Pairing: Jack/James, Scarf/Wig
Warnings: No wigs were harmed in the making of this fic.
Rating: PG-13 for suggestive *waggles*
Dedicated To: Theban Band. Have we mentioned how amazing you are today? 'Cuz, you are.

There were times when the Pirate Captain and the Naval Commodore got on each other's nerves. Battles, skirmishes, and encounters galore proved they could irritate each other to the point of grinding teeth. The Commodore would throw the Captain in the brig. The Captain would tie the Commodore to the mainmast of his ship. They captured each other as many times as they were themselves captured.

There were other times when they got under each other's clothes. Literally speaking. These were hot, heated moments that burned them through, got them past long and lonely nights when the other was at sea. Made Jack come swaying back into Port Royal despite the variety of his love life abroad. Nothing compared to a fresh and waiting Commodore between the sheets, those long lovely fingers doing all sorts of long and lovely things.

But between those, were the moments like this. A private little inn on the Port of Nassau. Norrington had come straight from a formal engagement at the Governor's house there. Jack had come straight from a similar engagement out of a Spanish prison. They met in the little room looking out to the sea, for neither one of them could drag themselves that far from their most darling of first loves, the ocean, for long. First came the longing kisses, and then rum, a few more kisses, and a great deal more rum.

As always Jack began asking what James had been up to, something that puzzled James to no end. After all, it wasn't like James's life was half as interesting as Jack's could and had gotten in the past. He waved his hand, throwing out vague details that didn't satisfy Jack, for the pirate's eyes narrowed a bit more with each meaningless remark. James trailed off after awhile, blinking at Jack's intense gaze.

Which was the point where Jack leaned over and snagged James's white and perfect wig right from his head, sending his dark hair tumbling.

"Give me back my wig!" James slurred, straightening as Jack danced away from him, or rather, drunkenly swaggered backwards, a cheerful leer skirting the golden-brown face that swirled before James's green eyes.

"Nope. Not gonna." Jack sang, flopping the wig atop his scarf-topped head. "Lookit meeeeee. I'm the Commodore. Doot, doot doot. Aren't I fancy? Don't I look a delic-ious lookin' creame puff?"

"Hmmm...that's flagitious abuse of a Naval Officer's effects, sirrah." James stumbled to his feet, and after the slippery pirate.

"The things you say, James Norrington. Quite the pervert, aren't you, usin' such words on a pirate." Jack purred, sniggering as he kept just out of James's reach. "Now tell me what y'did, and leave nothin' out."

"I can come up with a few more, at that." James muttered, following Jack around in the circuit, still trying to get to his wig, as Jack grabbed up the last bottle of rum. James forced his mind to work in a coherant pattern. "Well, I entered the Governor's house and introduced myself to his over-sized self, his gargantuan wife, and their strangely thin daughter. Then I was introduced around to the other ... appropriate sort of people."

"Sounds like a truly lovely entourage. Many pretty young lasses casting their eyes on your frosty white locks?" Jack queried, leering as he twirled one white curl around his sea-worn finger.

"Yes, as a matter of fact. I'll have you know I'm *quite* the catch, Jack Sparrow." James made another lurch towards him, but Jack spun out of the way lightly, like one of the Opera dancers.

"And did you flirt with the pretty lasses, Commodore?" Jack smirked, but there was something through the drunken gleam of that smirk, that James could only see for he was so close.

It made the Commodore wonder, and want to prod where most wouldn't dare. Prodding Jack Sparrow never seemed to end up well for those who attempted it. James wasn't one, however, to back off in fear. He arched an eyebrow, "It is unseemly for an officer to flirt with a young lady. However, they made quite free to flirt with me to their girlish delight."

"Do they now." Jack's eyes narrowed again, and even in his drunken stupor James understood.

Had he been sober, he would have mocked. Had they been in bed, he would have teased. But he was drunk, and feeling mellow, and he wanted nothing more than to have his pirate and his wig too. So he smiled, and bowed decorously, "And then, we danced."

