I've got a Problem

By SilverWing*

"Yoo-hoo! Squall!" Rinoa squealed as she rushed over to Squall, clinging herself tightly to Squall. Squall looked down in horror and annoyance at the girl he thought of as a leech. She was hugging him, clinging to him, never letting him go for one solitary minute. As she cooed at him, he cursed himself over and over again for getting involved with such an annoying brat.

What the hell did I ever see in her? What, was I blind? Shit.

"Listen, Rinoa. I... I've really gotta talk to you about our relationship." Squall said calmly as he pried his arm away from 'the leech' and sat down on a nearby bench. However, as he prepared himself to blast her with the horrible news, he saw her eyes light up with hope as she sat down eagerly next to him.

Ah, hell. She thinks I'm going to marry her.

"What is it?" She asked eagerly, giving him her full-undivided attention. Squall sighed and looked her straight in the eyes.

"Rinoa, this isn't working out for me. I mean, I don't think I can be with you anymore... I just... don't feel the same way." Squall sighed, feeling a huge weight being pulled off his shoulders... for a brief moment. He watched as Rinoa's eyes filled up with tears and watched her sob softly for a while before Squall patted her on the back; comforting people never really been his forte. Yet, before he had a chance to say something, her head shot up.

"If you leave me... I'm going to kill myself." She said very firmly that it scared Squall. Squall chuckled softly.

"Oh come on. You don't mean that."

"Yes I do! If you leave me, I swear!" Rinoa cried, grabbing the lapels of Squall's leather jacket with a grip of steel.

"Okay, okay, Rinoa. Calm down."

"I dare you to leave me! I dare you!" Rinoa challenged, scaring Squall even more. Never in his life had he ever encountered such a crazy woman in his life.

Oh, God... you're one mean man...

"No, No, Rinoa, No... I won't leave you. I'm sorry... I... don't know what came over me." Squall almost spat the words out as he held the girl close to him. She sobbed against his chest as she wrapped her arms tightly around him. She stayed silent for a while, only sobbing before she looked up at him.

"So... so you love me?"

Jesus...

"Yes. I do."

"What am I going to do about her? She's driving me nuts!" Squall rubbed his eyes in exhaustion. After he had quickly gotten back together with Rinoa, they spent the entire day together 'making up' after their fight and Squall was completely disgusted by it all. Seifer only snickered.

"Man, I'm glad Rinoa didn't give me that trip when I dumped her. I'm sorry to say that you're up the shit creek without a paddle, Squall." Seifer grinned, shaking his head. Squall still found it hard to believe that after everything Seifer and him had been through, they ended up best friends.

"Come on, Seifer. Help me out. I'm dying here! She's going to kill herself if I break up with her! And I'm going to kill myself if I don't break up with her!"

"Okay, let's think for a moment. How about... you make her break up with you?"

"Hum... wow... what a concept, Seifer! Please, enlighten me on how you would like to execute this ingenious plan!" Squall gasped, his words dripping with sarcasm. Seifer gave him a warning look before standing up.

"Okay, so maybe it's easier said than done, but still! Give me a break here! We're talking about Rinoa!"

"Alright. Sorry." Squall sighed as he sat down. "How about if I... "

"Hey, whoa, already? I thought you wanted Rinoa to see this?" Quistis grinned as she let Squall suck and lick on her neck sensually. If she didn't know better, she would have thought Squall really was falling for her.

"Fuck it. I want as many people to see this as possible. If she doesn't see it, she'll hear about it." Squall mumbled against her neck as he squeezed her thigh softly. Quistis nibbled on her lower lip before doing something she'd only dreamt of doing the day she set eyes on Squall Leonhart: she kissed him full on the lips and slid her tongue into his mouth. To her surprise, he eagerly kissed her back, making the kiss incredibly breathtaking and passionate.

Oh God... what a kisser... Quistis thought as Squall continued to suck the life out of her as she felt his hands all over her body.

"SQUALL!" Rinoa's voice squealed throughout the entire quad.

Yes! She caught us! Squall thought triumphantly as he turned around calmly.

"Yes?" Squall asked as he pulled Quistis closer to him. Quistis, who had been waiting for this moment since the day Rinoa came into the picture, gladly wrapped her arms around Squall's neck and started sucking on his neck.

"Oh no! Quistis is making you do this to her? Oh, you stupid bitch! Get off of him!" Rinoa squealed as she attacked Quistis without warning.

"No! I've been seeing her behind your back! That's what I wanted to tell you, but you wouldn't listen!" Squall yelled, standing in front of Quistis defensively. Rinoa looked at Squall hard for a moment before turning completely soft and taking Squall in her arms.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Squall. I see what's going on."

