Out of reach
Disclaimer: Squaresoft owns all the characters. I don’t own anything.
Out of reach
When the small town came into view, his heart scoured. It had been a year since their dramatic leap off the cliff in Galbadia. He had vowed to find Laguna no matter what it took. He needed to, he needed Laguna. He had tried to forget, to move on, but without the secret love of his life he felt he had no reason to get up in the morning. Laguna had always been and forever would be his light. The one thing he needed for survival. Ward kept telling him that he was setting himself up for heartbreak but he was used to it.
When he first joined the army and met Laguna, it was love at first sight. He thought some of the other guys were hot too, but their personalities didn’t match. He kept waiting for Laguna to do something he didn’t like or was against, he was still waiting.
He followed Laguna around like a lost child, he would follow him to the ends of the earth. He soon began to realize how painful his obsession with Laguna was. First there was a girl from Dollet, then Julia. He would watch as his friend fawned over these women, he would comfort him would they left, he had always been there for Laguna and he forever would be there for him.
Kiros knew he friend was straight but just the thought of being near Laguna made him happy. Every time his friend was with a woman, he kept reminding himself that he wanted Laguna to be happy, even at the cost of his own happiness. That wasn’t much comfort.
Kiros walked into the quiet little town. He had heard Laguna was staying here but he didn’t know where. He stopped to ask some people in a small shop. The town’s folk seemed hostile towards Laguna. What had he done this time? He had to smile at that. Laguna had a knack of pissing people off, either you loved him or you hated him there was no in between. The people had mentioned a pub at the end of town. He made his way there. The people had been glad to see him, hoping he would leave with Laguna. Kiros didn’t know what was going to happen yet. His friend may not want to leave; he had prepared himself for the fact that Winhill may became his home. If Laguna wasn’t leaving then neither was he. Of course he would love it if they did leave to go find Ward and go back to Galbadia.
As he crossed a wooden bridge he found himself in a square of houses. A pub stood to his left. He approached, as there were no other pubs around. The door was open but he knocked anyway. A little girl dropped her building blocks to greet him.
Kiros knelt down to her level.
“Hi, I’m looking for someone. Do you know a man named Laguna?”
“You mean Uncle Laguna?”
Kiros frowned. “Uncle?”
“Ellone!”
Both Kiros and the girl turned quickly to see a woman come down the stars. She spotted Kiros instantly.
“Sorry, we’re closed.”
“He’s looking for Uncle Laguna.”
“Oh.” The woman studied him, almost suspiciously. “Ellone would you go find him please?”
After the little girl had sped away, Kiros stood introduce himself.
The woman was pretty with blue/grey eyes and chocolate coloured hair. She wore blue jeans, a yellow jumper and a yellow headband. Kiros couldn’t help but feel threatened by this woman, she had been with Laguna for a year, he only hoped they were just friends.
She smiled in a friendly manner and held out her hand.
“Raine Leonhart.”
He took her hand. “Kiros Seagill.”
“So what brings you to Winhill?”
He paused. Was he really going to admit that he had searched the whole country for his friend?
He shrugged. “I was in the neighbour anyway and I heard Laguna was here so I thought I’d visit.”
She nodded but he could tell she didn’t believe him. She probably felt the same threatened feeling that he did. He could tell that they were more than friends and she could tell that Laguna meant more to him than that. This woman wasn’t at dense as Laguna.
“Kiros!”
They both snapped out of their thoughts as Laguna ran up and hugged his friend. The dark skinned man wrapped his arms around his friend’s waist and closed his eyes momentarily, savouring this moment with his friend. In reality it only lasted a moment but to Kiros it was a lifetime and he didn’t want it to end. But all too soon Laguna pulled away and began chattering away as he always did, asking about Ward and Julia.
He noticed the look Raine had given him after the hug had broken up. She knew and she was jealous. She should have known she had nothing to worry about. Laguna was straight and it was obvious as they started talking that he was in love with Raine, Kiros as usual was second best.
He excused himself after a while. He found a nice hill above Winhill, the grass was perfectly cut, the sky was perfectly clear, everything here was perfect. Why would his friend want to leave here? Laguna probably thought Raine was perfect, in the same way Kiros longed to be his, to hold him, to keep him. That would never happen.
This time Laguna wasn’t in the army and Raine lived here, they had no reason to be apart, they would get married and have kids.
The only thing Kiros wondered about was. What about himself? Would he leave and try to forget? And end up dreaming about Laguna every day torturing himself over something he can’t have. Or will he stay here, be there for Laguna, watch the love of his life slip from his grasp, watch the wedding, the kids. He couldn’t stay; he’d go insane. He felt like he was only put on this earth to be with Laguna it was his purpose in life.
After a lot of thought he decided to leave, to go somewhere Laguna had never been and never would go. He would live in enemy territory, Esthar. His friend would never set foot there. Kiros made his way down the hill back to the pub, to say goodbye.
