Desperate Sympathy

By Kumaguro

       

He just looked so broken. Dee was usually so full of spunk, zest, life, piss and vinaigre, whatever you wanna call it. Usually when the two of us were alone, he’d find a new way to assault me with his lips. His eyes were so deep into despair, I didn’t know if I could drag him out. I went into my room and quickly changed into something pretty loose-fitting, partly because my suit was quite binding and partly as an invitation to Dee’s usually busy hands. I guess I’d figured if I could get him in the mood, I could get him to forget his problems. Although, I’m pretty convinced I didn’t really want it that badly. I brought him some hot tea. He took it but didn’t even look up. He just stared at the floor and drank it in silence.

“Dee... She was an old woman. It was just her time.” I tried to comfort.

Dee’s expression would have been as easily read as his lips. I could tell that he didn’t want to believe that. I pulled a chair up to look at his face. He wouldn’t even look at me. He just stared at the floor.

“Did you eat anything today?” I asked as it had occured to me that he was in the exact same place when I’d left for work in the morning. “You know I’m gonna be pissed if you leave an imprint of your ass in my couch.”

I saw a slight tug to Dee’s lip. I know he didn’t want to smile but at least it showed me that he was listening to me. I sat closer to him and reached for his collar. He budged away from me. I was thrown back by this. I hoped he didn’t think I was going to force him to look at me. I moved in even closer with my chair. I looked into his eyes even as they ignored mine.

“Dee... I can imagine that you don’t want to listen and you don’t want to talk. Probably because you don’t know what the first words should be. Believe me, I know and I understand. When my parents died, I didn’t talk for days.”

He was so still.

“But I don’t want you to just sit here until the wake. Or at least lay down.”

He didn’t respond.

“Or join me in the bedroom.”

His next smirk was a lot less subtle but I could still tell he wasn’t in the mood to react the way he normally would. I reached for his collar again. This time, I managed to undo his top three buttons and lift his sweatshirt above his head. At least he helped by lifting his arms. In a white tank top, he just looked at me, his eyes coming back to life. There was an expression that I couldn’t determine. It was almost like he wanted to smile but at the same time, cry. Like he wanted to tell me everything weighing on his heart but also, run into a dark room and hide from everyone. Since I was already in a talk top, I took mine off to show to him that I wouldn’t be overbearing. That I wouldn’t force him into anything, even though it was usually him that made the moves, and usually not so gently. Dee looked at my chest, his expression not changing. He moistened his lips by pressing his tongue between them and closed his eyes. He repositioned himself on the couch so that his body took over the length of it. He lay on his back and took a deep breath.

“You still won’t talk to me?”

He still didn’t say anything. I took my shirt and put it back on.

“Why are you putting it back on?”

I couldn’t help but smile. Of all the first words to speak in almost a day, it had to be about my shirt.

“Well, you weren’t going to do anything...”

He scoffed at me.

“C’mere.”

It was nice to finally hear him talk again. Even if his words were of the perverted nature. For him, I would do as I was told. I stood in front of him. He sat back in the position he was in before. Invitingly, he held my waist in, pulling me between his legs. I was as close as I could get to him as he snuck his hands up my shirt like I knew he would. I smiled at him even though his focus was on the elastic of my shorts. He rubbed my torso, grazing his fingers against my sides so softly that I just kept smiling, unaware of his intentions. He brought his hands down to the bottom of my shirt and tugged down my shorts. I gasped as he let them hit the floor. I should have known he would pull a stunt like this! There I stood, uncertain as to whether I should pick them back up and just go to bed but I could see the look on Dee’s face that hadn’t changed at all. He wasn’t enjoying seeing me half naked? His right hand touched me for the first time in a place I could only imagine it would. I never expected myself to let Dee do it. But then again, I’d never expected it to be under the circumstances. The hand that teased me was a talented one. I exhaled, unable to hold in my pleasure. Dee moistened his lips again. This time, he kept his tongue out as brought my penis to it with his hand. I accidentally moaned. I didn’t want to let him know that I liked it. But I suppose either way, he would have done it for himself anyway. His left hand pulled me in by the behind as he took me completely in his mouth. I moaned again. Dee hadn’t done anything and I was already ready to melt in his embrace if I wasn’t getting hard in his mouth. I put my hands on his shoulders for support. I was squeezing a little harder than I thought I would but my body was trying to adjust to the new feeling of Dee on my penis. He was bobbing over me all the way but I wanted him to be able to go further. I wasn’t going to tell him that, though. Even if I could speak, I’m sure my first words would be “stop.” I know I was blushing completely red and I couldn’t stop my heavy breathing. It made me wonder how many more men Dee had treated. Maybe I wasn’t anything special to him. But then again, for him to have waited this long... And for him to have told me before that he had feelings for me... Maybe I was more to him than just another guy to... fuck with. I could feel myself putting in an effort to thrust into Dee’s mouth. Upon realising this, I tried to stop which felt the same as pulling away. Dee felt the same way. He captured me again, throwing me on the couch. He got to his knees on the floor and put me back in his mouth. I just panted heavily, taking in the wonderful pleasure.

“Dee, we shouldn’t...”

