Smee-chan requested this of me on... May 22, 2001. I shall deliver... eventually. ::grins:: Ah, it’ll get done. Eventually. ::laughs uproariously:: Hee, hee! ... sorry.

Umm... this is shoujo-ai, and I’m not disclosing the pairing. ::blows raspberry::

NOTE: this is only my second ever attempt at shoujo-ai, and I hope you can appreciate that. In other words, be nice! Thankies!

Comfort and Grievances

By Wannon

       

I waited for you, Zidane... I waited and waited, praying for your safe return. But even if you returned tomorrow, you’d be too late. My heart belongs to another, now...

I guess, in a way, I will always love you. You were my first ever crush... which, in time, developed into love. I admired the way you fought, protected your friends, and stuck to your beliefs. I saw your face as we flew off from the Iifa Tree... And I knew, in my own way, that you had more reasons for going back to Kuja than you told us.

I’m sorry, Zidane. Sorry that I never told you exactly how I felt. Sorry that I may never see you again. But I know, if you still live, that we will meet again one day. I enjoyed every minute of our adventure together... and I would very much still like you in my life. You add a part to me that I never knew existed. Your carefree spirit opened up my eyes, and my heart... and taught me how to live.

Thank you for everything, my friend. I will remember you always...

       

Dagger sighed, and stood up from her seat at the window. It had been almost a year since they had all left Zidane behind at the Iifa Tree, and even though another person held her heart, a part of it still ached for the happy-go-lucky young thief she had befriended, and fallen in love with. The doves flew past the window, overlooking Alexandria, and Dagger let a soft smile appear on her beautiful face. She didn’t regret anything she had done, especially now that the world was at peace.

Humming the song that she had called Zidane’s and her own, she slowly entered the adjoining room, and her face lit up at the person waiting for her. Her General, and lover, Beatrix. It had been General Beatrix who had comforted Dagger, held her on those lonely nights, helped relieve some of the loss she felt.

Beatrix and Steiner had tried to date a few times, but apparently there was just... no spark there. Not like the spark she felt while Dagger was in her arms, while she caressed her hair, wiped away her tears. But she thought it would never be... Dagger was the Queen of Alexandria, and she was her General. Such things would be frowned upon.

Besides, Dagger seemed absolutely heartbroken by Zidane’s... death? Well, they had all assumed the worst. Beatrix had come to the conclusion that Dagger wasn’t the slightest bit inclined to be interested, and it wouldn’t be right to test the boundaries of their friendship, especially when her dear friend had just lost a loved one.

But her ‘dear friend’ had proven Beatrix’s theory wrong, one night. It had been a stressful, upsetting day, and Dagger had been incredibly depressed and mopey. Beatrix’s room was next door to the young Queen’s, and upon hearing the familiar sound of her friend crying herself to sleep, she had entered her chamber and curled up with her, holding her tightly and whispering reassurances. Then she felt Dagger’s lips press to her own, and felt a pleasant warmth spread through her. Beatrix had kissed back, but thought it had been a one-off thing, something that Dagger had done in the heat of the moment.

That was, until Dagger did it again... and again.

Suspicions obliterated, Beatrix confronted her friend, and got the answer she was longing for. Dagger did want her. In fact, she admitted that she was slowly falling for her. Beatrix felt complete. Dagger was finally smiling again. It seemed all would be well.

Until the posters began to pop up through the town of Alexandria. Although Dagger had kept in touch with everyone, to be honest, she had yet to contact Tantalus. It was something she just didn’t have the heart to do, everyone and everything Tantalus-related just reopened the wound that was healing with Beatrix’s help... the one Zidane’s disappearance had torn in her heart.

The posters were advertising Tantalus’s performance of ‘I Want To Be Your Canary’ ... a play that Dagger had always loved, but now held a lot more meaning. She wasn’t ready to see Tantalus, or that particular play again, and it was required that she be present at the performance.

The colorful poster was brought to her by Steiner, and it had stared up at her, a painful reminder of how she and Zidane had met. Her lover, and dearest friend Beatrix had been by her side at that time, and cradled her close as she tore up the poster, and its bright exclamation:

The touring theatre ship wasn’t due in Alexandria for a few weeks, but that made it worse for Dagger, as she had to endure the long wait, each day dragging on and on, driving her to the breaking point. It was enough to make the young Queen want to scream. How was she to cope?

It never crossed her mind then, just how much Beatrix was doing for her. And just how much Beatrix felt her pain, on top of her own grievances. Dagger’s pain coupled with her own, the pain of knowing Queen Brahne’s plans and going along with them, and nearly costing Dagger her life. It was almost too much for the beautiful warrior to bear, but still she stayed at Dagger’s side, loyal to the end, offering constant comfort and love. She understood that Dagger was upset about the loss of Zidane, but she couldn’t help thinking that maybe, just maybe, Dagger should be happy now that she was with her. It was how she would like it to be... but Dagger still held on to Zidane, keeping a stranglehold on his memory, and the slim chance that he might still live.

So what if he did? What if Zidane still lived? Would that be the end of it? Would Dagger merely go with Zidane, and forget all about her General?

Beatrix had those doubts nagging at her, tormenting her. But she would never ask Dagger about it. Never. She was too afraid of the answer.