He held out one hand to the pirate as he rose, as Jack stared at him for a moment, before bursting out into a hearty laugh. Then Jack dipped his head, sending the wig slightly over his eyes as he ambled into James's arms, and they began to spin about the room, entwined in each other's arms as they danced. Jack hummed as he always hummed, low and sweet, a little off-key. There was no other music, James thought, that he would rather fall asleep to.

Sooner rather than later, the rum caught up with their feet, and they found themselves spinning out of control and hitting the wall with their backs. Dazed, they both looked at one another, before bursting into sniggers. James wrapped his arm around Jack's shoulders, gripping the rum bottle in his free hand, as Jack curled around his Commodore's body, howling out his laughter.

They slid down to the ground, still laughing, even as Jack wiggled his way into his familiar place on James's lap. Arms wrapped lazily around each other, as James parted Jack's rough, bearded lips with his own, and a daring attack inward. Bristles rubbed against his bare skin, making him quiver, as he pressed into his kiss. Their tongues danced more ably and more familiarly than they did, as James tasted the rum and salt to Jack's mouth, and Jack tasted the lemons, tea and rum to James's.

They broke off as gently as they had begun, smiling at each other. James lifted one finger to trace the brown cheekbone, murmuring softly, "I won't have any of them, you know. There's no call for jealousy over such trifling females."

"Hmmmph, but look at what they offer you, Jamie. Security, wealth, position. What do I offer you but a lonely bed most nights and mayhaps a noose in your future? M'not faithful - y'know that, I'm certainly not of the female persuasion." Jack looked serious, as serious as Jack ever looked. "Not worthy of such fine devotion from such a fine gentleman."

"Ah, but you are loyal in the one way it counts." James murmured, stealing a kiss as deftly as if he were a pirate himself. "You come back. Always, always come back for me, so I shall ask for nothing less. Besides..." He reached up, and tugged one white curl, smiling slowly. "Not one of them has stolen my ... wig, like you have. Not one of them has bothered."

Jack's smile returned at this little jest on jibe that covered the words neither one of them would say, batting his eyelashes once. "Does this make us formally engaged then, Jamie? As I am the only owner of yer ... wig?"

"Well, I suppose we must be. I'm no harlot, to give my wig to all the pirates who wander about. However, if we are to be engaged properly, and I am to become ...Mrs Commodore Captain Norrington Sparrow ... I require an engagement symbol in kind." James said with all seriousness.

Jack lolled his head back for a moment, before tapping the side of his nose wisely. He put down the bottle of rum which magically returned to his grip, and took of the wig, putting it neatly on one knee, before lifting up his hands to untie his bandanna. With a neat little loop, he swung the stretch of red cloth over James's head, and tied it in place. "Commodore James Norrington, would y'do me the honour of b'comin' the distreputable Mrs. Commodore Captain Norrington Sparrow, Sirrah?"

James blew at the long strip of red cloth hanging determinedly over one shoulder, and smirked a little, before he flipped up the wig and put it atop Jack's head. "Only if you will do me the honour of becoming Mrs Captain Commodore Sparrow Norrington, Captain Sparrow."

Jack adjusted the wig atop his head, and held out his hand. "Agreed. Do we have an accord?"

"Accord." James said formally, before claiming his fiance's lips for a long kiss. "...but I expect you to keep me in fine Naval ships after we're wed."

"Only if you agree to live on the Pearl." Jack stated firmly, before claiming his kiss in return, snuggling deeper into James's arms.

"Hmmm...accord. Do you think we'll remember any of this tomorrow, Jack?" James asked with a content and sleepy smile, as he curled his arms tighter around Jack's waist.

"Hope so. It'll be a bitch t'write out all them weddin' invitations and not remember why we did, love." Jack murmured.

"True enough, true enough. You're the first one to say yes to me, Jack." James looked down at him solemnly. "To a trully formal engagement, anyways."

Jack traced the fine curve of James's stiff upper lip, and smirked. "Plan on bein' the last, love. I plan on bein' the last."

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