Author's Notes: The first Shounen-ai or YAOI I ever wrote.

Disclaimer: All characters and places belong to squaresoft and no infringement is intended.

Okay, this is just a little warning. This is my first attempt at a YAOI fanfiction so if you hate it, don't be too harsh, just give me a little advice..., oh yeah and reader discretion is advised.
luv, Nicola Wilcox AKA thedarksquall. ~_\~

The Island Closest To Heaven Or Is It Hell?

(A Squall and Zell fanfiction.)

By Darksquall

"You can make me whole again...."

- Atomic Kitten


Zell felt like killing himself.

He wondered what he'd done so wrong that morning for his life to suddenly take this unbelievable twist.

Squall Leonhart lay before him, terribly wounded.

He had to replay the last few minutes in his mind so he could comprehend what had happened.

******** That morning. ********

"Hey Squall!" Zell cried as the commander strode past him. "What's up?" Squall shook his head and ignored the annoying martial artist, heading towards the main gate. Zell jumped up and followed him.

"Come on man, where're you goin'?"

"Very well, Zell." Squall stopped dead and swung around, Zell barely managed to stop himself from bumping into the commander. "If you must know, I'm fed up of sitting on my arse waiting for something to happen. I'm going to find the last few items I need to upgrade my gunblade to the Lionheart standard." That was possibly the most Zell had ever heard him say.

"Cool. Can I come?" That moronic grin reappeared on his lips once again.

Squall rubbed his forehead and sighed in exasperation. ('Is there any way I am going to get away with saying no?') He thought to himself.

"Please? I'll be quiet and...," Zell paused, looking for something else to convince him. "And besides, you need dragon fangs to do that and the only monsters that carry them are on the island closest to hell and you can't fly the Ragnarok which you need to get there...." Zell continued to ramble and Squall felt a little alarmed.

"Zell." Squall gently gripped his upper arm and squeezed a little. "Breathe, okay?"

Zell took a deep breath and immediately hiccupped, before turning a remarkable shade of red. The corners of Squall's mouth twitched and moved up ever so slightly. If it had been anyone else, they would have been rolling on the floor in fits of laughter by now, but this one wasn't like that. This one was special.

"Sorry." The blonde man smiled sheepishly. "Besides, I need a fury fragment, and I heard a rumour you could get them there. Come to think of it, we all need items so why not go as a group?"

Squall shook his head again, nutmeg brown tinged with the odd strand of red danced over his forehead hiding his scar for a second. Hiding Seifer and his influence from view allowing Zell a brief reprieve from the memory of the blonde bastard. Then it was back again, just like the scowl. "I'm not used to all the company Zell."

"True." He nodded. "Up 'til recently, you were a real lone wolf." He began to ramble not knowing how this would make Squall feel. "Now you got Rinoa hanging off your arm, Quistis fawning over you and a whole garden watching your every move."

The man in black winced. "Thanks for reminding me."

"Sorry." He said apologizing again.

"Forget it."

The two men walked to the dragon-like airship and within twenty-five minutes were standing on the island closest to hell. The Ragnarok rose up into the air on a preservation program. The two had agreed that they would stay until the evening, to raise their skill levels and decided against leaving their transport open to attack from the vicious monsters.

Squall slotted six shells into the chamber of his gunblade, flicked his hair back out of his eyes and then tightened the gunslinger's belts around his waist. Zell looked down at his gloves and realized they were too slack so he set about putting them right, stealing a quick glance at the commander every now and then.

Perhaps, if he hadn't been looking at Squall so intently, he would've heard the Malboro creeping up behind him. Perhaps he would have seen the attack that Squall had seen and been able to side step it. But he could not change that now.

Malboro's tentacles had been raised high in the air, dripping with that venom that could cause death in minutes. They had descended towards him with incredible force hoping to capture him as a meal.

All Zell could remember was Squall jumping towards him, striking him square in the chest and taking him down, and the look of pain and incredible anguish as the tentacles had pierced his body, passing clear through to enter the skin and flesh of Zell's stomach.

All Zell could remember was calling upon every GF that he had or knew to take revenge on the bastard plant.

All Zell could remember was hating himself because of that nerve-tingling warm feeling that had spread through him when he had felt the pressure of Squall's body upon his own.

******** Now. ********

Zell had slung him over his shoulder and made his way to a set of earth works, a small cave in the shore of the island.

Placing Squall's body on the sandy floor, Zell chased and battled the smaller foes that resided in the semi darkness until there were none left. The stupidest thing was, in these minor and insignificant battles, he acquired three fury fragments and no less than seven dragon fangs.

