Only Time: Deja Vu
By J. Marie
Warning!! This is a lemon yaoi fanfiction starring Nakago and Tasuki from Fushigi Yugi. It is rated NC-17. Erm... Out of things to say at the moment. Well... there is another lemon scene in this chapter. If you don't like lemon, then skim over the part. Sorry, but this *is* rated NC-17 for a reason! ^_^;; It’s not cheesy, though. I promise.
Who can say
where the road goes
where the day flows
- only time
And who can say
If your love grows
as your heart chose
- only time
Who can say
why your heart sighs
as your love flies
- only time
And who can say
why your heart cries
when your love lies
- only time
Who can say
when the roads meet
that love might be
in your heart
And who can say
when the day sleeps
If the night keeps
all your heart
Night keeps all your heart
And who can say
If your love grows
as your heart chose
- only time
Who can say
where the road goes
where the day flows
- only time
Who knows - only time
Who knows - only time
-- "Only Time" by Enya
One month later.
"And that concludes the story of the General and the Bandit," Nakago said a little melodramatically, while Tasuki stood beside him, picking his teeth with his pen. Nakago covered his apprehension at his short and rather romantic report with a frosty expression. He knew it wasn’t up to standards, but hoped it was passable. As for the subtle undertones of homosexuality, he could care less what his classmates thought of that.
Hanako-sensei sat quietly before the blonde and the redhead, her expression unreadable. Tasuki and Nakago were the final presenters of their project. Tasuki had given a wild account of his bandit character, filled with bragging and unbelievable tales. Nakago had given a rather cut and dry documentary-type report on his general character. The interaction between their characters seemed to have far less to do with any real interaction between a general and a bandit, and far more to do with two young men who wanted nothing better than to fuck each other's brains out.
Nakago hardened his expression, watching the unreadable expression of his teacher change into a rather readable expression of disdain. Tasuki seemed completely unconcerned, apparently not picking up on the fact that their project reading had only taken twenty minutes, versus the full hour the other's had taken, or the fact that their report was half the size of everyone else's, due mostly to the large print Nakago had used. And while Nakago felt his impending failure rather keenly, Tasuki picked lint off his shirt, and examined it with interest.
"That was the biggest piece of crap I've ever heard in my entire ten years of teaching. It reads more like a subtle shounen-ai tale then a school report. To be honest, it has the flavor of another writer all together, and not by either of your hands. You're missing half the requirements I listed on the syllabus, and it's almost completely unrealistic. I allowed occult personas with the provision that everything else be realistic, because occult was a rather integrated part of ancient China. But fans that shoot fire? Fights with demons? And that was a rather liberal application of psionics on the part of the General. To be honest, it sounds like something one of those yaoi doujinshi writers would write, if they cut out all the sex scenes, and added more battle scenes," the teacher said with a sour face.
Hanako favored Nakago as her pet, and for the past couple months, the boy had all but ignored her. While she had considered finding a way to seduce the beautiful Nakago, and the boy had seemed previously willing, he suddenly forgot all about her in favor of his new partner, who was by far her least-liked student. Tasuki was loud, belligerent, and as far as she knew, as dumb as a rock. And this rather disappointing report was all she needed to make both their lives difficult in retribution.
"Well, that's because my sister wrote the report, and she is a yaoi doujinshi writer," Tasuki said cheerfully, before Nakago elbowed him so hard his breathing was impaired.
Hanako's eyes narrowed dangerously and she favored the teenagers with a rather vicious smile. The pair looked properly chagrined. The rest of the class was giggling quietly.
"Oh, really? Well, tell your sister, Tasuki, that she might want to rewrite the next project according to my specifications if you wish to graduate," Hanako said in a poison sweet voice.
"I thought this was the final project for the year... I mean, the last day of class is next week, right?" Tasuki asked in all innocence as Nakago clapped a hand to his forehead.
Hanako's vicious smile never wavered. "It is indeed, Tasuki. But a week after that begins the two month summer program, that you and Nakago will be taking in order to graduate, because I'm failing both of you," she said with relish.
"But why?" Tasuki asked.
"Didn't you listen to a word she said??" Nakago asked angrily, smacking Tasuki on the back of the head.
"Of course not! Why the hell would I want to listen to some woman talking? And don't hit me!" Tasuki cried back, smacking Nakago back.
The class winced just as the fight started.
Nakago grimly held the ice pack to his forehead as Tasuki touched his fat lip gingerly.