I felt like I was going to burst. But I wanted him to keep going. I looked down in time to see him pull off of me and wipe his eyes with his wrist. He was about to go back down on me but I held his face. He looked up at me. My heart hit the floor when I saw his red, tearful eyes. I couldn’t believe how hurt he must have been. He closed his eyes and rested his head on my leg.

“Dee...”

“I usually feel better when I do it.”

His voice was trembling. I had no idea what to do to make him feel better.

“When you do what?”

I was ready to slap myself after asking such a stupid, naive and inviting question. Dee looked at me and crawled up my body, straddling over me. He massaged me as he began kissing my neck. I don’t know what compelled me to do what I did next but by the time I pulled away, it was too late to turn back. I pushed Dee off of me and onto his back. He was laid in the same position on the couch as he was before. I straddled over him and took off my shirt. There I was, completely naked in front of him. He just seemed to look through me again, not even caring about what I was offering to him. I leaned down and took his shirt off as well. He leaned back into my big fluffy pillow and closed his eyes. I took that as an invitation to lean down. That night, for Dee... I would do anything if it would make him feel better. I kissed down his neck, nipping at his Adam’s apple. I felt a slight rumble under my lips. I looked at Dee’s face. He looked so peaceful. His eyes were closed and his lips were ready to part. He looked like he was asleep. I smiled at him and leaned in again, kissing him softly on the lips. I pulled away, looking into his eyes. I’d expected him to wrestle me like he had before. He just closed his eyes and licked his lips. Holy shit, I can’t believe it made me feel offended. I reached for his pants, finally getting Dee’s attention. We locked eyes as I persisted to yank his pants down to his knees. I managed to take them off and slide his silk boxers down as well. Of course I looked as I did that, the larger part being due to curosity. Although, I’m sure Dee would have showed me if I ever asked. It was really pretty and really dark compared to the rest of his body. Not like mine. Mine looked like it was the only part of me that never saw the sun. Dee had a beautiful penis. It dropped between his legs and I had an inexplicable urge to lift it back up. I reached my hand down to it and heard Dee’s hungry moans. I looked at him again. He seemed to be purring. I moistened my lips and seized his anew. This time, he participated in the kiss, holding me in by my upper arms. He fed his tongue into my mouth and it took me by surprise. But I welcomed it nonetheless. Then he pulled away and leaned back again.

“Why do you keep blowing me off?”

Dee kept his eyes closed as he got comfortable.

“Because if we keep going, I’m gonna assume that you wanna take things further. Not just for today, but always.”

“What’s so wrong with that?” I asked, sounding somewhat offended.

He smiled and ran his hands up my naked torso. I closed my eyes and started blushing again. Dee was so talented at the art of seduction. I thought I had him where I wanted him but he turned the tables on me. Again. He smirked at me and ran his hands down to my penis again, stroking it from the base to the shaft. I cooed out loud, unable to hold in my excitement. I leaned down and kissed him again, pressing my chest against his. Dee pulled his lips away again and pressed his lips to my ear.

“I don’t want your pity.”

“If you don’t accept me now, I won’t let you near me like this again for a very long time.”

“So, on top of inviting me to fuck you when I’m not in the mood, you’re threatening me as to when I’ll have a chance next time?”

Dee pushed me off of him. There was nothing left for me to say... Nothing I said was right. All I could do was make myself look like an idiot and a sex-fiend. I sat on the couch and watched him walk off. I admired Dee’s perfect ass as he walked into my bathroom. What was I doing? I didn’t want Dee. Not in that way... So what was I doing checking him out? I laid back on the couch and looked up at the ceiling. I really did buy good pillows. They were so soft, no wonder Dee kept trying to sleep on them. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I was completely lost in bliss. My heart finally started to settle down after all of that excitement. I heard the bathroom door open and I knew that Dee had stepped out. I lazily turned my head and opened my eyes. My smile vanished as I watched Dee put his pants back on.

“Are you... going home?”

“I guess so. No point in me staying here.”

He put his shirt on and never looked at me.

“You look so good, I just wanna do so many nasty things to you. So I gotta go clear me head. You know... For your protection.”

I scoffed at him.

“You don’t think I can’t hold my own?”

Dee stopped what he was doing and looked at me.

“I think you hold yourself VERY well. But the way I would hold you wouldn’t be very gentle. I appreciate the sentiment but I don’t want to have you until we’re completely ready. It’ll be so romantic, I’ll sweep you off your feet and right onto your back. In my arms and on my bed.”

He smiled as he walked toward me. I was a little confused. He extended his hand to me. I took it and he pulled me to my feet.

“Dee...”

“I want you to walk me to the door.”

“It’s ten feet away.”

Dee chuckled.

“I’m gonna want a kiss goodbye until the last possible second. That’s all.”

Dee pulled me to the door. I felt so self-conscious walking to my door completely naked. I was afraid Dee might pull me out into the hallway with him. But he didn’t. He grabbed his coat and looked at me. He pulled me in and kissed me sweetly. My lips tingled as I kissed back. I closed my eyes and took in the kiss. When Dee pulled away, I’d wished he hadn’t. I can’t believe that I gazed into his eyes the way I did. I was completely taken with him. I licked my lips and looked away.

“I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”

“Yeah...”

Dee opened the door and snuck out, closing the door behind him. I just went back to my couch and lay on those fluffy pillows. I’d slept the best I could in months. Thank God Bikky was at an overnight camp so I didn’t have to explain myself.

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