Hemoglobin

Chapter Thirteen

By Scarlet Fever

A low moan escaped my throat as I stood before what I would have told myself was a ghost, an apparition. I stumbled backwards, my ass hitting the table. I tried to catch my balance, but my hand hit one of the cold, cold limbs of the dead girl. I gasped, snatching my hand away like it was burned.

"This is what you get for intruding…." Sephiroth trailed off.

"Shut up," Seifer commanded lowly. His voice sounded the same as it had before, but there was more texture. Maybe it was no different. It had been a long time since I had last heard him speak…..

"This can’t be happening, this is just a dream, this is just a dream, this is just a dream," I repeated over and over, quietly, more to myself than to anyone else.

"What’s going on in here?" I heard Zell ask. He must have heard all the commotion.

"Holy Fuck!" I heard Selphie exclaim. I didn’t know if it was because of the body, or because she was seeing a ghost, just like I was. I couldn’t find the strength to turn my head to find out.

"Are you seeing what I’m seeing?" I heard Zell whisper. "Squall?"

I couldn’t reply. The only response I gave was a slight shaking of my body.

"Seifer????"

"Zell…."

I looked up as there was silence for a few moments. Zell then bounded towards what I was still sure was a ghost. The tattooed blonde wrapped his arms around Seifer’s waist, holding him, burying his body against my former lover’s.

"No….." Was all I could hear from Selphie. She still hung back in the corner, as shocked as I was.

"You’re real!" Zell murmured, his exclamation muffled in Seifer’s chest. Seifer just stood before the smaller man, his arms still at his sides, almost stiffly. He seemed slightly ashamed, embarrassed. His eyes slowly panned over to me, locking my gaze.

"This has to be a dream, this has to be a dream, this has to be a dream….." I kept mouthing, but I didn’t look away.

"Seifer…..?" I heard Tifa ask, hesitantly.

"Close the door," he softly ordered, looking down slightly as Zell kissed his throat. Zell then caught Seifer’s mouth with his own. I didn’t really care, my mind was too busy reeling. I heard Selphie make a surprised gasp. I guess she hadn’t really known that in the past, Zell and Seifer used to show friendly affection for each other almost like lovers would.

I saw Zell pull away, a confused look on his face. He reached up, touching his lip, which was dripping blood. "What….?"

Seifer reached out, catching the small drops with his fingertips. He brought the blood to his mouth, licking his fingers clean. "I think that we should talk…."

"This can’t be happening," I whispered, whimpered again.

Seifer moved fluidly, but quickly. I almost didn’t notice any motion at all. He sat in the chair that was beside my leg. "It is happening, Squall." He sounded mournful.

I crossed my arms across my chest, mainly to stop my body from shaking. Seifer just looked at me. He looked so sad. I closed my eyes briefly, letting a wave of dizziness pass. I swore that I could hear the heartbeats of everyone in the room.

"What the fuck, what the fuck?" Selphie asked, more to herself. "Esemono was right…."

Seifer tilted his head. "Unfortunately, yes."

"Vampires?" Zell asked, slowly sinking into the chair beside Seifer. "But they don’t exist…."

"That’s what I thought, too." Seifer’s voice sounded very resigned.

"So, you’ve talked to the good Reverend, have you?" Tifa asked, perching on the table. She sounded tired.

"Well, if you’re so ‘mystical’, why do you need our help against him?" Selphie asked.

"We have our limitations," Sephiroth answered, making it sound like Selphie was a complete idiot.

"Well, excuuuuuuseeee me!" Selphie spat angrily.

"Selphie, Sephiroth, please." Seifer sounded calm. "It is true. We do have limitations. Like daylight and religious artifacts. It’s hard for us to go against a man who is armed to the teeth with crosses and holy water."

"Why should we help you?" I asked dully. "Esemono was right, you’re killing people….." I pressed the heel of my hand to my temple. "Why shouldn’t we tell you to fuck yourselves for using us and go on our merry way?"

I saw Seifer’s shoulders shrug as he sighed.

"Well, you could do that, but, you wouldn’t want to jeopardize the future of the Garden, now would you?" Sephiroth asked.

"What do you mean…..?" Zell began to ask, but stopped. "You’re the benefactors?"

Tifa nodded. "Yes. It was Seifer’s idea……"

"Holy fuck. This is too much…." Zell massaged his temples slowly. "Why all the secrecy…?"

"People aren’t too open to the idea of having monsters living next door," Seifer said.

"I’m not even sure it’s us who are the true monsters…." Sephiroth muttered.

"Were you vampires before?" Zell asked of Tifa.

