Author's Note: Little fic with my 2 fave guys, hope it's enjoyable!

Disclaimer: Own just the plot, nothing else.

Elbereth! How many drinks did you have, Aragorn?"

"... Not... enough," came the mumbled reply from the Man.

Legolas sighed and adjusted the Man's arm he had draped over his shoulder, wondering how Aragorn could weigh so much. He certainly didn't look to be as heavy as he felt, Legolas concluded, as he helped his friend up the stairs.

Aragorn was trashed. He hadn't realized how far gone he was until Legolas had helped him to his feet, and then the room had begun to spin at a sickening speed and he emptied his stomach with one violent hurl all over Legolas. Though drunk, he couldn't help but notice how terribly the Elf cringed from being mistaken for a vomit bucket. "Sorry," was all Aragorn could manage to say.

"'Tis fine," Legolas had replied as he helped Aragorn walk, thankful the Prancing Pony was nearly vacant. The Elf had never been vomited on in all his years and it was not something he wished anyone to know about. It was rather repulsive, Legolas mused, as he forced himself to worry about it later. Right now he yearned to get Aragorn into bed where he could sleep off this illness.

That was the only word suitable for Aragorn's behavior in Legolas' mind. Aragorn was not acting like himself - his speech was slurred, though he only mumbled a few words here and there, with his keen hearing, Legolas picked up on the slurred syllables quickly. The Man could also not stand on his own nor could he walk very well either - his balance was frighteningly damaged; Legolas was nearly carrying Aragorn up the stairs!

Legolas thanked the Valar when they reached the top of the second floor. He readjusted Aragorn again and craned his neck when the Man's stubbled face brushed against his silken cheek. As much as Legolas had always wanted to feel a Man's beard, out of sheer curiosity, he ignored the scratchiness against his skin and proceeded down the long hallway.

'Of course your room had to be at the end of the hall!' Legolas screamed silently.

The Man and Elf stumbled, knocking into the walls accidentally. Legolas soon found himself sandwiched against a door to someone else's room and Aragorn. The Man had tripped and fell into Legolas and was now pressed against him with his head nestled against the Elf's neck.

Legolas pushed against Aragorn, ready to continue back down the hall, but found the Man to be as mobile as a huge boulder. 'Do Men gain the strength of a Balrog upon drinking such beverages?' Legolas wondered when he could not budge Aragorn one inch.

"Come, Aragorn," Legolas said strongly, still trying to push him away. "Let us continue. Step back."

"Nuh uh," Aragorn mumbled.

Legolas opened his mouth to voice his irritation but there was Aragorn's beard again and it was rubbing so gently against his neck and oh, did that feel so good! It was something he never felt before against his skin and he found it very alluring. But as it continued to rub against him, he found it rather painful. "Aragorn, please, your beard. 'Tis not pleasurable.'

Aragorn was not very coherent but he sensed Legolas stiffening and pulled away, but only for a moment. His cloudy eyes gazed at the Elf and he licked his lips with lust before snuggling back into the warmth of the Prince's skin. Legolas' head hit the wall cruelly when the Man's tongue slipped out of his mouth and flicked against the sensitive skin Aragorn's beard had turned red.

Legolas' hands clutched Aragorn's dark hair in an effort to pull the Man away but when Aragorn began to suckle against his flesh, Legolas' grip loosened and he groaned instead of speaking his disapproval for such actions.

Aragorn's hands were pressed against the door, and he began to roll his hips against Legolas' lithe frame but it all came to and end when the door Legolas was pressed against flew open.

Legolas fell down onto his back and Aragorn landed right on top of him. "My Prince!" He cried with a smile, wanting to devour the Elf but Legolas crawled back underneath the Man's weight the best he could while glancing up at an unhappy stranger.

"Aragorn, stop!" Legolas commanded. "I don't think this other Man wishes to see a Man and an Elf lay on his floor in such mannerisms."

"What?" Aragorn asked, completely oblivious to what was going on.

"He said get up and get your own room!"

Aragorn looked up slowly to see a blurred face to which he couldn't make out at all. He stared back down at Legolas with a confused look. "Who is that?"

"Nevermind who it is," Legolas snapped. "Get off me and let us move on."

Aragorn removed himself from Legolas and sat on the floor while rubbing his temples, everything was so blurry save Legolas. When the Elf jumped to his feet and offered a hand, Aragorn accepted with a smile. He vaguely heard Legolas mutter an apology to the being he didn't know and felt his arm go across the Elf's shoulder, sucking him back into Legolas' body - getting drunk did have its advantages, most definitely!

"What were you thinking?!" Legolas cried as they continued their petty ability to move forward with any grace whatsoever.

"I was thinking how lovely you look underneath me." Aragorn replied, falling down to the floor, until Legolas slipped an arm around his waist, pulling him back to his feet.

Legolas ignored the Man's comment and said his prayers to the Valar once more when they reached Aragorn's room. "Where's the key?"

Aragorn flew himself against the wall, grateful for doing so when his back popped, and grinned evilly at Legolas. "'Tis in my pants."

Legolas sighed. "Well retrieve it."

