AUTHOR'S NOTES: Firstly, none of the characters are mine.
Secondly, the lyrics of the song "Iris" are not mine.They belong to the Googoo Dolls, their record company, etc etc. All of which are richer and more influential than I am. By suing me they would only get my collection of 200+ Sailor Moon sticker-card thingies that are just gathering dust.
Thirdly, I love this song; partly 'cuz of the lyrics and partly 'cuz it always reminds of the movie City of Angels which never fails in making me cry. I always get a little weepy and sappy when I hear this song, so the fic may have came out a little weepy and sappy.
This is not a piece I spent a lot of time on, so don't expect it to be my greatest work.

Iris

By Kaerith

I looked at him. Squall. He was still gorgeous enough to make my heart stop beating. My eyes, the only part of my body I could control when under Edea's influence, lingered over his scar. My scar. The one I gave him. It complimented his dark beauty instead of marring it.

I ached for him. I always have. We are two halves of a whole: light and dark. Why hasn't he seen that?

At that moment he stood, gunblade raised and ready in a guard position. He wore a fierce look of concentration. The battle began. I struggled vainly in a corner of my mind to stop fighting him. Edea had made me a prisoner in my own mind. She controlled my movements in times like these, when I was "useful." My life was hell.

My body continued fighting Squall. Gunblade met gunblade time and time again. While delivering the final blow he whispered (to ME!), "I understand. I'm trying to set you free."

And all I can taste is this memory
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

For days afterward I marveled at that memory. He understands! Squall knew I didn't want to hurt him, that I was completely manipulated by the Sorceress.

I clung to that thought when I was locked in a room during the times She didn't need me. It gave me strength, warmth, and hope.

Please. Let Squall be OK. Let him win. I didn't know if there was a supreme being, but praying never hurt. Even if a god out there had abandoned me, I hoped he still was with Squall.

Don't let him die. Please.

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

Ultimecia had eternally changed me. Even after Squall and his friends defeated her. I was still different. I knew it. I no longer acted confident and arrogant.

In the days following the final battle, I limped from village to village begging for food, water, or shelter. I was recognized in every town. Everyone despised me; no one would help me.

Still, I struggled to reach Balamb Garden… and Squall.

It was Rinoa who found me at the Garden's front gate. I saw the pity in her eyes before she recognized me. Then I saw the hatred and disgust.

Then I saw the ring she wore on a chain around her neck. Squall's ring. I sprawled there, stunned. Her tirade went right over my head until she kicked me.

"Get out of here! No one wants to see you!" She whirled around and through the gate. It shut and locked behind her.

Tears fell in the grass. I'm just fooling myself. Squall doesn't want me anywhere near him.

I stood, leaning against Hyperion. My gunblade. Now I used it as a crutch. I turned and headed toward the forest.

I stopped on a knoll. I plunged Hyperion into the earth. I cut my wrists on the blade near the hilt, where it was still moderately sharp. I propped myself up against a boulder.

I stared up at the sky while my life ran from my veins. Thank you, Squall, for saving all this. All of my senses seemed sharper. I noticed the blues, whites, and greens; I smelled the grass and wind. Funny how I felt the most alive at the time of my death.

Squall, I love you.

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