Feedback: *flutters eyelashes* Pleease?


By Pandora Vetinari

Sadomasochism. One word, thirteen letters. One word, with the ability to stop conversations dead and have you labelled as a freak by people who arrange their CD collections in alphabetical order. Personally, I think it's more the masochism that gets to them. A large element of sadism is power, and there's a part of every person that can emphasize with the desire for it. It's easier to understand a lust for power, as opposed to a lust for pain.

But masochism isn't so much a lust for pain as a need, an addiction. And whether or not it starts as an addiction, that's how it ends. The body becomes addicted to pain, and its all so beautifully natural. Proof that you don't need crack to fuck your mind and life up. You can scoff at that, if you wish. I imagine many of the people I've told that to would have, had they the nerve. People tend not to scoff at me…at least, not after the first time. People are like dogs. A few harsh kicks at appropriate times is just as effective as months of obedience training. It's why Balamb Garden has the highest SeeD pass rate. It has me to do in less than a week what it takes patient, amicable instructors from Trabia over a month to do. But I digress.Pain can be addictive, or rather, can be the cause of an addiction. I'll explain. Whenever the central nervous system registers pain, the first thing it does is kick in the reflexes. The second thing is release chemicals to numb the pain. Pain killers, in essence. And any hard up junkie will tell you how addictive /they/ are. How do I know this? Because I pay a lot more attention than people are willing to give me credit for. And because any good hunter will study his prey before the final blow.

I've learnt how to inflict physical pain to such a degree it could almost be considered perfection. As with emotional pain. But while I'll happily talk to you about the physical side of this, I won't even begin to pretend to understand the allure of emotional torture as far as the victim's concerned. Perhaps you'd be better off to ask Dincht. I don't know if he actually enjoys the verbal and mental abuse I give him, but he keeps coming back for more. If rumour holds true, it's all because he wants me to fuck him. Fat chance. He may be fuckworthy, I'll grant him that, but…

He isn't Squall.

Which is a good thing, I guess. Bloody hell, I couldn't deal with two frustratingly attractive emotional retards, the one's bad enough.Before you even suggest it, no. I am not smitten with him. But there is something wonderfully satisfactory in getting a reaction out of him. And you know something? I'm the only one who can do that to him. Any challenge, or attempt at conversation, from anyone other than myself is met with a cold, uninterested indifference. I take pride in that. True, public opinion is that I'm an egotistical bastard who takes pride in pretty much everything. But who am I to argue with public opinion?

I'll be the first to break Squall. I'm sure of that. I was his first training partner, his first duel, and one way or another, I'll be his first lover. He'll give into me eventually. He will fight, in fact, I'm counting on it, but eventually he'll surrender, and I'll capture his , somewhat well hidden, heart.

It's all a matter of knowing your prey.

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