Zell has no idea what the hell was wrong with him.
For most of his life, he had hated Seifer. Every time the tall blond came into Zell's vision he would automatically be angry. Seifer has teased him... treated him like the ultimate shit...
And now Zell was sleeping in the same bed with him, only hours after actually sleeping with him. Zell propped himself on his elbow, glaring at Seifer's scarred face.
Man, he looked cute when he was asleep...
Okay, so Seifer was attractive. No... Seifer was fucking HOT. No denying that.
But he was still an asshole. And Zell, although he certainly didn't mind the sex, didn't rely on pure animal attraction in a relationship.
Why Seifer? Of all people in the world... Zell had been hit on before, by both sex. And although many of them were plenty attractive, Zell had turned them all down.
But he accepted Seifer's proposal. Or maybe Zell had been the one to instigate the relationship. That night was muddled in Zell's mind.
He had found Seifer ready to die. Seifer had improved since then, but he still fell into fits of depression, and he felt he was worth absolutely nothing. Zell was the only one there to pull him away from that idea, and it was Zell's goal to extinguish that idea all together.
Is that why he stayed with Seifer? Because he needed sympathy?
~NO,~ Zell told his brain fiercely. Seifer was more thhan that to him.
But what was Seifer to him? A lover? Well, yes - that much was obvious. A companion? Zell had no idea what that meant.
"Am I in love with you?" Zell whispered to Seifer's sleeping form.
"I hope so... but I know that I'm in love with you." Zell blinked and stared at Seifer. The taller blond's eyes were still closed, but he was smirking.
"You're awake?" Zell question, his brow furrowing.
"Yes - and so are you." Seifer's eyes opened sleepily. "What are you doing?"
"You. Me. Us."
Seifer frowned. "Good thoughts, I hope. Not bad thoughts... or second thoughts..."
"I'm not sure. I'm trying to figure out... me. Why I'm so - so into you... when..."
"I'm such an asshole?" Seifer's smile appeared again.
"How'd you know?"
"You call me an asshole almost every day."
"That's because you are."
"It just comes naturally, chicken wuss."
"Don't call me that!"
Seifer sat up, bringing his face closer to Zell's. "Are you sure that's not why you're so into me? Because I'm such an asshole?"
Zell smiled, kissing Seifer's forehead. "That's not why. I don't know why."
"Do you have to know why tonight?"
"Not necessarily... why?"
"Because I want you to sleep with me."
Zell sighed. "Seifer, I'm too tired -"
"I don't mean sex, chicken." Seifer put his head back on the pillow and smiled up at Zell. "Just sleep... together."
Zell paused for a moment, thinking. Then he leaned down and gently bit the end of Seifer's nose. "You are..."
"I am what?"
"You are my buddy," Zell began.
"'Buddy?'" Seifer sputtered jokingly.
"You are my buddy. You are my friend. You are my lover. You are my reason."
"I'm your reason?" Seifer studied Zell's face.
"I don't need a reason for being so into you. You are my reason."
Seifer smiled, raising the back of his hand to stroke Zell's cheek. "That doesn't make any sense, chicken." He turned his hand and drew Zell's mouth closer to his own, but not kissing him. "But I like the sound of it."
"WE don't make sense," Zell whispered. "But I suppose that's only because I don't make sense." The tattooed blond diminished the distance between the mouths by kissing Seifer.
"You don't make sense?" Seifer questioned dreamily after their lips parted.
"Have I ever made sense?"
"When you found me. You made sense." Seifer kissed Zell again, although not as deep as before. "It's true that you don't ALWAYS make sense, but that's how I fell for you in the first place. I admired your ability to control your senselessness."
"What the hell does that mean?"
"Hey, I don't make much sense, either."
"Shut up." Zell silenced Seifer by kissing him once more, and then he settled down in the bed next to his lover.
Seifer scooted closer to Zell as the smaller blond curled up next to him. He watched Zell's eyes close, and then asked a question. "So are you?"
Zell opened one eye lazily. "Am I what?"
"Are you in love with me?"
Zell opened both eyes. "Does it matter if I say yes or no?"
Seifer thought for a moment. "Truthfully, not really."
"Good. Love is an overused word these days, anyway. It doesn't mean anything anymore." Zell let his eyes close again.
"You're doing it again."
Zell smiled. "In that case, dearie..." He pecked Seifer on the lips and smirked. "I don't love you, you asshole."
Seifer smirked back. "And I don't love you either, chicken wuss."
Zell frowned. "Can't it just be 'chicken?' I don't mind being called chicken..."
"But 'chicken wuss' makes you angry -"
"I know," Zell said, baring his teeth. "But couldn't you just shorten it to 'chicken' until I figure out how to piss you off?"
"You've still got sharp canines."
"It's not like I've gotten my teeth filed since you last pointed it out."
"You had better not get them filed. I like your teeth. You always show them when you're mad!"
Zell growled. "Seifer..."
"Yes, chicken dearest?"
"Go to sleep."
Seifer pretended to pout. "What can I say if 'love' means nothing?"
"You change subjects a lot."
"Answer the question, Mr. Philosopher."
"If 'love' means nothing, words aren't needed."
Seifer flashed his trademark smirk. "Then why are we talking?"
Zell smiled back at him...
And didn't say a word.
Instead, he kissed Seifer goodnight and they simply fell asleep.
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