Little Black Book

Chapter Eighteen

By Alexis Logain

Well, Seifer had decided to take Xu's advice and head down to the orphanage. He hung out with Matron for a week, which was surprisingly entertaining. She was a phenomenal woman with a great sense of humor. It was kinda funny; he had never noticed that before. She seemed to enjoy the company too…well, enjoy having someone to put to work at least. Seifer puttered around the house and did all the odd jobs that Squall never got around to doing or just didn't know how to do.

And now he was scared shitless to go back to Balamb-G - the place he had called home for the past decade.

Selphie was planning some big bash that would be given for all the SeeDs - he couldn't quite remember the occasion, only that Selphie could use anything as an excuse for a party. He just hoped there would be some top quality booze there because he didn't think he'd be able to stand to being around the resident Ice Prince - or should he say Ice Queen? - without some of the hard stuff. Ugh, bad choice in words.

So after finishing all his random little odd jobs for Matron, Seifer contacted Balamb-G and had Xu radio a transmission to the Ragnarok, requesting that Zell and Quistis picked him up on their way home. He then got a phone call a few hours later from Quisty demanding that he explain everything. So he did. Squall may end up hating him for it, but Quisty was like his damned sister - he couldn't keep anything from her and loved her to bits. Between the three of them, they managed to come up with enough delays to make it to Balamb-G right in the middle of Selphie's big bash.

Seifer planned on making an entrance and planned on making it in style. With a crushed velvet shirt - dark green - that Quisty had picked up for him in Esthar and a pair of his black leather pants that he still wasn't quite sure how he managed to bring with him…but with the state his closet had been in, he couldn't say he was too surprised. He was just glad that they were one of his favorite pairs - soft and smooth and downright shiny in some places.

"SEIFER!" Selphie's voice echoed over the loud music and dark lighting of the courtyard and she flew up the stairs to launch herself into an embrace. Then she pulled away, much to Seifer's rib's delight, and proceeded to do the same thing to Quisty and Zell. "You're back! Oh gosh, this is so excellent!" She bounced around like a little ball, making Seifer feel both tired and dizzy. "You know what we have to do?"

"Oh Hyne - no, Selphie. We just got back," Quistis protested. Seifer got a random twisted feeling in his stomach - he knew what Selphie was going to suggest.

"Yeah, and poor Quisty's vocals are all scratchy and it's all Zell's fault too," the tall blonde joked, waggling his eyebrows. "Oh, Zell! ZELL!" The blonde in question blushed while Quistis giggled.

"Well, yeah, what's your point?" she snickered. Selphie glomped onto the three of them.

"Come on - it's a tradition. I've already gotten requests…" she pleaded.

"I haven't played a set in a year, Selphie," Zell protested.

"It's like riding a bike - "

"Or sex," Seifer put in. Selphie rolled her eyes and continued.

"Once you learn, you never forget." She bit her lip and let her eyes waver at him. Once again Seifer cursed brunette's and their ability to make puppy eyes. And no he was not going to let himself wonder if Squall could make puppy eyes. He refused. "Come on…it'll be fun. You'll play the drums and Irvine will play the guitar and I'll play the electric and Seifer'll play the bass and Quisty will sing…please?"

"Hey, I'm in," Seifer grinned. "Just as long as you guys pick something I remember how to play."

"Well, it's actually your turn to pick," Selphie told him. The blonde grinned wide.

"Oh Hyne - we're all gonna look like idiots," Zell groaned.

"Why, Zell, I'm hurt," Seifer grinned. "Do you honestly think I'd go up on a stage in front of our peers and let you look like an idiot?"


"Hmmm, good point - but I'd never do anything like that to poor Quisty." He leaned over and smacked a kiss against his friend's cheek and waggled his eyebrows at Zell, who was pouting. Which was kinda scary. "What? You want a kiss too? Come 'ere Zell, I'll give you a kiss." Seifer laughed as Zell hurried to hide behind Quistis and Selphie scurried up to the stage, dragging Irvine with her in the process. For the past five years, every time there was a bash, the five of them would get together and play a song. Or, if they were all really drunk, two or three or twelve.

The live band that had been hired gladly got off the stage for a break and Selphie climbed up to the microphone, to the crowd's pleasure. When they played, Seifer, Selphie, Irvine, Quistis, and Zell sounded really fucking good.