"You do?" Squall asked hopefully.

"Yes of course! I've been so busy that you haven't been able to release your sexual tensions! And so you turned to Quistis because she was easy and was there! Oh, I forgive you!"

"Now just wait a damn minute!" Quistis protested as she moved away from behind Squall.

"Yeah, wait!" Squall stammered, yet, he didn't get a chance to say anything else as Rinoa kissed Squall deeply and pulled him back to his dorm room.

"Oh, I do love parties! I'm such a social butterfly!" Rinoa giggled as she latched onto Squall's arm.

"Yeah." Squall grumbled. So far, nothing had worked. He had tried everything. He even tried cheating on Rinoa again, but that didn't work. He tried saying he was going through a hard time in his life, but she insisted on helping him through it. He had said maybe they should see other people, but Rinoa threatened to kill herself again. Suddenly, however, in the midst of everything, he had finally thought of the perfect solution to get Rinoa out of his hair for good.

"Excuse me, I'm going to get a drink." Squall told Rinoa. She nodded happily.

"Okay! Get me some punch, will you, dear?" She asked. Squall winced before nodding.

"Sure thing," he grumbled before running around the huge ballroom. Finally, when he spotted him, he ran over to him.

"Seifer! Please, I have an idea! And I need your help!" Squall grabbed Seifer's jacket desperately.

"Hey, hey! Easy on the jacket. Let's talk over here." Seifer pulled Squall to a corner and looked around to see if anyone was around. When the coast was clear, Seifer nodded. "Okay, what's the plan."

"I need you to make out with me."

"What!? Are you insane?! I'm not gay!" Seifer shrieked, giving Squall the exact reaction he'd been expecting.

"No, please, Seifer, listen to me. I'm begging you. Please! We've been through everything together, we've... we've been enemies! Seifer, please, I'll do anything you ask me to, just... help me out here okay? Okay?" Squall was begging, pleading to the point of total desperation that Seifer felt sorry for Squall. Seifer sighed and stayed silent for the longest time before nodding.

"Okay, okay, fine. But Squall, you owe me big time for this shit! This is going to fuck with my reputation, you understand that, right?"

"I know! And I'm sorry! And I'll make it up to you I promise! Thank you, Seifer, Thank you!"

"Yeah, yeah, so where's the broad so we can get this shit over with," Seifer growled as he looked around the ballroom. They both walked together before Seifer spotted Rinoa first. "There, there's the bitch. Now, you're going to have be... uh... pushing me against the wall. It has to look like you want to do this if this is going to work."

"Okay, so let's get this over with." Squall breathed in. They both breathed nervously before Seifer laid his hands on Squall's smooth hips and pulled him against his body. Their lips locked and their tongues entwined with each other as Seifer pushed his back harder against the wall. Squall propped his hands up on the wall next to Seifer's head as he kissed him harder and more passionately. Seifer felt his breath being taken away by the way Squall was kissing him, and while he knew he wasn't gay, he knew damn well that Squall was an awesome kisser. Instinctively, Seifer grabbed Squall's butt and grinded his crotch against Squall's. Squall grunted a little, yet he continued with the charade.

As the two beautiful boys made out, in plain view, Rinoa turned her head and spotted Squall. He wasn't getting a drink, but rather making out heavily and with much more passion than he had ever kissed her. And he wasn't making out with a girl. Oh no.

Seifer Almasy.

She should have known that their childhood rivalry would bloom into full-blown love. She had been kidding herself. And in no way did she feel like killing herself. In fact, she wanted to run away so badly from the scene. The truth of the matter is that she definitely did not like gay people and now that she saw this, Seifer and Squall absolutely disgusted and embarrassed her.

"Excuse me," she muttered politely to the couple she was talking to as she spun on her heel and left the ballroom, never to be heard from again.

"She gone?" Squall mumbled against Seifer's neck. Seifer opened his eyes a little as she watch Rinoa disappear out of the door, hopefully for good.

"Yeah, now the fuck off me!" Seifer pushed Squall off of him and they both began to gag.

"You know, you're a good kisser, man."

"Shut up, Seifer." Squall scowled.

From that day forward, Squall and Seifer remained the best of friends, closer than they had ever been before. Squall, and not to mention the entire Garden, never heard from Rinoa again, but Squall knew she was still alive, torturing some other poor fool.

~The End~

Seifer: *Grins* "Hey Squall... if you ever turn gay... "
Squall: "Shut up, Seifer."

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