Indecision
By Link621
Author's Notes: This story is a sequel to "Stuck in a Moment". I decided that Relena was a bad idea, but this is much more complicated than the first one. This is a final ending to the love triangles, though! A happy ending for all you guys who read the first one! The song is by Eagle Eye Cherry, and you all know that Gundam Wing is Bandai and Sunrise. Be aware, this is still yaoi. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Indecision
By Link621
A month had passed since Trowa and Quatre had finally gotten together. Heero was finally at peace with Trowa. Heero had finally gotten over the other boy. Duo was starting to get over Heero, and WuFei was as always, happy exactly where he was. Quatre and Trowa were always together, and happy together none the less. People were starting to think the two were joined at the hip. Some even joked about wedding bells a month after the relationship began.
All this, and it was oddly more complicated than before. Quatre and Trowa had both been only seen in the music room for several days strait, though niether of them would say why. Oddly, they were never there together, either. Duo had been learining how to cook and WuFei had been his taste-tester. This meant that Heero was left all to his lonesome. He didn't belong anymore in the circle of relationships. He was left only to his memories.
//Mmmmm
Well I found my inspiration there
In silent whispers it just came to me so clear
A simple question of what was I doing there//
Heero paused his game of solitaire on his laptop to think. He was recalling the time he'd threatened to kill Duo. What had stopped him? It was the same way as it had been when Relena was still in the picture. Always ready on the trigger, never pulling. He just couldn't decided whether or not to actually kill the person his mind was telling him to get rid of because his heart was holding him back. The only time his heart didn't stop him was against Quatre, but that was the only time he had been wrong. He would never forgive himself for what he had done to Quatre. If only he had known then what he had come to learn by talking to Quatre...
//Hesitation
when I'm standing with my prey
Indecision
about if I should blow him away//
So, he had to live without Trowa. That was just as hard for him as it was for Quatre, he just couldn't tell the blonde. He had loved Trowa from the moment he'd awoken to find the other boy at his bedside. His rage had caused him to attack Quatre, the person responsable for Trowa's death. If he'd known that Quatre could feel Trowa was still alive, he'd never have continued attacking. If he'd known that Quatre and Trowa were also in love, he'd never had attacked. Heero mentally kicked himself on a daily basis for his actions.
Yet still, Quatre wanted to be his friend. The blonde had done everything he could to insure that the two boys would be at peace. At first, Heero thought it was just a means to repent for killing so many people, destroying colonies, and hurting Trowa. Heero was quick to realize that Quatre honestly wanted to forgive Heero and become friends. It hurt Heero to think that he was being forgiven by the one person who should have hated him most when Heero himself was still yet to actually forgive Quatre.
//It's kind of strange what happened from that moment on
What more can I say than that reason he was gone
What they were asking was more than I could bear//
That was when it had hit Heero the hardest. He had destroyed Trowa by his own hands. It was him, not Quatre who had been the possible death of Trowa. Quatre was not the hypocrite, Heero was. Heero had turned to Quatre for comfort, and got what he asked for. Quatre became the most reliable friend he would ever have. Quatre, along with Duo later, brought laughter back into the cold heart resting in Heero's chest. In that moment, Heero had fallen in love with Quatre without even realizing it.
//Execution
what more can, what can I say
The realisation
of blowing a brother away//
Heero's eye widened. He couldn't focus on his screen, suddenly. It wasn't Trowa he had fallen for... It was Quatre. All that time with Trowa had been a subconscience attempt to keep Quatre away from Trowa. Then, all his attempts to get WuFei and Duo together were not to help them, but to get them out of the romantic picture. All of this had secretly been for Quatre, and even Heero himself had not been allowed to know that.
//Mmm
Something in me was gone
Mmm
Something in me was gone, now//
Heero stood, pacing out of his room. Upon leaving the room, he collided with Duo, sending them both to the floor. Duo was quick to stand and help Heero up. Duo was blushing the whole time. "Um... Heero... where are you going in such a hurry?" Duo sounded like he was very nervous.
Heero blushed a little as well. Even in his already complicated love life, it was difficult to not admit that Duo was beautiful. "I need to find Quatre, and fast." Heero explained. He asked quietly, "Do you have any idea where he is?" The usually quiet boy hated to sound so desperate, but at that moment it didn't seem to matter too much.