"*You* retrieve it," Aragorn countered with a bigger smile.

Legolas glared at the Man and crossed his arms over his chest. "I will do no such thing!"

"Then we shall remain out here." Aragorn stated in a matter-of-fact tone.

"I am covered in *your* vomit!" Legolas spat. "I need a bath. Give me the key!"

"You know where it is. Get it yourself!"

"Aragorn!"

"Yes?"

"Give me the key!"

"No."

"Why did you put it there to begin with?!" Legolas cried.

"I have my reasons," Aragorn replied, his speech less slurred. He watched Legolas as he began to pace in front of him, contemplating on what to do. Aragorn laughed silently, this was beautiful!

"Oh, fine!" Legolas exclaimed finally. "I do not see why you are being so stubborn and childish about this! I do this only because I am in great need of a bath!"

"Of course," Aragorn reasoned, silently jumping for joy with anticipation.

Legolas approached Aragorn and rolled his eyes before slipping his hand into his breeches. "Where exactly is it?"

"Mmm, I'm not telling."

"Don't you ever call *me* stubborn again!" Legolas growled as he slowly trailed his fingers against the Man's warm skin. He specifically ingnored Aragorn's member as he wished not to wander over that piece of flesh, but soon found it impossible when he could not find the key. He was not surprised to find the Man erect, until he discovered how much flesh wasn't capable of being enclosed around his hand from the amazing length of it. He chanced a quick look at Aragorn with wide eyes and felt his face flush when the Man smirked.

Legolas looked away from Aragorn and slid his hand up the Man's entire length, wanting to know exactly how long of a stroke was necessary, and blushed even more when Aragorn let a small moan escape his lips. He felt his own pants become tight and fought the urge to stroke the Man once more. He drifted his hand down below and gently probed around the Man's warm sac and gasped when he felt something that felt very much like a key.

The Elf's slim fingers grasped the small object and pulled it out victoriously. "Ai! Got it!"

"So you have," Aragorn said with a sigh. He watched with heavy eyes as Legolas opened the door and smiled when the Elf came back over to help him into the room. He longed to smell Legolas' scent, it was *very* intoxicating to him - as was Legolas himself.

Legolas brought Aragorn over to the bed, careful to stay out of the Man's reach so he too wouldn't be pulled down upon the bed. He took off Aragorn's boots himself and placed them nearby. "I am taking a bath," he announced. "I would advise you to do the same but not until the morn. I fear I cannot hold you up and that would result in you drowning and that would be a terrible thing. Undress yourself and upon my return I will get you anything you need."

Aragorn looked up to voice his need for Legolas but the Elf was all ready gone. "Damn! He is addicted to bathing!"

Legolas wrapped a towel around his waist and wondered what he was to do about fresh clothing. He realized he would just have to wait for his clothes, that he had soaked, to dry. Surely Aragorn was sleeping by now and wouldn't grow lustful over him wearing only said garment if he was not awake.

There was a big part of Legolas that wanted Aragorn very badly but not while the Man was drunk. If anything were to happen between them it would be when *both* of them were sober and aware of their actions.

Legolas stepped out of the bathing room and grew very curious when he didn't see Aragorn laying on the bed where he had left him. Did he go back downstairs, he asked himself, while walking over to the door to peer outside. He then remembered he was only in a towel and chose not to. He turned back around and gasped when a pair of wide grey eyes stared at him intently. "Aragorn?! You should be lying down."

"How am I supposed to get any sleep with you looking like that!" Aragorn exclaimed as he approached the Elf, licking his lips slowly.

"Sorry," Legolas muttered.

"Do *not* apologize fair Prince," Aragorn said, only inches away. "Never apologize for your beauty."

Legolas flushed and looked away. Aragorn grasped his chin and lifted his head until their eyes met. "And do not look away from me when I give you a compliment."

Legolas raised a golden eyebrow at the Man. "You no longer slur your words. Why is that? I have little knowledge of a drunken Man, yet I know it takes longer than this to become healthy again."

Aragorn sighed. "Perhaps I was not as drunk as you thought."

"You fooled me?!" Legolas said with surprise. "But how? You vomited and your actions were so very different! And why? Why would you do such a thing?!"

"I have learned many stunts over my years, Legolas, fooling you was quite easy and as to why... I thought it was the only way I could ever touch you. I knew you would put up with me if I was drunk but I realized after some time how wrong it was of me to do so. I cannot win your heart by putting on such an act, your body maybe, but not your love. I am sorry, Legolas, so very sorry."

The Man dropped his head and looked more pathetic now then when he had while stumbling earlier. Legolas grasped the Man's stubbled chin and brought his head up gently. "If only you had known that you all ready held my heart than you could have saved yourself the embarrassment of playing a drunken fool."

Aragorn's eyes lit up at Legolas' words and as badly as he wanted to say how happy his heart was, he could not help but point out the obvious to the Elf. "A drunken fool who got you to put your hands down my pants!"

"You know me to be stubborn," Legolas replied, "I would not have done that if I truly did not wish to do so."

"So you will do so again?"

"Yes, if we get locked outside of our room again, then yes, I will!"