"And now we're suspended. On top of being failed and forced to go through the humiliation of summer school," Nakago said bitterly.
"I really don't see what you're problem is, Nakago. We'll still graduate. Summer school is easy. I've been there lots of times!" Tasuki said cheerfully as he gave up on the lip, and put the ice pack back on his cheek.
"That's not the point!" Nakago growled. "If it hadn't been for you, I wouldn't have failed!"
"And eighty percent of the time, you're the one who started it! What does it matter if you fail anyways??" Tasuki cried in exasperation.
"I'm not a failure, that's what matters. I'm the best. I have to be," Nakago hissed, his blue eyes narrowed coldly.
Junko walked into the kitchen where the boys sat, and made them both sit still while she bandaged them up. "I can't believe you two got into a fight right in front of the teacher. And to be honest, Nakago, it sounds like you have a serious alpha male complex," Junko said calmly, shaking her head.
"And he has a serious comprehension complex," Nakago snarled, glaring at Tasuki with venom. Tasuki ignored the glare and studied his sister.
Junko had been having her good days and her bad days. Today was a good day, luckily, a day where she acted mostly like herself. A clove cigarette hung from her lips, and her sarcasm was in top form. Other days she cried a lot, and refused to leave her bed. Between taking care of Junko for the past month, and Tasuki and Nakago's increasingly more absorbing relationship, Tasuki and Nakago had gotten little work done on their project. Junko had offered to write it for them, but she had paid no attention to their guidelines at all.
"You really should be mad at me, not him, Nakago. It's really my fault...." Junko shrugged, getting up. She knew that her nervous breakdown was the cause of their failure, at least on her good days. But even on her good days, Junko never smiled any more.
Nakago fell silent. He sighed to himself. His anger and frustration was misplaced. He wanted to be angry with Junko, but couldn't be. He didn't want to be angry with Tasuki, but could be. Nakago hated failure above all else. Yet, if he had spent less time fooling around with Tasuki, he could have passed. But at the same time, Nakago had enjoyed every second of it.
Junko left the room, heading back to her bedroom, still not dressed, wearing only an old bathrobe over her pajamas. The house was a mess, and more often that not, Tasuki ate toast, one of the few things he could cook and not ruin. Tasuki refused to clean up after himself, which Nakago found odd, as the boy started picking up after his sister with vigor. Only Junko's room was clean, her laundry done, and though Tasuki couldn't cook, he often went out and brought Junko food, trying to entice her to be cheerful with her favorite foods.
Tasuki stared at the table, his mouth set in a line. Junko's behavior was taking a huge toll on him as well. It ate at him to see his sister act like this, and he felt like it was his fault. Tasuki had a tendency to think everything was his fault, but he never admitted it. He was probably already at this moment blaming himself for their project failing, on top of his sister's breakdown.
"Stop it," Nakago commanded.
"Stop what?" Tasuki asked, not bothering to look up from the table.
"Stop blaming yourself. We all share the blame. You're a convenient scapegoat, but I was just as eager as you to forget school and focus on fun, or taking care of Junko on her bad days. I'm sorry I got upset earlier, and that I hit you. I didn't mean to become violent," Nakago said quietly.
Tasuki looked up at the blonde, his expression serious. Chichiri's warning, and questions of Nakago abusing him passed through his mind, but he pushed it aside. He and Nakago had not fought since the day in the boy's locker room nearly two months ago. They rarely argued, but when they did, it was usually loud and passionate, and over petty things. But it always ended quickly, and forgotten easily.
"It's alright. I'm not upset with you... I just...." Tasuki sighed and trailed off, staring after his sister.
"I know. It's not Junko's fault either. I'm not angry anymore. I got most of that out when we started brawling in the middle of the classroom," Nakago grinned almost sheepishly.
"I'll hand it to you, though. Seeing Hanako-sensei hide under her desk when the chair flew in her direction was priceless," Tasuki grinned.
"She's such a cloying bitch, to be honest. Our report wasn't all that bad... She's just pissed because I never took her up on her offer," Nakago shrugged.
"Offer?" Tasuki asked with an arched red eyebrow.
"She wanted to fuck my brains out," Nakago grinned.
"I see. It's all coming together now..." Tasuki grinned.
"Doesn't it, though?"
"I gotta hand it to you. You're actually pretty understanding when you're being reasonable. Which I've found out, despite your frostiness, is actually less often than even me," Tasuki grinned.
"And everyone thinks we have nothing in common," Nakago smirked.
