By Sycorax

//Will you lift me up with tender care?//

I can’t sleep. I stare at you, watching as you slept peacefully. A few words enter my mind as I push a strand of your soft chocolate hair away from your face. Gorgeous, amazing, beautiful, wonderful…..mine. Hyne, I still can’t believe you’re here…..with me…..after all I’ve done.

I hurt you. I nearly killed you. She…..Ultimecia…..she controlled me when I did those things to you. I know that and understand it well, but…..the pain, the sins, they’re still there! I can’t get away from them. Every time I’m alone, thoughts of what I did, of who I hurt, of who I murdered…’s unbearable. Perhaps that’s why I’ve tried to end it. Who would’ve thought, the Great Seifer Almasy, a cowering fool who wishes nothing more than rid himself of his own life.

This isn’t the first time I’ve had trouble sleeping. I close my eyes and all see, all I feel is her. Her probing fingers, searching my mind, violating me in ways I didn’t know were possible. She delved into my deepest thoughts ripping my mind, my heart, my soul apart. No, it wasn’t just a violation.

It was rape.

//Will you wash me clean in the palm of your hands?//

Will you forgive me? What am I saying, how can you forgive me?

But you did, didn’t you? Somehow, you looked past my sins, past my mistakes and forgave me. How I love you for that! You shift slightly, causing another strand to fall in your eyes. I push the strand away again, marveling at the beauty that lay before me.

Damn it…’ve woken up. Ah…’re so adorable when you sleep, yet stunningly gorgeous when awake. Your eyes, amazing stormy moonstones. So beautiful. They’re searching me, a look a worry crossing those remarkable eyes I fell in love with.

“Seifer? What’s wrong?”

Everything, or at least that’s what I’d like to say. But every time I look at you, my words stumble. How can they not? You leave me speechless.

“You know I love you, right?”

“Of course I do, Seifer. I love you too.”

Oh Hyne, just hearing those words from your cupid-bow lips makes me want to melt. I move in close, sealing the distance between our lips. At first, our lips just playfully graced one another, teasing one another, bringing us both to the point of begging for more. Then it deepened, my mouth parting and allowing your tongue to attack mine, battling with one another, eager to explore each other’s taste, each other’s warmth.

//Hold me close so I can thrive//

You back away and smile, placing a finger on my temple and rubbing gently. I nuzzle close, not ever wanting to leave the warmth you provide. I love you so much.

“Why do you ask?”



“I just wanted you to know. That’s all.”

You offer another genuine smile, something rarely seen by anyone other than me. Then you press your lips against mine in another breath-stealing kiss.

//When you touch me//

Your arms snake around me, your hands tracing up and down my sides, raising my shirt so that your hands can play with flesh. Our kiss breaks, allowing our breath to mingle. I place my hands on your chest, exploring terrain I know all to well.

The lovemaking that follows leaves me in an ecstasy and peace that I can only find with you. Sweet lust relieved, sleep tugs at the both of us. You look at me and plant a gentle kiss on my forehead, then drape your arms around me.

//That’s when I know//

Your arms wrapped protectively around me, I finally fall asleep, knowing you’re beside me, with me always. My dreams that night aren’t filled with screams of victims past. Only with you.

//I’m alive.//


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