Chapter 28 - A chapter full of nothing. My dear friends in the audience, this is me, your devoted storyteller, taking the place of the bard to this epic, or otherwise known as the reporter of those times. I know what you're thinking, but aren't you glad I don't have a lute to play the Rufus welcoming ballad as well? Kaz: Would be nice if you did... Ere, I only have my keyboard to offer my humble services to you and so I will inform you that our saga is reaching a crucial point indeed, as you may understand. An eeeeerie shadow spreads all over the world but do our heroes know of it, as they return to where they left Bruce? Bruce in the meanwhile is hopping up and down, waving at them. Mel: Drop dead! Kaz: And what about those black caped men? Red: Glad you asked. Kaz: ...well? Red: I said, glad you asked! Kaz: I know what you just said, so WHAT about them! Cid: Tsk tsk tsk, such tempers! Bruce: Heeeeey! How's my favorite people? Hope you don't mind but while you were gone, I went off to Costa del Sol and courted the babes... CS: I'd like to see him try! Bruce: He', what was that? I came with the best of moods and this is what I get? Pfah. So what about you? Xiaoyu: I stole their materias! ^_^ Bruce: Yo! Steeling ain't good forya! Mel: He's actually giving morality lessons! Xiaoyu: Well I gave them back eventually... Cid: But not before we had to beat the crud outta some Turks and monsters for it! Mel: Not to mention rearranging them because that skinny two sticks had no idea of that! Xiaoyu: Wah! Bruce: Hey, sounds like fun! You know, I even got to meet new people... Like this guy Mukki... says he knows you, boss... Kaz: (embarassed) Mukki? CS: Don't tell me you lost track! Bruce: Yea, from the honey bee Manor in Sector 6? Ey eh boss, you got some bad habits, shame on you! (shaking index playfully) Kaz (heatedly): I don't know anyone Mukki! Mel: Always the same story, they never remember afterwards... Kaz: Warharhfjfsrstddl (incomprehensible sounds) Red: I bet don Corneo didn't pick you, did he? Kaz: NO! What do you think I am? CS: If only I had a foul mouth, I'd let you know! Bruce: Hey, who's Don? Everyone was talking about him over there... Red: (to avoid a fight) We'd better get going people! Kaz: Yea, where for? Vincent: According to the script we're heading for the Golden Saucer, optionally passing by the small house at the end of the continent, which is recommended since he'll give you Aeris's ultimate limit break, besides, you can sleep there for free... Group gapes at Vincent... Vincent: I put the script into order in my free time... Kaz: Vincent... (embraces him) You're a jewel. Vincent: ... (looking thrilled beyond words) Mel: ARGH! Bruce: Oh, man! Cid: Hey, quit the syrrups, willya! Bruce: Yo, that's unfair, I'm the script man! Red: But you don't have a script... Bruce: I told you man a thousand times, the chocobo ate ma' script! Xiaoyu: Yea, right, blame it on the animal! Bruce: Unfair, unfair! (whines) CS: Well why didn't you look for a script instead of going to the beach, smartass? Bruce: Because, FATass, I'm good for the beach and yor good for the script! Red: His language gets worse every time. Mel: Maybe he wanted someone to embrace him for knowing the script? ;) Bruce: Damn right! You never hugged me when I told you the script! Mel: So? I'm not hugging Vincent either! Kazuya nods to Bruce in the manner "See? There's a point". Mel: Besides, you always got me to it! 8( Bruce (leers): You got that right, missy! Xiaoyu: Eurgh! Bruce: You know kiddo, once you try it it's not that bad... Mitsurugi leaps up on his seat and rings the censorship bell like mad... Jun: I Think! We should move on! Cid: Damn straight! Audience applauses yet another hit line... Mel: Arrr, this zombone is getting to my nerves! Vincent's advice is followed and the buggy sets route for the small litehouse (?) at the end of this continent. There they learn that a guy named Dio purchased a Keystone, which unlocks the Temple of the Ancients... Jun: Ancients? I think that is me... Mel: You sure look one... (sarcastically) Kazuya glares at Mileena... Mel: (with her best mastered innocense...) Well, Aeris is an ancient to the best of my knowledge... Hey, isn't she, Red? Red: ... Mel: [beep]er! Cid: If we're already here, we'd better start worrying for Aeris's limits... Vincent: Yes, we must go to and fro with the buggy and back to an old miner's cave... receive some mithril and bring it back here for a trade... Bruce: Yo, not only you tell the script but you talk about ma' buggy! Red: Bruce, it's not just _your_ buggy~ Bruce: Never put my buggy in yer mouth! Cid: Hey! Give the guy a break! Bruce: I'd like to give him a broken jaw (attacks Vincent but before anyone can react, Vincent reverses the attack and throws Bruce flat on the ground...) Everyone: ! Bruce: [beep]! How did you do that! Vincent: I took some self defence classes once upon... CS: I must say, I'm amazed! Xiaoyu: (yawn!) Guys, I'm bored! Mel: Shall I give