Hopefully this is good. It's my very first humor fic, so I'm crossing my fingers here. I've never been very good at humor. So this is a new style that I've seen done before. I think it works well for short humorous one- shots ^_^ Disclaimer: Squaresoft own these sexy men ^^

It's too Hot to Have Sex

By Redrum

"Come on Squall!"




"Don't be such a downer."


"Come on.. pleeeassee?"

"No Seifer."

Seifer steps down onto the floor, turning around he faces Squall who is reclining on the bed. Several medium sized fans rustle chestnut locks. A curtain of hair covers the brunette's face as he looks at the blonde kneeling pitifully on the floor.

"I'll make it worth your while."

Seifer grins provocatively. Running his tongue along his lower lip and jutting out his faded jean clad pelvis. Squall snorts and flicks his hair out of his stormy eyes.

"And what exactly would be worth my while?"

Seifer looks down, taking the time to think. He doesn't see the small smile that plays on Squall's full lips.

"I don't know.. what do you want?"

Squall pretends to think.

"For you to leave me alone."

"Come on Squall! Stop being a prick!"

Squall shakes his head.

"Calling me names isn't going to help your case."

"What? What case?"

Squall shakes his head again. The blonde man rubs his sore knees as he stands back up. Cracking his neck, he crawls back onto the bed. Sitting on the other man's hips.

"No Seifer, it's too hot."

Seifer pouts.


Seifer grins slightly, and rolls his hips.

"..N-no Seifer."

The blonde man continues to ignore the other's pleas. Placing his large hands on either side of Squall's head, until he's securely gripping the smooth headboard, Seifer grinds his hips down.


Squall shakes his head as sweat begins to pool on his lean chest.

"Seifer, it's too hot. Stop it."

The larger man sits back at the blunt order. He tilts his head to the side and ponders. Squall scrunches his eyebrows in a silent question. Not knowing, and almost not wanting to know what's going on inside that sexy head of his. Seifer's eyes suddenly widen, and he leans over to the night table and plucks a large ice cube out of the oval bowl sitting there. Squall's elegant eyebrows shoot up, leaving a surprised and almost scared expression on the normally stoic face.

"This should cool you off."

"No Seifer, don't put that thing near me. It's too cold!"

"Oh, so now your complaining it's too cold?"

"Yes! It's a fuckin' ice cube! Of course it's cold."

"Your the one complaining it's too hot."

"That doesn't mean I want ice shoved down my pants."

Seifer grins. Sliding down to sit in between the smaller man's spread legs.

"Thanks for the idea Squally-boy."


Seifer slips the large ice cube inside the tight pants.


Squall jumps up from the bed unzipping his pants hurriedly. The zipper almost catches on the small trail of chocolate hair that rests there. Shoving a hand down his pants, Squall tries to pull the ice out. His mouth twists in pain as the cube manages to make it's way further down. Sliding his pants off his long legs, Squall quickly steps out of them. Still feeling the cold touch, he quickly gets rid of his black briefs too. Looking at the performance from the side lines, Seifer grins leisurely. Squall finally stops jumping up and down. Bending down, he picks up the quickly melting ice cube. Looking over at Seifer, not caring about his nudity, the brunette chucks it at his head.


And successfully hits the blonde on the forehead. Squall smiles brightly.

"Just for that, were not going to have sex for a week."

"What?! You can't be serious Squall?"

"Of course I am. When am I not?"

The lean brunette makes his way back over to the bed. Getting comfortable, he lies back with his head cradled on his arms. Seifer starts towards him.

"If you come near me, no sex for two weeks."

The blonde stops abruptly. Sighing in frustration he makes his way towards the bathroom. The sound of running water and a loud yelp as the cold droplets rush at his engorged flesh can be heard. Squall smirks in satisfaction. Knowing that he'll gladly give in when the blonde makes his way from the shower. Seifer's skin will be cold enough that Squall won't have to worry about the heat of the summer day. His smile grows as he crosses his ankles comfortably, happy to be getting his way again. .

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