"Of course we do. We're both stubborn, pig-headed, unreasonable teenage boys."
"That sounds like Junko talking."
"S'what she told me when you first started coming over," Tasuki shrugged.
"Ah. During my pretense of study, with intentions of sex," Nakago smirked.
Tasuki shook his head, and winced, and held the ice pack back on his cheek. "I'll admit I like having sex much better than fighting with you. You fight dirty," Tasuki complained.
Nakago chuckled. "Of course I do. And so do you. Don't try to deny it."
"I'm not..." Tasuki said, trailing off as the music suddenly went very loud from his sister's room, blasting some of Junko‘s old American hardcore rock CDs.
Both boys were silent for a moment. "I think she wants to be alone... Would you like to spend the night at my house?" Nakago asked gently.
Tasuki looked at him, and chewed his bottom lip, a habit Nakago had come to find endearing. "I... I'd like to, but I don't want to leave her alone..." he said.
"She'll be fine, Tasuki. Give her some time alone. It's not like she's tried to kill herself or anything. She's just depressed. It'll pass," Nakago said with more confidence than he felt. He wanted to leave Tasuki's now stifling house, and get away from Junko and her mysterious problems.
And apparently so did Tasuki. "Alright... I'll leave a note," he said after a few minutes.
In reality, they wanted to be alone together, as much as Junko wanted to alone apart.
Hotohori frowned deeply as he watched Nuriko, dressed as boy, flounce off at Tomo's bus stop, with the tall, handsome youth. Nuriko and Tomo seemed to get along rather well, their conversation animated and full of laughter.
Hotohori gritted his teeth, so irritated by the sudden abandonment of his best friend and confidant, that he missed the smug look on Nuriko's face when he walked by him to get off the bus. He drummed his fingers on his knee, convincing himself rather adeptly that he wasn't jealous, and didn't care what Nuriko did.
Nuriko had found a new lover, now that he understood that Hotohori didn't love him. Good. Hotohori had a very clear-cut ideal of the woman he desired. She would have grace and poise, and beauty to nearly match his own, but not surpass it. She would be strong, in both body and spirit, and prepared to take on anything. She would have a sense of humor, and a great deal of compassion.
Hotohori hadn't found this ideal woman yet, but he had confidence he would meet her some day.
And on that day, maybe he could force his irritation with Nuriko to completely disappear.
Miboshi kept a polite distance from Chiriko and Keisuke.
Granted, it was more from the fact that he found homosexuality horrifying than out of any real courtesy. Why he had agreed to come along with them for a walk was beyond him. Strange, the things you'll do to avoid loneliness.
Keisuke and Chiriko weren't lovey-dovey, by any means, and they weren't a brazen pair of gay exhibitionists. They kept their new-found sex-life private. To someone who didn't know better, the couple seemed more like a pair of close friends than lovers. Chiriko and Keisuke didn't hold hands, or gaze longingly into each other's eyes at all. Instead, they had intelligent conversations, and if they stood a little too close, well, that was excusable.
But yet, their conversations almost begged for privacy. They enjoyed their private conversations, the mingling of their intellects. It left no room for anyone else, and Miboshi felt that keenly. In a way, he found himself jealous of their relationship. Nobody ever took a sexual interest in him. He comforted himself by looking up girl's skirts.
After licking his lips as he got a little closer to one rather cute girl whose skirt was far too short, Miboshi felt compelled to stop and pay attention to his surroundings. The girl walked away, quickly forgotten by Miboshi.
He was on a sidewalk, in the middle of downtown Tokyo.
And yet, he felt like he was back in the Universe of the Four Gods.
Chiriko came to stop at Miboshi's side, feeling the nexus point as keenly as Miboshi. "Keisuke...?? What happened here? Why do I feel the Universe of the Four Gods? I can sense Suzaku. Suzaku was here," Chiriko said in surprise.
"And Seiryu," Miboshi added.
Keisuke took a step back and took in his surrounding, studying buildings, wondering what the teenagers felt, and why. And then it clicked. Just like that.
"Welcome to the very spot where Yui summoned Seiryu, and Miaka summoned Suzaku," Keisuke quipped. Here, he had found his little sister, holding a book and crying tears of mixed joy and sorrow after the book had closed, and she was left alone. Here, the Suzaku Seven had stood off against Nakago, as the mad Seiryu Warrior had tried to force Yui to make him a god. Here, Tamahome had died at Nakago's hands, only to be brought back by the power of his love for Miaka. Here, Tasuki and Chichiri had prepared to give their lives to protect Miaka and the world from Nakago. Here, Yui had been devoured by Seiryu. Here, Seiryu had been bound, and Nakago's heart ripped out by Tamahome.
