By The Wandering Englishman
I can only watch you from a distance. When you fight, you are graceful…it's almost as if your words are as sharp as a blade as you dance circles around everyone else. You're always moving, always growing; never letting anything get you down as you take each new day in its stride.
You were the first to acknowledge me; the connection between us there at the start. You gave me your friendship and showed me compassion. You showed me your heart when you knew you didn't have to.
The feelings were new to me; I wasn't even 18, but I knew I liked you. I've always liked you. Admired you. But I could never tell you face to face. As each of your words etches itself onto my heart, I can only listen, in the hopes that one day I can build up enough courage to tell you.
I love the sound of your voice when you're talking to me. It's soft and sweet; like your soul; every accented line surrounds me with a sense of comfort that only you can give me. Every sentence holding me in the way that only you can; but I know never will.
You're there when I sleep, haunting my dreams. Your angelic beauty intoxicating as I reach out to touch it, but you're too far away; untouchable. I listen to you speak to me, but I cannot hear the words; only imagine what you're saying to me.
Every time I close my eyes, you're there in front of me. Your features giving me the comfort my soul will not permit me to have. Your face coming to me in the darkest of places, on the coldest of nights; giving me the warmth I can only imagine.
My breath shortens at the thought of touching you; of your arms around me. You're my protector, keeping me safe from the world and what it might bring. You are my safety; what keeps me alive. There is always the slightest hope that you feel the same.
When I see others around me, together, my thoughts turn to you. I imagine you. You holding me tight, never wanting to let me go. And when they kiss…I can't help but close my eyes, feeling your lips on mine.
I want to feel your tongue entwined with mine. I want drown in the taste of you; every part of you. I lie awake sometimes wondering what flavor you are. Are you Sweet like your personality? or something else? Something more exquisite? I would die tomorrow if it meant having one chance to feel your mouth on mine.
My heartbeat quickens at the thought of your fingers touching me. Your hands running over me to try and memorize my body as it lies beneath yours; caressing everything you can trace with your fingertips.
I want to feel your heated shin on my skin as you're on me; as you're in me. Each breath, each moan shared as we press together; feeling the point where our heartbeats synchronize. The point where we are whole, completing each other. The point where we are one.
But when I think of you, I think of you happy, like you are when I watch you. I know deep down you would never be happy with someone like me. But it can't stop me from dreaming of you, thinking of you in every way…
You may never read this, but here I have courage…
I'm in love with you Laguna.
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