Only Time: The Sacred Power
By J. Marie
Warning!!! This is a lemon yaoi fanfiction starring Nakago and Tasuki from Fushigi Yugi. It is rated NC-17. Ever onward and forwards...
Seiryu crumpled in mid-air, ruining the circle that the Four Beast Gods stood in.
Tasuki lay dead in Nakago's arms below, but not even the loss of his favored seishi could deter Suzaku from breaking away from his position to cradle his lover in his a rms. The Dragon looked weak, and his breath was shallow. He looked as though he was fading.
It didn't take Suzaku long to realize Seiryu was dying.
"Taiitsukun!! How can he be dying?? How can a god die?" Suzaku cried, his red eyes filling with tears. Seiryu was part of him, the yin to his yang, the other half of his existence. Love or hate, it made no difference. Suzaku and Seiryu would always be two halves of the same whole.
Taiitsukun closed her eyes, a dull glow encasing her body, and she suddenly appeared as an androgynous being, as the creature "she" truly was. "She" said nothing, and only silent tears answered Suzaku's question. Seiryu faded more, his eyes closed, his energy drained. He said nothing, for he did not even had the will to do so.
"Taiitsukun!! Please!! Tell me! How can Seiryu be dying? And even if one of us must die, why is it not me? Tasuki is dead!" Suzaku sobbed, cradling the body of his lover in an eerily similar position to that of Nakago below.
"Nakago never found the Sacred Power. The life or death of a seishi matters not. Only the Sacred Power. Not even a god can live without it," Taiitsukun said gently.
"But what is it? What is the Sacred Power?" Suzaku cried desperately.
Taiitsukun smiled sadly, "her" androgynous face radiating a beauty that none could parallel. "The Sacred Power is the Mysterious Play. Can you not guess what it is, Suzaku? Surely, you of all the Gods could grasp the concept..."
Nakago rubbed his cheek against Tasuki's cooling cheek. Unbidden tears fell freely from his eyes, but he didn't care. He'd never felt so empty in his life. He wanted to die. He wanted to die and join Tasuki.
The dojo atop Mt. Taikyoku began to crack and crumble, shaking beneath the seishi's feet. Cries of worry and concern resounded as the Celestial Warriors tried to find a way out. It was all in vain, for the doorways they had entered were no longer there. They were trapped within, all doomed to die.
Nakago didn't care.
Suddenly, bright light burst from the yawning void beneath their ledges causing the whole dojo to disappear in a brilliant burst of light. The Celestial Warriors of the Four Gods now stood assembled on a grassy field underneath a bright white sky. Far above them hovered the Four Gods, their circle broken, as Suzaku cradled the dying Seiryu.
Nakago didn't care.
The four priestesses appeared in their midst. The Celestial Circle was broken. Even the Celestial Realms were now fading away, like a book being set in the rain, for the ink to pour off. All around them grew brighter.
Nakago didn't care.
Junko began to fall, sobbing horribly over the death of her son. It was Hikitsu and Tomite who held her up, staring over at Nakago and Tasuki with twin expressions of grief. Miaka sobbed in Tamahome's shoulder as Chichiri wept upon the ground. Every single seishi was devastated. They had lost one of their own.
Nakago didn't care.
Nakago didn't care about anything anymore. He didn't care if the world was ending. He didn't care if everyone was going to die. He didn't care if his God was dying. He just didn't care. And he didn't care because Tasuki was dead.
And all else in his life paled before that cold, hard fact. Tasuki was everything to him. Tasuki was his reason for being. He needed Tasuki like he needed air, more even. Nakago nuzzled Tasuki's cheek again, ignoring the drying blood on his hands. The gaping hole in Tasuki's back meant nothing to him, other than it was why Tasuki wasn't there anymore.
"Wake up, Tasuki," Nakago said softly. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe this was all a bad dream, and he'd wake to find Tasuki curled up beside him in bed.
"Nakago..." Soi whispered, approaching him quietly, her eyes filled with unshed tears. Nakago ignored her.
"Please, Tasuki, wake up. For me," Nakago said, brushing strands of wild red hair from Tasuki's doll-like face. Tasuki would wake up if he asked nicely. He had to.
Soi turned her face, covering her mouth. The fact that Nakago was trying to deny Tasuki's death was even more horrible then the death itself.
"Tasuki, I need you to wake up. Please wake up. I'd be lost without you. I don't know how I lived without you before. I don't think I really did. Please. I need you..." Nakago whispered, his voice choking and he pressed his face into Tasuki's hair, his tears soaking the strands.
Nothing else mattered anymore to him.
A flash of blinding light dazzled the seishi, and the priestesses, and they all rose into the air, rejoining the Celestial Circle. They were in the sky, surrounded by light. Each seishi had a place in the Circle. All the male seishi stood in the outmost circle, while the female seishi were one ring inside. The circle inside of theirs bore the four Favored seishi. Only Nakago had not taken his place, for Tasuki's spirit form stood in his spot, his wraith-like face blank. He was deaf to the pleas of his lover beneath him, for his ghost was set to complete the Circle.