"You mean, welcome to the nexus point," Chiriko said calmly.
"Nexus point?" Keisuke asked.
"Here's where we'll go back to our own world, Keisuke. It's been pre-ordained. All we have to do is figure out which seishi need to be awakened next."
"Oh, is that all? And here I thought you meant this place was important or something."
"You are being sarcastic, right?"
Suboshi and Amiboshi sat casually on the loveseat, facing their parents who sat on the couch. Suboshi was stretched out comfortably, his arms on the back of the seat, protectively lying over his brother's shoulders, almost as if he hadn't meant to do it on purpose. Amiboshi leaned back, one arm raised to grip his own shoulder, his fingers casually brushing Suboshi's arm, as if that was also unintentional.
Tetsuya tightened his jaw. Ever since they were born, his twins had never been content unless they maintained physical contact of some sort. As babies, they had cried if separated, only settling down if left together in the same crib. As toddlers, they refused to do anything on their own, even use the bathroom. As children, Tetsuya and Yui had caught them repeatedly playing little childish sex games with each other. And as teenagers, they still demanded to share a room, and more than once, and Yui or Tetsuya found one twin in the other's bed. Neither boys went anywhere separately, and not only did they not have girlfriends at sixteen, but no obvious desire for one.
It concerned Tetsuya and his wife immensely.
"So, Mom, Dad... What did you want to speak with us about?" Suboshi asked casually, in his boyish tenor, that refused to change, even after puberty.
"Well..." Yui began, the designated speaker. "We're a little concerned about the pair of you, to be honest. You don't go out with any friends, unless you're together. You don't have girlfriends... You don't ever seem to be apart. We've even found you in your brother's bed at night, as if you were small children afraid to sleep alone," Yui said as tactfully as possible.
"What are you trying to say, Mom?" Amiboshi asked with a surprised, innocent expression.
"We... think you two are too close. We think you two need to split up a little bit, grow up on your own. Maybe you need separate rooms. We both think you need to be apart," Yui said firmly.
Suboshi began to look angry, and Yui had never seen such a dark look on her son's face in this life. Only in his past life had he ever looked so infuriated. Amiboshi paled, and looked about ready to pass out. Suboshi, the more forthcoming twin spoke.
"Never. You can't do this to us. You can't keep us apart. We'll never be separated again. Ever. Not even by you, Mother," Suboshi growled. Tetsuya paled, wondering if this was how Suboshi was like in his past life. The pretty, boyish young man looked livid and his face was filled with blood. He almost looked capable of acts of extreme rage, acts that led to the death of Tamahome's innocent family in his past life.
"We'll leave first! You can't do this to us! You separated us before, but we won't let it happen again. We need each other," Amiboshi said firmly. Yui was chalk white. Her sons spoke to her as they did in their past lives. They didn't even realize it, but they were both drawing memories from their past lives.
Tetsuya was speechless, but Yui kept her wits. "Why? Why do you have to be together?" she asked her sons desperately.
Suboshi blinked, most of his anger draining. "We'd die without the other, Mom, don't you remember? We become weak when separated. Weak in mind, not body. We're not complete unless we're together. It's always been like that...." Suboshi said firmly.
"Please, Mother," Amiboshi begged, his blue eyes growing wide, as his own persona returned, "Please.... Please don't separate us...."
"Please," Suboshi repeated, looking more fearful than angry now. His own self seemed to come back. Tetsuya shook in realization. His sons would not, could not, be left alone. Their spirits would darken, an suffer for the separation. He realized that now.
"Alright. You can stay like you are now... Together," Yui said weakly. She could feel the truth of their words. Their ki, their life force was gathered up together, inseparable. To separate body would only tear at their spirits. To tear at their spirits would make them both capable of horrible things... like murdering children.
The twins stood up, both appearing drained and weakened, as if they had just barely won a battle for their lives. Yui hung her head, feeling guilty, as if she had just taken a knife to her own children. Tetsuya looked straight into his sons' eyes, his jaw set, as they prepared to leave.
"Remember, boys, that no matter what you do, or don't do... No matter what people say, and no matter what may or may not be wrong..... And no matter how you feel about each other.... Your mother and I love you. With all our hearts. And always will," Tetsuya said sincerely. And he did love his sons.