"Hey guys!" Selphie bubbled. Man - it was exhausting to watch her. Irvine must have a very high level of stamina to keep up with her. …Go Selphie. The crowd cheered and she grinned. "As you know, Balamb-G tradition calls for me and my fellow friends to drag ourselves up here and play a song. But, as I'm sure you all know, Zell and Quistis went off on their honeymoon - thanks to our very own Squall Leonhart!" She pointed him out and the crowd cheered for him. Seifer snickered at the glare he gave the little brunette before she continued. "Well, I have to say that I was really bummed that I'd have to get up here and tell you guys that they were gone…and that we weren't gonna play." The audience booed and whined about it, but Selphie just grinned and ate up the attention and feedback.

One of these days, she would make a very good Headmistress. Hyne knows she liked being in the center of attention enough.

Seifer dragged the other two counterparts of their little 'band' up towards the stage. "But, thanks to Seifer - " She grinned as the crowd erupted. What could he do? They adored him there…especially after he "saved" their beloved Commander. He tried not to scowl and turned on his best charming grin. "Zell and Quisty are here…so we're gonna do a song!" She turned to grin at him while the three of them climbed up to the stage. "And…this sexy blonde gets to pick our song…any requests?"

"MARRY ME!" someone screamed from below the stage. Seifer laughed and waggled his eyebrows.

"I dunno - do you give good hea - " Quistis clamped her hand over his mouth and tickled, causing the blonde to shake with laughter. From near the bar, Seifer could see Squall watching them with…longing maybe. With Squall, it was so very hard to read his emotions. She leaned up to whisper in his ear and the look on Squall's face was more intense. He was jealous. Seifer was a bit stunned by the realization and decided to take Quisty's advice on the song - it was one of his favorites.

"I think we have a song," Selphie announced. They gathered in a small circle then agreed on what to play.

"I just hope we remember it all," Quistis laughed into the microphone. It was pretty late and just about everyone was so drunk they probably wouldn't even care. "Everyone having fun?" The crowd roared. "Good!" Selphie strummed out a chord and Zell began to beat on the drums. Seifer warmed up a bit on the bass and danced near Quistis while they all began to play together.

"Every now and then I think about you and it makes me, it breaks me. Out of you and into me I'll make it. So take a look at what you do to my head. When you're leaving, I'm breathing - out of me and into you. I feel sick…I feel sick…

"Now that you're leaving - leaving - it complicates out lives. But I am the reason that I will stay alive. We are the energy, we are the same as you. Take everything you need. We are the answer to the broken breaking through. Take everything from me.

Seifer loved this - he loved being on stage in front of everyone and watching them dance and writhe to the music. That was the only reason he ever agreed to start playing. That and, as Selphie had put it, he was hot and they needed a hot bass player - one with a dangerous edge. That and Quistis sounded great.

"Every now and then I dream about you. I've lost the feeling it's dead skin. I will never be dependent again. And every now and then I think about you - it's bringing me closer to closure. Every now and then I know it's over. It's over.

"Now that you're leaving - leaving - it complicates out lives. But I am the reason that I will stay alive. We are the energy, we are the same as you. Take everything you need. We are the answer to the broken breaking through. Take everything from me." She had this wonderfully husky singing voice that was never quite singing and never quite talking. It was awesome and Seifer knew that she had always harbored dreams of singing. It was too bad she never got to follow them… "Now that you're leaving - leaving - it complicates our lives. But I am the reason that I will stay alive. We are the energy, we are the same as you. Take everything you need. We are the answer to the broken breaking through. Take everything from me.

"Cause I'm not dying, no I'm not dying today." Seifer's jaw clenched - that song had pretty much helped him through the first year there at Balamb-G. He thought about Squall constantly and about what might have happened. It's not like he didn't try to stop thinking and dreaming about the brunette…he did try - he tried real damned hard. And when he started over, there was nothing left to him. Seifer really hated it when he heard a song that fit his life so fucking well - and it was worse to be playing it. Closing his eyes, he let the bass float over him and moved to the beat next to Quistis while Selphie moved up to scream into the microphone with the pretty blonde. There wasn't a single body in the place that wasn't dancing with them.

They played a few more chords and the audience erupted. Squall was staring right at him - Hyne, he needed a beer. While the crowd chanted for more, Seifer shook his head and told Selphie no, he didn't have the energy. She told everyone that, sorry, but one was all they got this year. Maybe next year. The band that was hired retook their instruments and began to play some random slow song that Seifer couldn't identify, the male lead singer doing a good job of looking like a walking wet dream and singing like one too.

Making his way over to the bar, he nodded his head and told the bartender to give him a beer. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Squall making his way over. Seifer told the bartender to give him a scotch instead - straight up and make it fast. Hyne…he looked good. Black leather from head to toe…the lead singer to the band may have looked like a walking wet dream, but next to Squall he looked like a giant panda bear. Well, Seifer frowned…he supposed some people would have gotten turned on by that. But he preferred not to think of random acts of bestiality and turned his thoughts to what it would feel like to peel that leather off of Squall's body.

