Author's Notes: My first attempt at a songfic, so please don't totally rip it apart....

DISCLAIMER: Square owns game, VNV Nation owns "Beloved"

Of Loss and Hope

By Samantha Spiga

A lone figure traverses a path heís taken many times- with her. He pauses near the hillís crest, solemnly taking in the quiet beauty of the snow-covered landscape.

Itís colder than before
The seasons took all they had come for
Now winter dances here
It seems so fitting donít you think to dress the ground in white and grey

Crouching, he dusts the snow off the stone with a deft hand.

Itís so quiet I can hear my hands touching every second that I spent waiting for you

"Raine," Laguna sighs, a tear running down his cheek.

Laguna Loire remembers the day heíd heard that Raine was gone. He, Ward and Kiros had just sent Adel into space. Everyone was happy. Then he got the message - his beloved Raine was gone. Sheíd gone into labor the night before, just as a raging storm blew in. The baby boy arrived just as the worst part of the storm hit. The Innkeeper told her itís a boy, and then asked for a name. Wind rattled the shutters.

"Squall," she whispered then fell silent, still.

That was the day Lagunaís normally happy demeanor fell apart. Completely.

Circumstances afford me no second chance to tell you how much Iíve missed you

My Beloved do you know...
When the warm wind comes again another year will start to pass?
Please donít ask me why Iím here
Something deeper brought me than a need to remember

"How longís it been since Iíve been able to come here? If only I hadnít have left. Damn that Adel!" he growled, then shook his head. "But you... you told me to go, hell you practically pushed Kiros and I out to Ďgo make the world safe for our child.í"

We were once young and blessed with wings
No heights could keep us from their reach no sacred place we did not soar
Still greater things burned within us
I donít regret the choices Iíve made
I know youíd feel the same

A rueful smile plays across his face as he remembers the better times in Winhill.

"Hyne, I was a pain in the ass," he chuckled, then brushed away another tear. " and you, you gave me a chance, a home and a purpose - keeping Winhill- Ďspecially you and Elle - safe. Squall was taken to an orphanage. The lady, Edea I believe it was, I hearís really nice," Laguna let out a disgusted snort. "Elle, too is with her. I guess the folks here didnít plan on me cominí back, let alone alive. Itís for the best, I guess, beiní Estharís President is a full-time job. Me. President. Whoíd have guessed?" the soft laugh and his reverie is abruptly broken by a snowflake landing on his nose. He turns his gaze skyward.

My Beloved do you know...
how many times Iíve stared at clouds thinking that I saw you there?
These are feelings that do not pass so easily
I canít forget what we claimed as ours


"Hmm?" he peers over his shoulder.

Through the increasing snowfall, the tall, dark form of Kiros Seagill Came into view. He crouches, notices his friend shiver, then pulls Laguna into the warmth of his coat.

"Youíre going to freeze if you stay out here much longer," Kiros states, brushing snow from Lagunaís ebon hair.

"Yeah, I guess... " he sighs heavily, leaning into Kiros. "I... I didnít tell her..." His eyes trail away from Kiros.

"About us?" A small nod from his companion answers him. "Laguna, my dear, she was a wonderful, strong woman who wouldnít want you spending the rest of your life alone. Especially with that big heart of yours," he pulls Laguna closer. "You need to enjoy your life while you have it, love."

Kiros then stood, then helps Laguna to his feet. Laguna staggers a little, tripping into Kiros before slipping and landing on his ass.

"Guess I crouched too long... heh." He grins sheepishly.

The tall, dark man simply shakes his head, deciding that if Laguna was going to keep falling over - which was a given with both of his legs asleep - he might as well just carry him.

"Hey!! I can walk! Just give me a--"

With his trademark agility, Kiros swept Laguna up and silenced him the best way he could - with a kiss.

"Okay, you can carry me!" He droops in resignation.

"Thatís better," Kiros smiles down at him.

Several feet from the car, Kiros sets Laguna down to walk the rest of the way. Lagunaís been unusually silent most of the walk, as his thoughts and pangs of grief let go of him.


"Yes, love?"

"Thank you. Thank you for getting me to finally move on, for yours and Wardís friendship, for your love," he blushes a little at his last words.

"íLove him and take care of him for me if something bad happens,í Raine had told me. Iíve loved you for some time, and when she died, I did everything in my power to help you," Kiros looked into Lagunaís eyes, his dark hand resting on Lagunaís fair cheek.

"I - I feel better. The regret is gone, thank you." He opens the passenger door for Kiros, and then goes to his side.

Buckling in, he turns toward Kiros, smiling. "Letís go home, eternity awaits, but not for some time."



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