No matter what...
"Are you stalking me now?" Soi asked with a deep sigh.
"Huh?" Tamahome responded stupidly, walking up to the young woman's table, his hands in his pockets.
"Why are you here?" she asked with a thread of annoyance, looking up form her book to study Tamahome's sheepish grin.
"It's a book store. I thought anyone could go into a book store," Tamahome shrugged, sitting down across from her without invitation.
Soi narrowed her deep blue eyes. She was wearing a black skirt, with a blue shirt that clung to her shapely bosom. Her long, magenta hair was down, and her light make-up was impeccable. Soi was easily the most beautiful woman in the entire store. "But someone like you? I'm surprised you even know how to read," she said sarcastically.
"You're certainly not making this easier on me, are you? I was walking by and saw you inside, so I thought it only fair to say hello. So... Hello," Tamahome said brightly.
Soi sighed, sweatdropping. "Idiot. Why are you being so nice?" she asked bluntly.
Tamahome shrugged, staring at his hands. "I... feel bad for you," he said.
"I don't want or need anyone's pity," Soi hissed, standing up to leave again.
"It's not that, Soi. I feel bad for you, because I feel bad for me. I mean, I have other friends, but none like Tasuki. And I miss him. Everything's different now. And he's so uncomfortable around me now, because of what I said to him a while back... Tasuki was my best friend," Tamahome said quietly.
"And what does that have to do with me?" Soi asked, pausing.
"We have something in common. The loss of someone we care about. To the other person. I don't see you hanging out with any of your friends..." Tamahome sighed.
"How could I? None of them could replace Nakago. None could understand me. Maybe Tomo, but he really doesn't like women at all," Soi sighed, sitting back down.
"Nakago was your friend, not just your boyfriend?" Tamahome asked innocently.
Soi stared down at her hands now. "I... considered him one. I talked to him. Trusted him. Relied on him. And I gave him all the comfort and support I could, but he never took me seriously. I'm a mere woman, his automatic lesser. He automatically assumed I couldn't understand his problems. He never confided in me, like I did him. To him, women are only half a person. Tools, I suppose," Soi shrugged.
Tamahome blinked, digesting this information. "So he only accepts men as equals? If you were a man, do you think he would have loved you back?" he asked.
Soi stared at Tamahome thoughtfully. "Maybe, I don't know. It would not have been impossible. If even he's capable of love..."
"Heh. Never took Nakago for a male chauvinist. Guess I should have. It must be odd for him to deal with Tasuki's big sister. Junko'd kick that attitude right out of him," Tamahome chuckled.
"He doesn't even consciously know that's how he feels about women. But as masculine as that sister of Tasuki's is, I have no doubts in my mind that he's almost forced to treat her as an equal..."
Tamahome chuckled. "I miss her and her cooking, almost as much as I miss Tasuki," he said quietly.
Soi was silent for a while. "If Tasuki was a woman, do you think you would have loved him back?" she asked gently.
"I... maybe. I don't know. But what makes you think he loved me?" Tamahome asked.
"It was obvious. He wears his emotions on his face, for all to read. I thought you would have realized how much he liked you. Even I noticed how he acted around you, and I hardly ever dealt with you. In a strange sort of way, Tasuki and I are a lot alike. We both fell in love with men who would never love us back as long as we stayed our gender..."
"I guess that makes me and Nakago alike, in a strange way," Tamahome said thoughtfully.
Soi stared at him. "I really don't know why I'm even talking about this to you. I can't believe myself. To you. Like you'd understand how I feel," she griped.
"Maybe you need to talk to someone. I need to talk to someone. To someone who might see it form the cause of our loss's point of view. I can listen, and I can understand," Tamahome smiled brightly.
"Hmph. How sensitive of you. It will take some time for me to get used to a sensitive male," Soi said with a small smile. Something about Tamahome's easy-going manner drew her in. His presence was comforting.
"Not only am I sensitive, but I'm cute, too. And hung like a horse," Tamahome grinned lecherously.
Soi slapped the raven-haired boy so hard he fell off the chair. He sat up, ruefully rubbing his cheek. "Maybe I spoke too soon," Soi sighed, as Tamahome grinned sheepishly up at her.
"Sorry. Couldn't help myself. But you know, if you ever get the urge to-" Tamahome started before Soi cut him off.
