Authors notes: I don't own final fantasy 8 but if I did I would get rid of Rinoa. ^.^ I dont know how well this fic with sit with all of you faithful readers but i hope to hear from you if you like it.
Oceans of Memory
By Bishie Queen
My name is Seifer Almasy. I am a traitor and a killer. I even tried to kill the one I claimed to be in love with since the first time I looked into his eyes. His eyes are the stormy blue of a midsummer’s night. I always seem to find myself getting lost in his eyes.
I remember when we first met; he had been abandoned at edea’s orphanage, the same one I had been left at. When he was found crying outside the doors of the orphanage, that was the first time I lost myself in his eyes.
For the first couple of years we were inseparable. Where ever I went he followed, and vise versa. He was my best friend. I thought nothing could ever separate us, but I never counted on… her.
Elone was brought to the orphanage by a group of strange men in uniforms, and the moment she stepped through the door my squall was lost to me. She latched herself onto his heart and refused to let go. I pleaded time after time for squall to come back and play with me, but he never even gave me a second look. My heart shattered like fine china.
Jealousy is a trait I’m not too proud of, but showed very frequently. I became angry and lashed out at anyone and everyone around me especially poor little zell. I attacked him the most because he was the most vulnerable. Then the day that I had been praying for came. Men wearing strange uniforms came and they took elone away.
I was overjoyed. Now that she had gone squall would be mine again. But in all my exuberance I failed to see squalls pain. Squalls heart has always been a fragile thing, not a lot of abuse is needed to break it, but if given enough love nothing could match it in beauty.
Day after painful day he called for her with all his heart. Always he called for his ‘sis’ to return. Asking “why did she go? Why has she left me all alone?” I would have been ok with this if he was asking me these things, but he didn’t. He kept to himself and avoided everyone, including me. Even through all of the tears and the pain he still cried out for her.
I couldn’t understand it. I was there for him first! I cared for him first, and all he did was throw me aside like a pair of worn out shoes taking instead a new more ‘fashionable’ pair that caused him nothing but pain.
I could only take so much rejection from him so I did the only thing I knew how to get him to respond to me. I attacked him. I picked on him. I called him the most horrible names that I never meant but said anyway. The sick part was that I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it every time he hit me or yelled at me because he was forced to see that I did exist and he would have to notice that after all that, I’m still there.
It didn’t work like I wanted it to. Sure he noticed me, but now he hated me. I loathed myself for making him hate me, but I still couldn’t make myself stop. For when I stopped he curled in on himself and wallowed in self pity.
So when the people from GARDEN came to take me away… I went freely and without protest. I never even looked back. I didn’t want to see hatred for me in squalls beautiful stormy eyes. I crawled into the big lonely backseat of the car and did something that I swore I’d never do again… I cried for him, my squall, my heart.
I thought I’d never see him again, but imagine my surprise when nearly a year later he came to GARDEN. I ran out to meet him when he arrived, but all I got was a cold glare and a harsh comment. After all I had been to him; he had completely forgotten the good times we shared. All he remembered now was when I picked on him and fought him. I couldn’t say anything to him, his gaze held me stone still. My heart cried out for me to tell him that I fought him for HIM, but I couldn’t say anything. He left me there at the front gate, and even though I was only six I had already had my heart broken twice.
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