DISCLAIMER: Goldfinger (the cutecute band waaaai I love them they're so cute! Specially the bald guy!) owns the song ("If"), whomever wrote Harry Potter (too hyper to remember, too gimpy to check) owns quidditch, and Square owns FFVIII. I own the plot, meager as it is.

If

By Angie

The night is chilly as the stars above
The things you said that day made me feel loved
To smell your hair and feel you in my arms
How I trusted you and let myself go

The pictures in my head of what could never be
You cut me off, you let me down, you lied to me

- "If" - Goldfinger

You bastard.

I hope your happy. You must be. Why else would you stay away?

I miss you.

Why? All you ever did was hurt me.

Did I never leave you satisfied? I tried my best, but you always seemed to stray.

I miss lying in your arms, just feeling your strength around me, protecting me. Knowing that you loved me.

But I was wrong. You never could have loved me.

Because you're gone.

Love doesn't just fucking disappear! ...I thought we'd last forever. I wanted us to.

Because I cared. I dared to love you. And you left.

Zell sighed softly as he read what he had written, all tears having left his body.

~Well, it's over. It's officially over.~

He closed his journal, and picked up the letter and newspaper clipping he'd received. The letter was short and formal: such was Squall's style, even after all these years.

~Who would have thought that the great Squall would end up with my Irvine?~ he shook his head. ~He isn't yours anymore Zell. He hasn't been for awhile. Now it's time to admit it, and move on.~

He gently placed the envelope on his desk, and padded silently over to his bed.

The small apartment looked nothing like it did when Irvine had still been there. The pictures once covering the walls had been torn down, leaving the once cheery room gloomier than a prison.

Ever since the break-up, Zell had been hiding from everyone how he really felt. He thought he'd done a fine job of keeping up his mask of cheerfulness, but judging from this he was wrong.

~The least they could have done was invited me.~

He gasped, sobbing again as he buried his face in his pillow.

~I don't care anymore. It's over. I don't need him. I can do it myself.~

Somewhere, in the back of his mind, a small voice just laughed. #Bullshit.# It seemed to me saying, mocking him.

Seifer knocked anxiously on the door of Zell's apartment.

He had just spoken to Squall and Irvine, who had both asked him to check on Zell.

-They have a right to be concerned. They haven't had to see him slowly break apart.- Seifer thought, his slow-burning anger at Irvine showing. -That bastard breaks his heart, leaves, and takes up with Zell's best friend.-

Seifer would have killed Irvine. Except that he had no reason to, other than hyper-fluctuating empathy.

He snorted to himself. -Empathy? You're pathetic. It's not empathy, it never has been, and never will be.-

He shrugged, and pushed against the door. It clicked and swung open.

-He didn't lock it? Odd...-

Zell glared at the opening door. When Seifer's face appeared, he was somewhat suprised.

"What, comin' to check up on me to see if I was so heartbroken I'd killed myself?" Zell snorted angrily. "I'm not -that- pathetic."

He reached under the bed and grabbed the half empty bottle of vodka that he'd stashed under there.

"Just celebratin'. Care to join me? It's not like you got anythin' better ta do. Except maybe lockin' yerself in your room and jerkin' off?"

Seifer grinned. -Well, this isn't what I was expecting. But, if I stay then I can keep an eye on him, like they had asked me.- Seifer reasoned to himself.

#Bu~llshi~t# A sing-song voice rang inside his head.

"How the hell can you drink this shit? It tastes like nail polish remover." Seifer questioned Zell, before grabbing the bottle back. "It's revolting!"

Zell shrugged. "It serves it's purpose, an' that's all that matters right now, ne?"

Seifer seemed to ponder this for a moment before smiling brightly. "Okay!"

Zell's eyes widened. "Shit, that was perhaps th' scariest fuckin' thing I've ever seen! Do it again! Do it again!"

"Do what again?"

"That!" Zell waved his hands. "Be non-Seifer-ish! Now!"

"...I'm not sure I understand, but okay! What do you want me to do to be non-Seifer-ish?"