"I understand you're a teenage boy. I understand you're probably desperately horny. But let's get one thing straight, Tamahome. In all honesty, when it comes to Nakago, you don't hold a candle. I'm not interested in sex at all, especially with some inexperienced lout like you. We can be friends, we can talk. But if you ever touch me, I'll stick you out in the middle of a thunderstorm with metal underwear on," Soi said sternly.
Tamahome sighed and climbed back up on his chair. He grinned after a minute. Soi was actually secretly impressed. Little fazed Tamahome, even rejection.
"Alright, that's fair. But in my own defense, I'm not as bad as you think I am. And I'll be good, I promise. I just had to try. It was my penis talking. He comes out on occasion. Just soak him with cold water and he’ll go away," he said cheerfully.
"I know I'm going to regret this," Soi said, but she smiled. She wasn't sure why, but she found herself feeling better around Tamahome. It was hard to be depressed around someone as bright, and as compassionate as he was. She could talk to Tamahome, like she often did with Nakago, only with Tamahome she would receive warmth and compassion back.
It's nice to have friends, she was discovering.
Nakago clenched and unclenched his fists as he stalked down the hallway to his bedroom.
His father had called him away from Tasuki almost the moment he stepped in the door, and Nakago left the redhead in his room, to go visit his father. What he received was a stern tongue-lashing from his father for his failure in school. Apparently Hanako-sensei had placed a call to Nakago's father, and let him know what had transpired earlier.
Nakago's father had high expectations for Nakago, and expected his son to take over his business in a decade or so. Failure was not acceptable. Nakago's ears still rung from the scathing insults. Nakago stood there silently, like a wall of ice, taking his father's verbal abuse. His mother sat off to the side, never even bothering to look up form her nails. It had been over three months since he'd physically seen either of his parents, and when he finally saw them, it was to be yelled at for his academic failure. From anyone else, Nakago was immune to insults, but from his own father, it stung. Part of him desperately wanted to experience the sort of paternal affection he had seen Tamahome receive from Taka, or Suboshi and Amiboshi received from Tetsuya. He still wanted his mother to look up from her nails and give him the maternal affection Junko gave Tasuki, or Miaka gave Tamahome. The craving for parental affection still hadn't left him, even as a teenager.
He wanted to be loved.
He hated the way his parents treated him. He loathed it. It made him so angry he wanted to go out and smash people's faces in. But Nakago controlled his anger. Destruction would get him nowhere.
And besides, now there others to consider.
Nakago walked inside his room, heading to his sitting room, finding Tasuki asleep on the couch, his slender body smelling of soap, wearing nothing but one of Nakago's shirts. His own clothes were in a pile near the couch, and the TV was on, but the sound was off. Tasuki had taken a shower, and then fell asleep watching television while Nakago was gone for two hours.
Tasuki looked so peaceful when he slept, his doll-like face almost angelic in his sleep. His red hair was still damp form his shower, and splayed across his face, giving him a seductive look. His red eyelashes fluttered occasionally in his sleep, his pouty lips moist, seeming to be waiting to be kissed. Nakago stood there quietly, watching his lover sleep, his anger, frustration, and hurt fading at the very sight of Tasuki.
All he had to do was reach out and touch Tasuki's shoulder, waking the boy. And Tasuki would comfort him, make him feel better. Tasuki would kiss him, and make him feel loved.
Nakago blinked. What was wrong with him? Why should he care? Why was he suddenly so dependent on Tasuki? Why was he allowing himself to be so weak, and open himself to be hurt? Tasuki was a vulnerability. It hurt enough when his parents treated him badly. Did he really want to be hurt again, possibly even worse by Tasuki?
But Nakago found himself trusting Tasuki. He trusted Tasuki completely. And it was this trust that let him get so deeply involved with the pretty redhead. It was this trust that caused him to gently wake Tasuki, and not send the redhead away to protect his own feelings, but kneel down before the redhead and lay his head on Tasuki's lap, completely silent.
Tasuki was confused, but he laid his hands on Nakago's golden head, murmuring comfort to the blonde. Tasuki didn't know why Nakago was suddenly so depressed, but he sought to comfort him. Nakago sighed, allowing himself to be drawn up so he could meet Tasuki's lips with his own, closing his eyes, and allowing Tasuki's arms to embrace him. They sat on the couch together, the room dark but for the light of the silent television.
Nakago lay in the redhead's embrace for along while, letting his pain ebb out, his anger, his frustration, his sense of failure. It was all going to be alright. He would pass summer school, and help Tasuki pass as well. And then he could easily bring his marks up again, and return to his former station of glory as head of the class. He would have to spend a little less time with Tasuki, but not so much that it would hurt. Only so much as he needed to study and concentrate.
