Author's Notes: All Final Fantasy stuff/characters are not owned by me and all rights apply to the lucky bastards who do own them. The song "I Love You...I'll Kill You" is by Enigma and all rights apply to them. Pretty angsty here (for me) and I have no idea where this came from.

For Darksquall because you introduced me to some wonderful people that I'm all the richer for. Thanks babe, from the bottom of my heart.

Thanks to my beta, Leia for being so good.

~ indicates character POV

I Love You... I'll Kill You

By Iron Dog


I see love, I can see passion

I can see the love and passion in him when it's just us together like this. Warm, naked flesh sliding against each other. Soft words of desire whispered against lips parted in sensual abandon. Tongues licking erotic designs on salty skin. Hard flesh slipping in deep to fill the emptiness that only leaves when he's inside me. Crystal bright pleasure when release smashes through our bodies.

I feel danger, I feel obsession

Dangerous feelings of obsession. Wanting him beyond anything and anyone else. Willing to do anything to have him with him me just a little longer. Dangerous thoughts and feeling best left unsaid.

Don't play games with the ones who love you

To him this is all a game that I refuse to play along with. He doesn't understand. I don't think he'll ever understand. Most of the time I'm not sure that I understand why I love him. It's hopeless, but I do.

'Cause I hear a voice who says:
I love you... I'll kill you...

In my head, I hear the Voice. It tells me what will happen one day. It whispers 'I love you ... I'll kill you' like a mantra. I will do everything in my power to make sure that never happens but the Voice only whispers in my skull 'I love you...I'll kill you'.

Loneliness, I feel loneliness in my room...

He's gone from my bed by the time I wake up in the morning. I sit, alone, and watch the sun come up. The loneliness returns with his absence. There is only loneliness in my room, my life, without him. Only the loneliness hears me whisper, "I love you Seifer."


Look into the mirror of your soul

I look into his changeable eyes, the mirror of his soul, as I push into him. He's hot and tight and perfect. He was made for me. We both know this. We both deny it outside of this room where the world can see us.

Love and hate are one in all

He thinks I don't see what's there for those who bother to look. Love and hate are rolled into one. He loves what we do together and hates that we fight. He doesn't understand what drives me to want to loose myself in him one moment and try to kill him the next. He doesn't understand the rush of knowing that I have found someone who could end this existence of mine.

Sacrifice turns to revenge and believe me

He would do anything for me when I have him under me like this. We both know it. There is a hole in his soul that only I seem able to fill. That's dangerous. Sacrifice always turns to revenge. Believe me, I know from experience.

You'll see the face who'll say:

To see his face is to want him. Want to possess him. Want to devour him. Want to fight him. Maybe even want to kill him; just to see if I can.

I love you... I'll kill you...

I know he loves me. He's never said it but I can see it in his beautiful eyes. I'll never tell him I love him because someday, I'll probably kill him. He'll never tell me he loves me for the same reason.

But I'll love you forever

But we'll love each other forever.

Loneliness, I feel loneliness in my room...

I leave him sleeping. He's beautiful and mine for this brief instant in time. When I'm without him and back in my room waiting for the day to start, I feel the loneliness. Into the loneliness of my room I whisper what I can never tell him, "I love you, Squall."

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