He crossed the square and froze as he looked through the pub window. Raine and Laguna were kissing passionately. They looked happy, that’s what he had to focus on, happy was good. It didn’t help though, he felt his heart shatter into a million pieces and a few tears fell down his cheeks, he didn’t stop them.
He swallowed hard, turning away leaving Winhill and Laguna forever.
3 years later.
Kiros sat on his sofa in his small apartment in Esthar. He kept to himself no one bothered him, he had even managed to stay away from the war for the most part. The war was over now, he didn’t know how and he didn’t care. Nothing really mattered anymore, he was only a shell now, his heart died long ago after he left Laguna. After all this time he still thought about his friend, still had dreams about him. He wondered how Raine was, if they were married yet, if he was still in Winhill.
Kiros stared blankly at the TV, it may as well not have been on, he didn’t care, and he wasn’t really watching it, more staring through it.
His attention was caught a little when the news interrupted the programme. They had elected a new president, no that he cared. He was about to turn off the set, when the announcer said the new president was Laguna Loire.
Kiros watched stunned as his friend’s beautiful face filled the screen and he gave his acceptance speech. Laguna stammered and stuttered through the words in his speech, causing Kiros to smile for the first time in three years, he smiled again when ward appeared on the screen. The camera panned backward showing the presidential palace where they were standing. Kiros didn’t hesitate; he grabbed his coat and ran out of the door.
He looked up at the tall podium in front of the palace. His friends were up there; he needed to get up there. He forced his way through the people and ran up the stairs of the podium, guards ran after him and shouted at him. As soon as he reached the top, he was seized by guards. He screamed Laguna’s name but no one heard him.
He wasn’t surprised when he was locked in a cell below the palace. They probably thought he was crazy, maybe he was a little crazy, being lonely and heart broken for three years must make you a little insane. If Laguna was here where was Raine? She wasn’t on the podium with him.
He started as his friend’s voice echoed through the cells, getting closer to him. He stood, franticly pacing up and down along to bars. Wanting to see his friend, wanting to touch him. The voice grew louder and suddenly Laguna was there in front of him.
For ages they just stared at each other, afraid to move. Laguna hadn’t changed much; he was still beautiful, still perfect. It made Kiros feel self conscious, he knew he looked terrible. The dark man stepped up to the bars and started to cry. Partly because he was relieved to see Laguna again, happy to have him back, but mostly because Kiros knew he was a wreck now, emotionally and physically, he didn’t deserve Laguna anymore. He smiled reached through the bars and running hid fingers through his friend’s hair. He had always wanted to do that. It didn’t matter if Laguna didn’t approve he had nothing left to lose. He was tired of hiding his feelings, he looked up into the eyes of his friend, showing all the love and affection in his eyes.
“There you are.” He muttered, moving his hand to cup Laguna’s chin.
The president stared in disbelief. This couldn’t be Kiros, this man looked broken, desperate and empty. He moved his own hand to wipe the tears from the dark skin of his friend. Kiros smiled, closed his eyes and nuzzled into Laguna’s palm. The president felt his own hot tears spilling down his cheeks. Kiros wiped them away.
“Why are you crying? You have no reason to be sad.”
“I’m crying about you.”
The dark man giggled. “You don’t have to worry about me. I’m not worth it.”
“Don’t say that!” Laguna reluctantly pulled away, unlocking the cell doors and gently led his friend out. The guards protested but Laguna ignored them. He took Kiros’ hand in his own and went up into the palace.
The dark man looked around in awe at the beautiful place Laguna now lived in.
“Where’s Raine?” He asked suddenly.
Laguna stiffened slightly. “She died a year ago.”
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.” He eyes moved to the floor and stayed there.
“You won’t there.” Laguna started to say. “You were always there for me but she died and you weren’t there. Why?”
“Couldn’t stay. I thought you’d get married and have kids and I’d just be in the way.”
“But you’re my best friend. How could you think-”
“Raine didn’t want me there, she felt threatened.”
“Threatened? What? Why?”
“She noticed I was in love with you.”
Laguna stopped dead, staring at Kiros in disbelief.
“What? Are you still?”
His friend smiled. “Of course. You’re beautiful.”
Laguna looked lost for words. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I couldn’t do that. You’re straight and you always had someone better then me.”
“Kiros,” Laguna closed the gap between them, cupping his friend’s chin, running his fingers through his braids. “I’m not straight and I care a lot about you.”
The dark man frowned in confusion at the closeness but he wrapped his arms around his friend’s neck. His confusion vanished as Laguna gently pressed their lips together. Kiros smiled slightly and eagerly kissed his friend back.
“Are you going to leave me this time?” Laguna asked.
His friend roughly shook his head and kissed the other again.