Have you ever sat, listening to nothing with your eyes closed and a clear mind? You'd be amazed at the feelings that it fills you with.

First, you get cold, the hairs on your arms standing on end as the goosebumps appear like a mexican wave. Then, your nipples get hard, and another wave of cold passes through you, causing you to shiver, but not just from cold.

It doesn't take long for the world to start spinning. You can't see it, but feel it. It's so slow, but Hyne, it's something special. You can feel it in every muscle, and you almost unconsciously beg for it not to end.

And then the images start. Of peaceful times, and happy memories.

You're there. You're always there. Smiling at me while leaning on my chest, rubbing your hand in circles on my thigh. Your eyes are so bright and alive like that, your face practically glowing.

That reminds me, there was another storm last night.

Rain as cold as Shiva as it beat down heavilly against my face, soaking me to the bone.

I remember that night in Winhill. The hurricane hitting the town so quicklly we hardly had enough time to get everyone into the cellar at the inn. Who knew a former bomb shelter would come in so handy?

You helped me rebuild the town when the sun came up the next morning. They never really liked me, but they seemed to love you in a hurry.

Maybe because you look so much like her?

But hell, while we were there you were colder than the storm itself, and we were meant to be there getting to know eachother better. Even after everything we'd been through...

I was gonna ask you about it over dinner, but you collapsed before I even had the chance.

Fever.

The Doctors there were sure you were gonna die, you know. Must be Shiva's blood in your veins that kept you alive, at least, that's what Zell's lead me to believe.

It was while I was sitting next to you that I realised why you pushed yourself so hard, to the point of punishment. You were babbling , almost as if your dreams were torturing you. But the one word over and over...I knew why you lived.

Seifer.

You practically screamed the name. It explained everything you'd told me before, but I was so dumb not to realise who it was you were talking about. I thought it might have been Irvine, or even that Nida guy...the one that drives Garden.

Your eyes opened a moment while you were in the hospital, and they were glassy. I'm told your mothers' were too as she held you for the first time...before the light vanished from them.

The Doctor sent me home soon after, told me to get some sleep. I'd only been at your side three days...but, I guess as soon as he said to go to bed, my body agreed with me. I didn't see you until the next day.

And when I saw your eyes in the sunlight, clear and full I realised something important.

You existed because of Seifer.

But lived because of me.

Your eyes were so warm, the smile from them almost enough to make me die a happy man right there on the hospital floor. Then...you smiled, a real smile before you pulled me down to kiss me.

I guess...what I'm trying to say is I miss you.

Everything around here is reminding me of you, and it's driving me insane.

I love you.

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