There is something very awkward about the first time one makes love. Far too many elbows and knees, an entirely new set of limbs that you have to account for that aren't yours. If you have an experienced partner, someone who lovemaking comes to as easily as breathing, then you have a definite advantage. However, two men, repressed for years and just now falling into bed with one another, were having more problems with the buttons than the actual act.

They were laughing, however, while they fumbled. The taller dark-haired man kissed the slighter, redheaded one's ear and said something while tugging on his vest buttons that made the redheaded one flush pink and laugh a bit more.

Bush considered that a good sign. He hugged the trunk of the tree next to him, and smiled as he lifted the bottle of rum to his lips. "I knew - I knew this was right."

"It'd be more right," Sparrow replied, hugging on the other side of the tree, "if they could get their damned clothes off."

"Ah, but this is the essence of the act." Bush grinned broadly, as he twisted his head around the trunk of the tree. "If it was all smooth for them, it wouldn't mean half as much."

"Suppose so. I just want them t'get to the nekkid... ooh! Ooh! He got the vest open." Sparrow hopped up and down. "Now get to the shirt - that's nice, Norrie. Rub the pretty pale skin...lordy, you naval boys are white all over, aren't you?"

Bush smirked. "Just below the shirt collar... oooh... oooh nice. Nibble right there, James. I am absolutely positive that Andrew will like your mouth all over his throat. Very nicely done, that. And he got more buttons open!"

"Truly a talented man, the Commodore. Hmmm. Nice shoulders the Lieutenant has on him. Very nice."

"I never figured you for fancying gentlemen, Jack. At least not Naval gentlemen."

"I like them all, Lieutenant. Jest sometimes they don't all like me. Ooooh. Norrie's kissing old Firesnap's chest."

"I've always thought James had the best mouth... for kissing... my. All the way down to the breeches. OF course, those laces are murder when you have to take them out. Or get them off someone else."

"You, Johnny-boy?"

"I dabble on both sides of the sheet. I like my women a bit more than I like my gentlemen, so my reputation as a rampant Don Juan is quite safe. Oh, nice form, Andrew. I do like the way he's arching right into James's mouth there. You wouldn't happen to remember the French word for buggery, would you?"

"Dunno... whoop! There go the breeches. Why do y'ask?"

"I think that's what Andrew is muttering. Can't tell from this far away, though. Good thing the servants all cozy in their beds."

"Yeah, for one, they'd probably shoot us out of that tree. Heheheheh. Amateurs. Tryin' to get the breeches off before taking off the shoes 'n stockings. No wonder he fell over."

"Ah, but he fell on the bed... hm. Andrew is a delight naked, isn't he?"

"If he didn't hate me enough t'want to see me dead on sight, I'd call him pretty."

"Men of your ilk shouldn't notice how nice his body is, you know. Aww, that's cute. He's nudging James with his foot to hurry up."

"...That's not nudgin'. That's strokin'. 'N I don't think of m'self as a man here, but a trained sensualist."

"Stroking. With his foot. Andrew has more talents that I would have believed... trained sensualist?"

"More than Norrie would have believed. I do believe th'good Commodore's gaspin'. And pullin' off his own clothes in an awful hurry. He'll rip all those pretty buttons... oh my..."

"..You know, I always knew that James represent a fine body of Naval authority. I didn't know he represented just a fine body as well."

"Must be that uniform. It's so heavy it make shoulders... very... well... defined..."

"Hm. And back, and hips, oooh, look. Bare Commodore hips. Bare Commodore arse."

"FINE Commodore arse."

"Don't even think about it, Sparrow. He's the Navy's."

"...doesn't seem fair, Navy gets all the pretty ones - and the big ones. Very big ones."

"Yes, and since you are not a British citizen, you get neither. Of course, neither do I but that's because I'm immoral."

"S'not fair. All I have is Anamaria, and she bites when y'try to suggest what they're... oooh... rubbing of nice bodies together."