"Yes. I may look twenty, but I’m actually closer to two hundred, and Sephiroth is older."

Selphie sighed. "I don’t really like the idea of being used like a pawn."

"We aren’t using you," Seifer clarified. "We actually do need your help." He looked up at me, sadly, imploring. "I….. I can’t change what I am, what we are, but our greatest instinct is still to survive. I’m not about to let that asshole persecute my race…."

"Your race?" Selphie asked. "You’re supposed to be dead!!"

"I am dead."

I sighed shakily, but remained silent. All the pain that I had buried for the past five years was beginning to boil under the surface of my skin. I thought that I was finally starting to get over it, beginning to realize that I would never see him again, and yet, here he was, sitting before me.

"Have you been like this the whole time?" I asked quietly, wondering if he had been a vampire for longer than I thought.

"No. I died the day in Trabia."

"But we buried you…." I was practically whispering now.

"Sephiroth and Tifa took my body before I could be buried. Since the casket had been closed by that time, nobody knew. I’ve been here ever since……" He trailed off, giving me a meaningful look.

At first, I didn’t know what it meant, but then I remembered the sweet feeling of Seifer’s teeth in my throat the night after the funeral, how cold his body had been…..

"I thought that was a dream……"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Selphie commanded, holding her hands up. "Okay, if you guys are weak against crosses, why wasn’t Vincent affected by Squall’s coat?"

"Vincent isn’t exactly like us. He is a vampire, but was created, not embraced, so religious artifacts have no effect on him. He can also stand daylight, if he is protected."

Seifer cocked his head. "You still have my coat?"

I nodded, keeping my eyes on my feet. I couldn’t bear to look at him.

"Uh oh, I think you scared him…." Sephiroth murmured.

"I told you to shut up." Seifer’s voice was even, but I could hear malice under it.

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.

"So, who’s exactly in charge of you all?" Zell asked wearily.

Tifa nodded to Seifer.

"Seifer?" Selphie asked. "But if he’s so new, why is he in charge. Doesn’t Sephiroth have seniority?"

"We are as bogged down with fairy tales as Esemono is," Seifer replied dryly.

"Seifer is what you would call a ‘Savior’, or ‘Messiah’. There is an old prophecy that one will come and lead us to glory against our oppressors, and you’re looking at him."

"Oppressors? You mean humans, don’t you?" Zell asked.

"Perhaps. But, our goal isn’t to wipe out humans. That would be foolish, seeing as how we need you for nourishment. We just want to live in peace. We aren’t all bloodthirsty monsters, you know?" Tifa smiled sadly.

I looked over at Sephiroth. His expression was blank.

"Why Seifer?" Selphie asked.

"I don’t know…." Seifer trailed off. It didn’t seem that he enjoyed his position that much.

"We sensed it in his blood the very first time we met," Tifa explained. "It’s hard to explain, even amongst ourselves, so I don’t expect you to understand…."

"Sensing? What did you mean when you said that you couldn’t sense me?" I asked, looking at Seifer in particular. "Can you ‘sense’ me, or whatever?"

"No, not by traditional means. But I know you’re hear, mainly because of the emotional connection we had….." He trailed off, his voice sad. He composed himself, continuing. "We can smell your blood, hear your heartbeat, feel your presence. As soon as Zell and Selphie walked through the front door, we all knew that they were here, but you…… The only way we know you’re here is because we’re looking straight at you. I can smell your blood now, but that’s because you’re sitting so close to me. I can’t hear your heart, or feel that you’re there….."

"But why?" I asked.

"We don’t know," Tifa answered. "It’s almost as if you’re one of us, but even then, we know our own kind. We can’t hear each other’s hearts, mainly because they don’t beat, but we don’t hear each other, but we can sense each other. Maybe you have some of our blood in you…."

"But why would he…….?" Selphie asked.

I tilted my head, thinking. I remembered the taste of Seifer’s blood on my lips as he died, but didn’t say anything. It was something that I would discuss with Seifer in private, if we talked alone at all. I didn’t know if I wanted to or not.

I turned my head, looking at the body on the table, which had gone forgotten. "You killed her….."

"Why do you care?" Sephiroth asked. "You didn’t know here, and there are billions more where she came from…."

I sighed, opening my mouth to respond, but I knew he was right. I didn’t care about her. She was dead, and that was that. As dead as I felt, as dead as Seifer was.

"See?"

"Sephiroth…." Seifer warned.

Tifa sighed, suddenly anxious. "Look, we can’t do much more now, and we’re all tired…."

"What time is it?" Selphie asked.

"Almost sunrise…." Zell trailed off, looking at the trio before us.