"You guys sounded good up there," Squall said to him. Seifer shrugged, knocking back his drink and asking for another.

"We did it as a ploy to get more people involved in the talent show," he explained. "They made me learn how to play the bass and we said that if at least half the junior class entered in the show then we'd all play for the entire Garden. Well, almost all of the junior class entered and everyone thought we sounded really good…so a few months later at this random party Selphie was throwing, they made us all get up on stage and perform. It's been a tradition ever since."


"Yeah." Seifer nodded and found that he had to ask for a third drink. The bartender took one good look at him, as well as the looks he and Squall were exchanging, and decided it'd be a good idea to leave the whole bottle. Smart man - he was going to have to tell Selphie that he did a very fine job and to double his paycheck for the night.

"You…uh, you look good," Squall said after a moment's silence.

"Thanks. So do you." Yeah, like a fucking god. Seifer knocked back another drink.

"I wanted…um…"

"Spit it out, Squall." Well, there's a sentence he never thought he'd be saying. The brunette blushed a little.

"Thank you. You helped me out a great deal and did what had to be done. Dante's in custody now and he'll be locked up for a very long time."


"I also…I wanted to ask you something." The blonde stared at him. They've been in this conversation before, only it was the other way around. So Seifer smirked at him and raised an eyebrow that told Squall - you are asking me a question, you dork. "Look…I was wrong. I've done a lot of thinking while you've been gone and I didn't handle things well. I handled them quite badly, in fact. And I'm sorry. You were right…I did use you. I'm sorry." Seifer's throat closed.

"You…wanted to ask me something?" he managed. Squall's lids drooped a bit and he looked up at Seifer from beneath his lashes - a look that was very sexy on the brunette.

"Wanna dance?" Seifer wanted to accuse him and say that wasn't what Squall really wanted to ask, but the beat was heavy and slow and the lighting was dark. He was going to dance with Squall and make him want him.

"Sure," the blonde smirked. "If you think you can still handle me."

"I've always been able to handle you," Squall replied slowly, a smirk reflecting on his face as well.

"Oh yeah - well, let's see then." Seifer gulped down the last of his drink, the amber liquid burning a path down his throat and churning in his stomach, and headed out to where the majority of people were writhing in the faded light. He decided to ignore the fact that he had drunk most of the bottle by himself. The stars twinkled above them and the stage lights were turned down into a pale blue as the slow song washed over everyone. Seifer could see Quistis and Zell rocking slowly together in a corner, kissing softly, while Selphie and Irvine practically had sex out in the open. Knowing those two, it wouldn't surprise him any. They had a thing for the kinkiest places to do it and once giggled about how they did it up on the roof, against the glass dome that sat over the cafeteria. Well, that would have been an interesting thing to see. He was just glad they didn't do it in the Training Center…although knowing them…

He was barely aware of Squall behind him, just of the beat of the drums. The band switched to a new song, darker and deeper and originally sung by a woman, but the man's deep, husky voice flooded Seifer's body with thoughts of sex and promises of hot, sticky nights. Seifer was going to make sure Squall damned well wanted him all the time. Because he knew Squall wanted to know everything - including the dark, the wild, and the different and Seifer could pretty much guarantee that he was as different as they came. Smirking at his train of thought, trying not to act like Zell and giggle at immature things, Seifer unbuttoned his shirt and tugged it off, tossing it towards the stage. Quistis would be a little angry if he lost it…but just about all of Garden had seen him in it, so he doubted it would be taken. Unless it was by that girl who wanted him to marry her…

But then there was Squall's reaction to seeing him, bathed in cool blue lights and a sheen of sweat. And for that, Seifer would give up anything. There was a fleeting moment of curiosity to what Squall would do if Seifer began to strip out of his pants…but decided he wasn't that interested in giving Balamb-G a free show. Someone once told him that he oozed sex. Smiling and raising an eyebrow, Seifer prayed to everything good and evil that he did just that. And so he moved and gyrated and grabbed Squall's hips, pulling him closer.

"You're not dancing…" he whispered.

"You took off your shirt." Okay, so sometimes Squall had this bad habit of stating the blatantly obvious. Seifer noted this and grinned.

