Chapter 35 - Goodbye Aeris Everyone walks to Aeris and give her the last farewell... Kaz: This isn't happening... it's just not happening! Our hero is the last to approach the lying girl... and please, hold your tears as he bends over her and takes her in his arms... Red: ... Xiaoyu: Damn, I hate sad stories! Vincent: However many times I witness the death of innocense, I'm still shocked... Kazuya carries Jun outside the temple... Kaz: It's just a play, right? This can't be really happening... Jun? Talk to me? Red: This is going to be tough... Step by step he walks with her to the lake and goes inside... but Jun's eyes are closed to a sad expression... Kaz: Jun... don't be doing this... you can't just leave me! Mel: MmmgrfiAH! Hah! (got rid of the sticky gum) What was that? Bruce: Shhhht... Kaz: Jun... stop this! I can't go on without you! Something seems to stir in Jun's face at those words... but she's not willing to believe it... Jun: (whispering) It's in the play. Kaz: The hell I care about the play! I only did this for you! Jun: ... (eyes wobble) Well... the others are still around... you can easily pick up somebody else... Kaz: Jun, I don't want anyone else! I love you!! But... what is this? Either Aeris was never dead or we are forced to believe in the power of love... for at hearing the words, Jun gets up, embracing our hero and they meet in a loving kiss. And who would have thought that Aeris's theme could stand so glorious tones and become the ode to everlasting love! But as our hero Kazuya cradles his love Jun into his arms and they passionately kiss as if they were a scene from "Gone with the Wind", the notes of the song are heroic! Because... at the words of Francis Ford Coppola... "Love Never Dies"... Vincent: Frances Ford Coppola could never do justice to Bram Stoker's masterpiece... The truth my friends. The absolute truth. But little does it matter, as everyone gathers for the grand finale... Mel (sobbing): Aw, damn... this is all so sweet! Bruce (drying a tear): You got sensitivities too? Mileena says nothing, instead she pulls Bruce into an one arm embrace and kisses him... Xiaoyu: Errr... gross, err... Siegfried (out of nowhere): Hello... Errinerst du mich? (Hello... do you remember me?) And Ling Xiaoyu blushes... Cid: @#$%^&*, that's some... (turning to Kunimitzu): Owwww... Kunimitzu stands up and blows him kisses... Red: I say... that was... a very unexpected ending... CS: Yea... but I think, I like it better... Red stares at Cait Sith who smiles with guilt as he dumps the script behind his back and he too nods affirmatively... Our hero looks at the girl in his arms with calm contentment... Jun: Always. Kaz: Forever. Shinra guy 1 + Shinra guy 2: (singing) And all the love I have is, Especially for youououou!!! (claps and cheers...) Xiaoyu: Well, I really don't care, but... (looks at Siegfried and smiles...) All right :) Lights turn on under the spectacular music. Audience stands up, clapping enthusiastically as our heroic team bows before them. There they are, marching under the glorious music, hand to hand, or in Red's case tail, from left to right, Red, Cait Sith, Yuffie, Cid, Vincent Valentine, Jun, Kazuya, Mileena, Bruce and following, Hwoarang as Rufus and Siegfried as a guest appearance, accompanied by Jann Lee as the commander and the Shinra guys who are wildly cheered. Whether the applause is genuine or the audience simply wants to go home cannot be told, but it is true when the fanfare turns into Sephiroth's theme, for the entrance of the one and only, his royal excellence, the Silver hared devil of the Northern Crater, clad in black, the one and only Lee Chaolan. He comes floating from above, slowly lowering but... in his arms he is carrying... Uh-ooh! Red: I don't believe this. Cid: The hell? Mel: Wha... WHAT?? Bruce: My, my, my, my... Jun: (goes pale) H...Honey... And our hero turns around... to see that it's Jin Lee is holding in his hands... Kaz: ! WHAT is the meaning of this?? Lee: Surprise! We're wed! Mel (whispering): Soon to be "Surprise, you're dead!" courtesy of Faith no more, stay tuned... Bruce: On a Cinema near you! Jin: Dad, mom... I'd like you to meet Lee... Lee: I'd change all the world's black materias for his cute black head... At which point Jun starts wooing... Jun: My boy!! Why? CS: Congratulations! My best wishes~ Red: Cait... Not now. Deadly silence rules the audience and the cast alike... while they all watch at the speechless Kazuya... Bruce: Hey boss? Mel: Err... Cool it, kay? Kazuya begins to chortle... Jun: ...h...Honey? Kaz: Heh heh... Oh, no... I did learn a thing or two during the show... Vincent: Like... forgetfulness? Jun: Forgiveness? Bruce: Love? Kaz (grinning dangerously): Not quite... I've learned something better still... Like... Swiftly, with the proficiency he has (finally!) acquired, he pulls his sword from its hilt: Kaz: OMNISLASH!!!! Everyone: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! And so the story ends, with Kazuya swaggering his sword as he chases Lee and Jin, Jun after him, people running out of their way, onto each other, onto the curtain, onto the audience and generally a grand mayhem occurs where everything is levelled to ruins, with Cait