I've been so annoyed with my attempts at chapter three, so I wrote this >.<. It takes the piss, seriously. It seems my ability to write well has been short lived..... oh well, maybe if I'm a good girl, it'll come back....



By Kafers

Valhalla: (Hall-of-the-slain), Odin's hall in Asgard where all who die in battle gather - Snorri Sturluson's Edda



"I..... I can't move..."


"Shh, I-It'll be okay"


"I can't feel............. Am I dying?"


"No... No please, you can't die! I won't let you!"




"Please! Please, keep your eyes open!"


"I...... Why is there blood.....?"


"Oh God"


"It's so red....... I think..... I feel dizzy...."


"Keep your eyes open!!"


"Can't.......... I need...... sleep..."


"Please! NO!!"


"I........ I love you...... Sei...."


"Ah! NO! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!"



This rather serious addition to our story is interrupted by - *AN AMUSING INTERLUDE*

*Kafers jumps out of her dust bin, complete with microphone and a snazzy outfit (use your imagination)*

Kafers: Hello follocks! And welcome to the halls of Valhalla! Today we will be discussing some very important issues - not excluding what-colour-are-Squalls-underpants, the true meaning of Zellís tattoo, and why Irvine has never had a steady girlfriend-

Irvine: Hey! I've had many steady girlfriends!

Squall: Whatever....

Kafers: *Ahem*, Anyways, alas alack, we have no time to talk about random visions, unusual and cruel plot twists, strange romantic outcomes, and Kafers inability to write anything decent at the moment...

Zell: At all.

Kafers: What?

Zell: You mean, you inability to write anything decent at all.

Kafers: Oi! That was rude. No sex scene for Zell *gets out big black marker pen and crosses out writing* >.<

Zell: Bollocks!

Seifer: Just goes to show, this is what happens when you open your useless trap..

Zell: Hey, at least I can make the moves!

Kafers: Ooh, low blow...

Seifers: Yeah, well... at least... at least I'm not a complete tosser!

Zell: I'm sorry, did you just insult me? I could have sworn I heard a fart on the wind...

Seifer: *goes very very red* I'm gonna ring your stupid little neck...

Squall: *puts on Smart Glasses* Now now, don't be to harsh on Zell - he suffers from a common male aliment. I like to call it; TWS.

Seifer: TWS?

Squall: Tosser-wanker-syndrome.

Seifer: Ah, makes sense...

Zell: !?

Kafers: *laughs evilly*

Squall: I believe Irvine also suffers some-what from this aliment...

Irvine: What!? Why'd you have to drag me down as well!?!

Squall: *takes of Smart Glasses* Well, its true.

Irvine: *falls over*

Seifer: What a bunch of planks.

*Seifer is suddenly struck by an idea. Said idea gives Seifer a nose bleed. And we all know what that means....^_~*

Seifer: *trying to cover river of blood* Hey Squall....

Squall: Yes...?

Seifer: Would you, erm... like to make mad passionate love to me, followed by many angst ridden adventures, complete with action, torment, comfort, more passionate love making, before stealing a tourist boat and eloping to France for ever more, so we can live happily ever after and annoy the locals with our wild late night lovin'?

Squall: Erm... Okay then.

Seifer: *grin* Great! Lets go!

Kafers: *closes curtains* Well, thatís all we have time for I'm afraid..............*stony silence*.........................Look, I can't write sex people, since this fic is an R, and NC-17 is banned. *pleading looks from audience (consisting of two people and a packet of popcorn)* ............. Fine, have it your way. I'll write a kinky scene........... in the next 101 chapters! Mwhahaha.........

*ahem* You are the weakest link, so eff off.






Told you this take the piss. My apologies to anyone who went mad due to my randomness....

Coming to a Cinema near you: The Return of the Flirter - Zell goes for it again. Good Irvine Hunting - will he ever go steady!? And of course, Seifer & Squall - two star crossed lovers, but will their story be a tragedy or not?

So, sit back, buy some popcorn, and chew until something happens.....

Luv Kafers

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