Nakago realized with mild surprise that he was already including Tasuki in his future. Not very far into his future, but the more Nakago thought about it, the more Tasuki began to creep into his plans. He wanted the redhead around. Nakago wanted the comfort, and the joy of Tasuki's company. Nakago had developed a taste for Tasuki's company, an addiction to the redhead's presence in his life.
Nakago changed the tempo of his kiss with Tasuki, from the slow tempo of comfort, to a more urgent pace, a kiss that conveyed desire. Tasuki eagerly kissed back, his hands stroking Nakago's back muscles tenderly. Nakago moved his lips down to gently kiss Tasuki's pale white neck, flicking his tongue out at various intervals.
"You see what I mean about you starting everything? You're an animal," Tasuki giggled softly, slipping his hands underneath Nakago's shirt to stroke the firm flesh of his chest.
"And of course, I rape you every time, because you never want me to touch you at all," Nakago chuckled, kissing underneath Tasuki's chin, his hands slipping down the redhead's slender body to find the hem of the shirt Tasuki wore.
"Exactly. I hate you touching me. It makes me sick," Tasuki giggled, slipping Nakago's shirt off, so that he could stroke the blonde's chest without impediment.
"I can tell. Revulsion drips from every pore of your body," Nakago chuckled as he caused Tasuki to gasp as he slipped his hands beneath the shirt, finding Tasuki's partial erection.
"No cheating!" Tasuki cried, pushing Nakago off with a squeal when the blonde began stroking his erection. Tasuki grinned and pushed Nakago back down onto the couch, straddling the blonde's clothed hips.
"Cheating?" Nakago asked with an arched eyebrow, allowing Tasuki to dominate him for the moment. Never would Nakago had allowed anyone else to do such a thing. Again, Nakago’s strange trust in Tasuki allowed Nakago to relax, and let Tasuki take charge.
"Cheating. You always try to make me come first. And you were cheating. But it's my turn to try and make you come first," Tasuki giggled, running his hands down Nakago's bare, muscular chest.
"Oh, really?" Nakago asked with a small smile. "But I thought you enjoyed having me inside you."
"I do," Tasuki shrugged. "But just because you're inside me doesn't mean I always have to be submissive."
During their time together, Nakago and Tasuki had tried many different sexual positions and techniques. Never had Nakago ever allowed anyone inside him, but his trust had allowed Tasuki to try being the top. They seemed to mutually agree they preferred it the other way, but as Tasuki said, just because they had established who preferred to receive and who to give, didn't mean they had established who was dominant, and who submissive. Neither boy liked to be completely submissive, although Tasuki more often conceded than Nakago, who was more aggressive than Tasuki, even though Tasuki was more temperamental.
Nakago arched upwards to kiss Tasuki again, allowing the redhead to undo his pants. Tasuki smiled into their kiss, pulling Nakago's pants off until the blonde was completely nude.
"Now that's cheating, Dollface. Stripping me naked, while you still have your clothes on," Nakago chuckled, slipping his hands across Tasuki's bare thighs. Tasuki grinned, showing his fangs.
"You want me naked? Funny-lookin' little ol' me?" Tasuki grinned, bending down to kiss Nakago's collarbone.
"You'e not funny-looking, and yes, I very much want you naked," Nakago sighed, trying to slip the hem of Tasuki's shirt up past his thighs, but Tasuki was having none of it, and pushed against Nakago's hands, not letting the shirt past his hips.
"Well, we don't always get what we want," Tasuki giggled mischievously, kissing his way down onto Nakago's sculpted pectoral muscle.
Nakago conceded on the shirt, taking another form of attack by grabbing Tasuki's hips, and pushing the boy down from his own hips onto his aching erection. Tasuki wore nothing under his shirt, and the boys' bare erections rubbed against each other, causing them both to gasp in pleasure.
Tasuki wriggled into the contact, grinding his hips deeply into Nakago's, the lengths of their cocks brushing against the other, creating jolts of pleasure for them both. Nakago reached around to grip Tasuki's rounded ass, keeping the boy pressed against him. Tasuki found one of Nakago's nipples, and exploited it happily with his lips, his other hand gently fondling the other. Nakago moaned very softly, rocking his hips into Tasuki's.
