The tense(s?) might not make sense. So I apologize in advance for anything screw ups, I really suck at tense -_-
Words That Kill
It all started with my mother. She lived a beautiful life, she was extremely happy living with Laguna. And then she gave birth to me. Laguna told me that she held me in her arms, wrapped in a fluffy blue towel. She was smiling and crying tears of joy. She kissed my smooth forehead and said she loved me. While I was carried away to be put in the nursery she died in her sleep. Laguna said it was too much stress on her frail body.
Four years ago I finally got reunited with my father, Laguna. He told me stories of my mother when she was my age, how they met and his days of playing knight. I always liked watching him more then listening to him. He always got really animated when he told me stories of the past. His eyes would light up, his arms would gesture wildly in the air and he'd be smiling broadly even when he was talking. A year after we got so close that even I was telling him things that I'd never told anyone else except one. One night things got pretty emotional and he said he loved me. In the next week he had a heart attack.
During the time I was getting to know my father I was also dating Rinoa. It was nice to have a warm body next to mine while I slept. After one night of making love, she whispered those three words to me. Four days later we went out for dinner. We were crossing the street when suddenly she pushed me to the curb and got hit by a speeding SUV. I found out later that the driver was drunk. But she actually put her life before mine... if only it had been the other way around.
Irvine and I went out for six months. He almost said he loved me, he only got the first two words out before I ran out the door. He killed himself a week later.
And people wonder why I don't let them close anymore. I still have Zell, Quistis and Selphie as friends though. I know they won't say it to me. But Seifer's a different story. He and I have been going out for three years now. We restarted our friendship when he came back to the Garden after the sorceress' war. He was basically following me around wherever I went trying to apologize to me. I finally gave in and told him to shut up. We were best friends for five years.
One night he and I were lying on my bed. We were both reading the Weapon Monthly Magazine, a new style of gunblade was being modeled. He suddenly stopped reading and turned over onto his side, supporting himself with his elbow. I looked up about to ask what was wrong, but I stopped short.
He gently tucked a stray chestnut lock behind my ear and slid his index finger down the scar on the bridge of my nose. His exotic green eyes suddenly looked so sad that I could feel my heart brake. He blinked unshed tears away and brought himself to his knees beside me. Taking both large hands he cupped my face gently and slowly leaned toward me.
He seemed to be searching my face for something and seeming to find it he closed his eyes and covered my lips with his own. At first I tensed, but feeling his tongue glide over my bottom lip I opened my mouth eagerly and met with equal passion. He let out a low growl as I pressed my body against his. His heat spread through me and was close to unbearable as he moved his hands from cupping my face to instead guiding me the rest of the way to the bed. I grunted slightly as his full body weight landed on me. He chuckled slightly "Sorry, guess I don't know my own strength." And we proceeded to ravish each other on my bed.
So far it's been pretty pleasant. I really don't want to lose him. I hope he doesn't fall in love with me. Or he at least doesn't tell me. I don't want him to die. I know I love him but I've been too scared of saying it... just incase. I don't want anything to happen to him. I think he understands. Why wouldn't he? He understands everything else about me. He was always there to comfort me when I was in need of it. Even if I told him to fuck off he would just say no and he'd wrap his arms around me until I finally broke down and cried in his arms. I guess it was inevitable. He's the only one who's been with me through everything. The only time he left me was when he was controlled by the sorceress. I think he knows what will happen to him if he tells me those three words.
Were in his room tonight. He's leaning against the head board and his arms are wrapped around my slim waist as I lean on his broad chest. My head is resting on his left shoulder and he has his head bowed slightly, his full lips gliding over my pale neck. His teeth lightly scrape against my skin, his tongue flicking out to taste my adams apple. I moan quietly as his left hand trails down my waist to rest on my erect member. My moans grow louder when he slips my cotton boxers down to my knees and wraps his large tanned hand around my pale sex and squeezes gently. Through half lidded eyes I watch him touch my in a way that drives me wild.
Seifer gets out from behind me and moves on all fours to kneel before me. I almost explode right there as he bends down and flicks his tongue to taste the glistening head. He smirks slightly, and the lust in his eyes makes me moan out loud. "Yummy.." I reach out and run my hands through his golden locks. Gently encouraging him, or rather pushing him slightly to take me in further. Either way, he grants my wish and I find myself incased in a warm tunnel, almost as good as being buried to the hilt in his ass.
I close my eyes tightly when he starts sucking on my member. My whole body tenses and he quickly glides his mouth to the head of my cock and does that amazing tongue movement that reminds me of lollipops, and my hips jerk up by their own accord. My whole body spasms and I scream out Seifer's name. Landing with a soft thud on the bed I look at Seifer and watch as he swallows happily. Grabbing him by the back of his neck I pull him down and lick the small trail of come dripping down his chin. He smiles dreamily and collapses on top of me.
"What about you?" He shakes his head and holds his hand in front of my face. Glistening white fluid coats it. I eagerly lap up the come and curl against him. I hear him sigh in content and he wraps his muscular arms around my slim form. It's moments like this that I live for. We're both content, comfortable in each others arms and happy to just be with the other.
Seifer kisses my forehead and whispers those three words that I never wanted to hear spoken to me. "I love you." No.. no! He can't say it! Take it back! Please... "Squall, it's okay." He coos quietly as he attempts to sooth me, tightening his hold on my quivering body. My salty tears slide down my pale face to land onto his sweaty chest. "Nothing's going to happen to me. I'm not going to die for a long time. Just because someone says 'I love you' it doesn't mean their automatically sentenced to an early death. I love you. I've loved you for a long time, but I haven't said it because I was afraid of you doing something like this. I love you Squall, and I can't take that back. I won't take it back." My crying subsides but my fears remain. I know he's going to die. Everyone who loves me dies. There's enough proof of that in my life.
I yawn slightly and Seifer pulls the wrinkled bed sheets over us. "I'm gonna live for a long time Squall. Your not going to get rid of me that easily." He squeezes me tightly and my fears are slightly lessened. I try to forget about my past experiences with love and just live for the moment. I feel safe, content and loved in Seifer's warm embrace. He's right. Those deaths weren't my fault. And they didn't happen just because they loved me. I have a good feeling about Seifer. Besides, he's stubborn enough that nothing can bring him down that easily. And he's also strong enough to handle anything that life has to through at him. I'm sure he won't mind me borrowing some of that strength. Sometimes it feels like I have no strength left in me and I can't go on anymore, but with Seifer I can have that strength back.
"I love you." And I really do. Nothing's going to happen to stop that love. Even if one of us dies, we'll find a way to be together. "And I love you. I will for eternity. No matter what happens we'll find a way to be together. I'll make sure of it." I smile happily and meet him in a goodnight kiss. They'll be plenty of more of those too.
We both drift of, content in each others loving embrace.
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