Disclaimer: Don’t own them, as much as I’d like to. No money, so suing will get you nowhere! :)
Warnings: OOCness, sarcasm, mild swearing, gratuitous Rinoa-bashing (Rinoa fans, stop reading and press the back button on your browser NOW), a teeny bit of Zell, Selphie and Quistis-bashing, single-minded Squall & Seifer, shounen-ai (for the uninitiated, that’s boy-boy romance. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. Flames will be ignored…=P)
* text – actions
text – speech
//text// – thoughts
What REALLY happened at the SeeD Ball
* Squall stands in a corner drinking a glass of – something – and looking grumpy.
Squall: //Stupid Seifer, if you’d just followed instructions for once then you’d have passed the stupid SeeD test and then you’d be here with me now and I wouldn’t have to stand in a corner trying to pretend to look all cool and stuff just ‘cos I’ve never been to a bloody ball before and I have no idea what the hell I’m supposed to do.//
[Author’s note: Yes, Squall *thinks* a WHOLE lot more than he *talks*.]
* Zell walks up to Squall and talks to him.
Squall: //Damn you, Seifer. Now Zell’s trying to hit on me.//
* Zell extends his hand to shake Squall’s.
* Squall ignores Zell.
* Zell talks some more and then runs off.
* Selphie talks to Zell and asks him to join the Garden Festival committee.
Squall: (sees Selphie) //Damn, I hope she doesn’t see me. If I’m lucky, my SeeD uniform will blend nicely into this ugly pillar I’m leaning against.// (Takes deep breath) //I-am-a pillar. I-am-a-pillar. I-am-a-pillar…//
* Zell makes some excuse and then runs off to hide.
* Selphie comes up to Squall.
Squall: //NOOOOO!!!!! Guess it didn’t work then. Nope. Not my lucky day.//
* Selphie asks Squall to join the Garden Festival committee.
Squall: //SeiferSeiferSeiferSeifer…help meeeeee…I am a social retard…//
* Squall agrees to join.
* Selphie cheers and runs off.
Squall: //Seiferrrrr…heyyyy wait, did I just *agree* to join the…NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!//
* Squall sees some girl (i.e. Rinoa) grinning at him.
Squall: //Why is she looking at me…?//
* Rinoa comes up to Squall.
Squall: //…oh shit.//
Rinoa: You’re the best looking guy here.
Squall: //*Definitely* not my lucky day.//
Rinoa: Dance with me?
Squall: //I want Seifer.//
Rinoa: Let me guess…you'll only dance with someone you like.
Squall: //I’ll only dance with Seifer, yes.//
* Rinoa thinks. Hard.
Rinoa: Okay then…look into my eyes…
* Rinoa waves her finger in front of Squall.
Squall: (sarcastic, ala the Black Adder) //Oh, God.//
Rinoa: Did it work?
Squall: //You think?!?//
Squall: …I can’t dance.
Squall: //…with anyone but Seifer.//
Rinoa: You'll be fine. Come on.
Squall: //Seifer, this is ALL YOUR BLOODY FAULT.//
* Rinoa gets a deathgrip on Squall and drags him onto the dance floor.
Squall: (sighs resignedly) //Maybe I can *pretend* she’s Seifer…hey, does that mean she gets to lead?//
* Seifer stands outside the ballroom door.
* Seifer gets bored.
* Seifer pokes his head into the ballroom.
* Seifer sees Squall dancing with Rinoa.
* Seifer turns purple.
Seifer: //I think I’ve been hanging around with Fuu a little too much.//
Seifer: //But Squall’s MINE…ya know?//
Seifer: //…dammit, Raijin!//
* Seifer glares at Squall.
* Squall looks up and sees Seifer glaring at him.
Squall: //…crap. Looks like I’m not getting any tonight…//
* Squall gets distracted.
* Squall bumps into another couple.
* The girl of the couple turns around and glares at Squall.
* Squall glares back.
Squall: //What’s your problem? *Your* boyfriend didn’t just catch you dancing with another *girl*!!//
* Rinoa makes a face at the other girl and pulls Squall away.
Squall: //Catfight! Catfight! …No? Ah, damn.//
* The dance goes on.
* And on.
* And finally, the dance ends. The fireworks start.
Squall: //Screw the fireworks. I want Seifer.//
* Rinoa smiles, turns around and leaves.
* Seifer waits for Squall at the doorway of the ballroom.
* Seifer sulks.
* Squall walks up to Seifer.
* Seifer tilts his head and looks at Squall, still sulky.
Seifer: So did you have fun?
Seifer: //Grrr…you’d better not say that you had fun…you’re *mineeeee*!!!//
Squall: //Of course it wasn’t fun, you idiot. This whole night was completely terrifying. And to top it all off, I had to dance with that scary girl. It was about as fun as going to the Fire Cavern with Instructor Trepe and wondering whether *she* or Ifrit would jump me first. Hmph. It would’ve been fun if I’d been dancing with *you*.//
* Seifer grins.
Seifer: Good enough.
* Seifer grabs an unprotesting Squall and drags him off.
* Squall smirks and lets himself be dragged off. //Hehheh, at least I’ll get to have some fun *now*. Looks like I’m getting some tonight after all...//
Erm, I didn’t intend for this to be a Rinoa-bashing fic, it just turned out that way. Apologies to all Rinoa fans (although I’m not exactly very fond of Rinoa)…and I definitely didn’t intend to bash Zell and Selphie ‘cos I quite like them, but well…*shrugs* the muses work in funny ways sometimes. :) No hard feelings, yes? *smiles*
Additional notes (edited 5 Jun ’01):
Okay, just edited a couple of lines a tad and added in the bit about Quistis up there…*wrings hands* Argh!!! What did I do?!? I *like* Quistis!! …*shakes head* Evil, evil muses I’ve got…*pokes Heero and Duo*
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