"It's hot out here…you must be dying to get out of all that leather." He smirked and was just a fraction of an inch away from grinding himself into Squall's thigh. His tongue managed to find its way up and across the brunette's earlobe…mutinous tongue. Oooh, maybe if he was lucky, it'd manage to drag itself across other appendages that were sticking out from Squall's body. "You're still not dancing…come on Squall, you were the one who wanted to do this in the first place. Don't hold out on me now…" A look of pain danced through Squall's beautiful steel-gray eyes for just a moment, then was gone, replaced by a competitive gleam. Yeah, what Seifer said did have a double meaning. Now it was Squall's turn to decide if he was man enough to take what Seifer was willing to give. Licking his lips with that little pink tongue - something that made Seifer's blood go straight from simmer to boil - seemed to indicate that Squall was more than willing to play.

"You're toying with me again," Squall whispered, gyrating close to Seifer's body, his arms moving up to link around the blonde's neck.

"Yeah…but that's because I'm not willing to wait another twelve years," was the reply. Squall frowned - a silent 'what?' - and Seifer grinned. And as soon as Squall opened his mouth to speak, Seifer was on him, lips pressing against soft lips and tongue battling - it was a battle, everything between them was always about the battle - with soft, willing tongue. Squall's hands fisted in his hair and willed him to move faster, but Seifer was stronger and had a better grip and dammit, it was his turn, his show this time. And Squall would know how it felt to be a whore, not him. Never again would it be him.

Seifer's hands gripped tightly on Squall's hips, teasing him ever so slightly, then moved back to grip onto the brunette's tight little ass that Seifer had spent many an afternoon admiring. And then as quickly as the beat changed, Seifer was pulling back and writhing and moving to the music, dancing hard and dancing fast and sweat poured down his back, making his skin hot to the touch but cool to him. Squall's throat clenched and bobbed and Seifer let his eyes slide shut, enjoying the feel of Squall's eyes upon his body.

He was wanted. Squall wanted him. And if Squall told him he was a liar, then he'd point out that that was either a gunblade in his pocket, or Squall was very happy to see him.

And with that, he had power.

Leaning close to give Squall a quick, smacking kiss, he grinned - his teeth flashing white in the night - and sauntered off, in search of his shirt.

"That's quite a show you gave," Quistis commented as Seifer moved towards her. He grinned and shrugged.

"Yeah. Where'd the Chicken go?" The pretty blonde rolled her eyes and laughed at him.

"To get us a drink. And look, he's got your shirt. You know, it took me four hours to find one that was the right color. I almost got you it in fuchsia, but I didn't think you'd appreciate it. Especially now…" Seifer nodded gravely and thanked his friend as Zell neared, tossing his shirt at

him."So what's up with you and Squall?"

"I fucked him and he fucked me over," Seifer told them bluntly.

"You…you two…you mean you two…"

"Yes, Zell, we slept together. Several times, actually. Want details? Or perhaps a full description of what Squall looks like naked. Well, let's just say he looks like - "

"Who looks like what?" Seifer winced as Squall's voice rang out clear, despite the music. Snatching Zell's beer, the tall blonde took a swig and enjoyed the nice buzz he was feeling.

"You," he replied. Quistis got this strange look on her face and Zell turned bright red. "I figured that since you got to use me and lose me, I'd give my friends here a good description. I was about to get to measurements - maybe you can help me out with this. Seven soft, eight hard? Or was it eight -

""What are you doing?" Squall hissed, his voice strangled. Quistis laid her hand on her husband's arm and was about to guide him away when Seifer grabbed her free wrist.

"No, stay. I'm sure someone'll want to supervise and make sure that we don't kill or maim each other." His expression hardened. "I poured out my heart to you, you cold, soul-less bastard. And you brushed me off like none of it mattered."

"Yeah - I know the feeling. You did the same thing to me seven years ago!" Squall hissed back. Seifer let go of Quistis long enough to grab onto Squall, his thigh moving obscenely between Squall's legs.

"Yeah, well I don't remember. But you do, don't you? You've been fucking around with your head and you know everything that happened to all of us. But you haven't felt like sharing. You haven't felt like giving us back our memories. And then you come waltzing back in here and act all indifferent - well you know what, Squall? You want me." He leaned in and kissed the man hard. "But you can't have me." Seifer shoved Squall away from his body and gulped down his beer to wash the taste of the brunette from his mouth, and moved his way through the crowd. By the time he got to the doors, he had his shirt on, but wasn't quite sure when he finally shrugged it on. Somehow, probably by the sheer will of a god considering how sluggish he was beginning to feel, Seifer made it to Zell's room - determined not to sleep on another fucking couch - and passed out as alcohol buzzed through his veins. One thing was for sure, the morning was going to fucking suck.

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