you a kick? Xiaoyu: Just you try! Mel: Oh yea? Red: Please people! Mel: You just deprived Jun here from usefulness! Kaz: Look who's talking! Mel: What's that supposed to mean? Cid: Damn right! You're only good for your boobs! Mel: ! At least *I* have them! Kaz: About the only thing you have... Mel: (sweetly) oh you noticed? (flutters eyelashes at him) Bruce: Yo! Stop shaking what you've got to everyone! Cid here was right! Yer cheatin' on me! Mel: WHAT!!! (glares at Cid, looking victoriously her way) Cid: (turns on a cigarette) Good thing I smoke or Lee would have taken my place! Mel: And I'd take your throat! Cid: Heck, heck, cough, cough couch!!! (coughs awfully) Red: So, shall we start picking Aeris's limits? Mel: Who cares! She's gonna die anyway! Jun: ! (shocked) Kaz: . . . Mel (innocently): I thought I was supposed to know what's in the script... Red shakes his tail... Vincent: Death is the unescapeable fate of all mortal beings... Xiaoyu stares at Vincent in some kind of disgust... CS: Oh please Vinny, don't be so cruel! Vincent: I'm sorry... It's just... that I... Mel: And there goes Kazuya embracing Vincent, saying "There, there..." Kaz: ...(stopping halfway from going over to Vincent to embrace him and say "There, there..."): Can I have a word with you? Mel (full of hope): Seriously? Kaz: (sighs...) Come outside... Cid: Uh-oh... this doesn't sound good... CS: What are you, a fortune teller? Red: On the contrary, that's a brilliant opportunity to study the script without unnecessary disturbances... Jun: Honey? Kaz: Just a moment. So Cloud and Tifa move to the distance... Mel: Well? Kaz: ... (straining to think) Mel: Let me make it easy to you: Repeat after me, 'Mileena, I always felt that great passion,' no make it 'longing' 'for you...' Kazuya stares at Mileena somewhat annoyed... Mel: Okay, in your own words? Kaz: Will you give me a break? Mel: You mean, you brought me here to give you a break? Kaz: ... Mel: I'm sorry, you don't sound very convincing, you don't even say what you've got to say, you... Kazuya pulls Mileena firmly and kisses her... My dear readers, I don't know what's going on! Meanwhile... Red: Oh-kay. That settles it. We go to the sleepy miner, get our mithril and back again for the limit break. Xiaoyu: Yippieeeee! Any materias? While... Mel: ... Kaz: Now, do I get an hour's break? Mel: ... you know, for another, I'll give you half an hour extra... Kaz: No, one hour is fine, thank you very much! (pretty anxious to leave) Heihachi: You idiot, that's the best deal you can get! Jinrey: She's mine, he has his own, hey, get your hands off! Heihachi: You're kidding me? If he gets her, we both have her! Jinrey: Yea, right! Go for it, boy! (thinks a little...) Hey!!! Heihachi: HAHAHAAAA! Augh! (Jinrey slapped him) WhyyyyyyyyyYOUUUUUUU! The rest of them come out... CS: We, uh, we... we have decided! Vincent: We will take the buggy... Bruce: My buggy! Vincent: And travel via Costa del Sol... Bruce: Where I do the drivin' ! Jun: I hope getting my limit breaks won't delay us too much... Kaz: Hmpf, no, not at all. Yea. Oh! So. Let's get moving. ... Kaz: Shall we? Red: Surely... And the next step is decided. Cid (whispering): Wipe off the damn lipstick... Kaz: Lipst~ (Damn!!) When eventually they take Jun's limits (great gospel by the way) they make it to the Golden Saucer, where Cloud will get his own limit and they will plead Dio to hand them the Keystone... Xiaoyu: And I thought we could have fun? Jun: But of course we will my dear! ^_^ Xiaoyu: Oh goody, goody, goody!! ^_^ (hops about) Cid: Ey, I don't really like amusement parks! Bruce: Yo, I haven't seen all of it last time and I really wanted the speed... Cid: I could spend sometime in the arcades of Wonder Square! Kaz: Maybe the battle arena will be working? Wang + Heihachi: And the CHOCOBO RACES! Vincent: I'll stay in the hotel... somehow it matches my type... CS: Brrr! 8( Red: Vincent... you don't have to be so... gloomy... Cid: What you're saying man? He CAN'T but be gloomy! Besides (oooh - zombie moan) I like gloomy... Vincent: No... don't be doing this to yourself! Jun: Vincent... we like you just the way you are! Vincent: ...Really? Mel: Do I get a word to this? Kaz: Not before the hour passes. Mel: (sigh!) Oh well... if you say so... (dreamy eyed) Kaz: (What have I done to deserve this?) Red: So, split up and meet here in an hour from now. Xiaoyu: Only one hour? Mel: Right. Only? CS: I think I'll go pay a visit to my co-workers... those hopping Chocobos... I missed them. Bruce: I say I'm off. See ya! Well, nothing new happened to this chapter so it might as well have been nonexistent. But our heroes split up, each going to their wish. Since Cloud is the default player however, we'll follow him to the battle arena where he hopes to get the Keystone... Aeris is naturally with him since she wants to learn about the ancients herself. Oh well, here goes a chapter full of nothing. Mel: Sigh... give me more nothing chapters anyday!