confusion in his eyes, but he waited patiently for whatever it was Seifer was gonna say. Sleepiness contributed to his patience in a big way.

Seifer stood at the bedside, Zell seated before him. He couldn't stop frowning, for some reason; though, he wasn't angry. Reaching out, he ran his fingers over Zell's tattoo, its dark mark vibrant under the dim moonlight that came in through the windows. His hands held the sides of Zell's face, just under the jaw and wound round his nape. He stood still, not quite sure what he was doing.

Zell leaned into the caress, his eyes fluttering closed and he sighed sweetly.

// What am I going to do with you? // Seifer leaned forward, kissing Zell's forehead gently. "... 'M sorry," he murmured against the skin, guilt building within him like a lead weight.

Zell looked up. "For what, babe?" he asked, and once more yawned.

Seifer eyes flickered up to the wall behind Zell, as his hands gently kneaded the muscles in the martial artist's neck. He didn't know what he could say that would be enough... His lips moved down to kiss Zell's brow and he settled down on his knees before the bed; claiming Zell's mouth with a kiss. He wanted to be gentle, but the desperation was starting to leak through. Suffice to say; he didn't reply. Zell kissed him back, but it wasn't with his usual fervor. He broke the kiss and leaned his forehead against Seifer's.

"Seifer, I’m sorry, I just hurt so damn bad right now, and I'm soo tired."

Seifer's hands caressed the sides of Zell's torso, he nodded. "Yeah, I know." He managed a smile and brushed his lips against Zell's once more. "Sleep. I shouldn't have... done all that stuff before, when you just woke up," he added sheepishly.

Zell laid back then reached for Seifer with a sleepy smile. "Naw it's cool, I’m glad you did. You gonna stay with me?" he asked shyly.

Something in Seifer's chest tore as Zell reached for him, he took the offered hand and climbed up next to Zell, an arm winding round the bare frame as he pulled sheets up over them. "Yeah... I'll stay."

Zell got comfortable next to Seifer, smiling happily. "I'm glad you’re staying. Maybe this time I won't dream," he said thoughtlessly as he fell asleep, softly snoring quickly.

Zell could feel the fangs once more, could feel his helpless rage and wanted to cry. Nothing he did worked, he was being torn apart and couldn't help himself. Then suddenly he was back in that long corridor, running and calling out for Seifer getting no where fast. He tossed and turned in bed, while his dreams took control of him. His body soaking in sweat once more, he called out "Seifer" once, twice... Until suddenly he sat up breathing quickly and heavily, his hand to his forehead, he groaned.

"Damn... Not again..."

Seifer was startled from a light doze when Zell suddenly tore free of his embrace. The younger blond was shaking as he sat up, hunched. Seifer propped himself up on his elbows, brow set in concern. "Hey," he placed a hand on the trembling shoulder. "You alright?"

Zell looked at him, wanting to throw himself in his arms and burrow himself there safely. Part of himself castigated himself for the weakness, the little insidious voice that always pushed him past everything trying to prove he was just as tough as everyone else.

"Um... Yeah. Yeah, it was just a dream," he said, then quickly got up and headed to the lavatory. Closing the door behind him, he leaned against it, sliding down, and putting his head in his hands while his elbows rested against his knees. He hated these dreams, and didn’t know what they meant.

Seifer blinked in surprise. What the hell was that about? He thought he had heard Zell call him, but he could have been wrong. Dreaming... He slowly rose from the bed and walked over to the door Zell had shut on him. Knocking lightly, he pressed his ear to the cool metal. "Zell? You okay? Need help with anything?"

Zell quickly wiped the tears from his eyes. "Ah yeah... Yeah, I’m ok. No I’ll be out in a minute. Everything’s cool." He walked over to the toilet and flushed it to give the impression that that was what he had been doing. Then turned on the water, looking at the haggard appearance staring back at him. He poured cool water into his hands and splashed his face with it, over and over.

Seifer gave the door a critical look. He didn't believe Zell, but... What else could he do? Hesitantly, he sat back down on the bed and waited for the other boy to come out.

Zell dried his face, refusing to look in the mirror and walked to the door, opening it and walking out. He slowly walked to the bed. Seifer immediately rose and placed his hands on Zell's shoulders, tilting his face up to look at him more clearly as he half held the boy to him. "You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah I’m fine. Just a nightmare, it's cool," he said quickly, while looking up at Seifer, trying to hide the fact that the dreams were bothering him something fierce and he was afraid to go back to sleep.

Seifer's frown only deepened, he brushed the fallen hair back from Zell's eyes. "D'you wanna talk about it?" He wouldn't really know what to say, but he could... listen.

Zell opened his mouth but once again that little voice told him if he did he would be weak. And he didn't want to look any weaker in front of Seifer, especially Seifer... "Naw. It's ok, would rather go back to sleep," he mechanically smiled at Seifer while turning towards the bed and climbing in.

Seifer noticed that Zell's movements were still quite tense. He kicked off his boots, noticing he hadn't earlier and joined Zell. He felt as though he was supposed to say something... Whatever it was escaped him. Instead, he placed his arm over Zell's stomach and held him gently. "Do you think you can sleep?"

Zell nearly laughed wryly, but contained it. "Yeah I’ll be fine." He turned his head towards Seifer and leaned over kissing him softly on the lips. "You should probably get some sleep, you look tired too," he said trying to deflect attention to Seifer rather than himself. It amazed him that Seifer was here, with him. He couldn't see what Seifer would see in him... Hell, he couldn't see what Zack saw in him. When he looked in the mirror he always saw a runt, someone that always fell short of the mark.

Seifer studied Zell's expression for a moment before mentally shrugging. "I'm not that tired." Okay, he had been fucken exhausted earlier but for some reason he just couldn't get into that deep slumber his body really needed. "I'll stay awake... until you fall sleep. Wake you if you start having another nightmare."

Zell looked at Seifer, his eyes huge in the darkness. "You would do that?" then smiled sincerely at Seifer, turning on his side putting the palm of his hand on Seifer's cheek. He wanted to say so much and yet didn't know what to say at all. Once more he leaned in and kissed him softly. After some time, Seifer pulled away.

"... I've been watching you for the last few days. What's a few more hours going to hurt?" Seifer kissed Zell's palm and held it in his hand as he laid back against the pillows. Zell smiled softly and closed his eyes, giving the impression of sleeping. Seifer pulled Zell against him as he laid back, watching the moonlight cast silver shadows over the white ceiling.

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