"You've gotten way too good at this," the blonde whispered, his body flushed with heat. Tasuki had indeed quickly acquired the skills of a great lover, and could as easily manipulate Nakago's body into the throes of ecstasy at Nakago could his.
"Learned from the best," Tasuki said with a seductive grin, switching nipples, and gently suckling on the other brown, fleshy nub. Nakago exhaled in pleasure, his entire body quickly catching on fire.
"No more teasing, Dollface. Let me in," Nakago said firmly, his strong grasp adjusting Tasuki's hips. Tasuki slid up without resistance, pressing back against Nakago's throbbing erection.
"We need some lubrication," Nakago groaned in annoyance. He didn't want to be separated from Tasuki's body for even a second now, but he didn‘t want to hurt Tasuki with a dry fuck either.
Tasuki grinned. "No we don't. I think ahead," he giggled and impaled himself on Nakago. He had already lubricated himself thoroughly before Nakago had even come back to the room. Nakago groaned as Tasuki's warmth encased him.
"Keep things like this up, and you're reputation as a baka will be destroyed," Nakago whispered hoarsely. Tasuki just smiled down at him, his face flushed with pleasure.
It was odd. Earlier that day, Nakago had gotten into a fight with Tasuki out of frustration. And now Tasuki was gently riding his hips, orchestrating a symphony of pleasure across his senses. How quickly both their moods would change, their fights not lasting very long. How quickly Tasuki forgave him. How quickly he forgave Tasuki. How quickly the unhappiness was forgotten between them, as if it never happened.
But there was more than just the physical sensations Tasuki played throughout his body. Tasuki's hands stroking his muscles, his body gently riding, bouncing on Nakago's hips were only part of the pleasure Nakago felt. Emotion was conveyed by every gasp Tasuki made in pleasure. Every kiss they exchanged as their faces would meet. Every point where their bodies touched. And the burning point where their bodies joined seemed to convey an emotion deeper and more intense than Nakago had ever felt from human being. It was like Tasuki was encasing him in an inferno of emotion and pleasure. Nakago cried out loudly as the pace grew more frantic, incredulous at the sensations he was feeling.
Nakago found himself staring into Tasuki's smiling face, the boy's golden eyes fixated on him, his fangs gleaming in the soft light of the television. Nakago let himself get lost in the honey orbs, and realized he had lost their little game as he came hard, arching into Tasuki with force of his orgasm. Nakago fell back with a soft groan, his vision darkening and then brightening as his senses slowly returning to him. The blonde gently wrapped his hand around Tasuki's leaking cock, and quickly returned the favor to the redhead, causing the lithe boy to arch and squirm on top of Nakago, crying out loudly in pleasure as he released his seed on Nakago's stomach.
Tasuki soon lay stretched out on top of him, the pair breathing heavily, caressing each other in the afterglow. The anger and hurt Nakago had felt earlier was completely gone, as if Tasuki had soaked it all up. Tasuki's acceptance, and comfort cleansed Nakago of his residual dark feelings, making him feel content, safe, and happy, though he couldn't put his feelings to words.
Almost empathically, Nakago could feel strong emotions emanating from Tasuki for him. He could feel it through the kiss they shared, through Tasuki's fingertips as he played with Nakago's long blonde hair. Nakago let the strong emotion wash through him, reveling in it. It made him feel strong, like he never had before.
"I love you, Nakago."
Nakago wasn't surprised by Tasuki's words, but he had no rejoinder to them. To answer in kind would be a lie. He cared for Tasuki, but he felt no love for anyone. Not even himself. But at least he had a word for Tasuki's strong emotion, and the healing inferno Tasuki seemed to be able to envelope him in by touch and by look.
Nakago was incapable of love, or at least he believed. But to have Tasuki's love was like having a priceless gem. Nakago wrapped his arms tighter around the redhead in response, kissing Tasuki gently on the lips. He gave no false return of love, nor did he refuse the love given him. He merely accepted the love as his due and offered Tasuki his companionship in return.
And that was enough for Tasuki. He never asked for more.
Suzaku smiled at his lover at Tasuki's revelation.
Seiryu returned the smile, embracing the god of fire, as they lay together, watching the mirror that revealed the doings of their seishi.
"It's time, Seiryu. Tasuki and Nakago are ready to awaken. We need to send dreams to Chiriko and Miboshi, so they can help awaken them," Suzaku whispered, coiling the long blue hair of the god of water around his finger.
"Yes... Our seishi will soon return to us, in a few days time. And then they will help save us," Seiryu whispered back.
If only it was that easy...
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