The entrance to the cave lay up a steep slope and lay almost directly above Squall, a golden shaft of light illuminating him, shimmering on the bloodied leather. He was alone with the Lion of Balamb garden.

Finally, Zell forced himself to snap into the professional mode of a highly trained mercenary, and set to attempting to heal Squall.

Carefully removing his friend from the fur lined leather jacket that had become a part of his image and ripping the reddening tee shirt from his body, Zell turned him and surveyed the damage. The exit wound through the front of his abdomen was the worst of them and he was suffering several status effects. As Zell cast esuana he cursed himself as he remembered the elixer he had left on his bed in the dorms. It would've come in useful about now.

Fighting back repulsion from the open wounds Zell poured a potion over the gash to sterilize it and set about cleaning all the plant matter from it. A faint groan emanated from Squall's mouth and his eyes opened. Zell felt that familiar cold granite gaze on his cheek and he glanced at the scarred face. "You should've stayed out cold Squall, it would've been easier on both of us."

"You should know by now, I never take the easy way out." He whispered, a whisper that was punctuated with a sharp intake of breath through his gritted teeth as a particularly long piece of vegetation was pulled out.

"Hmm." Zell was concentrating on the task at hand and would have otherwise been chattering away if he hadn't felt so guilty. "I shouldn't have come with you Squall. This is all my fault. If you'd been alone....."



"Just shut the fuck up and finish what you're doing."


When the wounds were clean, he tipped the entire bottle of a hi-potion, the last one in his possession, upon it and watched it heal a little before bandaging it. It became obvious to the martial artist that the esuana was either taking it's time to work or was not working at all.

A fine film of sweat glimmered upon Squall's chiselled torso, highlighting every single muscle on his chest, and making Zell want to hold him, kiss him... God, how he loved the lion.

Squall's breathing was hard and even in the thick heat of the island's climate he shivered, and was close to passing out. "Come on Squall, talk to me." He pleaded as he moved over to him.

"About what?"

"Ermm...." He paused. "Tell me what it was that started the argument between you and Seifer that morning."

"You wouldn't believe me."

"Hey, come on. It's Seifer we're talking about. I'll believe anything."

"Well, if you insist...." Squall reached out and took Zell's hand into his own, then pressed the palm against his chest above his heart so that he could feel the pulse. "He touched me like this, kissed me, said he wanted me.... and I told him to piss off and fuck Raijin instead."

Zell smiled, then laughed. He attempted to move his hand, but Squall held it there.

"I'm scared Zell." The voice was so small, it suddenly seemed like he was that little boy calling for his Sis in the rain so long ago once more. Zell bit his lip and looked away.

"What of? Ultimecia?"

"No. Of what's expected of me. Of not being what they think I am."

As Squall bit his lip, arching his back as a particularly large wave of pain hit him, Zell lay down beside him and held him. Pulling him close. Squall broke down at that point. Squall showed that he wasn't an iceberg after all, that he actually, was human. Perhaps it was a combination of the potions in his system, or the pain he was in or maybe just all the pressure that rested upon him. A few salty tears escaped his cold pretense of uncaring and dampened the skin of Zell's neck.

The tears of the lion were brief but full of meaning.

Zell put a hand under his chin, and tipped the rosebud of a mouth upwards, embracing Squall's lips with his own. The kiss was deep, the kiss made everything they had gone through worthwhile. After a few moments Squall pulled away and looked at him in surprise.

"Zell, I...."

"Squall. Like you said before, just shut the fuck up."

Squall gave a light laugh and gripped the front of Zell's jacket, kissing him once more. Each touch of their lips sent a heavenly shiver down Squall's spine. Shaking his glove off, he ran his fingertips down the side of Zell's face, leaving a faint tingle wherever his touch rested. The blonde's response was quick, a moan and an aching longing for a deeper physical contact. Squall's need was there also, and had he not been injured, they would have both been satisfied.

The events of the day had prohibited anything further than this, this holding each other, wanting each other, this.... feeling whole again. Feeling loved, even if it only was for a few hours.

Whatever Squall had lost with Seifer a few months ago was quite easily replaceable as he found out when Zell had whispered, "Let's just hold each other.... If we carry on, I won't be able to stop myself." And he had agreed. That was what he had missed most of all, since the 'dramatic break-up' that had sparked many fights and culminated in two scar-leaving head wounds.

The feeling needed.

The feeling loved.

And he knew that as long as there was Garden, as long as there was Zell Dincht, he would be needed....

And he would definitely be loved.


The end, for now......


Nikki notes.

Hello again.

Unaltered since it was first posted.

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Mail me! darksquall @

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