"What? You don’t expect us just to drop as soon as the sun comes up, do you?" Tifa asked, laughing. "I guess it would be kind of amusing if we did. Think of us as shift workers. We sleep during the day, and work at night. We can function well, as long as we’re away from the sun."

"Then why are there any windows at all?" I asked.

"Your room have actual windows, but the rest are two way mirrors, so we can see out, but sun can’t get in…." Seifer explained. "Now, we should get some rest. We can discuss things this evening, particularly the mission at hand."

Selphie made a protesting noise in the back of her throat, but Seifer raised a hand, silencing her. "Remember, you are under contract. Don’t forget, I know the way SeeD works."

"Oh, I guess we should mention that Esemono has hired reinforcements as well…." Zell trailed off.

"Really?" Tifa asked.

"Yeah, Irvine." Selphie said the name like it was poison burning her tongue.

I noticed Seifer’s eyebrows shoot up. "Really….." He stood, which surprised me, because it was such a quick motion. "Besides, we can’t do anything now, the sun’s up…."

Tifa opened the door. "Look, I know this is a lot for you guys to digest, so maybe it’s best to leave you to your thoughts. Besides, I’m tired as hell." She smiled at me, trying anything to break some of the tension. I had to admire her for it. She ushered Zell and Selphie to their rooms. I hung back, walking slowly, like I was in a trance. I didn’t really notice anything around me, just the dull feeling in the pit of my stomach. It barely registered when I felt a body walking beside me. I knew it was Seifer.

"You still smell the same," I murmured, not even looking up.

"Do I?"

"Yes….."

"You have something that you want to ask me?"

I sighed. "…Nothing."

"Are you sure?" He reached out, gently touching my bare arm.

I shivered, pulling away. I wasn’t sure what I wanted from him at that moment. I looked over at him. He looked sad.

"I understand, La Mer. It’s not every day that you see a walking corpse." He spat out the last two words.

"So, were they the ones that killed you?" I asked.

Seifer nodded. "Yes." He didn’t sound too happy about it. He smiled at me, but it was halfhearted. He still looked the same, not having aged in the least. But his face looked ageless. Any childish softness had disappeared, and his cheekbones and jaw seemed to be set in marble. God, he was gorgeous. Even more so than he had ever been.

After a few moments of silence, we stopped in front of my door. This awkwardness between Seifer and myself was so new, so alien. I had never felt uneasy around him before, but…. He wasn’t the same as he was before.

"I’ll see you this evening…." Seifer trailed off, turning on his heel. I saw him go in a door at the end of the hall. I practically fell through the door, mentally exhausted. I stumbled to the bed, collapsing in a heap.

"Fuck." It was all I could say. Seifer was alive? Well, not really, but even knowing that he was functioning had sent me through a loop. Why now? Why didn’t I know about this five years ago? Why hadn’t he made himself known to me? I just stared up at the ceiling, studying it, which was somewhat strange, seeing as how I couldn’t see much of it. I just replayed the scenes over and over in my head: what Seifer’s eyes looked like, the way his cold flesh felt under my fingertips, how his eyes seemed so drowning, how he seemed ashamed of what he was, of what I had seen. I wondered if he was actually ashamed……

Seifer…. I mentally sighed. I was surprised that I wasn’t happier to see him. My eyes stung with tears, thinking about the look on his face when I flinched under his touch. It seemed that everything was only beginning to hit me now. I let out a low moan as a wave of loneliness hit me like a train. I had spent the better part of the past five years repressing all the pain that Seifer had left me with. I remembered the way he laughed when I tickled his sides as we made love, the way he would frown, making his eyes look like a turbulent sea, the way his voice sounded as he whispered my name in my ear, and the thought of having that all back again…..

I sighed. He wasn’t the same. He may look the same, but he wasn’t. He was dead, a monster. But I couldn’t help but wonder if Sephiroth was right, if humans were the true monsters, intolerant of anything different than us… It’s not like I ever was an advocate of the human race or anything. I rolled over restlessly. Out of all the questions that were swimming around my subconscious, the one that kept resurfacing was "Why didn’t he come for me?"

"God dammit…." I trailed off, sitting up. I got up, going to the window. I slowly opened the curtains, squinting as the sun hit my eyes, blinding me, almost painfully. I wondered for a moment what it would be like to never see the sun again. It didn’t seem like that much of a loss. The sun was actually pretty high in the sky. How long had I been lying there? I checked my watch, cursing softly under my breath. It was almost noon. I wondered if Selphie and Zell had had better luck falling asleep than I had. I couldn’t take this anymore, and left the now claustrophobic room. I didn’t feel as nervous about wandering the halls as I had earlier. Maybe it was because I knew that Sephiroth was probably sleeping. I didn’t exactly have a plan, but I knew that I needed questions answered, and not about our mission. I stopped in front of the door that Seifer had disappeared behind, my hand hovering over the knob. I didn’t know if I should go in or not, I didn’t know if he wanted me anymore, if he had found someone more…. Like him. I frowned, thinking of him and Sephiroth together. I sure as hell hoped it wasn’t true. I took in a deep breath, and opened the door.