As the days drew nearer, Dagger seemed to relax a little, which puzzled Beatrix. The pretty Queen was smiling and joking, and Beatrix had even caught her dancing in the kitchen with Quina. It warmed her heart to see her beloved in such high spirits.

But the smile seemed a little... fake, and forced. And Beatrix caught the sad posture Dagger would often lapse into. She hardened her heart. It was for both of their benefits that she did this. With grim determination, she strode towards the room which she knew would contain a depressed-looking Dagger... one that would quickly paint on a smile when she entered. The smile wouldn’t reach her eyes.

       

Zidane... are you still out there? Are you alive, and living somewhere, recuperating? Will you come to Alexandria? Will you forgive me for betraying your heart by giving mine to another? Dagger thought, once again gazing out the window overlooking Alexandria, the bright white curtains being sucked out by the strong breeze. Her royal gown rested comfortably off her shoulders, and the silky skirts brushed against her legs in a soothing manner. Her hair, long once more, washed down her back, except for a few strands which fell around her heart-shaped face. She sighed deeply, inhaling the fresh air of mid-spring. Her expression was one of confusion, and anxiety.

The door behind her opened, and she gasped, quickly bringing the smile to the surface, letting it flatten out the lines of worry etched on her face. She saw Beatrix standing in the doorway, wearing a calm, serious look.

"Hello, Beatrix! What brings you up here?" she asked cheerily. Her lover sighed.

"Stop it. Quit pretending, Dagger. Look, I love you, but this is getting ridiculous! Tell me, okay? Let me know what’s going on. Don’t you think I have a right to know?" she queried. Dagger shook her head, the smile slipping, and melting back into the previous expression she wore.

"You’re right... but you may not like what I have to say... " she said. Beatrix merely shrugged, and gestured for her to continue. Dagger sighed heavily, and began.

"I... I always worry about Zidane. Where he is, if he’s okay, if he will come to visit... I miss him, Beatrix. And I still love him... " she trailed off, her voice cracking a little as her emotions roiled. Beatrix now looked worried, upset with where she thought this was going. Dagger took a deep breath before continuing.

"But... but, even though I love him, it’s nothing compared to the way I feel about you, Beatrix. You’ve been here for me this entire time, and I am always sure of your love. Even if Zidane did return to me, I wouldn’t leave you... I’ve done a lot of thinking lately, my love. I realise I have taken you for granted, and I’m sorry. I know now, just how much you have done for me... and I’m not going to let it be for nothing." She finished, eyes brimming with tears. Beatrix smiled, and they met halfway across the room in an embrace.

"I love you... " Beatrix whispered, patting the silky strands of Dagger’s dark tresses. The young Queen gazed up into the eyes of her beloved.

"I love you, too... " she replied, and their lips met in a sweet kiss.

       

The day of the play arrived, and Dagger was sitting in the same seat her mother sat in, the day she tried to escape Alexandria. The rebuilt theatre ship hovered before her, the stage was set, and the play seemed nearly ready to begin. Dagger turned slightly nervous eyes back towards her lover, who stood to one side of the door, Steiner on the other. It annoyed Dagger that Beatrix couldn’t be seated at her side, but the citizens of Alexandria might not be too accepting of a bisexual Queen.

So Beatrix was forced to stay at her post, a slightly degrading task, but she bore it with good humor. She gave Dagger a reassuring smile, and nodded towards the ship. The play was starting.

The actor who was playing Marcus was hard to place...

Who is that? It can’t be Marcus... he’s too short. Cinna? No, Cinna’s shorter than this person. Blank? It must be Blank. She thought, letting herself be swept away by the play.

It reached a certain point where Dagger found herself drawn into the play. Marcus wanted to be with his Cornelia, but she hadn’t turned up, and the boat they were to elope on had departed. Marcus turned to the audience, and declared his want to be with his beloved... Dagger?!

The Queen of Alexandria’s eyes widened. There stood the one she had been worried about for so long... arms outstretched and a wide grin on his face.

Zidane.

Dagger let out a sob, and rushed towards the door, only to find it barred by an arm of her beloved, and one of Steiner’s arms. She glanced at them both, meeting Beatrix’s eyes. She smiled encouragingly at the frantic Queen, before she and Steiner pushed open the doors.

Dagger ran through the halls, and into the crowd of nobles, who didn’t move out of her way, and she was forced to push inelegantly through them. The crystal around her neck fell, sliding along the dusty ground to mingle amongst the nobles’ feet. Dagger looked at it, before running onto the stage and into Zidane’s waiting arms. They embraced tightly, before searching out each other’s eyes. Dagger’s filled with tears, and she frowned angrily, before pounding pathetically on his chest, tears trickling down her cheeks. Zidane looked bemused, but held her close, stroking her hair. A cheer went up from the crowd, and Dagger looked up to see Beatrix and Steiner holding up the Save the Queen, sunlight glinting off the shiny blade. Dagger met Beatrix’s eyes, and knew, in that instant, that everything would be okay. Zidane smiled knowingly at her, and they embraced again, the doves taking flight around them, reflecting the peace they now felt in their hearts.

Everything was going to be okay...

~ Wannon-chan - 22 May, 2001 – 10:30 pm ~

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