"Sing? Dance? No... I know! Tell me a story, please?"

Seifer paused. "All three? or pick one?"

"Tell me a story! I want a story! I want a story!"

Seifer sweatdropped. "...okay..... Any preferences?"

Zell snuggled up into Seifer's lap. "Somethin' happy. With a Prince fallin' in love with a Prince. An' a happy endin'!"

Seifer's eyebrows furrowed together as he tried to think.

"Once upon a time, there was a Prince named Hiei and he lived in a giant castle at the edge of his country."

"Name him Zell! I wanna be in the story!"

Seifer counted to ten slowly before starting again. "Once upon a time, there was a Prince named Zell, and he lived in a giant castle at the edge of his country.

"Now, every morning Prince Zell would go out and visit among his people. He would often search out his best friend, a local maiden by the name of--"

"Selphie!"

"Fine. A maiden by the name of Selphie, who had grown up with the Prince.

"Now, on this day Selphie's friend was visiting her. Her friend was the Prince of the neighboring country, who was named--"

"Seifer!"

"Yes, the Prince was named Seifer. Now, Prince Seifer was rivaled through all the kingdoms for his amazing good looks and charm, and for his awe-inspiring fighting skills.

"Now Seifer, upon seeing the incredibly adorable Prince Zell, fell instantly in love with him. But Prince Zell was still lingering over his old lover, a Knight by the name of Irvine. So Prince Seifer feared that all was lost.

"Gradually, Prince Seifer tried to make a placed for himself in Prince Zell's life, even if it was just as a friend. He had to be near the smaller Prince.

"One day while they were all gathered at the castle, playing a game of..."

"Quidditch!"

"....quidditch, Prince Zell's mother, Queen Edea, announced that there was to be a ball, so that a bride could be found for Prince Zell.

"Both Prince Zell and prince Seifer were upset by this announcement. Zell was still in love with Irvine, whom had found a new lover, and Seifer did not want anyone else to be with his Zell.

"But there was no way around the ball, so plans were made by both parties to avoid any possible catastrophe. Zell planned on running away before the ball began, hoping he could find someplace to stay for how ever long it took to get out of it. And Prince Seifer was trying to find a way to prevent Zell from falling for anyone other than the taller blonde.

"When the ball arrived, Zell was no where to be found. The King and Queen were afraid and panicking, for they loved their son greatly. Prince Seifer, dressed in his finest, immediately left the ball and began searching all of the possible places for Prince Zell.

"He finally found Prince Zell in the ruins of an old castle on the boarder between their countries.

"Prince Zell had curled up in one corner, trying to block out the winter cold. In doing so, he had accidentally fallen asleep.

"Sensing the potential for danger, Prince Seifer leaned over and tried to awake the sleeping prince. But, nothing would work, sop Seifer resorted to the one thing he longed for the most, that had suprisingly never failed in any of the stories he had ever read.

"He bent down and captured the sleeping Prince's lips in his own, in a soft yet firm kiss.

"Prince Zell awoke slowly, and smiled when he saw the taller blonde.

"'Seifer! What are you doing here? Why are you not at the ball?'

"'Why go to the ball when the main attraction is right here?'

"Prince Zell grinned broadly. He reached up, and pulled Prince Seifer down for a kiss.

"'What was that for?' Seifer questioned.

"'I was making a promise. That we'd never be apart.'

"Seifer stopped for a second, suprised. Then he picked up the small Prince, and carried him back towards his castle, to the ball.

"'I want to show my love for you to the world.'"

Seifer looked down at Zell, who was sleeping happily in Seifer's lap.

"Kawaii...." Seifer said, trailing one finger along Zell's tattoo.

"Seifer...?" Zell asked sleepily. "Did you mean what you said?"

"What did I say?"

"In the story. About wanting to show your love to the world?"

Seifer paused for a second, before answering truthfully. "Hai, I did."

Zell made a quiet little noise in the back of his throat, and opened his eyes. He reached up, and pulled Seifer down for a kiss, just like in the story.

"Just making a promise..." Zell said, and fell back asleep.

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