Inside was completely black, but I found that I could see enough not to bang into anything. The room was quite large, and my breathing practically echoed against the vast space. I ran my hand across the back of a couch, finding my bearings. I made my way towards the large four poster bed. Looking down, I saw Seifer sleeping. He looked almost as he had at his funeral, except for the fact that he was softly breathing. It was so strange, a corpse breathing. His flesh was so pale against the darkness, against his black sheets. I just stood there, watching him breathe. It wasn’t the first time I had watched him sleep, but I treated it like it was. If I had never seen Seifer before, I’m sure my breath would have been taken away by just how beautiful he was, and it was only enhanced by his new persona. He shifted in his sleep, his head rolling on the pillow, so that his neck was craned away from me. I noticed that only a ribbon of his mortal wound remained, paler than the scar between his eyes that I had inflicted upon him. I was actually surprised that he was sleeping in a bed. I guess all those bad vampire movies had made me expect a coffin. So, some myths were true, and some weren’t……

Before I knew what I was doing, I was kneeling on the bed, my face hovering just above his. I curled up next to him, pressing my face to his chest. I couldn’t help but sigh in contentment. It felt so right to be laying beside Seifer, just like it had always been. I was a little strange, not being able to hear Seifer’s heart beating, or feeling his warmth. He was cool to the touch. I curled my arms around his waist, pulling my body next to his.

"Don’t you love me anymore….?" I asked quietly.

"Of course I do…."

I looked up. Seifer was looking down at me, his head tilted.

"Did I wake you up?"

Seifer shrugged. "Not really. What are you doing in here?"

"I….. Well, I couldn’t sleep, and…… I….. Shit. When did I start getting so awkward around you?"

"I’m not the same person as I used to be…." Seifer trailed off quietly.

I held him tighter. "I guess you aren’t."

Seifer sighed. "It’s been a while since we last shared a bed….."

"That night you came to my room….."

"I had to see you one last time," Seifer whispered. "You know, I never expected to see you again."

"But you hired me…."

"I didn’t plan on making myself known to you…."

"Why not?" I asked, sitting up slightly. I frowned at him.

"Because, you’ll just have to leave again, and now that I’ve seen you, it will be too hard….."

I snorted. "Why would I leave now?"

"You don’t belong here."

"But I belong with you!" I cried angrily. "I don’t care about what you are…. You’re still Seifer."

"Not really….."

"You can’t just brush me off, Seifer!" I ran my hand through my bangs hastily, angrily.

He touched the side of my face. "You have a life, I don’t."

I laughed. "A life? A life? Oh, and what a wonderful one it is…"

"But don’t you have someone…. Waiting for you?"

"No." I smirked. "And I never have, and I never will. I don’t want anyone besides you."

"Squall…." Seifer began.

"No! Listen to me, Seifer. Do you honestly think that I would rather go back to the way I have been living for the past five years? It isn’t really even living!"

"But I’m a monster, La Mer…."

"I don’t believe that," I whispered, lowering my face to his. I kissed him gently, tears rolling down my cheeks. Seifer moved his mouth away from mine, lapping up my salty tears. I shivered as metal hit my cheek. Seifer now had a barbell through his tongue. I sighed, moving so that my body was directly on top of his. "Seifer…." I trailed off, emotion coming over me. It had been too long since I had had any sort of sexual contact. "Fuck me."

He just sort of moaned lowly, rubbing his cheek against my throat. He gripped my wrists, almost painfully. I could tell that he smelled my blood.

"Take me," I murmured, straddling him. "Take all of me." I kissed him again, thrusting my tongue in his mouth. I gasped when my teeth hit one of his fangs. He must have been able to control when they were retracted.

He pulled away from me. "Squall…." Shame coloured his cheeks.

"Why are you ashamed of what you are?" I asked, grinding my crotch against his.

He closed his eyes, blissfully. "Because I’m not proud of the things I do because of my thirst…" He trailed off, his voice becoming hitched.

"Seifer….. I love you. Nothing will ever change that."

He cocked his head, looking up at me. I smiled as I felt his hardness pressed against my thigh. "So, you can still get turned on….."