Sith, hopelessly trying to keep his position in the middle, spinning whenever someone passes past him, crying for the demise of Final Fantasy, after which, Squaresoft will greatly consider a comeback and perhaps for once the game will be true to its name and be indeed the Final of its sequel. -- THE END -- Charlie: That's why Street Fighter will never die! There's no 'final' in Street Fighter! Cammy: Damn straight! Kung Lao: And who the heck are you? The saga ended unexpectedly to this point but to put you at ease: Lee Chaolan and Jin Kazama lived happily ever after and are expecting their first born... Details unavailable as of yet. So was Final (I hope) Fantasy such a disaster? Not! It was so nicely received that plans were made to work on an FF6 parody and, be ready to be surprised... they suggested Maxi for Locke! Maxi: Thank you! You love me! You REALLY love me! One thing for sure... Sapfarah disappeared once this set was over. No one knows on the conditions of her disappearance though... -_- As for the rest of our legendary heroes: Wang Jinrey and Heihachi became champion jockeys and made a name in the circles of Chocobo racing. Bryan Fury and Kunimitzu had a sweet little baby and Cait Sith became the godfather. Lee, who impressed everyone with his part as Sephiroth, was offered the part of Billy Lee Black in the Xenogears saga, a part which he welcomed as the chance to prove that he can act both as an evil and as a good character. Due to protests, Square decided to continue with the Final Fantasy line of production but, to avoid similar mortification, it was decided to avoid spiky hared heroes. Therefore, having noticed the impact, they picked Hwoarang as Squall, the lead hero for their next epic, FF8! Siegfried Schtauffen (doesn't it hurt to pronounce that name?) was also selected for the part of Seifer, despite his height and is currently taking foreign language lessons... Vincent was asked to play Laguna Loire in the same game, a decision greatly welcomed. Mileena renewed her contract as Rinoa Heartilly in the same game! Well, Heartilly, Lockheart... I guess she really is the queen of hearts! Bryan Fury made it too to FF8 as Zell Dincht, defeating his rival to the place, Benimaru Nikaido and the tattoos he has on his neck helped a lot (but I thought they should be on the face?). Rumors say however that Bryan won because, although they are both kickboxers, Bryan isn't gay for sure but after protests of gay societies, Bryan had to go under the same regulation, of being Zell only in the European releases. The Japanese versions have Benimaru as Zell Dincht. As a side notice, Nina Williams was promoted as Quistis Trepe! Anna cried her heart out but rumors tell us that she was selected for the part of the evil witch Edea in the Japanese versions and there are rumors circulating about Parasite Eve, where, oddly enough Nina is supposed to play Aya Brea... Sister act, part two? But what of our hero Kazuya? Namco was rather angry for making a fool of himself all through the play and so they 'directed' his death. They also 'directed' Jun's death, because other than say "honey" she doesn't really amount for much... So that left our beloved couple with lots of free time and since Kazuya can afford a good spend, he left, with his pretty wife for a happy summertime in Costa Del Sol... where we now see them, resting under the shadow of the front porch... Jun: Honey... Kaz: Yes? ;) Jun: This letter has just arrived... Kaz: (damn her innocense!) ...and? Jun: It's from Square... They renewed your contract as Cloud Strife for Final Fantasy Tactics and on top of that, people from Capcom saw us and liked us so much they now want us to act in their new coming Breath of Fire 4 Role Playin Game as Ryu and Nina... honey? Honey? Kazuya runs to the sunset, screaming like mad. Jun run after him to ease him but while running, they came into Namco's studios during the filming of the Tekken Tag Tournament and since they already messed things up, they decided to, what the hell, include them too to the project. Of course, all the previous fighters who heard of this wanted to join therefore, everyone returned. Kaz: But somehow... I especially enjoy the Tekken Force mode... Crow guy 1: No wonder, when you are so good at it! Crow guy 2: Like we learned in that play... The Brave don't fear the Grave... Kaz: (looking at the camera): I so love it when he does that! And here ends the story... for now. We must leave this place, so that the shootings for the Tekken Tag Tournament may take place. It's time for Kazuya's sequences and he leaves with his two friends... Oh god... singing... Kaz + Crow guy 1 + Crow guy 2: Rock this waaaaay! Talk this waaaay! Namco Director: Rock this waaaaay! Talk this waaaay! ...as you can see, for the problems of the Tekken Tag Tournament, you now know whom to blame. At this point however... Final (I hope) Fantasy... The End Heihachi: That was wonderful! Jinrey: Brilliant, superb! Heihachi: Well, maybe not as perfect~ Jinrey: Sure was good~ Heihachi: Had its moments... Jinrey: So it wasn't that bad. Heihachi: Not too much~ Jinrey: It was awful! Heihachi: What are you saying, it was horrible, BOOOO, BOOOO! Jinrey: BOOOOOOOO! © Sapfarah (1999)