"You are evil!" Aragorn said with a chuckle as he closed himself against the Elf. "And beautiful. So beautiful you are, Legolas."

Aragorn closed his eyes and leaned forward to taste Legolas' lips with his own, but grew surprised when all he met with was Legolas' cheek. He opened his eyes and stared at the fair creature with uncertainty. "Why did you pull away?"

"Because I just remembered something."

"What?"

"You vomited!"

"Yes, and?"

"And I've all ready felt it upon my clothing and have grown to loathe it. I do not wish to know what it tastes like!"

Aragorn laughed. "Do you have any idea how childish you sound right now?"

"Childish, maybe, but a clean child I am."

"I have all ready washed my mouth out, Legolas," Aragorn explained with a warm smile. "Come here. Let me taste you."

Legolas complied and felt his heart soar when the Ranger gently pressed his lips against his. It was a sweet, soft kiss that lasted for long moments until Aragorn pushed him against the wall and plunged an active tongue into his mouth. Legolas moaned and welcomed the invasion with a hunger he didn't know existed until now. He wrapped his arms around the Man's neck and returned the kiss with as much passion as Aragorn. He moaned again when Aragorn lowered his lips to his chest, laying soft kisses upon his skin. So gentle his Ranger was, so gentle that it startled him when the Man bit at one of his nubs. He jumped a bit but strong hands held him still at the hips while the torture continued upon his nipple.

Legolas then felt the towel slip away from his waist and a gasp brought him out of his reverie. "What be the matter?" He asked out of breath.

"You are more beautiful than I ever imagined." Aragorn replied. "Come, join me in bed."

Legolas allowed himself to be led by Aragorn's hand and tried to calm his heart when he was gently layed upon the soft bedding. He looked up at Aragorn with murky eyes and bit his lip. "Aragorn, it has been a while for me. I have not mated in quite some time and-"

"Shh," Aragorn whispered as he placed a finger against the Elf's lips. "You'll be fine. I won't hurt you."

More kisses were bestowed upon Legolas' body and he could feel the Ranger's heart beating strongly when the Man layed atop of him. Legolas vaguely caught the odor of a flowered oil as Aragorn fumbled with something nearby. He was then caught once more by the lips and Aragorn slithered his tongue inside wildly. Legolas liked the feel of Aragorn's tongue against his and he battled with it vicously until he felt himself being intruded elsewhere with one of Aragorn's fingers. He tensed immediately, he knew it was the wrong thing to do but he was so damn nervous he forgot how badly he wanted this.

"Don't resist it," Aragorn whispered soothingly into his curved ear, followed by a teaseful lick. "Feel what I'm doing, Legolas, I'm exploring every inch that I can. Enjoy it, don't run from it."

Legolas relaxed his muscles and was groaning from pleasure and not pain within moments. He knew Aragorn had entered more fingers inside of him but it did not cause him agony, only pleasure.

As The Ranger rolled his fingers over Legolas' prostate, the Elf nearly lost himself. Aragorn sensed this and retracted his fingers slowly. He pushed Legolas' legs apart with his knee and kissed him softly. He gently pushed himself within Legolas and held onto the Elf tightly when he winced in pain.

"Elbereth!" Legolas gasped. "You are huge, Aragorn... I do not think I can do this."

"Yes, you can." Aragorn replied softly, stroking the Elf's sweaty brow. "Just relax."

Legolas tried to relax the best he could but when Aragorn pushed in a little further, he cried out again. "No, it is too painful. Please..."

Aragorn placed both his hands on each of Legolas' flushed cheeks and stared down with loving eyes. "Look at me, Legolas." When the Elf opened his eyes, Aragorn continued. "Do you want this? Do you want to be considered as one being with me?"

"More than anything," Legolas whispered. "But it hurts and-"

"And it will only hurt for a short time. Please, do this for me. I want to be inside you, Legolas. I love you and I want to be whole with you."

Legolas nodded his head and sighed. "Love you too, make it quick then. Just... push yourself in with one- Ai! Ai!"

"Sorry," Aragorn apologized, now fully sheathed within his Elf, "but you talk too much. Are you all right?"

Legolas clutched the sheets with white knuckles and nodded his head. He could feel large amounts of sweat arising all over his body along with an incredible amount of heat. This was very uncomfortable and it hurt more than he remembered it ever hurting before, but when Aragorn rotated his hips and moved inside of him gracefully, Legolas felt the pain lessen.

It wasn't long until Aragorn found a rhythm they both enjoyed and it brought happiness into his heart when he heard Legolas moaning with pleasure. It felt like Legolas was the only being he could ever communicate with like this. The Elf's heat that he invaded was the most intoxicating and heknew he would never stop loving Legolas. His heart beat in rhythm to the Elf's name and he kept saying aloud his 'I love you's' to Legolas as if they were the only words he knew.

"I love you, Legolas."

Thrust.

"I love you, Legolas."

Thrust.

"I love you, Legolas."

Release. Fulfillment.

"I love you, Aragorn."

Completion.

"I love you, Legolas."

"You need to get drunk more often."

Laughter.

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