"Squall……" He gripped my thighs, squeezing. I yelped.

"Sorry," he whispered, rolling us over. I groaned.

"Fuck me," I pleaded. "It’s been so long….." I removed my clothes quickly, so that I was laying naked underneath him.

"But I’m fucking dead, Squall. Are you actually willing to become a necrophiliac?"

I snorted. "It’s not the same thing." I opened my legs, wrapping them around his waist. "Please…."

Any final threads of resistance must have snapped, because he began kissing me passionately, eagerly. His lips bruised mine, and his fangs cut the inside of my lips. He used his tongue to work the blood out of the cuts, swallowing it with greed. I worked my hips against his, urging him to enter me. His hands touched my chest very gently. I knew that if he got carried away, he could probably snap my arms off, and that thought excited me. One of his hands caressed my nipples, while the other moved down my body. I arched my body severely, wanting him, wanting sex so badly. Part of it was that I had neglected all sexual urges for five years, but mostly it was the fact that it was Seifer, that I was where I belonged; in his arms, making love with him. His hand trailed over my almost painfully hard shaft, past my testicles, to my opening. He slowly massaged around it, inserting one finger. I took my breath in sharply through my nose, my vision going blurry for a moment. It had been so long…… He moved to insert a second finger, but I pulled his hand away, with force.

"La Mer….? I thought you wanted this…"

"Make it cruel. I want to be fucked, Seifer. I want you to hurt me…."

"But, Squall…."

"Seifer!" I commanded. "Do as I ask, please?!" I gripped his cock, pressing it against me.

"Squall," he repeated, still sounding unsure. He looked down at me, and I pleaded with him with my eyes. He leaned in, kissing me fully, probing my mouth with his tongue. I played with the metal through his tongue, gently tugging it with my teeth. I let out an exasperated moan, spreading my legs further, urging him to give me the pain, the pleasure I so desired. He tightly gripped my thighs, bruising the tender flesh in the shape of his fingers. I felt the head of his shaft pressing against my rectum, then the deliciously blinding pain as he entered me slowly.

"Fuck," I moaned as my vision went black. My hands slid off his body, falling useless at my sides. It had been so long since I had been fucked, so it was like the first time all over again. The pain radiated up my spine, stinging my nerve column, and this made me smile. I felt tears slide down my cheeks as he pushed himself fully into me. The liquid running down my face was matched by the feeling of fluid running down my thighs, my ass. I must have been bleeding. As soon as Seifer caught the scent of the blood, a look of urgency passed across his face. It wasn’t like anything I had ever seen before. Was that the same way I looked when I had asked Seifer to fuck me? I moaned happily as he began to pound into me mercilessly. I just watched his face as he fucked me, the utter pleasure, hunger. He opened his mouth, moaning softly. I looked at his fangs with fascination.

"Seifer," I choked. I could feel the tender flesh around my rectum tearing. For me, being used for Seifer’s pleasure was the ultimate high, and I didn’t want it to end. Part of me did, because I knew I wouldn’t be able to take the pain much longer. The fact that it had been so long since we had fucked caused the duration of our sex to be decreased. But I honestly didn’t care. I had Seifer inside me again, and that’s all I cared about. He moaned lowly in his throat as he reached climax, exploding within me. Seifer collapsed on top of me, lightly raking his fangs over my neck, scratching me, tickling me. I ground my hips maniacally, wanting to come with the feeling of him still inside of me. When I released, it splattered across both my stomach and his. Seifer moaned, the vibration rattling my bones.

"God…." I trailed off as Seifer pulled out. I noticed that his thighs and shaft were covered in my blood. I had never felt a greater high than I had experienced at that moment. I laughed softly as Seifer lapped up my come, his tongue ring tickling me. When he was done, he moved his mouth to my thighs, licking up the blood eagerly. By the time he was done, my thighs were wet from his now hot mouth. I was about to close my legs, but Seifer grabbed my knees, prying them open again. I sighed loudly as I felt the tip of his tongue run over the torn flesh, the source of the blood. He continued to lap up the blood that was slowly pouring out of my rectum, his tongue gently probing me.

"Seifer….Oh, yes….." I murmured, throwing my head back. I felt more tears run down my face, but it wasn’t from the pain. It was from the intensely intimate way that Seifer was touching me. I moaned as I felt Seifer push his tongue into my bloody channel. As he continued to drink from me, I began to feel dizzy. The blood loss, compounded with the sheer pain, and beautiful euphoria I had felt were beginning to take their toll on me. I closed my eyes, my head feeling heavy. I let out a contented sigh and Seifer continued to drink from me, his tongue the last thing I felt before blackness took over.

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