Within the circle of the Favored was where the four Priestesses hovered, and within their circle were the Four Gods. And in the center of it all was Taiitsukun, looking down sadly at both Suzaku and Nakago. All were in place within the Celestial Circle but Nakago. He alone broke the Circle, for he had not used the Sacred Power.
Suzaku brushed the falling strands of blue hair out of Seiryu's face and he looked up to implore Taiitsukun once again. "The Balance is broken, Taiitsukun. All fades away. Your Mysterious Play matters not. Your Sacred Power failed. Secrets are useless. Tell me. Tell me what the Sacred Power is," he said dully, for defeat was upon them all.
Taiitsukun shook "her" head, looking down at Nakago, who held Tasuki's body to him. "Is it not obvious? The Sacred Power is..."
Nakago choked back his sobs. Emotions he had suffocated before, emotions he had denied burst forth from his grieving heart. He clutched Tasuki to him, holding the body as one would a child. He pressed his tear-streaked face to Tasuki's cold one, trying to draw comfort from nothing.
"Tasuki...come back...please...you can't leave me. I'll do anything. Please, please come back to me," he sobbed, rocking the body back and forth.
Tasuki remained stiff and cold.
Nakago raised his head to the skies, seeing Tasuki's soul far above him. Fresh tears poured down his face.
"Please, Tasuki, come back. I never got to tell you something when you were alive. And I want to tell you now. I need to tell you now. I was so scared of it, so scared of it that I fought it f or so long, and tried to deny it was even there. But it was there, Tasuki. I can't deny, and I don't want to anymore. I just want you back.
"I love you, Tasuki."
Taiitsukun smiled at Suzaku, even as the fading Dragon God took a deep breath, life returning to him. Seiryu opened his eyes in surprise, smiling up at Suzaku with great love.
"The Sacred Power is love. Love that goes beyond body, beyond gender, beyond sin. Love that is and always will be. Love that creates and destroys you. Love that changes you, and cleanses you. Love in its purest, rawest form," Taiitsukun said gently.
Another wave of light burst forth and thought escaped them all, even the Four Gods. Nakago's spirit, for his body was unwilling to part from Tasuki's, passed into the Celestial Circle, completing that which was broken. Suzaku and Seiryu once again took their positions in the heavens. And they all began to spin around the heavens, or perhaps the heavens began to spin around them. Light pulsated wildly about them.
Colored light burst forth from the outer male seishi, flowing into the females of their group in the next inner ring. Colored light burst forth from the Four Beast Gods into their priestesses. And at the same time, both female seishi and Priestess shot forth their light into the four Favored.
Each Favored seishi leaned back, and from his very being radiated the power of both mortality and divinity. For each was a little of both. The Sacred Power of love existed in many forms.
And the colored light turned white and burst forth into the Celestial Realm, showering the heavens themselves with the Sacred Power.
And the world was once again made whole.
When they awoke, the seishi stood on the grassy field of before, only Taiitsukun and Four Gods stood before them hovering several feet off the ground. The nyan-nyans stood on the ground before them, smiling happily. Taiitsukun was once again an old haggard woman and she beamed at them all.
But Tasuki still lay dead in Nakago's arms. Junko kneeled on the ground behind him, sobbing quietly. Tasuki's death had saved them all, for the shock of it had released Nakago's love. Too late to share with Tasuki, but just in time to save the Universe of the Four Gods. Which was of little consolation to those who knew Tasuki.
"His death was not in vain," Taiitsukun said quietly.
Nakago didn't answer, and merely cradled Tasuki's body to him. His eyes were sore and red from crying. His grief had now gone beyond tears.
"All has returned as it was in the Universe of the Four Gods. As in the beginning, this is a time of Interregnum, a time outside the cycle, but now a time of peace and love. All Four Gods will love each other, and all kingdoms will be at peace. But after a hundred years, the cycle must once again turn, and war and hate will return to the Universe. The Kingdoms are once again are set right. Little memory of the disappearances remain in their mortal minds. But many good things have come of this. Princess Liangnai and Prince Langrui will have a long, happy marriage that is prosperous to both kingdoms during the time of peace. Many children will be born to them, and love shall abide in their house for many generations. Kutou and Konan blood has mingled and that will never be forgotten. You have restored the Balance, Celestial Warriors of the Four Gods," Taiitsukun said.
Miaka stepped forth, her eyes red from crying. "Taiitsukun...please. Bring Tasuki back, like you did me and Taka. Bring him back!" she cried, for those that grieved the most could not speak.
Taiitsukun shook her head. "He shall return again, Miaka. His soul is eternal and shall be reincarnated. Let him rest. He earned it," she said softly.
Miaka bowed her head and wept, as Tamahome drew her against him, crying as well. There was no joy of victory, no happiness. Tasuki's loss made their success almost meaningless.
Taiitsukun pointed and a glowing doorway appeared behind them. "Return to the realm whence you came. When each of you die, I shall reclaim your soul for the Universe of the Four Gods. Until then, you may live as you please during the Interregnum. Little of this shall remain in your mind, but the changes wrought upon your soul shall forever remain. Your past life's memories shall fade and you shall live as normal people for this lifetime. I thank you for your assistance. Now go," she intoned.