"Music room, practicing the violin, last I saw..." Duo motioned down the hall. "What is this all about, Heero? This isn't like you at all!" Duo put a hand on Heero's shoulder. "Are you okay?" There was worry enough to fill an ocean in Duo's eyes.
Heero smiled. Without thinking, he bent and kissed Duo quickly. "I'm fine. Stop worrying about me. You have WuFei to think about now." Heero winked and left Duo standing alone in the hall with his fingers pressed against his lips in surprise.
//Hesitation
when I'm standing with my prey
Indecision
about if I should blow him away//
Heero walked into the music room unanounced. Quatre looked up at him in surprise. "Heero? Why are you in here?" The blonde motioned to the room. "Do you want to practice or something?"
"No. I was about to ask you the same question, though. You have been in here often, recently. Is there something wrong?" Heero motioned to the violin. "Usually you only play the violin or piano when there is something on your mind."
Quatre smiled. "Actually, I just wanted to write a piece to play for Trowa tonight. It is our one-month annaverasry, after all." Hearing those words stung. Quatre was always thinking of Trowa. He was truly in love with the quiet boy. Heero had just managed to set himself up for another heartbreak. That seemed to be the way of things in his life.
//A simple question of what was I doing there
Execution
oh, it wasn't a part of me
The realisation
of how things are going to be//
Heero felt his blood go cold as he left the room. He couldn't take it anymore. He had spent most of his life hiding from what he felt. His emotions had been burried by Dr. J long ago when he set Heero out on a mission of murder. The young boy had hardly understood what that would mean. He looked down at his bloodstained hands and felt tears come to his eyes. That girl and her dog had died for his mission... as had countless others. He had spent so long just feeling no emotion to keep the guilt of their deaths from rising to the surface. The more he considered the missions, though, the more selfish they were. They hurt everyone that was even a little close to Heero. Relena, who was on the relentless mission to keep Heero from becoming a horrible murderer had even ended up crying over him. All because Heero himself had never put any heart into being happy. He was so selfish.
//In my commitment to staying away from guilt
I feel no emotion for those I've gone and killed
Heartless devotion to saving the rest of me, yeah//
Heero went and found Duo again, this time with a smile on his face. The braided boy looked absolutely shocked. "Heero, I..." Heero put a finger to his friend's lips to silence him. The boy went quiet, his eyes wide with shock.
"I wish I could have just fallen in love with you from the start. My life would be less complicated if that were the case. Duo, I have to forget about Trowa and Quatre, so please let me love you instead." Heero smiled. "You have my heart, break it if you want." Heero felt tears rise to the surface, so he knew it was time to go. Heero bowed to Duo and left.
He waited for Duo to call to him to stop, but that call never came.
//I take my gun and I give it to my prey
I turn my back to him and I start to walk away
And all I want this for someone to stop me there//
It was WuFei who stopped Heero from leaving the house entirely. The boy put a hand on Heero's shoulder. "You are thinking about the war, aren't you?" The Chinese boy had a very small smile on his face that meant he was actually worried about Heero.
"I don't want your pity!" Heero pushed WuFei away. He whirrled, but only to come face-to-face with the last person he expected-Duo.
//Don't want redemption
Don't want salvation//
Heero couldn't take it anymore. He broke down crying, and was in warm arms almost instantly. "Shh," Duo whispered, "We're here for you." The boy squeezed Heero a little, and it was comforting. Heero couldn't believe that Duo was actually holding him at all. Most wouldn't have wanted to face a person after an encounter like the two of them had just had.
"Duo..."
"I love you, Heero. I will always love you. And, I will always be here for you." The words Duo spoke were remanicent of what Trowa and Quatre had said to one another.
"But... WuFei..." Heero pushed back to look at the two of them. Thoughts going through his head at a million miles an hour.
//Don't want redemption
(In my commitment to staying away from guilt)
Don't want salvation
(I feel no emotion for those I've gone and killed)//
Music began to play from upstairs. It had to be Trowa and Quatre playing for one another. That brought a smile to WuFei's face. He looked back to Heero, in the arms of the one he loved, and responded in the only way he knew how. "I'm willing to try a three way."
//Don't want redemption
(In my commitment to staying away from guilt)
Don't want salvation
(I feel no emotion for those I've gone and killed)
Don't want redemption
(Heartless devotion to saving the rest of me, yeah)//
~~ The End ~~
Author's Notes: I hope you all enjoyed that! Thanks for reading!