"I like how they fit together. It's so aesthetically pleasing. Dark hair against red hair, dark eyes and green eyes, and the way they struggle against each other... with... friction... hm..."

"What's Firesnap sayin' now? I don't understand that word, there."

"Roughly translated? 'Inside me. I want you inside me.'"

"Ooooo. Yep, more awkward fumblin' there. Now, now, Commodore. Take your time t'find something to slide the way in. Yes. That ointment will do nicely."

"My. Andrew's definitely more flexible than I originally imagined. Look at how far he can part his legs."

"Regular French wanton... are we sure the Navy'll have none of me?"

"Positive - well, James! I didn't even know you knew your mouth could go around Andrew's knob... I really didn't know he could moan like that... I most certainly didn't know your tongue worked that way..."

"English wantons too... jest how positive are ye, Johnny-boy?"

"Jack, you'd have to be bathed in lye to rid yourself of the lice, then bathed in soap and water for the rest, but not before being thoroughly examined by a highly recommended surgeon who said you didn't have all the French diseases and some one hadn't heard of yet."

"...that was damn'd low, Lieutenant..."

"Nooooooot as low as James is going with his mouth."

"Not like you Naval fellows don't have just as many possible diseases. Not t'mention bein' stuffed up the arse with a pole - probably bigg'r that the Commodore's prick now goin' into Red's l’il rosebud there. Gracious, the man can scream."

"I think he's moaning. No. Screaming. But it's good screaming. Oh, that's it. Go, James, go. Yes, that's it. Hit the right spot right there. Oh, Andrew, you are damned sexy with your head thrown back like that. Don't worry about making it pretty, and lovely, James. You don't have the skill yet."

"Aye... jest go with the momentum... in and out... harder there... that's nice... what's Firesnap sayin' now? 'Insert French Here?'"

"'Bugger me plus dur. Je vous aime. S'il vous plaît. Plus dur'. And I will have to agree with that statement. Harder. Come on, James, your iron control is only so good."

"Firesnap is so BENDY! How does he get his hips to roll UP like that?"

"We spend a lot of time in the rigging. Oh, god, James PLEASE fuck him harder."

"Lookin' a little frustrated there, Johnny-boy."

"Well, look at them. I mean, if I were in there... which I'm not..."

"But you want t'be."

"...Maybe."

"I take this opportunity to rub it in from earlier about me not bein' decent enough? Hah hah."

"Jack? Shut up or I won't bathe you later and scupper your own brains out."

"...yessirlieutenantsirdolikeitwhenfrustrationworksm'way... should we cheer 'em on?"

"And have James shoot us out of the tree? Oh - finally - Yes, push him against the headboard, James. "

"Red is so, so... bendy... and pretty, ooooh, I like it when he begs in French. Eyes shut, beggin' for it, all wrapped around Norrie like a beautiful... man wrapped around another one... m'not really thinking straight here."

"Nor am I. Especially when James has got Andrew exactly where he wants him and Andrew is... coming... apart... all over James... right, we need to go now."

"Hmm. Norrie's so beautiful when he arches like that. That's right, darlin', give what's for and meet the l'il petit mort head on... what? Why?"

"Because if we're going to get you through that bath, we need to start right now."

There was a crackle of the tree branches, as two male bodies tumbled down, half drunk and more than a little aroused. The Lieutenant in the blue coat dragged off the pirate, firmly, towards the nearest bathhouse he could find.

While upstairs, Norrington pressed his head down on Gillette's shoulder and murmured softly, "Think we gave them enough of a show?"

Gillette purred beneath him. "Oh, I think we frustrated Jonathan to no end. I win in the one-upmanship for years to come after this."

Norrington laughed, pressing his mouth against Gillette's firmly and a little wildly, before he murmured, "But now, you see, I want my own private show."

Gillette's dark eyes flashed promise, before he pulled the other man down upon him..

Through the rest of night, to the silent and empty tree, Andrew Gillette ranted - deeply, religiously, profusely, and mostly in French.

This time, however, James Norrington didn't try to stop him at all.

Return to Archive | previous