"That's it??" Tokaki demanded. "All that we've done, all that has been lost, and you just send us off?? You ugly, horrible, cruel, selfish little-"
Hikitsu clapped a hand over Tokaki's mouth, and silenced him with a look. Tokaki turned away from Taiitsukun and looked over at Nakago who still cradled Tasuki's body to him. A look of sadness passed across his face.
"I hope you're happy with yourself, Taiitsukun," was all Tokaki said before storming through the glowing doorway. Hikitsu followed him after giving Taiitsukun a look that spoke of reproach greater than even Tokaki's. The Genbu and Byakko Seven followed, all equally unhappy.
"As soon as you step through the doorway, Tamahome, your soul shall return to Taka and your son's soul shall return the body you now possess. Nuriko, now that you are a woman, all those now in the real world will think you were always as such. All will be as it should be," she said.
"But Tasuki will still be dead," Junko said dully.
"Your lover awaits you Junko. You will not be comfortless," Taiitsukun said blithely.
"A lover can never replace a son," Junko spat out hatefully. "I know you can bring him back."
"I will not. You must leave him here, so that I may reincarnate his soul."
Junko's face just crumpled and she walked through the doorway with tears streaming down her face. Tamahome guided Miaka through the doorway as well, both silent in grief. Yuiren followed her parents, sadly glancing back at Nakago and Tasuki.
Chichiri stood behind Nakago, staring down at the cold, empty shell that was once his best friend. His tears were gone, for he had none left to give. He had lost a best friend in every life, and this one was to be no different. He left in sorrow, with the rest of the Suzaku Seven.
Only the Seiryu Seven remained, staring at their leader sadly. But Nakago did not respond to them, nor to anyone else. He was lost in grief so deep, that it was obvious he would not allow himself to live much longer.
Soi stooped down beside Nakago, placing her hand on his head. "I loved you so much I would die for you at one time. But life has gone on, and we are no longer bound by our past life's fate. My love for you has faded. But something within me has grown for Tamahome, Taka's son. Something I thought I would never feel for anyone other than you, Nakago. Life does go on without love. You could find someone else..." she said softly.
"There is no one else, not for him," Yui said softly, drawing Soi's hand away from Nakago. "Let him grieve. He'll be all right. He's made of sterner stuff than that."
And silently, sadly, the Seiryu Seven departed as well.
And Nakago remained behind, cradling the dead body of the only person he would ever love. He said nothing, for no words could express his sorrow. He cried no more, for his grief went beyond tears. He was empty.
Genbu walked past Nakago with a look of sympathy. He smiled fondly at Byakko and faded off to the north. Byakko smiled back, but then his smile faltered at the sight of Nakago and Tasuki. He shook his head and faded towards the east.
Suzaku approached Nakago and placed a gentle kiss on his head, and with a final loving glance at Seiryu, faded to the South. And then Seiryu stood before Nakago, and rested his hand on his Favored's golden head.
"Give meaning to the life he gave you. Honor him by living without him. Make his sacrifice not be in vain. Love him in death, as you did in life. And if you remember any cliche I give you, remember that life does go on, Nakago, and love is eternal," Seiryu said softly, and then faded towards the West.
It was a long time before Nakago laid Tasuki's corpse down and stood up. Taiitsukun patiently waited, surrounded by her nyan-nyans, who approached Tasuki's body.
"Well?" Taiitsukun asked.
Nakago turned away from her, and headed towards the glowing doorway back home.
"Are you not going to beg me to bring him back?" Taiitsukun called after him.
Nakago paused, only partially turning his face back towards the haggard old goddess. "Why? It won't convince you to do so. You will do what you will do. But though I would give my life in exchange for his, I will not dishonor him in such a way. I will honor his love every day, but I will live. And I will live every day with thoughts of him, but I will live. If my life meant that much to him, than I shall preserve it. And I will not dishonor Tasuki and debase his act by begging a selfish old bitch like you for his life," he said coldly.
The nyan-nyans started fussing over Tasuki's body as Taiitsukun began to laugh. To Nakago it sounded cruel. They had saved her world, and done all they could to restore the balance. And she repaid them with cruelty and empty words. Nakago turned back to the doorway wondering how he would be able to live without his redheaded lover.
"Healing! Healing! Fixing! Fixing!"
Nakago's eyes widened, but he dared not turn around. Could it be?
"You forgot something, Nakago," Taiitsukun's voice cackled. "Consider it a going-away present."
Nakago spun around, and his whole world lit up.
For Tasuki was standing up, surrounded by nyan-nyans. "Geroff me, ya pint-sized pains-in-the-ass!!" he screamed, shoving the little green-haired girls off of him.
"TASUKI!!" Nakago cried, rushing towards the redhead.
And when Tasuki smiled at him and rushed into his arms, Nakago knew everything would work out just fine. Because he had everything that could ever matter to him.
Because Nakago had found the Sacred Power, and his Sacred Power was Tasuki.
To be continued...
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